Optimal_Prime

good at what, pick up?

don't accept answers on this question that hasn't become wildly successful at what they chose to pursue. You'll get a variety of answers from the non-successful, but one clear answer from people who accomplished what they wanted to: mentors were essential.

IQ is not misleading. IQ is idolized. Put on a pedestal. We equate "IQ" with "Success" It's not. It's just the ability to do puzzles. Speaks nothing of emotional regulation or connection, ambition, or personality. It's not IQ that's misleading, it's the stories we tell ourselves about it that is.

The One Thing The Power Of Habit Cal Newport's Books... Deep work and if that interested you immensely after reading, Digital Minimalism Chris Bailey has a good book on Hyperfocus I feel like those are good books for modern productivity demands in the scattered digital age. If you want productivity and have a schedule and pursuit that allows you to spend long chunks of uninterrupted time to dedicate towards mastery, and just need to develop the focus/willpower/inspiration to do so, then I'd recommend... The Talent Code And just generally look for books dedicated to Mastery. This isn't exactly my situation. You could also look at "productivity" from the "recover from dopamine burnout/adhd/procrastination" lens, in which case ... The Procrastination Equation Attention Span - Gloria Mark The Anxious Generation Finally, if you'd like to enhance your brainpower via meditation, a guide on focus meditation as direct to the literal buddhist instructions of 2500 years ago leading to Jhanas (peak states), but modernized in writing and delivery, would be... Focused and Fearless by Shaila Catherine, or just use this resource for a more esoteric but much more direct instruction.... A manual on Respiration

I would check out subliminals for self-development resources along this vein. I've had pretty life-changing results with them. Mainly running subliminals, I found that I started gaining motivation and eventually success in business. Naturally, I thought perhaps that was just my natural inclination. I started to become a real fan and lose all my skepticism when I started to apply subliminals to developing other areas of my consciousness. When I started developing my sales skills, improvements were slow without subliminals, but once I paired that with a sales subliminal, I saw my close rate and income skyrocket. When I ran a sexual-pleasure enhancing subliminal, after a few months, the non-ejaculatory orgasms I had would shake my whole body and I'd need a minute to recover from them (before immediately being able to go for round 2 as I hadn't actually ejaculated). And i've since tested out the other categories and have seen great results. I've even had to avoid subliminals relating to attracting women because I'm in a relationship - and having women attracted to me caused problems in my relationships, obviously. By far the best of the bunch is subliminalclub.com, but there are a few other good producers out there. STAY AWAY FROM YOUTUBE SUBLIMINALS, you never know WTF is in there.

what's stage green?

I think the girl decides whether or not she thinks the behavior is socially calibrated, and if she thinks it's socially calibrated, she'll think you're socially attractive. meanwhile, only you get to decide what YOUR definition of social calibration is. if you believe that you're acting in a socially calibrated way, and she doesn't, there's two options. Either, A) you have no idea what social calibration is and you're wrong, or B) She's not a fit for your authentic self and you should just say "oh well her loss, not my type, she'll find someone right for her and i'll find someone right for me."

I'm 29. I enrolled in one university class to see if I liked it. I paid about $600 CAD for all the tuition etc. I get to taste what it's like coming back to school, being on campus, socializing, having volunteer/recreational opportunities open up for me because I have a student ID, and I get to experience what it's like to be an adult and yet hang out with people a little yonger than me, and I get to experience what it's like to have deadlines and exam/performance pressure again. I'm very glad I took one class to test this out. I am not sure whether or not it's a fit for me to go back to a full time program and student-life yet, but, instead of fantasizing in my head about what it MIGHT be like, I took action and went and found out through my own direct experience, which means when I do decide whether or not it's right for me, it'll be based on reality, and i'll make the right decision. But I'm doing this because I'm considering dropping a high paying corporate career to go back and start working with youth. I don't see you sticking it out if it's "just for fun" or because you don't have the motivation to learn on your own. You won't get to pick and choose what you want to learn. Even if you're not interested in it, you'll have to learn it anyways if you want to pass the class. ADHD people struggle much more in university than neurotypical individuals, so, if you're going to do it, have a reason that's worth putting up with the suffering for. Don't go to enjoy learning, go to accomplish something, even if it takes sacrifice to accomplish it. Or don't go. If you want to learn for learning's sake, considering joining a chess club, or a discussion group, or some interest-based club where you get to learn about what YOU'RE interested in (important for ADHD) on a pace that works for you, while still living your normal life. PS: if you want a bachelor's while working a full time job, it'll take more than 4 years. 4 years is how long it'll take for full time students. TBH it kinda just sounds like you're lost so you're thinking about doing something "normal" to pass the time.

