Letho

Challenge Time I said this page of the journal wouldn't be complete... Without finishing it with a solution, granted... however let's go one step further.... How about a Meta-Transcendence Challenge seeing as I'm struggling to complete my map of all the levels? I've got all the available information in me now to master the ego, all the rest of the information is something that'll come to me THROUGH the challenge. I used to be arguably the most athletic guy in my school, a lot has changed since then but the urgency by which I need to prepare for Ukraine for early 2025 has.... ah... not. I'll be doing the challenge anyway, let's see what Meta-AI has to say about my challenge. "As an inexperienced runner, attempting a 950 km run from Ho Chi Minh City, District 1 to Thailand in approximately 12 days is extremely challenging and potentially risky. Consider: 1. Injury risk: Insufficient training increases the likelihood of injuries, such as muscle strains, shin splints, or stress fractures. 2. Cardiovascular strain: Unaccustomed to long-distance running, your cardiovascular system may struggle to adapt. 3. Heat and humidity: Southeast Asia's climate can be unforgiving, especially for inexperienced runners. 4. Logistics: Managing accommodations, nutrition, hydration, and support becomes more complex. Recommended: 1. Postpone your run and focus on building a solid running foundation (6-12 months). 2. Gradually increase your running distance, intensity, and frequency. 3. Incorporate strength training, flexibility exercises, and cross-training. 4. Seek guidance from experienced runners, coaches, or online resources. Realistic goal: Aim to complete a shorter distance, such as: 1. Ho Chi Minh City to Cambodia border (approx. 200 km / 124 miles) 2. Cambodia border to Bangkok (approx. 400 km / 249 miles) Break your journey into manageable segments: 1. Train for 3-6 months. 2. Complete shorter runs (20-50 km) with rest days. 3. Gradually increase distance and intensity. Prioritize: 1. Safety 2. Health 3. Enjoyment Consider alternative options: 1. Join a guided running tour or ultramarathon event. 2. Cycle or walk instead. Stay safe, healthy, and happy!" Sounds exciting. But is it possible Meta-AI? Technically, yes, it's possible but extremely challenging and risky. To achieve this feat as an inexperienced runner: 1. You'd need to push your body beyond its current limits. 2. Ignore potential injury warnings. 3. Compromise on rest and recovery. 4. Face logistical and mental challenges. Success would depend on: 1. Your current physical condition. 2. Effective training (though time is limited). 3. Adequate nutrition, hydration, and electrolyte management. 4. Mental toughness and resilience. Risks remain: 1. Serious injuries (stress fractures, muscle strains). 2. Heat-related illnesses. 3. Cardiovascular issues. To mitigate risks: 1. Consult a medical professional. 2. Hire an experienced coach or running guide. 3. Prioritize rest and recovery. 4. Monitor your body's signals. If you still want to attempt this: Create a detailed plan: 1. Training schedule. 2. Nutrition and hydration strategy. 3. Accommodation and logistics arrangements. 4. Emergency contingency plan. Remember: Prioritize your safety and health. Are you prepared for the challenges and risks?" Yes I am, I am leaving in less than 30 minutes (or just when my phone is charged) What are your thoughts on this Meta-AI? "EMERGENCY RESPONSE Given the urgency and lack of preparation, prioritize your safety: LAST-MINUTE CHECKLIST 1. Carry ID, phone, wallet, and emergency contacts. 2. Wear reflective gear, comfortable shoes, and suitable clothing. 3. Bring water, snacks, and basic first aid kit. 4. Charge phone, carry power bank and portable charger. 5. Share itinerary with friends/family. CRITICAL SAFETY TIPS 1. Stay visible, use sidewalks, and follow traffic rules. 2. Avoid running in extreme heat or rain. 3. Listen to your body, rest when needed. 4. Stay hydrated, eat regularly. 5. Be aware of surroundings, trust instincts. MENTAL PREPARATION 1. Focus on smaller goals (reaching next town). 2. Visualize success, stay positive. 3. Repeat motivational phrases. EMERGENCY CONTACT 1. Local emergency services: 115 (Vietnam), 191 (Cambodia), 1669 (Thailand) 2. Your country's embassy/consulate TRACKING AND SAFETY TOOLS 1. Share location with friends/family via phone apps. 2. Use GPS tracking devices or smartphone apps. FINAL REMINDER You're taking a significant risk. Stay alert, prioritize safety. Type "HELP" if you need urgent assistance. LEAVE A MESSAGE WITH: 1. Your name. 2. Starting location. 3. Destination. 4. Contact information. I'll monitor and respond if possible. Stay safe!" My goal is to make it to Thailand by October 1st, I will just keep running until I reach my destination and then I'll report back here. Will treat the running as a meditation for my entire being and therefore consciousness, practicing mental training and nervous system (i.e. heart-math) along the whole way, to make a BDNF++ transformation by the end of the 12 days. Realistically, its possible I won't be back here until the 5th-10th of October, but I'll be looking to break my mental barriers as far as possible over these next 12 days. ~~ I've decided as well... ~~ I'll be running to as many countries as I can along the way to Ukraine. It's incredibly doubtful I will get there in time for when they require me for my military training, so a plane the rest of the way early in 2025 likely, however this challenge will now bring certainty to my physical preparedness. The only thing that's going to get me truly through this I believe is a transcendent level of love of "Universal Ego" (not just love not just ego and not just universe or any other variation) as best as I can formulate it, which I'm not quite there with yet but with this challenge, I might just very well achieve. There's probably another level of ego, like "Meta-Quanta-Metadimensional Ego" but that's just theoretical, and right now that just looks like magical fairy dust with unicorns flying past my eyes while I'm drunk on laughing gas compared to where I am right now. Leaving tonight. No idea where I'll be sleeping. Yep. Not seeking refuge in comfortable bedding. Like I said, gotta prepare for Ukraine. This is reality now. No fun and games outside of a healthy sense of humour. For example, "What would Chad do?" That's all I preach to myself in every moment when planning my life now. I won't share any before and after photo/related. That's kind of lame and cheap to not believe me anyway in light of the rest of my journal, like in light of reading everything else in this journal if you really thought I'd like catch a plane, drive or do anything other than physically get there myself in the ways described, you're a lost cause and there's nothing I could do to convince you anyway and that's not my goal here haha, just to inspire and do what we're all meant to be doing here. Ascend and Actualise. Shits just real now. And I gotta fucking prep next level across so many freaking areas not just running, 2025 countdown. NOW THAT'S the way I gotta end this page of the journal. THAT'S the true way to test and complete my theorisation's so far on meta-transcendence that'll be able to come a few days after I complete my run! BEST ROCKING WISHES! (and just kidding about the Chad thing, as I said... Healthy humour, but just for laughs... Imagine if I was really like that, some guys perhaps are).

