John Charles

Have you ever measured your testosterone levels?

If I'm going to die anyways at some point, why make it happen earlier? why not stay in and enjoy the fantasy? What's the downside of this?

This last weekend I went on a 5-Meo-DMT retreat. I see now what enlightenment entails, my death, the end of everything as I know it. It's terrifying. When sleeping I wake up in that state sometimes and it's just scary as hell, this state of absolute not knowing. Now I'm telling myself that I don't want to awaken anymore, that I want to stay in the dream, stay living life. Please I want to hear your thoughts about this, anyone. Thank you.

https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/mental-models/ Something akin to the principle centered living talked about in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

https://youtu.be/0TxFaZ0K754?t=1h28m14s

Any tips on how to cure, or at least diminish it? It's distracting.

I'm in my third year in college, studying history. I think it's boring, and that it's making me less passionate about learning. I don't like time constraints, or being told what to do. I want to learn at my own pace, and not have to think about grades or parameters. I'm also distracted and stressed a lot by social life, generally by caring what other people think of me, particularly professors, trying to impress them and get validation. When I think of self teaching, I imagine my self focusing on one topic for at least a month or two, spending many hours each day (mayby 5-6) studying and aquiring a deep understanding of it, and being able to recall it easily, then moving on to another topic for another month (or shorter time if simpler topic, or less info...), and so on. I like focusing on one thing at a time. This is currently not the case. I think I can do better on my own, in part because I think I'll enjoy it more, but I'm not sure. I won't have the guidance I have from professors, or the motivation I get from the subtle competition with other students. I'll also have to provide myself with the necessary resources, which might be costly. There's a lot I haven't considered. Has anyone here self thought before? Any insights you could share?