Quest

Could you link to the blog post?

With overheated markets and Trump winning the election, I'm seriously considering liquidating my portfolio and retreating to cash and gold. Looking for opinions.

@Lyubov Thanks for the suggestion. Claude is helping me work through the issue.

Meaning and purpose are the primary concern, but $$$ is also very important, given that money will be the key that allows me to continue building my life (i.e. reinvest into my purpose, therapy, travel, consultants, books, courses, trainers, nutritionists, retreats, etc.) Personal development is my highest passion. It's what enabled me to turn my life around. That's why I pursued coaching. Now that I know how to code, I could build a personal development platform/app. This is an idea I've had for a very long time, and it's also what makes me the most excited out of all the different options I'm considering. But again, it's the most risky, and I'm afraid of losing more money and more time if it doesn't work out. Ideally, I'd like to hedge my bets by generating more money in my career now, and then begin building this thing outside of work hours. I've been reviewing and refining my Me Sheet for years now. Here's the relevant info: Top values Wellbeing: The degree to which I have attained inner peace. Self-sufficiency/Personal Development: The capacity to produce exceptional results in all domains of life by utilizing internalized knowledge, wisdom, and skills. Goodness: The degree to which I embody virtue. Strength of character. Health/Vigor/Energy: Optimal functioning of the body and the mind. Connection: Sharing deep emotional bonds with my friends, family, and partner. Vibing with my fellow humans. Contribution/Impact: Enhancing the collective well-being of humanity. Direction/Purpose/Vision: Knowing what I want in life, having the plan to get there, and executing the plan. Fun: Having pleasurable experiences that enhance well-being. Acting silly, lighthearted, and playful. Freedom: Being able, generally speaking, to use my time as I please. Nature: Walking, hiking, exploring, and/or camping in a multitude of biomes. Top Five Strengths Love of learning: You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere, there is an opportunity to learn. Persistence and Tenacity: You finish what you start. You navigate hardship to reach your goals. Consistency and discipline are hallmarks of your approach to life. Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness: You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control. Ability to connect with others: You’re naturally inclined toward building relationships. People are drawn to you, and making friends and conversing with others comes naturally to you. Gratitude: You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks. Most meaningful impact Anything that helps people do personal development work. Helping people grow by becoming more self-sufficient, mature, wiser, cognitively developed, etc. Zone of genius It's funny, as I was writing this, I realized that health is truly a zone of genius for me. My lifestyle is very fine-tuned in terms of diet, sleep, exercise, meditation, etc. All of this is rooted in close to a decade of research and experimentation. I've kept my zone of genius blank for a long time, but I think I'm going to fill it in for now as: Health, wellness, and self-care. Funny how this also reflects the current industry I'm working in, and it directly expresses my top four values, especially values 1 and 4. Domain of Mastery Personal Development Ideal Medium I'm not entirely clear on this. Based on everything I've written, diet and exercise would be fitting. But I also enjoy (and am naturally strong at) writing. Also, if I were to create the personal development platform, coding and software would be the natural medium. What I'm taking away from all this is that building a health and wellness business centered around fitness would be a viable path forward. I've accumulated over three years of experience in the industry working as a group fitness instructor, which has allowed me to build some career capital. I also have lots of contacts in the fitness industry, many of whom either do personal training on the side, or have successful full time personal training businesses. I could see myself combining my fitness expertise and my coaching background to build a health and wellness biz. I would need to up my technical game for personal training - developing a deep understanding of proper biomechanics and form, as well as learning how to develop customized workout routines. I'd also want to get certified as a nutritionist so I could provide counsel on diet. At the same time, what about my coding? Would I have the time to build my gamified personal development platform on the side? Probably not. If I decide to go health and wellness, I'll need to dedicate 100% of my time and energy to get it off the ground. Also trying to code an online platform would spread me too thin. I also want to write. As I mentioned in the first post, I have a website that I'm really proud of. I could integrate that into either my health and wellness biz or my app, but I think that will come later. I really enjoy coding. I wouldn't have stuck with it for 10 months if I didn't. It would be cool if I could leverage it right now to get a job, but that's highly unlikely. At the very least, I'd need to spend a few months putting together a portfolio of 2-3 polished projects to present to employers. If it worked, I'd definitely increase my income and break into an industry that offers lots of room for growth and high-paying salaries. I could also use this as an opportunity to build V1.0 of my personal dev platform; it can be one of my portfolio projects. I could continue to work on it outside work hours if I broke into the tech field. Acquiring personal training clients could increase my income right now. Plus if I decide to pursue the health and wellness biz, that's tangible progress. As of now, it appears I'll either pursue my LP by building a health and wellness biz, or through software dev.