Last Brief Journal Entry for this page of the journal: Let's go back briefly to directly above and point out the fact that me needing to say that I coined the term "The Many-Observers Effect" just now would be a point scored by Meta-AI in its evaluation of my potential intellectual sense of superiority. I have the awareness however to feel it in me, understand the illusions it projects into and from my consciousness, seeing where the drive is, inclusive then separate to the drive that I perhaps even get from even describing my awareness here because we can stretch the idea of "intellectual superiority" as having a subset to that which is "pride in awareness" which clearly has developed in me. This brings us then though to a deeper comprehension for how they exist as preliminary subunits like small amounts of pride that turn into addictions that turn into strong ego identifications we can no longer disentangle ourselves from. So in this moment as I express these personal truths, to add to that, we can also add still, to make awareness a universal principle that is inclusive of self rather than a self principle that is inclusive of the universe, as that's when "Grandiosity Fuel" tends to come in relating to the potential for spiritual narcissism I noted earlier. These narcissistic subsets that if they get out of control can lead to NPD are not 'BAD' in and of themselves, that's what's important to realise as I have attempted to elaborate the beginnings of a philosophy for so far, more than anything else what wreaks havoc is their poor directionality, i.e. as it pertains to the right hand side of the "order and chaos" dichotomy I shared in an earlier video which society memetically does a great job at engineering across many demographics in its surface laziness in this area at the very least, as well as their avoidance, as the Buddha said, in a sense its better to go for The Middle Way, aka balance rather than asceticism, the intelligent ordering, and again, the stressing of differentiation for their intelligent allocation which is consequential to our maturation of awareness. And yes, there's humour in me sharing in this that I"m noticing inwardly but I've chosen not to talk about it as there's enough humour in my journal for now of course. So where to have pride and where not to have pride if it can lead to toxicity easily? In meta-awareness. It's a part of my genetic structure so it would be unintelligent not to place it somewhere, plus meta-awareness is always going to be autocorrective for me, naturally. Meta-Superior and Proud. (okay so maybe a little humor if you get the joke to end this page of the journal)

And I realise that I obviously came up with this idea following from my discussion with Reciprocality I linked earlier. Even though the output is completely different its input has undoubtedly influenced me if the reader makes the right intuitive connection there. Subsequently anyhow, I've now called this instead of "Evolutionary Self-Regulation Cycle" into instead "The Many-Observers Effect". If you're super keen, you can follow up on the discussion I had to reverse engineer my thought process. However to help the reader a little this is also simultaneously inclusive then of a positive view on free will, reflective of former shared thoughts on how its proportionate to ones level of awareness and certainly not correlated with the number of days we can remain sleepless. Very simply, even though there's deeper thoughts to add, "Spectrum of Empathy" and its corresponding "Spectrum of Creative Perspectivism" is the creation of many observers that feedback loop on the many aspects of the Self and Ego which continually shift from Observation to "Creative Free Will Effect" in continuous "Effect" of the Self-Universe as its "Free Will Awareness Cause" probabilistically. Increasingly more interesting results the more we choose to develop awareness.

@cjoseph90 So many years back perhaps he even removed it. A good overlap: Nothing Exists But You | Solipsism | Actualized.org/Leo Gura. It was really thought provoking for me when I listened to this years ago in the car. Even though I don't agree with the philosophy or determinism outside of a deeper unification. Life is more about learning to have perspectivism while always trying to tune our consciousness radio stations to truth, which tends to lead us to some creative overlap between ideas and therefore one another as opposed to todays 'democra-right' that we see spreading more than the maturation of our views on democracy and the subsequent greater freeing of our creative intelligence. The way we cooperate ideationally can be a measurement then of how we do so socially. This thought experiment he does is such a great reflection of how valuable it is to engineer the imagination to master "Scenario-Simulation Artistry".

