Optimal_Prime

better on acid than mushrooms for sure. Acid retains a sense of control and lets ou engage with the environment in novel ways.

doesn't sound like a passion sounds like a pain point that you're passionate about solving because it's caused you pain, problems, embarassments, rejection, etc. It's not your passion. But you could work on it. This idea of wanting to become "world class" is just classic scarcity mentality overcompensation. Why not just improve your social skills? And instead of going and doing that you're posting online anonymously about why you can't.

being desperate for the simultaneous validation of multiple women is exhausting, yes. if you can date without worrying about the other person and only about yourself and your happiness, you have no limits, and dating multiple people is fine. Pick up that results in getting a monogamous relationship is for noobs. Real pick up is building a lifestyle where you have 5-10 friends with benefits, each of whom you see a couple times a year, or in short sprints that come and go, but aren't jeopardized when they are on an "off" phase. Sometimes pick up is the art of sleeping with women a few times, then becoming their friend, then meeting their friends through social circle. Rarely, if ever, is the goal of pick up to enter a monogamous relationship in which you are no longer allowed to do pick up. Not until you find the girl that is going to be your wife, if you want a wife, that is.

Right.... because whenever I post about resources that I can study or learn from, it's because I want to justify my existing state instead of striving for my ideal state. I only meditate to justify my distraction. I only exercise to justify my flabby body. I go to university to justify being a N.E.E.T., I only ask girls out on dates to justify that I'm not in a relationship. I only hang out with my friends to justify how lonely I am. No interest in change. None whatsoever. And DEFINITELY no interest in a proven or reputable approach to accomplish any of those goals. Nope, just "dreaming it." I think I'll take your advice and just "dream up" that I'm no longer depressed and suicidal and stop seeing my therapist. Also, I'll just "dream" that women love me and want to go out on dates with me in lieu of the harder work of talking to them. Your way sounds much more pleasant. This was the icing on the cake that made me really think your response was full of narcissistic snide misrepresenting itself as value.... well... that and the grammar.

love cults. hope you're only half joking.

A friend of mine brought up, half jokingly, the idea of asking for a 1-2 year break so that I can go and "live the life" i'm fantasizing about. 1) I don't think the relationship would survive that. I'm nonchalant about marriage but she's very much a die-hard, traditional-christian-viewpoint type of girl when it comes to all aspects of relationships and marriage, re: loyalty, commitment, etc. She's not actually christian herself, just influenced by that. If I "leave" that breaks the sanctity of the container. 2) But let's just take it as a thought experiment for a second. I don't know if that's what I really want. Give me a year or two where I go and have a bunch of sex and then feel "ready" to get married all of a sudden? I don't think so. It's also telling that an open relationship wouldn't satisfy the itch EVEN IF I was the only one who got the hall-pass. I do feel tied down. I'm now in a situation where if I want to leave my city or switch careers, it would likely mean the end of my relationship. Perhaps i'm searching for freedom when thinking about pickup as compensation.

I appreciate it. You gave me a lot to think on. I was viewing it from the lens of impulsiveness. In a way, getting married is like an admission that I'll never get to derive the fruits of status. She claims the spot as the girl of my dreams. Yet just because I have the girl of my dreams, doesn't mean I don't still want to experience that which is reserved for high status men. And, admittedly, just because she's the girl of my dreams, it doesn't mean that having "the girl of my dreams" was ever a #1 priority in my life. If I wanted to get married, have kids, live the rest of my life content with having bagged my dream woman, then boom... she's it. But I still see gorgeous women and plan my approach. I still get job offers overseas and imagine dating foreign women while working abroad making a killing getting paid USD in cheap countries. I still Place self-value on whether or not I am the guy that takes home the hottest girl in the room, and so long as I'm in a relationship, I won't be taking the hottest girl in the room here. "Won't" because of my relationship gets interpreted by my brain as "can't" because I'm not good enough - old recurring scripting from my teens and early 20's coming back to haunt me,

What are considered to be the most helpful psychedelic practices towards those goals?

