AION

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Posts posted by AION

  1. Posted · Edited by AION

    It is insane how free and relaxed my consciousness is after nutting. I just broke my 3,5 month no fap streak and it was becoming insane and unbearable to the point it was becoming unhealthy. 
     

    I tried 

    • Meditation: pranayama, premium squeeze while breathing (forgot the name of it)
    • Breathign exercises: Wim Hof, Fire breath
    • Fighting: boxing, wrestling etc
    • dancing
    • running

    But nothing was helping me. I was getting very aggressive and dominant. Constantly looking for fights. And talking to girls but girls don’t like you if you are fed up so lately not having success with that too. 

    So finally I just busted a nut luckily without porn. Porn was my addiction so no going back to that under no circumstances but I was giving sexual transmutation a chance and it is not working. I just have a very high libido which is not good or bad. It is just what it is.
     

     I would like to hear some stories of people who are successfully practicing sexual transmutation because I really do believe in that. It gives you insane amount of stamina, mental power, will power and wisdom if you can transmute the energy well which is kundalini up. If you can’t transmute you can’t think straight and get mentally clouded.  

  5. Posted

    Both the sun creates order in chaos in our solar system. It gives life. It is both beneficial as destructive. Being too close to it can hurt you and being too far away can freeze you. 

    Both the sun and god is impersonal. Yes it gave life to you. Without it you wouldn’t exist.  But at the same time if you step out of line it won’t come to save your ass. Both the sun and god is a force of nature.  

    What do you guys think? I think most people project human attributes on god. I don’t think god cares about it. It will exist with you or without you. It just beams out warmth/love sun kissing you and if you don’t look out you can be killed by it if you don’t understand its nature. 

    How most people treat god is like those goofs who speak to dogs like the dog understands human language. The dog doesn’t give a shit. It is just a biological organism with thousands of years of evolutionary conditioning. 

  6. Posted



    This song represents how I feel about my ex. When doing self inquiry during I noticed that I projected the perfect feminine ideal archetype onto my ex. 

    But is was just a projection…

    She is just a human being who eats,  breathes, shits and is full of bull like the rest of us. 

    Or just as the prophet Lil Wayne said:

    ”you are all about her, and she is about hers” like in this song:

     

    It is fundamentally wrong to project the perfect feminine archetype on modern day women. We aren’t in the Victorian era. She just wants that lollipop (emotional fix). Her god is her emotion. So it is better to treat a girl as a you know what than to treat her as a queen. 
     

    Lil Wayne’s understanding of women is on par. Romantics like Kanye West are not. Romantics are for men. Women have higher priorities in relationships. 

  8. Posted

    Guys it is all in your head. 
     

    If you make yourself believe that you have no sexuality your body will believe it too. If you believe you are a horny dog , your body will make extra hormones and you will become it. 
     

    The same with enlightenment. If you believe you are alien consciousness, you will become it. If you believe you are a unicorn. You will become it. Even Leo believes in his own crap. It is just one big jester joke. 

  10. Posted · Edited by AION

    6 hours ago, Emerald said:

    Thank you for checking out the series. 

    And yes, judgment is commonly the root of "evil" actions.... because we begin to view ourselves as good guys fighting the bad guys. And we dehumanize the bad guys.

    But this also opens up the possibility that we are bad/invalid because we're viewing the world that way.

    I meditated on this topic and I found out that shame makes us wear personas (psychological clothes). To be shameless is to undress the personas others have forced us to wear. Or we ourselves made us wear. 
     

    adam-and-eve.jpg

  11. Posted · Edited by AION

    5 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

    What do you recommend to heal shame?

    Books? Practices?

    Just stop judging yourself and be authentically yourself. 

    Take your shirt off in public and don’t give a fuck. At first you will give fucks but after couple of times you will be just that dude with no shirt. 

    There is no books on this. In the same way there are no books you can read which will make your muscles grow by itself. 

    You have to find the thing you are ashamed for and just go into that cave. 
    For example

    • If you are ashamed about your age  go tell random girls your age after a conversation 
    • If you are ashamed about your hairy chest show your hairy chest 
    • if you are ashamed about a particular past event, go tell people about it until you don’t feel the shame 

    Probably your shame is around women. Just go to a hot girl and be your boring self or what ever. Just be “naked” and be shameless in how you truly are. Let go of personas. 
     

