Man in the Mirror

thank you for sharing this thought, it is something i need to remind myself of every now and then.

There are many events that happen in life that are out of your control. There are people in your life that you can't control. There is only ONE thing you can control, and that is you. Work on your mind: work on how you respond to these people and events. When I look at the examples you gave us, the last sentences of each paragraph are very telling: try your best to forget your pride and put down your contempt. don't take things personally. Getting back at somebody won't improve the situation, but it can make it worse. When you get back at someone (vengeance mindset), you may think you're making the situation more fair, but really you are hurting yourself. because that person you just got back at will hate you for it, and her/his hating you is not good for you. therefore, if you get mad at someone and send them all your negative energy, that negative energy will find its way back to you somehow. you already know. when you start to feel those negative emotions coming up, take a deep breathe and try to control your emotions. realize that the thoughts you have in your mind aren't necessarily real or true, they are just mental events that may or may not be reality, depending on your action. you say you've been working on self improvement for a while so you probably already know this, just keeping working on it, it takes time and practice. maybe it doesnt feel right because in your moment of weakness, you made things worse than they had to be by getting back at them. maybe it doesn't feel right because inside you know you could've done better, or you didn't try your best. at least you know. we all feel weak sometimes, that is a reason we learn self improvement, so when we encounter similar situations in the future, we know what we shouldnt do, we know how to be stronger than last time. and that takes practice. so get out of bed, and go on those dates. face the challenges. get those experiences. you will learn.

I try not to directly tell my friends to try out self-help (even if I only had good intentions), because they might interpret that as me judging them and implying they have problems that they need to fix right now. Therefore, I think your first method is the best: leading by example. i am not an expert, but in my mind this is what i would personally respond the best to. When people change, it's because they wanted to change. Look at your own experience as an example. You made the realization that personal development was a worthy subject to spend your time and energy on. You recognized the lasting benefits. You did that on your own. You were ready at that time, and that's when you were able to take it on. Not everyone is ready for it yet. That's why I think leading by example is a great way to introduce it to them, without forcing it on them. When I see my friends I ask them what they've been up to, what they've been working on, etc. Then when they ask me the same, I could tell them about the self help ideas I've been trying to implement in my life, the books I've been reading, the things I learned from my last counseling session, etc. They might ask how I got into these things, and I'll tell them a couple reasons. Maybe it was "i have x y and z, but I was still unhappy, and wanted to figure out why", or "I didnt like how i used to always react to X a certain way, so i wanted to work on that", or simply "i wanted to improve my relationship with _____". Then they might identify with some of those reasons, or they might relate it to something in their life. They might see how you have grown. If they have the desire to grow, then they might begin to see the benefits of self help. I will then recommend books and videos only when they have shown interest in a certain area of self help. again, i'm not an expert. this might not produce the results as fast as you'd like. This is just my opinion of what I think i would respond best to.

the way your "friends" treat you sounds like a symptom of their own low self esteem, they feel the need to put you down to make them feel better about themselves. how do you usually respond in the moment when they say these things to you?

I noticed a huge improvement just by cutting coffee out of my diet, and drinking more water. The change was noticeable even after just one week.

Hello, first time posting here. I'm beginning to do affirmations every morning, and just had a question: How many affirmations could/should I be focusing on at one time? I have several small goals I'd like to reach first, and then eventually set higher goals. But I wasn't sure if trying to take on too many affirmations at once will dilute my focus. For example, I want to improve my diet and nutrition, save more money instead of spending it, and improve my communication and speaking skills--- so I use these affirmations: -I am a healthy eater -I am smart with my money -i am a good communicator Is it ok to be practicing multiple affirmations? Or should I only be focusing on one at a time? Also, if you have recommendations on how to make the wording of those affirmations more effective, i would greatly appreciate hearing them.