AION

It is insane how free and relaxed my consciousness is after nutting. I just broke my 3,5 month no fap streak and it was becoming insane and unbearable to the point it was becoming unhealthy. I tried Meditation: pranayama, premium squeeze while breathing (forgot the name of it) Breathign exercises: Wim Hof, Fire breath Fighting: boxing, wrestling etc dancing running But nothing was helping me. I was getting very aggressive and dominant. Constantly looking for fights. And talking to girls but girls don’t like you if you are fed up so lately not having success with that too. So finally I just busted a nut luckily without porn. Porn was my addiction so no going back to that under no circumstances but I was giving sexual transmutation a chance and it is not working. I just have a very high libido which is not good or bad. It is just what it is. I would like to hear some stories of people who are successfully practicing sexual transmutation because I really do believe in that. It gives you insane amount of stamina, mental power, will power and wisdom if you can transmute the energy well which is kundalini up. If you can’t transmute you can’t think straight and get mentally clouded.

If Trump was truly stage red he would already have ran down his own empire into the ground as people from that stage inevitably do.

Prostitution has a toll on the female body and soul. I heard from girls who worked in the business for a long time they can’t get orgasms anymore because they are worn out. And on the level of the soul the damage is even bigger. It should be heavily regulated and women should be vetted with multiple psychological tests before they get a permit.

Both the sun creates order in chaos in our solar system. It gives life. It is both beneficial as destructive. Being too close to it can hurt you and being too far away can freeze you. Both the sun and god is impersonal. Yes it gave life to you. Without it you wouldn’t exist. But at the same time if you step out of line it won’t come to save your ass. Both the sun and god is a force of nature. What do you guys think? I think most people project human attributes on god. I don’t think god cares about it. It will exist with you or without you. It just beams out warmth/love sun kissing you and if you don’t look out you can be killed by it if you don’t understand its nature. How most people treat god is like those goofs who speak to dogs like the dog understands human language. The dog doesn’t give a shit. It is just a biological organism with thousands of years of evolutionary conditioning.

It will become a black hole

Is this true? I hear a friend say this to me and I heard some masculinity coaches saying this. From my observations it is true. Especially in a regular relationship where the woman is seeking to start a family and needs a guy to provide and protect. Most women are hypergamous. So they want a guy to be better or higher up the social and economic chain. It is pure coincidence but I was talking to a salsa dancing friend and he said the same thing: if you want to make a chance with a girl you have to be the better dancer but that is out of the scope of this thread. It makes me think. Does love really exist? Modern relationships are based on value exchange. You basically have to have what the other person wants which is basically value exchange aka win win relationships. Unconditional love is not a real thing; only lack of options which people falsely characterize as love.

This song represents how I feel about my ex. When doing self inquiry during I noticed that I projected the perfect feminine ideal archetype onto my ex. But is was just a projection… She is just a human being who eats, breathes, shits and is full of bull like the rest of us. Or just as the prophet Lil Wayne said: ”you are all about her, and she is about hers” like in this song: It is fundamentally wrong to project the perfect feminine archetype on modern day women. We aren’t in the Victorian era. She just wants that lollipop (emotional fix). Her god is her emotion. So it is better to treat a girl as a you know what than to treat her as a queen. Lil Wayne’s understanding of women is on par. Romantics like Kanye West are not. Romantics are for men. Women have higher priorities in relationships.

A bad wing makes it worse. I got couple of wings who got jealous and just can’t vibe well.

Guys it is all in your head. If you make yourself believe that you have no sexuality your body will believe it too. If you believe you are a horny dog , your body will make extra hormones and you will become it. The same with enlightenment. If you believe you are alien consciousness, you will become it. If you believe you are a unicorn. You will become it. Even Leo believes in his own crap. It is just one big jester joke.

Obsidian is too gimmicky. If you aren’t Elon Musk type of guy you won’t need it. OneNote will do fine. I use Obsidian for my IT stuff. For regular stuff OneNote is much more accessible and useful.

I meditated on this topic and I found out that shame makes us wear personas (psychological clothes). To be shameless is to undress the personas others have forced us to wear. Or we ourselves made us wear.

Just stop judging yourself and be authentically yourself. Take your shirt off in public and don’t give a fuck. At first you will give fucks but after couple of times you will be just that dude with no shirt. There is no books on this. In the same way there are no books you can read which will make your muscles grow by itself. You have to find the thing you are ashamed for and just go into that cave. For example If you are ashamed about your age go tell random girls your age after a conversation If you are ashamed about your hairy chest show your hairy chest if you are ashamed about a particular past event, go tell people about it until you don’t feel the shame Probably your shame is around women. Just go to a hot girl and be your boring self or what ever. Just be “naked” and be shameless in how you truly are. Let go of personas. You don’t need to read a book or a course on this. This is the method. The only thing I could advice is to pop some MDMA if you care crippling social anxiety. MDMA turns down the survival brain and you can be yourself.

I just watched all the videos in the series. As far as I understand judgement is the root of all evil. One must stop judging ourselves and just be unconditionally ourselves aka shameless. It kind of makes sense. I know the good kind of fuck boy who is liked by girls and other people. They are liked because of the shameless - self love - they have. Compared that to a good guy who is full of shame wondering why he is not liked by girls. Shame is the dimming of your light. If one understands only god can judge, one can be truly himself and re-enter the garden of Eden.

That is the female equivalent of “not all men”. Of course “not all women” but there is truth to generalizations. For me the biggest lessons in this thread would be to let go of either / or. I still believe women are hypergamous but that is not the only thing pulling their strings. Truth is that survival instincts pull harder than love and connection. Love doesn’t pay the bills. So I do get girls in that sense.

Why did you have to create the exact same title as my thread ? Now I’m confused which thread is mine when I get a notification.