In a previous post, I talked about feeling stuck in my career. Has anybody here used career counselling to help them put together a plan and move forward? If so, did it help? Who did you hire?

Hey everyone. By all accounts, my life is going very well. I have lots of great friends, an amazing girlfriend, a fair net worth (roughly 160k with no debt), and I take amazing care of myself. That said, at the ripe old age of 30, I find myself at a crossroads, and honestly, I feel a little stuck. I currently work as a group fitness instructor making < 40k per year (my net worth is due to a gift I received from family). While I enjoy the work, it's not feasible long-term, given that it simply does not pay enough, nor does it provide the meaning and satisfaction that comes from living your life purpose (and ultimately, I intend to live my life purpose). I completed Leo's LPC. At first, I thought I'd be a life coach. I went through iPEC. I had some paying clients, but I didn't enjoy coaching very much. Between the curriculum, building my website, and coaching paying clients, I spent about 1.5 years pursuing it, but then quit. Then I decided I'd try coding. For the last 10 months, I've taught myself JavaScript, which I am now proficient at. The new plan was (and possibly still is): 1. Teach myself how to code (this part is done) 2. Build a portfolio of 2-3 well-polished projects 3. Begin job hunting, leveraging my many contacts in tech as a starting point for getting interviews. Getting a job in tech would mean bringing in more money, which I could then use to pay for therapy (the next big piece after I get my career put into place), further education, an all-organic diet, coaching and consultants, and other high-quality infrastructure to keep building my life. If, hypothetically, I were to break into software engineering, the move at that point would either be: 1. Continue learning new languages and skills outside of work hours, building up enough career capital to move into higher-paying roles. OR 2. Pursue a passion project that would be a powerful LP for me if it became a viable business. Basically, it would be a personal development platform/app. Now that I am familiar with JS, CSS, and HTML, I feel I can start building this. The thing is, I got burned with coaching - 15k down the drain for the program, plus an additional 5k down the drain for hiring a biz coach, plus two years of my life pursuing something that didn't pan out. I'm scared that will happen again, and the prospect of building skills and climbing within the tech space as an employee seems appealing after that experience. The thing is, the software development job market here in Canada (and in the US, from what I hear) is brutal. Grads with CS degrees are having trouble finding work. This is very disheartening, given that I'm a self-taught JS noobie. If they're having trouble, what chance do I have? There's a bootcamp company in the city where I live, and the government of Canada has partnered with them to cover the majority of the cost for their 12 week intensive cyber security program (it's usually 14k, but right now it's 3500). I thought this might be an easier way to break into the tech space, and then, if I want to pursue software development, I could make a lateral move from cyber security into software development. The thing is, the job market for cyber security is also brutal right now! Furthermore, people seem to poo-poo bootcamps, calling them bloated. And, from what I gather, cyber security isn't a field you just get into. You need years of IT experience to break into the cyber security space. If that's true, a 12 week bootcamp would be useless. plus I'd have to quit my job given the demands of the program, so not only would I be out 3500, I'd also be out 2k per month on a skeleton budget to keep paying my bills. When all's said and done, by the time I've completed the bootcamp, I'd be out 10k. which represents half my cash (the remainder of my portfolio is in VGRO). If the job market is as brutal as I think it is, and I don't have a job, how much longer after the program would I need to bleed cash before landing my first gig? I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. I spent my entire 20s cleaning up my life, and I've just about done it, except for the career piece. At 30, the idea of going back to school for years seems very unappealing to me. But if it proves to be the only way forward, I suppose I'll have no choice. This is my situation. I'm looking for guidance. Please help. Edit: One thing I forgot to mention is that I also have a bachelor's of psychology under my belt. I thought I was going to be a therapist in my early 20s. Another option is to get my masers in counselling and become a therapist. The issue there is that I didn't particularly care for coaching, so I'm not sure how much I'd enjoy being a therapist. Plus the financial and time commitment is very significant.

Thanks! Happy 30th

@Raphael More than I can count. That comes with the territory. 2 steps forward, 1 step back seems to be the nature of the work. I've experienced innumerable "failures" in every domain I've endeavored to grow in. All of them are important because they provide feedback about what's working and what isn't. You use that feedback to inform how to alter your approach. It's this iterative process that slowly shapes us into more capable human beings. Also, I think an important aspect of experiencing ego backlash is simply recognizing that it's happening and allowing it to occur. As far as I know, there's no way you "snap out" of a backlash. You just need to let it run its course and keep moving forward.