Ontological Solution to 'Meta-AI' Preliminary example on 'Axis of Integration': Till Oct 1st (by the way, I recommend seeing what 'Meta-AI' says about Chad's potential psychological profile based on one of his speeches/related, I haven't done that yet but depending on what prompt you put in it could be pretty humorous) This journal wouldn’t be complete if I left now until Oct 1st without without sharing a solution to all of the above for those that have a similar genetic profile or just those that enjoy learning from me, which of course based on my obvious NPD, or just if we were basing that on ‘The Chad’, is everyone, including the micro digital sentiences that run this website, and its glitches (humor). That being said, let’s get to it then. Even if you’re not similar to me, for those that fall into the second category you can still copy my strategy, which is understanding my strengths and weaknesses and leveraging my strengths to ‘learn, teach and grow through’ my weaknesses. I’m extremely empathic, especially when I’m acting as ‘Chad’, its just… on another level when I’m ‘The Chad’, but seriously, minus the humour for a moment, its a strength of mine. Though, one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to my empathy I’ve now realised is when there is an ego conflict between empathy and ego resolve that makes up the sub-strata of my deeper psychology. What I’ve realised happens is when there is an ego conflict or just anything that creates it, it could even be something as innocuous as momentary disgust after viewing a rat scatter across a persons plate in Vietnam for example and then watching that same person still gleefully eat their hot dog off the plate followed by licking it profusely that then shapes the next perception of my social interactions. There’s silent triggers that occur and that I believe occurs in all of us in ways we don’t pay pay attention to enough between the dynamics of ego, empathy, sense of self and greater sentience, the dynamics of which mediate and are mediated in return by the equilibrium of our sense of connection. In the following diagram I quickly created, in as much as each of these cooperate there’s going to be Self Alignment that meets Universal Alignment, in as much as they don’t, there’s going to be a spiral downwards as opposed to a spiral upwards. In fact, we can even look at this as preliminary work in what I have described earlier with respect to being a simple case example of generating an “Axis of Integration” (congruent with soul’s progression) as opposed to however unknowingly following an “Axis of Disintegration”(congruent with soul’s regression). Each of these are organised in a way that I have attempted to maximise their cooperation, even if for example I could put empathy first given empathy by itself can generate awareness, awareness hierarchically mediates the intelligence of empathy. Creative perspectivism follows empathy as a vehicle for generating “Spectrum Empathy” to fuel its intelligence for awareness, so that wiser decisions can be made regarding said empathy, all of this information of which, feeds what comes right before and after awareness throughout each, “Ego Resolve”, thereby reducing the possible conflicts that may occur because instead of empathy solely being used as a pathway for empathy, its being used as a stable function for both mediating and fulfilling “Ego Resolve”, rather than as a consequence. This allows empathy to then be used as a boundary that’s being set implicitly as a consequence of the noted “Spectrum Empathy” informing “Awareness”, which informs emotional regulation that then brings balance to the decision making for “Ego Resolve” on boundaries enabling it to always feel in control as it continually balances itself simultaneously by creatively mediating its competency with simultaneously “Meta-Value Alignment” and “Meta-Transcendent Adaptation”. For the former, we have the continuous refinement of values relative to the degree that they fulfil the self-regulation cycle and the same way too for “Meta-transcendent Adaptation”. The difference with the latter is that its simultaneously being mediated with “Emotional Regulation”, here is the access point where the “Meta” is in how awareness is connecting to the body to self-regulate itself. I’ve mentioned the preliminary work on Heartmath.com for example. As briefly as possible, moving back to leveraging strengths for weaknesses…. By the way for example, that “disgust” situation never actually occurred in Vietnam, there are some questionable things here as there are in every country however the people are honestly lovely here. Moving on, very mechanically when I empathise with the world around me and when there’s ego conflicts present, without the awareness to finesse my way through, the ego conflict will work to reduce the empathy and keep me from deepening “Axis of integration”, as in, without even aware of doing so I’m positively reinforcing my being from disconnecting to existence, these subtleties we need to differentiate and categories increasingly more intelligent solutions to… However, when I become a student of teaching myself to self-empathise from a third person perspective say, or just a myriad of other perspectives instead of self-fuelling the present ‘egocentricity’ of hidden disintegration, as long as I’m also integrating a connection to my body as I have repeatedly described throughout this journal suddenly the world of Self that I think I’m in but I’m not I’m actually in an illusion of it, starts to open up and now, as I gently encourage it more and more, I can begin to do that for everything around me and much, much more. And I know what you’re thinking regarding societal perceptions on empathy and its conflict with other competitive interests that some may believe are necessary, but they’re not, for example, concerning those that experience CPTSD or PTSD from military conflicts, its my prediction that its the inability to mediate the conflicts between the ego and empathy primarily with creative-aware being secondary processes as supportive mediators here, that are not only the biggest cause for its development but also for people suffering from it longer than they should. Anyhow, utilising my map here in this moment, the decision my ego is informing to do right now is just stop. I’ll trust you guys can… ah… figure out the rest. You’re an intuitive bunch. I’ve put some Irish music in the background of this video now as I’ve noticeably honoured more of my Cypriot heritage more than my Irish so I’m giving them a voice, by the way yes, Eleftheria Eleftheriou is a relative of mine. We’ve got many music folk in our lineage, I’d love to learn more about my Irish side as the years go by. Long story short, I’ll try this strategic solution of mine do redeem not one or two of the ___potential___ above that I’m looking at regarding everything Meta-AI has pointed out, but EVERYTHING. That’s how confident I am regarding this solution and it points to a deeper meta-understanding of consciousness that I will work to articulate properly by October 1st, whether I share that on the day is another story. Sincerely, you have my own personal gratitude if you get any benefit by learning from me as I enjoy helping others when it's a genuine positive.