Thank you. I agree that I have chronic shame. It is also part of a pride culture of my parents. And pride and shame are connected. But the thing is giving yourself self love is like asking a poor guy to stop being poor. I don’t think people can love themselves in the secular sense. One needs to connect to god or something. And be given he or she can’t himself / herself. Shame is self consciousness. It is when Adam and Eve saw themselves being naked after the forbidden fruit which granted them self consciousness . It is the original sin. The price we paid for being self conscious and being our own gods.

Because he stole my thread title by replacing provider with life style : I guess he just wanted to steal some cloud or something because he could have just posted the OP in my thread. It is confusing for me too right now to have a duplicate.

I talked about what you told me with a female friend (she is helping me with this stuff). And from my experience women don’t ruminate on male shame. And she is not interested on ruminating on this topic. From the female perspective she just want a confident guy. You might call it “a guy who is not ashamed of himself”. But most females aren’t involved in that. They don’t want to know how to sausage is made. They just want the sausage: the sausage is women wanting a confident guy who is not self doubting or being ashamed. I know I shouldn’t discuss these topics with women but I just got dumb struck that the regular women don’t care about male problems. Feminine nature is very ruthless when it comes down to natural selection. Also when talking to female friends I hear that females can be ruthless towards each other while I literally never had any hostility with any men. Actually last week I had hostility with two guys but it got resolved very quickly when they found out I was not stepping back. Needless to say is that I need to let go of the hope of a girl fixing me or giving me the love I haven’t received. It is a bitter pill to swallow. Shame is basically telling to your self “these parts shouldn’t be there” and the opposite of shame is telling your things that they should be there or it is acceptable that they are there. And accepting that as a basic premise going forward in life and in relationship building. For me shame manifests in putting other people on n1 and myself on n2. In my family I always had to do this. So now I need to let go of the shame of “asserting” myself into the world.(( I remember being ashamed of having a dick because I was beaten one time for playing with my dick when I was only few years old. Kind of strange of me remembering that: this is my oldest memory of shame)) And being ok with being denied while anchoring the frame of mind that it is ok to place myself in n1 and that it is nothing to be ashamed of that. I’m a chronic nice guy. So if I had to write my own prescription I would put it like this in archetypical language: be less of a pussy, and be more like a dick.

Self love is actually the center of one’s life. It is the source of abundance and a great life. Love is the water source of the metaphorical garden of your mind from where all the crops grow where you can bear the fruits. If you don’t have love. Your garden will be barren and fruitless. And there will be nothing to share with your Eva. That is my poor poetic attempt to explain the wisdom I gained today. 😅

That is insane. I don’t have HIV. Why should I accept anybody with HIV? I’m not asking for something I don’t have. My whole point is that I don’t want to use my genitals to level up financially and in status. Good stuff. Sometimes I forget love can’t be given. Others are just stimulants for love but that doesn’t mean that polish girl I saw yesterday wouldn’t be able to infuse love in me if she sat next to me right now and was caressing me while I was typing this message. Let’s not pretend we are all transcended on this forum. Mostly we are still ruled by about instincts. Human connection is a primal need.

Thanks for your wise and kind words. I’m a typical nice guy and people walk over my position all the time. So sometimes standing my ground and showing my teeth is a level up in terms of balancing my personality. I always put others on n1 and I need to learn to put myself on n1. The thing is sometimes people can perceive you as an asshole. But sometimes you need to overstep to see where the boundaries are. To be less safe in making judgements and also be quick in adjusting them when need be. Love is at the end in the eye of the beholder. It doesn’t exist in the physical realm. Love is seeing the truth and love is not always nice actually. Sometimes love can be painful in the form of tough love. Sometimes punching somebody in the face can be the most loving thing you can do. It is righteous judgement and righteous action. And it is trans rational. But majority of this forum is stage green and it is above their head.

@Buck Edwards I have female friends who help me. As for mindfulness. I’m already doing that. That insight you responded to was a result of direct observation of my inner landscape aka mindfulness. Self worth is something interesting though. It is hard for me to understand but this therapist explains it wonderfully: Self worth is basically a frame of mind you have to - religiously - believe in. Self worth is based on nothing. Just thin air. You could give it a religious spin to it and say “I’m made in the image of god and god is love so I’m love” but that is just my spin to give it any sense.

This lesson in this whole ordeal is that you have to love yourself and try to not outsource it to your partner… But the whole thing about love is how can you give it to yourself when you don’t have it. It is like saying to a thirsty guy to stop being thirsty because it is working against his favor and he is scaring away the ladies. Love is an interesting thing though. It is not like water which is physical but it is metaphysical. Love is wisdom and it can’t be forced. It is spontaneous and it works in mysterious ways. Love can not be chased. If you let go of negativity it comes to you. It is metacognition.

@Emerald that is true. Lately I have been acting “normal” (less seeking and less over compensation) instead of seeking (trying to get validation and build self esteem) and girls treat me much better. It is in inside out approach instead of outside in. It is just very hard to let go of this compulsion. It is really sad actually: I would just run around town or nightclubs to find validation. But that is just a lot of men. Not just me. What would help me the most is find guys who already arrived where I want to arrive so I can soak up their mindset and being. Otherwise I become e pray for manosphere guys who are praying on me. Obviously not all women but women told me this in my face: I need a guy who could provide for me and my child. And my ex literally told me “if I had a baby could you provide for me and my child”? And she already knew the answer. Obviously finances play a role but obviously it is not everything. Perhaps I should be more clear next time.

I’m very left brain by nature. I guess I need to learn to activate my right brain which is holistic understanding and less black/white. I’m fine if you don’t want to marry a McDonald’s guy. But I think it should be allowed on this forum for the truth to be spoken so guys can up their game and not be mislead.