    You don’t need to read a book or a course on this. This is the method. The only thing I could advice is to pop some MDMA if you care crippling social anxiety. MDMA turns down the survival brain and you can be yourself. 

  12. Posted · Edited by AION

    14 hours ago, Emerald said:

    The thing about shame is that, if you put ANY conditions on your validity, it just creates more shame.

    And because another person's affection is conditional, it will just exacerbate the shame issue if you see getting those affections as a necessary pre-requisite for recognizing your own worth and validity.

    That's not to say that you must stop seeking connection. It's that, seeking connection as a pre-requisite for letting go of shame and accepting yourself will just create deeper levels of shame. And that's true if every woman in the world started knocking down your door. 

    You see this pretty often with successful PUA guys who sleep with 100s of women, but are approaching their desire to be with women from a place of shame. They get good at getting women attracted to them, and on the surface it creates a temporary feeling of validation. But it just brings them deeper into shame and self-hatred... and typically really negative feelings towards women as well.

    Also, I made a video about shame and the creation story... and the original sin. It's from my shame and love series.

    I'll link it here because I think it will help you... 

     

    I just watched all the videos in the series. As far as I understand judgement is the root of all evil. 

    One must stop judging ourselves and just be unconditionally ourselves aka shameless. 

    It kind of makes sense. I know the good kind of fuck boy who is liked by girls and other people. They are liked because of the shameless - self love - they have. Compared that to a good guy who is full of shame wondering why he is not liked by girls. 
     

    Shame is the dimming of your light. If one understands only god can judge, one can be truly himself and re-enter the garden of Eden. 

  13. Posted

    2 hours ago, cjoseph90 said:

    Yes. This! It is sad, they are experiencing only a limited part of reality. Yes ok i am biased saying this but, I doubt that the OP has met all the women out there and its sad how the human mind generalises vased on its past, and usually false information.

    That is the female equivalent of “not all men”. Of course “not all women” but there is truth to generalizations. 
     

    For me the biggest lessons in this thread would be to let go of either / or. I still believe women are hypergamous but that is not the only thing pulling their strings. 
     

    Truth is that survival instincts pull harder than love and connection. Love doesn’t pay the bills. So I do get girls in that sense. 

  15. Posted

    13 hours ago, Emerald said:

    This isn't really what I meant by what I wrote to you.

    It's more the other way around. 

    Your problem is only a woman-problem at the symptom level. The real problem is shame. And this is what creates the n1/n2 problem that you mentioned because that is a symptom of the shame.

    I know that your problem SEEMS like it's a problem with women and dating. But it really isn't. 

    Shame is the beginning and end of the issue, and it manifests likely in many forms... and this woman-problem is just one of them.

    So, my advice isn't about alleviating shame for the sake of being more confident with women... as that isn't the root of the problem, just a symptom. And if you try to alleviate shame to be more acceptable to women, you will just double down on and exacerbate the shame.

    My advice is rather to seek to resolve the shame because you want what's best for yourself, and as a side-benefit of resolving the shame this will enable you pursue connection, love, sex etc. from a frame that doesn't come from a sense of lack and a need for external validation. 

    And the ONLY way you can alleviate shame is by practicing unconditional self-acceptance and compassion.

    If you put a condition on loving and accepting yourself, it will create shame in you. And you will go seeking validation from the outside.

    And one side-effect of this is that you will be looking to women to validate you so that you can finally love and accept yourself. And of course, this puts all sorts of pressure and stakes into romantic interactions that aren't actually there.

    And once you come to accept yourself... you don't need to pretend to be a nice guy or a dick or any other kind of thing to get women to like you. You will just feel comfortable being yourself, and there will be women that are attracted to you as yourself without any calculation about what kind of persona that you need to adopt.

    And seeking out some mentor to teach you how to get good with women... or trying to learn to act like a dick isn't going to help you.

    To do this would be like trying to cure malaria by taking a a fever reducer. It might bring the fever down, but it won't really resolve the issue.

    Thank you. I agree that I have chronic shame. It is also part of a pride culture of my parents. And pride and shame are connected. 
     

    But the thing is giving yourself self love is like asking a poor guy to stop being poor. I don’t think people can love themselves in the secular sense. One needs to connect to god or something. And be given he or she can’t himself / herself. 

