Dodo

Welp I dreamt this night scenarios of lurking death.. Planes crashing from the skies. I heard people scream and point that one was coming towards us. I couldn't see it, but ran for my life with the rest. Ended up sitting in some sort of circular bench with roof (don't know the term in English), and we had to hold tight, as impact of the plane crashing almost swept us away. Later on I was in a plane and the pilot went to get my stuff leaving the airplane to fly by itself. I thought there was autopilot, but in the end we ended up in the underground somehow. ? Also visited a place which was very familiar somehow... I cannot even explain. I cried at how familiar it is. Interesting dreams. Prepping me for the big D.

By doing nothing, my finances will not take care of themselves. I am making my mother sad. She is wrapped up in story and pulling me with her. Still, Am I supposed to make my mother sad? This doesn't feel spiritual at all. I feel like a cold and incapable fool that is "wasting his life" to find a non existing truth. I will pray...

How do I get past the need to survive? Who is the one that wants to survive? What is all the struggle of the one that wants to survive for? Should I just lay down and die, since I'm already dead? Who is there to give effort? This bodymind is extremely flawed. This bodymind does not really fit with society. This bodymind is placed between a rock and a hard place. Enlightenment is the only option and is a matter of urgency for this bodymind. This bodymind doesn't have any idea what awakening is and why it is called spiritual. Self-enquiry is my favourite thing... I am mad? mu

I know, Memory and Power of Now, doesn't seem to mix . But this is something that I cannot explain. It feels like I've had an enlightenment experience without knowing maybe after I first read The Power of Now. As you might know, I am Ekhart's biggest fan and "The Power of Now" junkie. I have this memory of finding myself on the edge of a huge waterfall about to die and somehow this memory is directly linked to the practice of the spiritual methods of Ekhart which he describes in the book. Is this perhaps symbolic of Ego death? Did I perhaps experience Ego death in my dreams for a new one to pop in undetected? Or maybe I was about to experience Ego death, but pussied out?? Oh I just want to point out, that I couldn't do anything about it, it was a done deal, so maybe I didn't pussy out . It was a done deal, I was going to get sucked in whether I like it or not. Has anyone else experienced something like that. Also with this memory, I can remember that I was also very shocked to connect one of the most peaceful books and one of the most peaceful spiritual teachers with an action event like that, which felt like the actual end of the world. Hmm... Ramble ramble

Can't have an experience of nothing... It's like the eyes looping round and seeing themselves ;d Sam is close, he's like glue between science and spirituality

"You no more control the next thing you think, than the next thing I say" - Sam Harris This quote has stuck with me, love me some Sam Harris, he introduced me to meditation

Because you already were even before you started? :))

The OP MUST be using sarcasm. Joke's on us

That's good, being aware of nothingness, nice

I read a book on "rational reading" that trains one to read quicker and as you said, this is one of the main techniques. Also, not going backwards with the eyes to read a word again. @Shin does your tongue also make mini movements as you read? As if trying to say the words? I usually make sure that my tongue is nice and relaxed as tongue is linked to our thoughts.

I have noticed when my mind goes elsewhere and not on what im reading. Like in meditation when im trying to read nothingness ? I only notice that I have been daydreaming instead of paying attention quite late sometimes

Origin of life is the truth I was after before starting spirituality. I ended up at "something to do with the moon and the ocean waves". ? But now I see this question as irrelevant, but who am I to say what is relevant. ?

IF you're subscribed to the religion of past, future and matter, then Darwinian model is a good explanation. If you see the truth of awareness and the eternal now, perhaps it's just a story explaining illusion. The truth about something that is false perhaps is not that important and is even adding to the solidity of the illusion.

Imagine how your bodymind would look to yourself. Perhaps :"The enlightened shitfaced ponderer". Did you look in the mirror?

? ? Quite accurate based on what I hear

You've done the first and most important step - you're showing interest in turning inwards or at least interested in helping yourself. Perhaps become ocd about following your breath. Train yourself to transfer all your attention on breathing whenever you're near or on an episode or any time really. I'm not an expert, but in my mind, if your mind is busy noticing the breath (which is also a type of meditation btw), it won't have the possibility to maintain the other patterns and they will dissolve by themselves with practice. I myself am ocd about breath you can say, but I think it's a good thing to compulsively breathe ? Breath is a tool we all have. Use it to drown the distractions. Lastly, be more interested in finding out who is having these experiences rather than placing your attention on the experiences completely. Do not be hard on yourself.

It's more plausible that it's all a story in the mind. Wait, what if gravity is Love and Hawking is right.

Many take it that they are not the body as another belief at first. I even see it as one of the biggest traps. The mind will be confused. The only way to know this truth is to stop believing in the matter paradigm which most people are subscribed to. What you are saying is only true if one has realised that their experience of the world is all there is and there isn't a world of form outside of mind. Hell even I haven't transcended this illusion completely its super hard. So I think when most of us say we are not the body, this is just because we believe this thought more than we believe the other (that we are the body). So if we prove it intellectually, that's still not enough somehow. The process of disidentification is gradual imo. The bodymind has been the subject far too long for this realisation to be instant. Idk, just some mindgasms over here don't read

This voice speaks truth. If you can't see something it does not mean it is not there. Words are just words yes, but everything is vibration, even words. It's exactly what emptiness would say if it could speak btw.... Perhaps it could be the same voice Neil Walsch supposedly talked with in his book Conversations with God. Try to reconnect.

You could also accept and surrender to the escape

If you're in prison, why not escape

Yeah and maybe asking yourself who is meditating more often if you haven't yet @Simon Håkansson

To me being addicted to meditation is like being addicted to water. Some things are ok ???✌