You lack boundaries. She does not control your use. You do. She is a witness to your life and a participant in your journey, not the conductor. You must continue to act in your best interests. By allowing her to forbid your psychedelic use, you're setting the precedent that you will do actions that make you happy, and not do actions that make her unhappy, regardless of how you feel about them. Do you want that life for yourself? A life where you've grown to resent your partner as the woman who stops you from living your fullest, best life? it makes me sick when people drop ultimatums in relationships. It's manipulative. Why does something so silly matter more than your relationship? She doesn't seem to value it THAT much if a little bit of psychedelic exploration would make her instantly ok with the thought of losing you. Or, maybe she's not OK with the idea of it, and just thinks that you fear losing her so much that she can threaten to leave as a way to make you change. Again, manipulative, and she is treating you as weak. You might actually be weak. Or she might be trying to make you weak. I can't say. Further more, I find myself nearly FURIOUS that you've been being gaslit into beilieving YOU have done anything wrong here. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE JEOPARDIZING YOUR RELATIONSHIP? Why did you take psychedelics? To pursue momentary pleasures that are meaningless and come with a high risk of death, simply to feel momentary bliss? No... not with the psychedelics you've chosen. You chose those to grow as a person, as a man, as a man in relationship, as a man in this floating mass of subatomic particles, didn't you? I believe you did. Your "drug use" is being mislabeled. One, you don't have a history of "drug use" you "used a drug, twice." Second, you weren't "dishonest" at all. You told her about the experience the first time. That is undoubtedly HONEST, especially since you knew she wasn't the biggest fan of the psychedelics, so, you were brave in telling her something instead of protecting her from the truth. The second time, again, there was no dishonesty, you simply ACTED WITHOUT FEAR OF NEEDING PERMISSION, and then you HONESTLY informed her that you had taken something when asked. if you are getting punished for living without fear of needing permission... well... that's not a good life. If you're being accused of jeopordizing the relationship, you're being gaslit. The only person jeopardizing anything is your partner by attempting to control. threaten, and create ultimatums. So, to answer question 1, I think staying in a relationship primarily for sex will lead to what you're experiencing. And it's okay to enjoy having sex with soeone and staying with them for a while, but that'll come to a natural end once you have to choose between having a good sex life or having a good life. You should always choose a good life over a good sex life. To answer question 2,3,4... all of those questions are asked from the frame of making yourself smaller to please someone else at the cost of your full authentic expression of consciousness. That's not OK. 2) You have to prioritize your personal commitments ahead of your relationship commitments. 3) Rebuilding trust needs to start with you firmly setting boundaries about what you will do, not compromising on what you will do, and being the man and therefore creating a container of trust and safety where even though you will live in ways she may not always agree with, she has nothing to fear. 4) Said 1000 times here but the only problematic approach to relationships I see here is letting someone else dictate what you should do, and giving into fear of ultimatums. If someone gave me an ultimatum i would immediately break up with them even if it was an ultimatum to not do something I didn't want to do. Ultimatums are a sign that the relationship, in her eyes, is one-sided, and that she can and will leave you the moment you don't meet her expectations.

if she thought a youtube link was a hack, imagine what she'd think if you two were in a relationship and you got a call from an unknown number and didn't answer it. She'll think it's your mistresss, calling you for a booty call, and that you didn't answer because you weren't alone. Girl was crazy. Move on.

I'd say rather than help me build, she provided an emotional relationship of safety from which I built, independently. What she helped me build up was emotional fortitude. Confidence. A better social life. And as my first super-successful relationship, a lot of healing that there's not something wrong with me.

Last reply on a journal was in august. Are these journals pretty much dead?

Switched therapists, the session was conducted while I was out for a walk, talking to her on the phone. I really enjoy that format, works well for me. This is the first time I talked to someone about how my parents fought with each other and the styles they used with me. I found myself getting quite angry while re-telling the power dynamics that were at play both between them and I and between the two of them. Had to reflect after on how some of the things that I said were rather emotionally driven and irrational. Nothing wrong with emotions driving speech - not in therapy anyways - it's actually an opportunity to see where the wound is still raw and easily triggered. Making a mind-map of all the things I learn in therapy and how they connect to each other, as time goes on.

Based on this and your previous thread I posted on. You'll find ALL the answers you're looking for within the content of Dan Koe.

wow, your victimhood is so justified, your company sounds like an evil corporation that's taking advantage of you /s