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They definitely dont when it comes to attraction. Or the goodness has to blend with some other attractive quality. But pure character nahhh One of my friends is one of the nicest genuine guys I know with a beautiful fiance. but hes also 6'2, blonde, smart, and comes from a rich family.

A lot of women act this way. A lot of women assume men are inherently flawed, harmful, unaware, and problematic. They assume this to the point of jumping to conclusions about men. "So, the only option is to fruitless fight to be seen and hear... or just disengage and find another woman who isn't so bogged down in these narratives." - Yeah I find myself disengaging a lot within the dating realm. So many women are on the defensive constantly engaging in a giant feminist power struggle, because they assume that they are in a battle for their own equality, dignity and respect. And although they want to experience love and romance, they also see that man as an obstacle to their empowerment. And I find myself disengaging because I don't enjoy being the symbol of their imaginary battles.

What do you think caused this way of thinking to appear a decade ago?

It's not gender exclusive

I think character is more valuable in the long term. After being around a person for so long, having good character enforces the relationship going forward. But I would say it matters a lot less when initially attracting someone. Though I do find a sweet and kind woman very attractive.

Hey all, Just wanted to share some recent insights. Maybe you all have something to contribute/share too. I have moved to a new city a few months ago after getting laid off. My primary focus these past few months have been focused on my career and becoming financially stable again. Fortunately, I am finally starting to find my way with this, and it has allowed me to spend some time on my social life. One aspect of this I would like to focus on is dating. I went out with a girl who I met on a dating app. I had a great time. We laughed, played some board games at the brewery we went to, and I would be open to seeing her again. It was ultimately a positive experience. But I definitely notice that I have some shadows when it comes to dating, and I think it's part of the reason why I took almost a year off from it. These shadows are rooted in insecurity and self consciousness, as well as my frustrations with the state of the dating world and gender views. I am still processing how I feel, and what these shadows mean, but one thing that definitely stood out was how most women I meet seem to have a disdain towards the male gender in a general sense. To give an example of this, my date and I were talking to a woman at the brewery who was talking about how she named her dog 'Percy Jackson' (idk who that is) but didn't know about the bad things percy jackson did and was speaking in a nervous rushed tone about how shes such a feminist and her disdain for men (even though her boyfriend was the bartender lol). I tried petting her dog and he barked at me, so I was like oh well. As we continued on our date, we got on the subject of her dog and how I was disappointed that I couldn't pet him. And my date goes "Well thats probably because she was going off about how she hates men and now her dog is trained to hate them too" then she paused and said "But I hate men too" with a smile. I guess it was meant to be tongue in cheek? When she said that, it came off too me as slightly rude. And it reminds me of many women who I have met who are nice and friendly in practice, but will openly express their disdain towards men right in front of me as if I shouldn't feel any kind of way about it. And I notice that hearing this kind of bothers me. I understand it from a systematic perspective. So maybe in their minds they feel as if talking this way is okay and just, and I shouldn't take it personally. And maybe I shouldn't, but I don't think they would be to keen on me saying "Yeah I get it, I hate women myself!" (I dont hate women, thats just a hypothetical conversation). Hearing things like this feel off putting to me, and I often get the general feeling that women who don't know me assume the worse and see all men with a guilty until proven innocent kind of vibe. I notice that within the dating realm, I don't feel comfortable cold approaching in any aspect unless I am getting very clear signals for her to do so. I know ppl on her say cold approaching is the best way to talk to women, but I don't feel that way at all. I feel as if it is much easier to talk to and connect with women where we have more a mutual ground and general sense of their safety, like a friend group, social activity where we all are expected to be there, etc. My views on this and experience with it definitely contributes to one aspect of the shadows that I still feel when it comes to dating. I am not discrediting the plight and fear women feel in the world, but I have no harmful intentions towards women. I don't even care to rush into sex anymore, as I value being comfortable with women and having more of a connection, but I feel as if most women see men as people who are guilty until proven innocent, and it definitely gives me anxiety about being open with them or trying to hit on them/flirt with them if I feel like I would want to. I guess to summarize all this, I feel kind of frustrated that I get pigeon holed with all men even though I try to be a kind, caring, and respectful guy. It makes me feel insecure, paranoid about how I interact with women, and makes it hard to be this confident guy that people claim women are looking for. I also generally don't like being told how women hate men and I am just expected to take that as being fine and okay. If I am looking at this the wrong way or missing something, I am open to that, and adjusting my perspective. I just want to heal my shadows and feel okay with all this, and making dating as enjoyable as possible. Thanks all

I see a lot of people post pictures of them when they were kids on their profile. Or pictures of just their pets. Am I supposed to think thats cool? Oh and pictures of their own kids. Really fuckin weird to post pictures of your kids to strangers online.

I read none of this thread and jump straight to the last post. This post is hilarious with no context. I can't imagine having a conversation like this about this topic with some girl I know girl: hey so what do you see as the boundaries between friends and lovers? what makes you decide this? me: it depends on if I were hypothetically on a planet where everyone had alien consciousness and I decided to go black pill because I couldn't shape shift.

I also think it's weird how a lot of people have this energy of "she did this because of sexism, maybe people need to be less sexist", but they thought so lowly of the white males who committed the same actions and blamed it on their privilege.

I'm confused about all of this. Some people are saying she hated all men. People like Leo are sticking up for her calling her rightfully disgruntled. But then she praises male shooters, calls them saints, and also hates black people? She kind of sounds like a piece of shit to me.

I had a cute girl come up to me in the club, wrapped herself around my arm, and then went in for the kiss. We made out right then and there. Definitely wasn't repulsed at all.

I couldn't care less about the problems of beautiful women lol

I apologize. I'm just sick of libertarians who delude their greed as next level wisdom. The recent election has really put a bad taste in my mouth for that.

Op thought he was on to something lmao

1. I dont see him that way. One rule I keep on this journey is to never follow anyone 100% or see them as perfect. The whole purpose of my post in this thread is to deconstruct the pedestal that people put him on. 2. dont tell me what to do.

I agree. It confuses me how Leo seems to think he's on such a higher plane.

Exactly. His people were attempting bio terrorism too. I don't see how an awakened man can allow such things to happen.

Well clearly I have more to learn then, because that doesn't come off as higher being from my perspective.

Maybe the doc spun things a certain way, but he didn't come off very enlightened to me. He seemed to have a lot of corruption and attachments

I get that, but he doesn't seem very enlightened when he's so shook about that

osho seemed kind of like a fool with it in that wild wild country doc. he crashed out after his go to girl left him and was fuckin with drugs with some sketchy people. "dees bitch is mad i didnt make love to herrrr"

no please dont go, I need you

Thats the context for why my date said she hated men. She was talking to that girl. Read the story. That 'ugh' is my frustration with crowdsourcing to forums. I try to explain things with good detail and people still don't seem to understand.

Ugh, you don't even have the story right lol. I'm talking about the girl WHO I WAS ON A DATE WITH.