Mellowmarsh

In my personal experience I think just knowing you are aware of being conscious is stressful whether one is working a job or not, it’s just stressful being conscious, period. Being conscious is far more stressful than say being unconscious because there’s no sense of self present in unconsciousness, there’s no knowledge of anything while unconscious. Could you just be addicted to the dopamine hit that nicotine gives you, and is why you choose to smoke? I smoke cigarettes like crazy these days, only because smoking gives me pleasure, I enjoy pleasure , of course, who doesn’t. . and I don’t seem to care if this pleasure is going kill me or do my body great harm, it might not kill me, I don’t know until I know. I’m presently in the mindset of not caring if I live or die, because I understand death to be the end of knowledge. I understand that as a self aware being, I’m going to die eventually anyway. I understand that death is the only certainty in life and I’m completely okay with that. In fact I’d be a terrible nervous wreck consumed with stress if death wasn’t a certainty. I can only imagine living forever to be the worst thing that could happen to me, living forever would be a curse more stressful than the thought of dying would. So I guess my tranquility is rooted in not caring whether I live or die. I don’t mind what happens.

@Adrian colby I’m not saying anything about loneliness. I’m talking about the recognition that one is alone. Yet it appears as the many, so every other one is alone too. The human being has been conditioned from birth to believe in division not wholeness. We’ve believed in the sense of division separateness, but can also see that division is illusory, in the context of intuitively knowing the every other one is alone too. Our conditioning from birth is to accept division as the only knowing we know, but then we can later on question this division through introspection only to discover this division is illusory and that there is only the one not the many. This requires a shift in perception of course, and not everyone chooses to make that shift. And for some that do, it can effect their sense of sanity in a very adverse way. Other people will feel the opposite where their sense of sanity is improved 10 fold. The recognition is to understand there’s only oneness, all one, alone. That oneness unity, is never lost sight of, because it is recognised as the truth of what we already are. This truth can feel like loneliness to some people, but again that feeling of loneliness is just another illusion, because how can an illusion be lonely, it cannot.

Same way a still wind becomes still.

When “something” is known - “nothing” is known in the exact same instant knowing arises, one with the knowing. One with, implies a there’s a duality present. The only thing known for absolute certain is that there is an awareness of being Aware, one with the knowing in the immediacy knowing arises. ( duality present ) Nothing else is known beyond the immediacy of this immediate aware presence. Everything else is linguistic aka thoughts, all of which are the illusion of maya.

All words are descriptive as “something known” in this conception, something is known, and this something knows nothing. That’s the illusion of duality known in the instant knowing arises, one with the knowing. One ( absolute ) - ( non dual ) cannot know itself without splitting into (knower and known ) ( subject and object ) duality. That’s the necessary illusion that must be for any “thing” to be known, albeit illusory, because “ things “ known , know nothing.

No one is denying this.

“The enlightened fool is the one who sees the ego trips of society and can still find joy and laughter in its midst. The fool is often the enlightened one, the one with crazy wisdom, with laughter and jokes as their weapon, they cut through the mundane conformity and bring to light the latent child like bliss bubbling just beneath the surface of all seriousness. The fool possesses a wisdom that is out of reach of the conformist. A playful attitude in touch with enormous amounts of creativity.“

I have often pondered the question “ Who or what am I “ because I felt separated from my surroundings, from other people, so that’s why I needed to find out what this separation means and if it was real or imaginary. So I thought about these things through many quiet moments of introspection, usually at night lying in bed before going to sleep, that seemed like the best time to begin deconstructing and unraveling myself back to its origin. So that I suppose was a kind of meditation. But I don’t meditate anymore, not now I understand the truth. The truth for me personally, is that reality is nondual. And that’s that really. Also, this nondual reality can only be expressed through a linguistic process just illustrates that the nondual is just another word for a solipsistic reality, imho. You’re welcome. ☺️

What do you mean, could you clarify, I’m not sure what you’re asking?

😂😂😂

Me to Myself: I tried to look at what’s looking. Myself: What did you see? Me: I don’t know, I couldn’t see for looking.

Me to Myself: Hey, I tried to show up to my own show once. Only to discover there was no room for me, so I left. Myself: Is that right? Me: No, it was left. Myself: Silly me.

I tried to show up to my own show once. Only to discover there was no space for me, so I left.

It’s never enough because infinity never completes.

There’s no confusion. It’s not a “ someone “ who knows. You already are the knowing that cannot be known. That’s solipsism.