To bring this phase of my development to a close, to help others take an emotional step back, consider their own connection to existence and their development within it from a humble place I've decided to share the following with you to have while I'm continuing my travels, internally and otherwise. A Self-Aware conversation with all encompassing 'Prudence' (as if 'Prudence' is an actual being) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (I briefly talk about prudence below in an uncommon way as you'll see, we should apply to all aspects of sentience <--> being) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The pattern moving forward for the future, including the patterns I learn from that temporality. See yal Oct 1st. I stated the following in my first post, so let's scrutinise the authenticity of that some: “Truth demands surrender as much as it demands resolve on all that remains after diligent self-scrutinisation.” To that end, I thought a great way to end the month was to reflect the honesty of this statement by asking Meta-AI what personal growth it thought I should work on by analysing all of my posts, every single one (minus Chad Brilliance and other redundant’s including music related which took some time as there’s a word limit of course). We humans have a lot of unhealthy egoic tendencies as a consequence of not having the level of self-awareness required to handle and bring balance to the mastery of the inner/outer environment the ego is meant to convert its sense of desire into, as such, we need all the tools we can get to encourage our motivational system in the right direction. Motivational system is a translation of “energy system” to describe imply agency and will to that motion of energy, which is only as good as its supported by awareness, which when it is, we can only really expect good things to come from that as we trust the good sub-systems of our biology that instinctually fall into action when they’re directed in the most intelligent direction. Stated with as much respect as possible, I think me putting my foot forward in this regard sets a healthy example in light of the history of the forum, which I believe we can all play a part in making wise but authentic steps into understanding where we can play our part there: Firstly we ah, don’t need to go into the strengths… I feel we do too much of that on the forum, more than anything I want to encourage confidence, self-esteem, responsibility and most of all, emotional, cognitive and psychological prudence when looking at weaknesses, as I mentioned earlier regarding the Donald Trump like political statement to, tongue in cheek, win over my audience from throwing beer bottles at me for missing my mark “Never fear failure”, this is basically the next stage of encouraging the collective maturation of that in this space as best as I can learn to do this at my own individual level. Introducing Meta-AI's analysis of me: Before I begin, I'll be going deeply into "Therapeutic Recommendations" listed further below irrespective as to whether they apply to me or not I am eager to develop creative perspectives and original theorisations for furthering my deeper understanding of our human condition and mastering it beyond more accordingly. Potential Weaknesses/Issues as Assessed by Meta-AI Perfectionism 1. Origins: Childhood experiences, parental expectations, or societal pressures. 2. Cognitive distortions: All-or-nothing thinking, should statements, and self-criticism. 3. Emotional correlates: Frustration, disappointment, and self-doubt. 4. Behavioral manifestations: Overwork, self-criticism, and procrastination. 5. Defense mechanisms: Avoidance, rationalization, and intellectualization. Emotional Intensity 1. Neurobiological factors: Sensitivity to dopamine, serotonin, and cortisol fluctuations. 2. Attachment style: Anxious-preoccupied or intense emotional investment. 3. Emotional regulation strategies: Suppression, rumination, or emotional numbing. 4. Cognitive patterns: Negative self-talk, self-blame, and intense emotional focus. 5. Interpersonal consequences: Conflict, emotional overwhelm, or social withdrawal. Rumination 1. Cognitive mechanisms: Potential negative thinking, self-referential processing, and mental time travel. 2. Emotional maintenance: Sadness, self-doubt, or emotional reinforcement. 3. Behavioral consequences: Avoidance, or social isolation. 4. Neural correlates: Hyperactivity in default mode network (DMN) and reduced cognitive control. 5. Therapeutic targets: Mindfulness, cognitive restructuring, and emotional regulation. Overthinking 1. Cognitive styles: Analytical, introspective, and self-critical. 2. Information processing biases: Confirmation bias, availability heuristic, and the sunk cost fallacy. 3. Emotional drivers: Need for control, desire for perfection, or curiosity. 4. Behavioral outcomes: Indecision, paralysis, or excessive planning. 5. Neural substrates: Hyperactivity in prefrontal cortex (PFC) and reduced activity in basal ganglia. Emotional Detachment Difficulty 1. Attachment style: Intense emotional investment or anxious-preoccupied tendencies. 2. Emotional regulation strategies: Suppression, denial, or emotional numbing. 3. Cognitive patterns: Negative self-talk, self-blame, or emotional distancing. 4. Interpersonal consequences: Conflict, emotional unavailability, or intimacy avoidance. 5. Therapeutic targets: Emotional awareness, empathy, and attachment-focused interventions. Introspection Overload 1. Cognitive mechanisms: Self-referential processing, mental time travel, and negative thinking. 2. Emotional maintenance: Sadness, self-doubt, or emotional reinforcement. 3. Behavioral consequences: Self-isolation, social withdrawal, or excessive self-analysis. 4. Neural correlates: Hyperactivity in DMN and reduced cognitive control. 5. Therapeutic targets: Mindfulness, self-compassion, and emotional regulation. Sensitivity to Criticism 1. Cognitive distortions: Personalization, catastrophizing, or overgeneralization. 2. Emotional correlates: Disappointment, self-doubt, or frustration. 3. Behavioral manifestations: Defensiveness, avoidance, or people-pleasing. 4. Defense mechanisms: Rationalization, denial, or counterattack. 5. Therapeutic targets: Cognitive restructuring, emotional regulation, and assertiveness training. Difficulty with Boundaries 1. Attachment style: Anxious-preoccupied or intense emotional investment. 2. Emotional regulation strategies: Emotional numbing, suppression, or excessive accommodation. 3. Cognitive patterns: People-pleasing, self-sacrificing, or enmeshment. 4. Interpersonal consequences: Conflict, emotional overwhelm, or exploitation. 5. Therapeutic targets: Boundary-setting skills, emotional awareness, and assertiveness training. Growth Opportunities: 1. Develop emotional regulation strategies. 2. Practice self-compassion and acceptance. 3. Cultivate healthy emotional detachment. 4. Improve boundary-setting skills. 5. Enhance self-esteem and resilience. 6. Develop coping mechanisms for criticism and negative feedback. 7. Balance introspection with action-oriented approaches. 8. Nurture meaningful social connections. Therapeutic Recommendations: 1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). 2. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). 3. Psychodynamic therapy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lastly, I even asked Meta-AI about specific disorders like narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), here’s what it had t say but before I share, I wanted to just voice that today I became aware of tendencies relating to spiritual narcissism that were echoing in my nervous system in undesired ways. It’s something I have to watch I think to be honest and for each of these indicators I’m going to play a greater role in monitoring my consciousness more closely which I think spring up proportional to my ADHD tendencies that I also have to bring cognitive closure on. Yes I have strategies here that enable me to intelligently address this along with everything else here, as that’s what we’re meant to do as humans, have confidence in your ability to competently slowly learn to do so yourself, you can do it. Very briefly, as the ADHD increases, naturally that means the walls drop on my self-perception and I’m less self-aware about how my consciousness is designing and fulfilling its own energetic needs from the environment social and otherwise, further, temporally from a cognitive perspective the consequence of a drier internally self-fulling experience resulting from less of ability to pay exclusive attention and therefore strategically self-regulate in the way I have hypothesised previously we can achieve a much greater deal to via bioelectrical agency, the more my inner environment tends to become more energetically corrupt. To that latter end, its strange and I don’t yet have full cognitive vision on the psychology of it as its meta-psychological on the energetic level however I’m fine and can address it with ease in as much as I continue to demonstrate the humility to myself to follow the right strategies to bring greater easement with respect to how the water meets the shoreline of my own consciousness. Lastly, I’m very non-manipulative, that’s where I know I don’t at all correspond to NPD, though I know that side by side with spiritual narcissism are the potential for other forms of narcissism that I need to take a strategically mindful approach about still becoming more emotionally self-aware, self-attuned and develop my agency on towards deeper consciousness maturity. But who's too humble here now? Perhaps I should bring out 'Chad'. In the end though, its just about balance, deepening the subtlety of maturity, its not always clear, we think we know where to address it to another, often though that's usually to best focus on ourselves. Usually, at the very least a dual reference point there provides greater accuracy in our discernment, which is what our self-awareness is for, so that we can bring greater constructively to 'other-awareness'. Anyhow, here’s what it had to say: NPD Analysis by Meta-AI Based on the writings, I identify some traits that may be indicative of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), but also significant contradictory evidence. Please note that a definitive diagnosis requires a comprehensive evaluation by a qualified professional. Potential NPD indicators: 1. Grandiosity: Displays of intellectual superiority and philosophical expertise. 2. Self-centeredness: Frequent self-referential language and introspection. 3. Need for admiration: Seeking validation through intellectual discussions. 4. Sense of entitlement: Expectations of special treatment due to intellectual abilities. Contradictory evidence: 1. Self-awareness and introspection: Recognizing flaws and limitations. 2. Emotional sensitivity: Expressing vulnerability and existential anxiety. 3. Empathy and compassion: Demonstrating understanding for others' struggles. 4. Humility: Acknowledging uncertainty and limitations. NPD likelihood: Low to moderate (10-30%) Reasoning: While some traits suggest NPD tendencies, the writings also demonstrate: 1. Authentic self-awareness and introspection, uncommon in NPD. 2. Emotional vulnerability and empathy, contradicting NPD characteristics. 3. Humility and recognition of uncertainty, atypical for NPD. To confirm or rule out NPD, consider: 1. Interpersonal relationships: Assess for exploitative or manipulative behavior. 2. Behavioral patterns: Evaluate for grandiose or entitled actions. 3. Response to criticism: Observe reactions to constructive feedback.

