Howtolive

Thank you for the insights. She mentioned going to different city’s for these bachata evening. First there is teaching from 9-12 and then there is open dance 12-6 in the morning. She also was part of events where you go to different parts of the world or cities. You say they are more used for hook ups ? I would say it’s a very special hobby if you also want a stable relationship.

I get you. For me it’s important to also show respect for the relationship. Like not posting pictures on social media with lots of sexy photos or being in environments that are possible tempting for a relationship. Goes for male and female. I would say more like healthy standards compared to postmodern view -> individuality and fun above relationship norms.

She mentioned dancing till early in the morning and also sometimes that there are events yes.

Thank you ! Did she continue to dance when you guys were being together ? If so was that a problem for you?

I see. If that true then it would be a no go to me.

I see nice observations. So is it fair to say that it’s not comparable to other sports where you meet in a club. For example, tennis club, boxing, golf any form of sport that meets somewhere and trains? To me a sport where dating is so much in the foreground is not really a sport then per say.

How was the experience after the classes ? Are the people really there to dance or is it more about socialization? Sometimes the batchata looks a little bit like foreplay to me.

Thanks ! Where are they from ?

So you describe the people there as not so promiscuous ? It’s a bit off for me, when it’s so much connected to dating

This is more directed at the guys, but also open for some woman’s POV. I meet a girl and we click good so far. She is dancing bachata since some years. it’s a very close/sensual dance were the partners have lots of contacts with the Hipps etc. Generally girls that dance I find very interesting/feminine. To me it’s just a bit to much when I see other guys being that close. Plus I heared that los of men join these bachata party’s more as a social event to find girls. So Not an atmosphere where you want a possible partner to spend much time in. To me these Latino dance styles also always appear a bit to hedonistic for me. Has anybody experiences with this dancing Szene or being in a similar situation ? When is it a value clash and when is it insecurity? Happy to hear some thoughts

It's because you did not see having a relationship with those girls from the start I guess ? Friends with benefits is basically the friend zone for females

I also agree. Can you explain what you mean by : overinflates how much we have actually done that. ?

Maybe that’s explains why nearly all cultures tried to regulate casual sex. Back then the affects were much bigger of course without the pill and condom. Yes I agree with the male instincts and that’s why I think it is based on a like, even going so far that if woman could listen to our thoughts, they would not engage in casual sex with us.

Did they not care with the woman they slept with or the ones the wanted to have a relationship with ? The issue usually does not arrise if the men was promiscuous.

thats a good point. Woman can have all the casual sex they want and men , too. But I belive each gender had to live with the consequences of their actions. I would also argue that the hurtful/distrust feeling men get when hearing the spouse had lots of men before them is deeply rooted in biology. So in a way casual sex for woman usually less appriciated by males who seriously want to date.