I recently celebrated my 30th birthday, and I wanted to reflect on the past decade. Here's a quick backstory to put all this into context: - I grew up the only child of a middle-upper-class family. - My father is an extremely abusive toxic stage red/orange narcissist. It made for a very unhappy childhood - lots of emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse directed toward me and my mother. - My mother is one of those people who was born to be a mom - warm, unconditionally loving, showed an unwavering belief in me even when I gave her no reason to suspect that I was going to flourish and prosper. Simply the best mom a son could ask for. - Parents separated when I was 8. It ended when two police officers came to the house and arrested my father for assaulting my mother. Saw the whole thing (the arrest) happen right in front of my eyes. - My mother and I moved from Toronto to Vancouver when I was 9 to get away from my father. I was too young to appreciate that my mom was trying to protect me. I saw it as her uprooting my life, so I hated her for it for many years. It didn't help that I found out by my father telling me that my mom was going to kidnap me and take me to Vancouver. Truly an awful experience. - The aftermath of the abuse, trauma, and move set me back academically, socially, and physically. Overweight. Mental health problems - depression, anxiety, OCD (inherited on my father's side), and, I suspect, ADHD (though never formally diagnosed). Lots of subtle addictions as a teenager - food, porn, marijuana, and video games. Complete underachiever hanging out with the wrong crowd. Started seriously considering suicide. Alright, so that's a very condensed recap of my childhood/adolescence. Here's what happened next: When I graduated from high school, my mother took me on vacation to Mexico, where I had something a spiritual experience, if you can call it that. I remember walking out of the hotel onto the resort grounds, looking up at the sky, and feeling this deep, intense knowing that I was going to live an extraordinary life. This was before I had any concept of personal growth or self-actualization. It was just a deep knowing, felt in my soul. I can't describe it in any way other than divine revelation. And for the record, I'm not religious. I was 17 at the time, and it wouldn't be until age 21 or 22 that I would discover the frameworks required to turn this revelation into reality. Fast forward to 21. I had just broken up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. It was a really unhealthy co-dependent relationship. We were both really neurotic and insecure, and we enabled each other's dysfunctional tendencies. At this point, I started to take my studies at the local community college more seriously, and I brought my grades up enough to get accepted to university. I broke up with my gf, packed my bags, and left town. It was during my university years that I would discover Leo's work - a discovery which would radically alter the trajectory of my life. At this point, things were a little better - my grades were improving, I was working out consistently 3 days/week, and I was cleaning up my diet. I also made strides with my addictions to porn, marijuana, and video games. Whereas before, these three things basically constituted my daily routine (no exaggeration. I was playing 5-8 hours of video games every day for years and smoking pot every day), they now became occasional indulgences. Still, issues persisted. My social skills were subpar. I sucked with girls (I only had a gf from 18-20 because she made the first move and we both had issues, which seemed to attract us to one another). I still suffered from mental health issues, especially my OCD. I suffered from a subtype of OCD called Pure Obsessional Disorder, which made my life a living hell at times. Anyway, being a horny 21 year old with subpar social skills and even weaker dating skills, I decided I wanted to get better with women. I found a company called Simple Pickup (do any of you guys remember them? They were hilarious!), joined their members group, and started watching all their videos. This is how I got into cold approach and, being in university, I was in right environment to hone my skills. I'm proud to say that every single date and romantic encounter I ever had in uni was done through cold approach. Never used the dating apps. This produced IMMENSE growth. Quick digression: I remember when I started cold approaching, I was so scared that the best I could do in the beginning was tell girls that the reason I was approaching them was to run a "social experiment" for class. Looking back, it makes me laugh, but hey, you gotta start somewhere! It was through pickup that I discovered actualized.org. Someone on the members group posted Leo's rant against the pickup community. As soon as I started watching, I knew I had found something (and someone) special. The depth of his analysis. The profundity of his insights. The wisdom. My heart resonated so deeply with this man's teachings. This opened Pandora's Box. Leo and actualized.org provided the frameworks, concepts, and teachings required to turn my revelation at 17 into reality. For the next decade (technically, 8 or 9 years), I would go on to study Leo's teachings, as well as the teachings of others - taking what I learned, contemplating it, putting as much of it as I could into practice, doing the hard labour (physical, intellectual, and emotional) to integrate the teachings. This slowly transformed my life from the inside out. Of course, there were lots of ups and downs. It wasn't a linear trajectory. But I took the notion of self-actualization very seriously. Over the last decade of doing the work, here's what I've accomplished: Social Life Whereas before I was awkward and anti-social, today I have a large group of amazing friends. For a long time, I struggled with the introversion/extroversion dichotomy, trying to figure out which one I was (I was very outgoing as a child, but quite withdrawn as a teen). For a long time, I rationalized that I was an introvert. But since overcoming my issues and my social anxiety, I've come to see that it was trauma and insecurity more so than