Man in the Mirror

i take notes in a google document or google spreadsheet. i find it very helpful, and allows me to remember important parts better. after i've finished the book, i have often referred back to my notes to refresh my memory. it's a good habit, in my opinion. try not to look at your stack of books next to you and worry about the future. be mindful and just focus fully on what you can get from the book you're reading right now.

bless a big first step is to take 100% full responsibility. this is not just for all the good or bad things that have happened in your life, but understand that you are also taking responsibility for all the future changes that could happen in your life.

stop hoping. start doing. think about what you value, whats important to you, think about who you want to be, and make some goals towards that vision. make goals you care about, goals that you can see bring you meaningful change. set different goals for the week, month, and year. short term, and long term. you already know your problems, so imagine what your life will be like few years down the line if you dont fix those problems. now imagine what your life will be like if you did change them. now its time to start learning what the solutions could be. you already know the problems, now figure out the solutions and go for it. remind yourself constantly about your goals so you dont lose your way. its not gonna be easy, but it will be worth it if you stick with it. good luck fam

what experience would you get from this? the experience of looking up a hooker, putting in zero courtship effort, engaging in the fakest kind of sex, and paying her? what benefit will this experience give you in the future when you're looking for a gf? how about when you do find a gf, and she asks about your history? are you going to tell her the truth about your first time, or lie about it? if the experience will cause you to be dishonest, it will do you more harm in actual relationships. and, there are plenty of girls in college who are virgins, assuming there aren't any is just silly every girl likes different things. romantic sex is all about learning what your partner likes. that could take some time and multiple tries but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Look at the other side of the coin. Escorts are professionals at what they do. Are you going to be disappointed if you find a girlfriend and learn she's not as good in bed as the hooker was? I hope not. Are you going to judge her, tell your friends how bad she was in bed, shame her and spread a bad reputation about her? I hope not. If she is a decent person who cares about you, she wouldn't do that to you either.

this is a great idea. i am planning to do the life purpose course eventually, but not right now, since i am currently working really hard on some self improvement things and worry i wont be able to commit to your group. hopefully when i am ready to start the course in the future, there will be others who will want to do a mastermind group like this as well.

yes, it is on Netflix, just watched it there recently. very good documentary.

having a threesome does not make you a man. especially in the circumstances you're describing.

this sounds like a book i should check out. i've realized that i have a history of being the pleaser/enabler in relationships, at the expense of my own happiness. i've read books about codependency to understand it better, but i'm still working on this part of myself.

i would like to try this to see what kind of results i experience, but never really know what mantra to repeat to myself.

agreed. reaching and being in that relationship phase will teach you more about yourself, and how to maintain the relationship, more than any book or resource can. experience is the best teacher. you just have to know what you want before you enter the relationship and stick to your values. try not to fear failure, you cant expect to be a perfect lover from the start. keep the growth mindset, learn from setbacks.

@Ajax i agree with @Will here, leaving her boyfriend for pixelwave wouldn't necessarily indicate a bad thing. it would be worse of her if she stayed in the relationship when she knows she could be happier somewhere else. she has to be true to herself first, not her boyfriend. This might not be a popular opinion, but it is one i've observed many many many times. when a girl is in a relationship she is not happy with, she will talk to other guys, maybe flirt a little but will keep it strictly friendship, to line up her options before she leaves the relationship. maybe she doesnt see a long term future with her current bf? anyway, pixelwave, no need to ask whether or not she will mind if you date others. and dont tell her about how you feel about the whole situation when she is still in a relationship. just go on those dates with other girls, even if you have a feeling they wont be as good as dates with her. keep yourself occupied. if she is interested in you, she will notice you haven't been seeing/talking to her as much, she will ask what you've been up to. you can tell her you went on some dates but they didnt do it for you, they were fun but you didnt see anything serious or longer-term coming from them. that will make her recognize you are a catch, a guy that girls are interested in, and she might realize "oh shoot, another girl might get him before i do, maybe i should do something about it sooner.." she might even ask you "then what are you looking for?". You already know your answer, you know, someone like her, but single. but yeah, go on those dates, and keep an open mind. Dont think about her when you are on those dates with others. who knows, you might meet a girl you like even more. it's totally possible.

-focus in on your desire to improve your self and your life. really really focus in on that desire. -make a mission statement. find Leo's video about mission statements, listen carefully, and make one for yourself. dont rush when making it. really think about it and make sure it truly aligns with what you want. and remember, mission statements can be changed in the future. the important thing is to have one now so you have a "map" for who you want to be right now. -learn the power of good daily routines/habits. it adds structure to your life. -make little goals each day, start small, but make sure you do it. eventually, increase it slowly. set short term goals and long term goals, and make sure your daily actions, habits, and routines are aligned with those goals. -Eat better, healthier foods, like leafy greens, fresh fruits. cut out junk food entirely. minimize fried food. what you eat greatly affects how you feel throughout the day, more than many people realize. -if you drink coffee or soda, stop the habit. it may be messing with your ability to sleep regularly. -try to regularly exercise or find a sport you enjoy. the activity of exercising relieves depression better than pills do. -continue working on meditation. it's perfectly normal for it to be challenging the first month. learn about mindfulness and how to practice it, you can do it even when you "can't focus" and even when you're "overthinking" -mute your social media. cut down TV time. Don't browse the internet or be on your phone/computer late at night. do something else during this time that is more beneficial to you, such as reading, meditating, exercising, or a creative hobby. try to read non-fiction and self improvement type of books. -let go of your need for control. release resistance. there are things in life you cant control anyway, so dont let it pull you down by constantly thinking about them and wishing things were different. this includes your own emotions. -learn about breathing exercises, take calm deep breaths, to help when you feel stressed or anxious. -stop jacking off everyday. im not saying stop entirely, just not every single day. learn some self control. -stop taking yourself so seriously.

in the Do Nothing technique, it is ok to let your mind wander with thoughts. let go of the urge to control your thoughts, dont resist. Just let everything be. Let your mind run without trying to control where it is going. Whenever you find yourself struggling, just watch it happening, and accept the moment.