@Rishabh R i think what @NoSelfSelf is trying to say is two-fold. One, he said that it's all about following yourself, and never getting a woman, meaning.... basically that success can't be defined by a specific number of women you sleep with, or specific external outcomes like how long it takes you to get a date, how long it takes you to sleep with a girl, how many girls per week/month/year/life you sleep with, or how you make women feel. The reason that's not a good metric to measure success is because any man can sacrifice his identity, his morals and values, his politics, his religion, his worldview, and his sense of peace and happiness, just to "get girls" aka meet those metrics of success. ie, if i tell you that having success with women means sleeping with one new girl every month, then, you can easily "meet" that need in a way that makes you unhappy, or sacrifices your value. You can sleep with ugly women just to have OTHER people (aka me) deem you successful with women. You could spend all day at the club, sacrificing the rest of your leisure time, just to meet that number, and you might not even like the club. So, by "following yourself" he means living in line with your true values, never sacrificing any of your values or preferences just to get female validation that you craved. I agree with that 100%, and we can absolutely incorporate that into a formula of "what does success with women mean." Success with women means having sexual/social interactions with women in a way that you enjoy, without compromising your values, integrity, happiness, etc. Then he said that "if she is earning you, you're succeeding" aka, you shouldn't chase women, she should chase you, which is a reference to being high status, being approached, I don't agree with that. Not as a hard and fast rule. That can be a preference, sure, but while some men want to be chased, some men want to do the chasing, and that's just personal preference. Some men would prefer to be the man in the room who turns heads when he walks into the room, and other men might prefer to be the man in the room who seems fairly normal on the surface, but his ideal seduction-style would be being able to get any specific girl he wants with a high degree of accuracy - not ALL girls, but ANY girl. Maybe he's picky, and wants the girls he wants, and doesn't want a random girl to chase him, but he only wants to invest time into his dream girl - and once he locates her he'll let her know (in a sductive way) that she is his top choice, and is willing to chase for a bit, but will always win her over in the end. But what I would say is that you can loop seduction style preferences (chasing vs being chased) back into the first point. Success with women means having the interactions YOU want to have, in a way where you don't compromise anything you're not willing to compromise on. Last point, to your comment on whether the success is JUST doing the approach vs going all the way to finish line with a girl... First of all, if you're doing cold approach, or even social circle game, you will ALWAYS experience some rejection, so, NOBODY should ever set a goal of "not getting rejected." That's unrealistic. At the same time, if you're always getting rejected, that's obviously not SUCCESS WITH WOMEN either. However, that could be PERSONAL success... if you were afraid of talking to girls at all last year, and now you're 5-10x more comfortable approaching, that's a huge PERSONAL win. It doesn't mean success with women YET, but it's a step in that direction, and more importantly, it's setting a goal and accomplishing it, which is the only way to get anything you want in life and weren't born with. Neither "just talking to girls" nor "not getting rejected" means that you're successful with women. Especially because you could easily only talk to girls or try to sleep with girls who you don't find AMAZING (aka, you could compromise on your standards). Ultimately, the way I define success with women for myself is simple. I evaluate my CURRENT relationships with women (as a whole, not just sexually, but also in reference to female friends) and ask myself one question: AM I HAPPY? I might be a normal guy. Not a pick up artist. Not able to walk up to girls and do same day lays. Not able to get ANY girl I want. But if I'm currently in a state where I'm sexually satisfied on a physical level (having sex at a frequency/quality I like) and on an emotional level (having sex with people I like as people), then I'd consider myself to be experiencing success with women AT THAT PRESENT MOMENT. And am I experiencing success with women in a way where I'm not compromising success in other areas of my life? Ultimately, success with women is NOT as important to me as success in other areas of my life, so I can only experience success with women if/when other areas of my life are also feeling like they're ideal (or at least, progressing towards ideal) and I'm inviting women to join me in living that ideal life. That's what matters to me.