Dodo

My Ego also strives like yours to be comfortable in the illusion, but maybe nightmare is better for the goal of Awakening. Definitely not what my Ego wants, my conditioned human self.

Yes, even me asking for help is predetermined. I don't see an entity that made this choice, it just happened.

Where is the choice coming from? There is no-one in control. You are deeper in samsara than you think.

Maybe will reach samadhi and will all be worth it.

The pros of being homeless is I will be able to meditate all day. Will meditate with a cup in front of me, will just have to grow some thicker skin I guess

I wish you to lose the next ten 90% win possibilities you have in order to know my pain. I wish you to win the anti-lottery. I wish you to hold your head in disbelief when reality fucks you over and over again like it is fucking me right now. Please do not help, I will do this the egoic way. Fuck everyone, and everything, I will try to climb out of this hole myself or die trying. Peace out.

Don't lie, you were never going to help. People are all talk. Selfless bla bla, when it comes time to show if they can part with a small chunk of money, everyone chooses to whistle away in the other direction.

You dont know the things that happened to be and the anti luck I had in the process. It's the reason for this post. It's like hitting the 1%, I guess 99 out of 100 versions of me are right now fucking rich, but I chose to experience the version where I suffer lmao. It's like the more I listen to "luck mediations" and "luck/abundance binaural beats" the less luck I have. Everything in this world is luck. Imagine Usain Bolt having a knee injury that doesnt allow him to compete in running, before he won all the things he did. That's kind of what happened.

When I die, I will have big stacks, the perfect joke by God :))) I definitely didnt get the timing right

Investing takes time which I no longer have. I am sure that my investment would succeed in the long run, but you know everything

Bad investments. But I hate when people call this gambling. Do we call failed businesses gambling? It's exactly the same as having a failed business and now facing the music.

lack of job, debts and not big savings

Bulgaria

Well i need to start practicing. Does anyone on this forum have the financial means to help me in this tough time? [after all many of you have stated in past that we are one, so you would be helping yourself] I would be forever greatful and return the money if i manage to get out of of trouble. My Ego hates asking for help, i wanted to do it all on my own... Well fk. Consider this post my paper cup. I hope im not breaking a forum rule, but I'm running out of options and food. I'm desperate at this point. Please PM me if you can help

Im here until I cannot pay my Internet and phone. When im not here you will not be able to reply to me. I do have abundance within me and can feel happy with little. But soon my world will get rocked and I will be on the streets. I probably wont survive as a beggar.

You dont understand, I have no strength for anything, I have been smoking myself into the ground, I will soon be a cancer patient, but not really a patient since to be a patient, you need to pay. I will be able to perform reiki on myself tho. Hope its not also bullshit like the rest of it.

So it's up to me, there is no God that can help. Not that I deserve help, maybe I'm in hell anyway. I will just breathe and see what happens. TBH by now I would be very surprised if I don't have cancer, so even if I get money my life is over. All this stressing out, smoking thousands of cancer sticks. It's time to face the music

Only if some of you is a millionaire and doesn't mind to "gofundme" out of this, but Im not getting my hopes up. I've given one guy some big money before to pay his rent and survive when he was in trouble and I had spare, but I think the general consensus is not to help others financially not to mess with their karma or something. Let people figure it out on their own I guess and fight with their fates

And if someone says that money will not make me happy, oh dear... Money brings me peace, because I wouldnt need to worry about where the next meal will come from. Now one of the best case scenarios is the end of the world to come. Clear the canvas and start over, this Earth was a shitty project. I'm sure God can do better. But perhaps its not God in power here, but Satan. Makes more sense. Satan is the one that rules over here, and God is just an emptiness which is both there and not there and allows Satan to exist and rule. But since God is emptiness, it cannot do shit, it can only observe and allow things LMAO. Ok

If God is all powerful, here right now and knows everything, then he/you/me is sadistic. It knows what I want to be happy and purposely not allowing it.

Thanks for this. Will update if things get better.

I do not have the will and determination, I am in the wrong place and the wrong time. I'm in the hands of luck if not God.

Then why not experience not-suffering? Surely I cant have experienced everything if I don't experience not suffering. It's just a shit idea that I am God. There are infinite scenarios that would not include suffering, so there could be an infinite exploration of those, excluding anything shitty like what I am currently experiencing. The math just doesn't check out.

Smoking my last pack of cigs now, I can't eeven smoke myself to death now, because it costs money. Hoping to die in sleep and go to 10d or something, dont think I will need money in 10d.

I have no strength to apply for a job, I also live in a country which doesn't pay well. I wouldn't be able to pay my debts even if I get a job now. I had a good job, but now it's over. It's all up to crypto now, if I am God, but cant do anything.