AION

I’m aimed at developing mastery. I’m not aimed at getting result in form of sex or a gf. My heart got broken couple weeks ago so I don’t trust girls anymore. I need mastery and self development.

No I’m pan-theist. Colleagues can just be nice to be nice. If you are looking for nothing serious one shouldn’t shit where you eat. I never game in places where I come regularly because I’m not that smooth and girls like to gossip.

@NoSelfSelf girls in churches are actually very receptive. Finally you said something that made sense although unintentional 😭

I think it is a common problem. People want their partners to be 1 in all. A best friend, a spiritual partner, good sex partner and much more. It is just very rare to find such a good fit in multiple dimensions. At the end you have to play with the toys god is giving you.

This solved it

Life doesn’t work like that. Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. You just have to roll with the punches. Actually dating can fuel your motivation and create synergy in your life. Recently I had a break up and that was a nuclear bomb in terms of energy.

😒

If you feel loneliness you haven’t understood solipsism. Yes consciousness is one but that doesn’t mean you are alone. You are everything so there is no separation. Read Wilbers latest book. It will help.

@Keryo Koffa pigs don’t want pearls. She loved my pearls (godly love) in the beginning but her pig instincts quickly kicked in and her pig mother reminded her of earthly pleasures. I mean. She can’t wait for couple of years until I graduate? Yea I don’t have a lot of money right now but I’m not a bum. I’m pissed. And I want to call her again but I don’t want to ruin what is left which is not much anyway. Only thing that is left is a distant acquaintance.

I watched Leo’s video on break ups and he is right that the biggest factor of repulsion (opposite of attraction) is neediness. But he doesn’t give any solution how to solve this neediness. It is easy to say to a dog to not be thirsty if he didn’t have any water for 1 week. Try to be thirsty yourself for a week and try to not be thirsty. I can get other girls but I don’t want them. I want my ex back. I’m thirsty for her. I think I have to change my notion of love. If I fall in love I have this holy unconditional love. And most women’s love is not unconditional but highly conditional. I think I should see the business side of relationships. And not see a girl as the end all be all but just a potential gf. And if she doesn’t or can’t fulfill that position it can be replaced by another girl. That is just the harsh reality of dating nowadays. No real love anymore.

@Princess Arabia she was very open about why she left me: I didn’t have enough money. I agree I should let go of beliefs but some things are just beliefs. They are facts. And this girl is a sweet heart. A good Christian girl. I never expected a knife stab like that. I don’t know how to trust a girl after this.

@Princess Arabia But I agree on that I should let go of anger and resentment. I have therapy for the last 3-4 years and it doesn’t help. Therapy is so overrated. It only scratches the surface and it doesn’t go below the surface.

@Princess Arabia maybe it is not either / or? I do want her back because I love her and I want her back for myself. I don’t think men should become altruistic angels for women with no selfish needs. I’m in a bad place and instead of being with me she dumped me. This happens a lot and I think that is why there are so many disgruntled men. Men should become aware of this and not trust women so quickly. The whole problem is that women can change their position so easily because of their fluctuating emotions. It is nothing women can do about it. It is just in their nature. I never had problems with men in this regard. My hate is just temporary because I got hurt. It a human reaction to being abused by them. I know it is not personal. It is just how they are. If she was in a bad place because of her childhood my first instinct would be to help her. Not dump her. That is the difference. And that is true love.

She sold me out because her mother didn’t approve of me. And I guess she didn’t fully accept me in extension. I’m so angry right now.

The thing is I hate myself for ruining it and being so needy. The neediness comes from my inner child and she could have healed it. Instead she chose to dump me for showing my inner child to her. Women tell you to open up and once you do they dump you when they see you have an inner boy with needs. I don’t believe every person who is in a relationship is 100 % healthy. She should have accepted my inner child and not be a selfish bitch about it. Now I’m alone licking my wounds. Thanks. I will do those things but it would have been better if she was on my side helping with my issues. I’m starting to hate on women to be honest. I think it comes from my bad relationship with my mother. Women only caused my headache. Perhaps I should go monk mode for couple of years. But if I do that I will miss out on the fun and emotional development. I’m so confused right now.

She loved me for who I was. I felt like being one in flesh and spirit with her. And I thought it would be forever. But then she realized I was traumatized, lazy and I had my issues like everybody else. She compared me to her ex who had his stuff together. She was open about why she left me: I wouldn’t be able to provide for her offspring if she hypothetically got pregnant today.

My ex didn't have low esteem though. And she was not below my league. She fell for my romance for her. In first instance she didn’t like me. Only when I opened up and showed my capacity to love she returned the love I gave her. That is why I’m obsessed with her.

I want to be liked who I’m. But girls don’t like me while I hate some parts of myself. But who the f fully loves them? I see guys who are full of bull pulling girls. And I don’t get it. They treat these girls like a flesh light. My issue is not having no self love. In my observation most women want to be with a guy with personal or collective power. That is the only thing they respond to. All that self love and shit is bullshit. We all know what can of guys they reward. And mind you I do get girls. I’m not an incel. I just get girls with low self esteem usually. Or girls who adore me because I go below my own league.

So they will love me for being a man? Instead of loving me for who I’m ? A guy who has his issues ? Nobody is a finished product I’m not red pilled

I hope she liked who I was. she wojldnt be turned off by lack of game and not being rich. I'm in IT. i will make good money but she needs to have patience. I'm still studying. Most women wait at the finish line and chose the winners. I'm so disappointed in women. They are just players. And I disovered I need to be a player. I can't love these profiteers.

I contemplated about it and I came to the same conclusion: we men don’t have power of being liked. The more we force the more she pushes away. The only solution is to become heartless and become a fuck boy. Because that is what they want.

All enlightenment is fake because you are already enlightened

That is the definition of a psychopath. I still love her and want her back. I don’t know how to get rid of these emotions.

Don’t put thoughts in his mind 🤦🏾

India is an erroneous place. I can’t imagine living there.