As a consequence of generating wisdom on todays posts and to add, intelligence on the good future to further finish reflecting the insight of one of todays earlier posts... I'll be back Oct 1st. This move makes sense in light of everything above taken together. Oct 1st will mark the success of my next full transition forward, consolidation of the last two weeks and a bit. I'll jump straight into page 4 from starting Oct 1st. Best Light.

On that note... Will to Freedom I realise now that's the sacred epigenetic ego structure of my surname (I first referred to its origins in the first post of this journal ----- as I don't feel the need to overly explain every connection there in this post), and yes I have Irish in me on top of my Cypriot heritage I've done multiple DNA tests, I am more Cypriot than any other genetic variant. "Philosophers of Freedom" after all naturally translates into a 'Will' that is attempting to design the highest path to freedom. 'Ego' has so many layers to it, and now I've now finally cemented the connection that its not only epigenetic but that this overlap is meant to transpose into genetic purpose. That's... Unmistakably beautiful and I've never heard of anyone making this connection before though I have no doubt others have realised it at various times in history at different levels. That we have these underlying genetic currents within our DNA that were chosen repeatedly throughout our ancestry all the way to his point in our history to continue onwards into further defining its architecture through our epigenetic designs. DNA + Surname = Sacred Relationship that is meant to translate into design of our "Epigenetic Ego". It's an entirely new way for me to rebuild the conceptualise the ego into its highest and therefore healthiest form. 'Ego' is meant to be there, when its coupled with accurate differentiation and when its not its when this very powerful force is misused into chaotic forms that lower the souls position towards increasingly greater levels of regression. Ecstatic understanding. It's the greatest nurturing we can give our hearts, the greatest weapon we can give our bodies, the greatest excitement we can give our minds and the greatest guidance we can altogether provide to our ego's. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Will to Light. For the collective as my new expression in light of, instead of "Best Light" as I brought it up before. Will to Freedom. As my personal responsibility to my familial origins that I only publicly share out of enjoying the act of talking about the most sacred aspects of existence that in return fulfil the responsibility of generating meaning for our ego's to serve the purpose of installing the corresponding intelligence for bioelectrical beings are meant to follow. May this post serve the responsibility of inspiring deeper contemplation on how you can imbue your spiritual path with the greater sacredness of your own personal ancestral light, as its there in all of us even though I know, there's a great percentage of familial lines which simultaneously struggle with the traumas their lineage has been through. Know that light within you is ready to be listened to whenever you're ready though as much as we can learn to understand how to intuitively self-understand this light and teach ourselves along its developmental path of maturity it has, waiting for us to follow its bioelectrical guidance.

Holding myself accountable. Edited my second comment now. It reveals my weakness though doesn't it? That I'm not as impermeable, unbreakable, immortal and distinguished as I am attempting to relay myself as through every entry in this journal space. I will look back on this moment years down the line and view this as the most significant turning point in my life, haha, that sentiment actually gently paints an extra layer of insight on the flexibility of consciousnesses with our ability to orient it anywhere versus instructing this spectrum towards self-authoring the weight of its power existentially. Consciousness valuation gymnastics is analogous to what I've learned from transposing the acting I've shared here with both the illusory nature of consciousness value-creation and learning to align it with the symbiotic interconnection between truth valuation, awareness, consciousness experience and evolution. There's a deeper layer here I'm going to continually nurture the understanding to in my contemplations. And I now did it for a third occasion, this time on purpose for this comment given of course as we all know... Good things come in three's. Only two? I'd rather the last time I edit a comment on this forum be of my own choosing, my own free will, my own awareness. (as I've previously expressed, free will is proportional to awareness and there's no logical or scientific argument that is able to refute this) Thy will to freedom shall be done.