@charlie2dogs , i can appreciate anytime somebody takes time out of their day to offer input to a discussion. You always offer really deep advice on consciousness/enlightenment in my opinion. However, I think what @Mal was trying to say in his last sentence is, this is the Life Purpose/Career sub-forum, so not everyone posting here is looking for an answer coming from an enlightenment point of view. While your words offer great insight, it doesn't effectively help the topic creator where he is at this point in his life, since he was just asking about how to make big goals and powerful affirmations for his situation. If the question was asked in the Consciousness/Enlightenment sub-forum or maybe the Self-Actualization sub-forum, your answer would've had much greater value to the person creating the topic. I understand you want to say what needs to be said, and I did try my best to understand what you said, but I just wanted to explain why someone in this sub-forum might be confused by a response about consciousness and the enlightened self. A lot of people come to Actualized.org simply because they just want to improve parts of their life, relationships, habits, etc since that is what 95% of Leo's videos are about. The knowledge and experience you shared was valuable to me though, so thank you. Peace.

i would also suggest learning about "codependency". Among the core characteristics of codependency, the most common theme is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and identity.

A friend was afraid of water her entire life, afraid to even put her face in the water. I didn't seen her for 2 months when she told me she recently learned to swim. Impressed, I asked her how she did it. This is how she explained it: "Quite frankly, I'm still afraid of water, but I wont let that get in the way of my growth. It always comes down to mindset. If your excuses are holding you back, change your mindset." i was so moved by what she said. i feel like it was even more powerful and relatable because it was said by a person who I knew, and not by a "famous" person.

Hey everyone, I first discovered Actualized.org on youtube when I was looking for some self-help videos, and over some time I ended up watching almost all of them. Topics such as healthy relationships, gratitude, meditation, ego, self image, law of attraction, happiness, mindfulness, higher and lower self, building positive habits, etc... I loved learning about every subject, figuring out the right way to integrate them into my life, and generally improving the quality of my life. However, there is one topic that Leo covers in multiple videos that I haven't dived into: Enlightenment. I've listened to the "All Religions Explained in One Video" episode when Leo talks about it for a while, so I kind of know about the general idea behind it-- the nothingness, being created by the conscious, etc. The subject interests me, but to be totally honest, I'm not sure if I am ready to fully learn about it yet. When I heard the "Intro to Enlightenment" episode, I turned it off before getting too into it, thinking to myself "whoa i don't know if this is the right thing for me right now" because I was already working on other parts of myself. I'm still working on those, and I know I will need to continue working on them for quite some time to reach my goals. I truly appreciate Actualized.org and the community for helping me learn more about myself. So naturally, I want to learn everything Actualized.org can teach me. But I'm not sure if learning about Enlightenment is what I need at this time, because it implies reality is radically different from how I understand it now. I worry i will feel conflicted, because everything I'm working on right now is for this reality as i currently understand it. Will I still care about my worldly goals after learning about enlightenment? i guess my question is, is it advised that people wait until they are pretty well actualized (better version of self, got life handled) before trying for enlightenment? But, if I work on self actualization and become my best self, wouldn't it be harder for me to reach enlightenment later because I will be so much happier with what I have at that point as an actualized person? Wouldn't my ego resist it even more at that point, to protect what it has?

if it was really just your first attempt, then try to remember that the benefits of meditation don't just come immediately, but if you practice it regularly then you will see a difference over time.

sometimes people like to talk down about others to make themselves feel better. it's a sign of their low self esteem but they dont realize it.

Before i started meditating, i preferred to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night. After i started meditating, i found myself naturally waking up about an hour earlier than usual.

i have not purchased it, but the product page says "Actual product is streamed digitally. DVDs are not shipped."

Have you tried a 30-day gratitude journal exercise? I learned about this practice from one of Leo's videos. In the beginning, I journaled about a lot of the more obvious things to be grateful for, but as the days went on, my mind started to think more of all the little things that we don't always take the time to appreciate. This daily mental exercise strengthens your mind to become more aware of such things. I'm on day 29 now, and I am noticing a gradual shift that is happening in my mentality. Lately, it's easier to wake up with a smile on my face. i don't even need an alarm clock anymore. i am learning to be grateful to wake up and be here.

33 wish i started personal development earlier. after i got a secure job 8 years ago, i've kind of just been coasting and not growing as much as i'd like. now here i am trying to elevate myself and it feels great to experience growth again.

Have you seen this video talk about "Facebook Ego" by Eckhart Tolle? it's only two minutes long and might provide another perspective for you.