Unplugged
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I recently quit my job. I plan on writing a blog post or recording a video explaining, in detail, all aspects that led up to the decision. The short answer is this: You have two choices. 1) Quit 2) Stay. Since you are still working there, obviously you have decided to stay. However, indecisiveness is a key indicator of lower level consciousness. So you are rationalizing in your head CONSTANTLY on whether or not you are making the right decision. As a result, you are constantly on the edge of your "comfort level." The prospect of staying AND leaving makes you uncomfortable due to many factors that I won't get into now. From my perspective, I was in this back and forth phase for over 3 years. I got a new job and then after the 1 to 2 month "exciting phase" of a new experience, I become content, bored, etc. So I quit the job and got a new one (definition of "fake growth") Eventually, I got to the point where the prospect of "staying" made me more uncomfortable than "quitting," and that is what pushed me over the edge! However, this time, I quit for good! ("realer growth"). From reading what you have written, as brief as it is, I don't think you are at the point where quitting is the "higher consciousness" move. It seems like it is driven more by laziness and a "fantasy" you have created in your head on how your life will be after quitting. But I may be wrong. Only way to know is to take the time to take a DEEP DIVE into 1) why you want to quit 2) what will you do if you quit?
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I just completed the "Understanding Emotions Part 1" video and about halfway through, I had the oddest experience. It felt as if it was the first time I truly understood what Leo was saying. Before, I thought I had an idea and could visualize the person I could become, but the visualization was just a like a picture in my mind of my future self yet I couldn't "feel" how my future self would feel and couldn't "think" how my future self would think. Kind of like watching a complicated movie with no sound. From right after watching it about 15 minutes ago to now, the feeling has dissipated but I can still feel some strong reverberations. At the time of the "ah ha" moment, it felt like "the answer" was on the tip of my tongue. It was like I could "feel" how my future actualized self would feel and could think how my future actualized self would think, but not 100%. Continuing on the movie analogy above, if before, there was no sound, now, the volume is on low. But I realized that by consistently and persistently following the advice in the videos, I will be turning the "volume up" slowly over time. Can't wait to get up first thing tomorrow and re-watch the video, take detailed notes, and start taking action. I feel as if the "ah ha" moment was a glitch that allowed me to glimpse into the future, but I know that I cannot even comprehend what it would be like to become fully actualized. I "feel" as if I am more aware than I have ever been and the feeling is great. Can't wait to magnify the feeling and work my way towards enlightenment Note: I have listened to multiple podcasts Leo has done on Enlightenment, but know that I need to work on the foundational parts first before graduating to the big leagues. I wouldn't expect myself to perform well at a professional sport if I had the skills of a middle schooler because I would probably get really injured. So even though Enlightenment is the end goal, I am focusing on taking baby steps. I think is the right approach to take, but I am definitely open to some feed back! If you have gotten this far, I am very grateful for you reading and I hope you were able to follow along!
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