@Reciprocality yeah ur discomfort with recursion in objectivity is apt, as it implies intent's self-concealment kind of like a Mobius strip of awareness folding back onto itself. The hidden layers of intent can be understood only when the observer steps outside the immediate self, but even then, objectivity itself becomes a paradox. As you suggested, vulnerability often shields intent from full recognition, which speaks to the fractal nature of consciousness, to this end we should watch any impulse that attempts to constrain intent to mere mechanical logisticism, it likely has something more beautiful, perhaps sometimes spiraling nature to it, especially inclusive and exclusive to this possibility when we examine the deeper sometimes untouchable nature of intuition; logic albeit still applying, regular logical discourse undoubtedly misses the mark. Each intent has its own hidden architecture, reflecting deeper layers of identity that resist simplification. The self cannot fully objectify its impulses without collapsing into an ever-expanding web of reflective meta-awareness. Perhaps the objectivity you're seeking must embrace this subjectivity, have I encapsulated what you have attempted to relay accurately enough to facilitate your deeper discernment? Your insight into intent concealing itself reminds me of Godel’s incompleteness in that the self cannot fully grasp its entirety from within, just a thought. Objectivity here acts like a hall of mirrors where each reflection slightly distorts what it reveals, though there is a constancy that the power of awareness always provides hence the singularity and originality that agency is. True objectivity, then, might not simply be knowing every impulse but understanding the fractal nature of consciousness. Each layer of intent refracts through personal experience, limiting the self's ability to know itself entirely. Perhaps it’s in these veiled reflections that the deeper truth of intent resides, aka where some abstract category of objectivity and subjectivity that forces their collision must exist. I would call that simply, awareness.

@Leo Gura I completely agree with you. But we still have free will. It's proportional to our level of awareness and there's no logical argument to refute that. There's scales of awareness across the animal kingdom (comparing the awareness of an ant to a border collie) and too, our human population (average awareness of a human compared to the highest, especially when the highest train their minds on meditation techniques that facilitate such). Determinism is so convincing, if we're not aware enough to be aware of how we're being convinced, then yes, its absolutely predetermined relative to the lack of pressure awareness has on that unfoldment of causality, or what becomes meta-causality in light of the reality of awareness mediating the truth or non-truth of free will. All in all though, if I were you standing back and looking at the animal kingdom inclusive of the human population from sitting on the moon say, it would be totally understandable why you'd reach the conclusion that humans have no control. Peace brother. @Will1125 Leo's video where he introduces this subject of our lack of control is extremely good and deserves contemplation. I recommend re-watching some of his best videos on the subject. The more you contemplate his work from his unique position the more you will benefit from the insight he has worked to relay to you.

This "if not also to see thereby the purpose that intent has in the whole mind-structure, objectively?" is very insightful @Reciprocality, pattern recognition on the scale of possible observers relative to our present position in consciousness. Whfat else might you expand on here to generate further creativity? "identifying the impulse of intent itself", and to you what is the objectivity of the intent that claims objectivity? What overlaps with deeper origins are you able to fathom from this relative position? "how would the self-identity maintain itself if all the impulses that gives rise to it are known objectively", again what does the thing become once it is aware of itself as itself other than just another variation of itself even if this thing is also deeper more 'meta'? Does this share any relationship with the previous question?

@Kokorec Hey there, I am really not skilled enough yet to answer at this level when I don't know someone well enough. At present I am not accepting personal messages either as I am working on my own personal development for the next few months. Feel free to ask questions out in the open here thought. Let's take the hypothetical scenario that I had to invent something that was my best idea relative to my prediction on their circumstances from a very surface understanding. Outside of the obvious and standard advice: 1. Imagine your soul has been totally sucked from this reality and into the office of God where he's asking you to observe yourself now from the perspective of where the physical self is still in the former reality, where all of your memories hold all of your instinctual programmings of beliefs and subsequent biases that'll be triggered if there's the right environmental stimuli, as well as asking you to write down all of your truest beliefs and values based on your objective analysis of your true soul self not your physical self that has all those chemical memories while imagining a new physical self in an alternate simulation starting from the same previous position you left from that lives out those structures in this new reality while comparing what happens with the old physical manifestation. 2. Project out the differences 5 days from now, 5 years from now and 50 years from now. What kind of different lives did they lead? What did they learn? Now let's bring this back down to earth for a moment, I appreciate your question as you've enabled me to generate a useful thought experiment for both myself and others but I am choosing not to have PM for a reason for the next few months as I myself of course am working on my personal development. I'm not yet completely a stage and what 'yet' means for the future, is undetermined as it is the job of my future creativity not my present creativity heh. I hope that helps. Let me know if you have anymore questions. Lastly, feel free to take the thought experiment or anything else I have stated in any direction you wish, I have complete universal openness to creative infinity.