introversion that was standing in my way. I've really come into my own as a social being, figuring out how to be authentic with others, becoming magnetic, and attracting awesome people into my life. This has been very rewarding. Love Life In the beginning, I SUCKED with women. I didn't have the faintest clue how dating, attraction, relationships, and masculinity worked. The pivotal moment for me was discovering Corey Wayne's work, which completely revolutionized my dating life. Today, I have an amazing girlfriend. We've been together for three years. It's a healthy relationship characterized by love, healthy communication, respect, kindness, fun, laughter, etc. I have a deep connection to my masculinity, too, whcih feels great. I'm receiving more female attention now than at any other time in my life, which also feels great! Also, big up to @Leo Gura for his videos on how to have amazing sex. Those videos completely revolutionized my sex life! Health and Fitness Whereas before, I was overweight, sedentary, and had a poor diet, today I'm in excellent shape. I work out four days a week (and have done so since my early 20s). I prepare all my food from scratch so I control what goes into my body. I eat as close to 100% organic as I can currently afford (will go 100% organic as soon as I increase my income). I don't drink. No drugs. No smoking. No vices. I treat my body like a temple. I am the healthiest person I know. Mental Health Whereas before my mental health was a constant source of pain, and sometimes anguish, today I enjoy excellent mental health. I went and saw a CBT therapist. This was a turning point for overcoming my OCD. This, coupled with a pair of articles titled "Thinking the Unthinkable" (or something along those lines) gave me the tools needed to extinguish my pure obsessional disorder. This took approx. 3-5 years to accomplish, and it was totally worth it. I still have OCD, and I'll likely have it in some form for the rest of my life, but these days it's confined to simply keeping things orderly, tidy, and organized. I've actually transposed my OCD into something that helps me! As for my depression and anxiety, they're basically non-existent at this point, given how well my life has been going for the past few years. This is all thanks to the personal development work I've done. Personal development + therapy = great mental health! Hobbies Daily guitar practice, hiking, exercise, cooking, archery. My hobbies add depth, richness, and enjoyment to my life. Career/LP This, and finances are what I'm currently working on. This is the next big piece. I've been working in the fitness industry as a group fitness instructor, which has given me the flexibility to figure this part of my life out. I bought and completed Leo's LPC, which helped orient me in the right direction. I've spent the last 10 months learning to code, and I will soon begin putting together a portfolio of projects so I can begin my job search. Over time, I intend to use my coding skills to build a personal development platform of my own. Finances My net worth is well into the six figures. For the last year to year and a half, I've dedicated a half hour each day to studying finance to learn how to build and manage wealth. Most of my money is invested in VGRO, a globally diversified ETF. The decision to invest this way was inspired by one of Leo's recommended books - It's Not About the Money. I have a nice emergency fund, and I'm putting away anywhere from $500-$1000 each month to invest. Once I bring up my salary, I intend to invest even more (as well as allocate $$$ to other things, like therapy, savings, vacation, seminars, coaches and consultants, courses, etc.). Right now my salary is limited because I've chosen to take reduced hours (and, of course, reduced pay) in order to explore and create a LP for myself. Spirituality 10 minutes of meditation each day. It isn't much, but I've done it every day since age 23 or so. I also do daily gratitude, which I've been doing since age 23 or so. I suspect the daily gratitude practice has had a profound impact on my happiness. At this point, my brain is wired to appreciate anything and everything in my life, which is a big happiness booster for sure. Serious spirituality will come once I have (a) sorted out my career/LP and (b) gone to therapy to work through the remainder of my childhood trauma and forgive my father. My relationship with my father At age 25, I finally made the decision to go no contact. It was very hard. Narcissists do this thing in relationships called "love bombing" where, after they abuse you, they shower you with love and affection. The dramatic shift from terror to relief creates a strong emotional reaction that produces something called a trauma bond, which is one of the reasons why it's so hard to leave an abusive relationship. Disowning my father was one of the best decisions I ever made for my mental and emotional health. I still have hatred in my heart toward him, and for this, I need a skilled therapist. As I mentioned, once I get my career in place, therapy is the next step. Current struggles 1. Getting my career off the ground. 2. Reconciling the love I have for my girlfriend with the desire to see other women. Plans for the future Once I've got my career off the ground, the next big step is therapy to forgive my father and work through my traumatic childhood. After that, my time will be spent on philosophy, spirituality, and becoming more well-read in various fields - science, politics, society, history, etc. The bottom line What do I take away from all this? Self-help works. People are capable of immense growth. The work can be extremely hard. And it's worth it. Thanks for reading! P.S. A big thank you to @Leo Gura for his work. It has truly transformed my life for the better. You have been my greatest teacher.

What resources would you recommend? I've purchased your book list. Can I find them there?

I see. Sounds a little fatalist. If you don't have the requisite intuition, good luck thinking clearly. Intuition aside, would you say this was achieved exclusively through contemplation? What other practices and resources would you recommend, if any?

How did you learn?