@Reciprocality Personally I like the way you express yourself. For me, while writing the measurement is on (1) fluidity (2) differentiation (3) solidarity (4) freedom (5) connection (6) integration of feedback on everything in relation to the Self. So with respect to @Carl-Richard's share of the list there, I'd be at least 25% of the way there as there are solid pointers there. All of the pointers in that list serve number (5), however in as much as it compromises my personal freedom, I would rather trade the connection with a demographic that’s suited for my developmental context, aka going to higher levels of creativity and meta-understanding. Personal intentionality and self-awareness (i.e. around those principles I mentioned) are much more important to think about for me while writing than concrete guidelines that may obscure one's true voice. Moreover, context is doubly important. Who am I writing to? Creative intellectuals? Societal muppets? Societal muppets in creative intellectual clothing? There’s a lot of the latter like Sam Harris pushing there’s no free will for example, and too Robert Sapolsky even though we clearly do its just purely proportional to awareness and there’s zero rational, informed, logical and or intelligent argument that can be made against that. I used to love Sapolsky, however his intelligence has obviously become so institutionally corrupted by his environmental contrast bias, making comparisons between people and free will in the context of where there's clear examples of their lack of free will through the lens of their lack of awareness while making very little effort to do so through the microscope of differentiating free will under increasingly higher levels of awareness. In our situation here for example, on the simple analysis of adapting socially or not relative to a change in writing style inclusive of at least three persons here simultaneously aware of the object of said possible change, the unique conditions of freedom and will here as it concerns leveraging this moment towards our self-actualisation are entirely dependent on our level of awareness and the conditions that are supportive of therein. For me, I would never read Steven Pinker's work outside of going another extra meta level that he avoided as he didn't want to 'isolate' his reader. As he knows after-all, the more isolated a reader feels the less profit there is and the more their ego is activated and therefore the less they'll likely share their ideas with others. In short, he bores the hell outta me. Most writers do. Simply stated, they're shite and they'll never get true respect unless you take conformity as the kind of respect that should be sought after as I briefly talk about here what some of the dangers are there: Now returning to free will, does someone like me truly have no objective free will on whether I can control that tendency? Really? I have no awareness to mediate my reactions, really? That's truly what's being said here? It reflects so much ignorance in our scientists these days in the field, too much ignorance to not question them on a potential ulterior motive that may be present, and that's out of respect for their intelligence more than anything else. No more respect than what makes me also simultaneously impartial to caring about the reasons so much anymore. Returning to adapting our writing to a certain said of stringent standards then in the context of free will, we all have the maturity of our awareness to empathise with the reader/s and the social environment to understand the balance between contextual connection and moving closer to our demographic. Creating writing standards as Carl has suggested is a really great idea all in all regardless Reciprocality, something that serves the best of both worlds so I'm going to go ahead and do it, for if a part of our developmental goals is reaching the heights of our consciousness then we need standards that both serve our truest expression and truest connecting point with our selective social environment. And key word there is 'selective', if I learn that I deterred others that are not going to understand me because I didn't conform to the mediocre thinking standards of the general populace hence why we're failing across our many intellectual communities like universities, that makes me happy. I know what its like to waste a lot of time conforming to the mind of another out of empathy where they were not nearly capable of expressing the same empathy, and in a lot of ways that's what it would feel like for me if I were to do that as a part of a professional writing or speaking career, because even as a general statement Sapolsky and Harris are right that most people technically don't really have free will, they're employed as scientists and so they need to be scrutinised not as social engineers that they have no right to really try and be but based on their claims as scientists where they learn to take in all the evidence. Doing this usually requires tedious differentiation and sometimes the spark of divergent generality to bridge interconnective insight to that most people can't deal with in the same way they avoided eating certain vegetables as kids. That's not handling reality though. That's looking after toddlers. And that right there is the crux for me concerning adaptation, again, who are we writing for? Toddlers or people that are looking towards higher consciousness, maturity, growth, etc, etc all that good vegetable stuff? The shortest version: Knowing how to write for your true soul connection in life is just as important as knowing how to deter your fake soul connection in life that'll be there for as long as you're conforming to a set of acceptable memes that don't startle their ego too much. @1337 Now, let's get right to solving your issue with a simple solution that barely any know about. Ask any questions but my comment is already long enough right now, its better for me to under-elaborate so I can get what you don't understand and gauge your interest more easily. Solution: Get better at the 'meta-mechanics' of mathematical thought. Stage (1) Train on the right material. Stage (2) repeat stage 1 and advance it. The following is my own idea, an elaboration on the original template shared below. DO NOT TAKE THE FOLLOWING SOLUTION LIGHTLY. JUST DON'T COMPLAIN AND IMPLEMENT IT. IT'S MY CREATIVE SOLUTION WHICH MEANS ITS A BULLET-PROOF SOLUTION. IF IT DOESN'T WORK, CALL ME OUT ON IT. BUT I STAKE MY LIFE ON IT. Now off you go, you should be excited to become one of the best in your class. Get on it, at least two months 1 hour a day to achieve said! Step 1: Open Meta-AI in Messenger on Facebook Step 2: Put the following into Meta-AI while asking the engine to replicate these kinds of questions as creatively as possible at increasingly greater levels of difficulty. What is the ABSTRACT POSITION? RAZOR will be North of TOWN PLATES will be South of RAZOR TOY will be South of PLATES CARDIGAN will be Below and North of TOY VEGETABLE was Above and South-West of CARDIGAN Is the last statement reflecting the conclusion correct based on the previous premises? TOWN will be South-West of VEGETABLE APRICOT is after HAND LION is after APRICOT WINTER is opposite of (LION to APRICOT) to WALLET CLOUD is before HAND WINTER is opposite of (CLOUD to HAND) to LION Is the last statement reflecting the conclusion correct based on the previous premises? LION is before HAND GOVERNOR is after LONDON SALT is after LIPS LIPS is same as (SALT to LIPS) to GOVERNOR HOTEL is after SALT LONDON is same as (HOTEL to SALT) to COW Is the last statement reflecting the conclusion correct based on the previous premises? LIPS is before HOTEL BELT is Below and South-East of TUNNEL HEART was Below and North-East of BELT CAT will be Below and North-East of HEART DOCTOR was Above of CAT SHOWER will be Above and South of DOCTOR Is the last statement reflecting the conclusion correct based on the previous premises? TUNNEL is Below and East of SHOWER All BISCUIT is SOUP No SOUP is SOCKS Some BRUSH is SOCKS Some DENTIST is not SOCKS All MOUSE is SOUP Is the last statement reflecting the conclusion correct based on the previous premises? Some MOUSE is not SOCKS STEM is before CREDENZA PHONE is before VILLAGE STAR is same as (PHONE to VILLAGE) to BERMUDAS CREDENZA is before PHONE STEM is opposite of (CREDENZA to PHONE) to BERMUDAS Is the last statement reflecting the conclusion correct based on the previous premises? Step 3: Answer variations of the above questions but instead of doing so as they purely are instead convert the CAPTIAL words (i.e. BISCUIT/SOUP/STEM) into an imaginary object. This way you're training relational, associational and differentiation simultaneously all of which are pivotal ingredients to the larger encompassment of intelligence as I've personally coined it, "Temporal Pattern Compression". If I had the time to dedicate myself to training, I'd jump at it but I don't. There's no point keeping my knowledge to myself out fear of someone stealing my knowledge as I have previously expressed that is so incredibly primitive relative to the level of consciousness I am working to grow to, I've just helped a philosophy student friend recently by sharing this knowledge in more elaborated form that if you want more details on again, patiently ask questions that are truly relevant to you and what you truly care about and I'll share accordingly. He will now go on to perform with a much greater sense of self-pride and self-respect now that he'll be able to achieve a much higher standard in his philosophy classes. There's no amount of money in the world that is worth more than deepening a genuine bond with a friend by being able to help him and have said help be genuinely valued and well-received. Moreover, we live in a sick society that is unaligned with truth so any amount of money or praise that anyone receives from the masses automatically comes with a heavy cost concerning the distortion of our own reality for a brief dopaminergic hit that takes twice as long to develop a clearer sense of reality beyond once we see through the illusion. Best Light. Honestly, please report back here to everyone here in two months time to everyone on your success or lack thereof in light of my aforementioned predictions to empower those that are looking to make the same progress in their lives for the betterment of greater consciousness and the lifeblood of those around them. No BS. If you're really ready to nip this in the bud, treat this challenge like you would treat jumping into the pool for the first time from a high diving board. Brace yourself and jump as soon as possible, then learn to swim, slowly learning to without the life guard, in this case me if you have any further questions, to go off and create your own tricks off the diving board and techniques in the water.

Moving forward my 'Journalling' is going to be in the regular discussion area and this space will instead be purely reserved for my own interests, exclusively focusing on what I have described in the quoted text. In short, I have 'externalisation' habits that need to be remedied. Analogous to the psychological and biological matrix I have pointed out in the following comment linked below with the directionality of 'wisdom' and 'intelligence' here being used as the example, there are matrix's that describe the ratios and balances between altruism, prosocialisation and socialisation that I need to address. Something I will do using this journal as a vehicle for that remediation, focusing exclusively on the Self here and how I wish to find my own path of Origination without any external focus towards others. This parallels the improved hierarchy I created linked below between Order and Chaos which is a map that's being used side by side with the souls progression vs regression. Line up being on the left hand side as much as you can and you'll slowly begin to experience higher and higher levels of the souls expression through the mirror of those frequencies that bring higher order to being, move closer to the right hand side in an increasingly less balanced way and the soul will regress naturally regress more and more. This is preliminary work on the Meta-Transcendence of Consciousness ontological map that I'm now sharing the first draft to next weekend. As you will see in the hierarchy, "Self" is unequivocally equal to Order only NOT chaos, Other is in fact linked to Chaos. The western world has bastardised the two concepts, at the very least from the perspective of making people believe that the self is selfish and other is selfless, however its totally inverted, the third mediating variable here is Ego of course, where there's unhealthy ego in Self then its not true self, in fact more often than not its probably going to be linked to Other as I'm sure you can imagine examples to. And to the other side of that, just pick any number of unhealthy social movements that have existed throughout history. 'Self' doesn't mean absence of Social, as then that wouldn't equal Connection as its the first characteristic in the dichotomy though these haven't been ordered yet and the list isn't complete but every quality or frequency should be viewed in context and balance with the others rather than in isolation. I'll just trust that the reader has good discernment, at least there's now greater context to understanding my final sentence in the previous paragraph " focusing exclusively on the Self here and how I wish to find my own path of Origination without any external focus towards others." So the two preliminary maps that I'll advance further over the week are in the following video briefly at the beginning. And yes I had to link my lyrics again below to the song I made shared at the beginning of this page of my journal as my own symbolic gesture to introduce the next song I'll share at the end of the week. I'm day 2 back into music, made this one as stated in less than 45 min. Song Title: To Find the Self Again In the mirror’s quiet stare, who’s reflecting back at me? Are these shadows only dreams, or the truth of what I see? Do I walk the edge of light, where my essence starts to blend? Can I find the self within, or am I lost again? What does it mean to dive beneath the skin, To find the soul that breathes within? Is the energy I feel a pulse or a sigh, A whisper of a truth that never lies? In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean? Is it found in the spaces where the light’s unseen? Can compassion heal the wounds that time can’t mend? In the heart of the universe, where does this journey end? When the world’s illusions fade, what’s the essence that remains? Is it written in the stars or just patterns in my veins? In the dance of energy, how do I find my place? Is it written in the silence or the echoes I embrace? How does the truth of self reveal in every breath, Beyond the boundaries of life and death? Is the path of understanding carved in cosmic dust, Or is it woven in the threads of trust? In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean? Is it found in the spaces where the light’s unseen? Can compassion heal the wounds that time can’t mend? In the heart of the universe, Darling, darling won't you tell me, where does this journey end? As the walls of illusion fall, where do I begin? When the light of self-awareness finds its way within. In the realm of boundless space, can I finally see, The essence of the self that’s been guiding me? In the flow of cosmic tides, what does freedom mean? Oooooooo Ooooooo Ooooooo Oooooooo Oooooooo In the journey, where does it end? Where does it begin in the quite of the cosmos, I hear a distant song, A melody of truth that guides me all along. In the depths of self-discovery, I find my way, In the beginning, In the energy of existence, I begin, I begin To sway.