    Shame is self consciousness. It is when Adam and Eve saw themselves being naked after the forbidden fruit which granted them self consciousness . It is the original sin. The price we paid for being self conscious and being our own gods. 

     

  16. Posted

    6 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

    This thread and the other one by Aion are so similar, not even sure which one I'm commenting on at times. Same kind of post. I guess it's men's provider concerns week. 

    Because he stole my thread title by replacing provider with life style :

    I guess he just wanted to steal some cloud or something because he could have just posted the OP in my thread. It is confusing for me too right now to have a duplicate. 
     

  17. Posted · Edited by AION

    2 hours ago, Emerald said:

    I think it would start with knowing where you want to arrive... and even more importantly WHY you want to arrive there.

    One issue with the tendency for men to seek out the help of other men who have "gotten there" is that it often misdiagnoses the real issue. And this, in turn, can lead to a tendency to seek out role models that may worsen the real cause of the issue.

    And there are many men who have gotten to where you want to get to that are struggling just as much with the deeper issue.

    And the real cause of the issue doesn't actually have to do with dating, sexuality, and women. That's just the most symbolically resonant projection screen for the real issue to play itself out on.

    The real issue in all of this is shame and a feeling of not being good enough. And even moreso, men liking women more than they love themselves... and seeking out female validation to try to alleviate the shame (which of course doesn't work).

    And it imbues a projection of false power onto women, who come to be seen through the projection as hyper-objectifying calculated arbiters of male worth and punishers of male weakness.

    And this, in turn, leads to men misunderstanding female sexuality... and instead to read into it a kind of cold power to adjudicate the worthiness of a man.

    So, resolving the shame and developing self-love and looking into any reasons for attachment to female validation is necessary to rescind the projections... which in turn, will enable you to really open up to love and connection with women: platonically or romantically.

    And if you seek out mentorship with dating or seduction, you'll want to be 100% positive that the mentor you choose is not caught down in the same shame dynamic, as it is a VERY common dynamic for boys and men to get stuck in.

    I talked about what you told me with a female friend (she is helping me with this stuff). And from my experience women don’t ruminate on male shame. And she is not interested on ruminating on this topic. 

    From the female perspective she just want a confident guy. You might call it “a guy who is not ashamed of himself”. But most females aren’t involved in that. They don’t want to know how to sausage is made. They just want the sausage: the sausage is women wanting a confident guy who is not self doubting or being ashamed. 
     

    I know I shouldn’t discuss these topics with women but I just got dumb struck that the regular women don’t care about male problems. Feminine nature is very ruthless when it comes down to natural selection. 

    Also when talking to female friends I hear that females can be ruthless towards each other while I literally never had any hostility with any men. Actually last week I had hostility with two guys but it got resolved very quickly when they found out I was not stepping back. 

    Needless to say is that I need to let go of the hope of a girl fixing me or giving me the love I haven’t received. It is a bitter pill to swallow. Shame is basically telling to your self “these parts shouldn’t be there” and the opposite of shame is telling your things that they should be there or it is acceptable that they are there. And accepting that as a basic premise going forward in life and in relationship building. 

    For me shame manifests in putting other people on n1 and myself on n2. In my family I always had to do this. So now I need to let go of the shame of “asserting” myself into the world.(( I remember being ashamed of having a dick because I was beaten one time for playing with my dick when I was only few years old. Kind of strange of me remembering that: this is my oldest memory of shame)) And being ok with being denied while anchoring the frame of mind that it is ok to place myself in n1 and that it is nothing to be ashamed of that.

    I’m a chronic nice guy. So if I had to write my own prescription I would put it like this in archetypical language: be less of a pussy, and be more like a dick. 

  18. Posted

    Self love is actually the center of one’s life. It is the source of abundance and a great life. 

    Love is the water source of the metaphorical garden of your mind  from where all the crops grow where you can bear the fruits. 

    If you don’t have love. Your garden will be barren and fruitless. And there will be nothing to share with your Eva. 

    That is my poor poetic attempt to explain the wisdom I gained today. 😅

  19. Posted · Edited by AION

    25 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

    This is just pure bias. A guy will marry her because she is beautiful and feminine and follows his lead. Men usually don’t marry women for who they are, they marry them for what they symbolize to them. It’s conditional as well but in a different way. Go marry a 40 year old HIV positive crack addicted homeless woman on the street and accept everything about them and how that impacts your life. Then you can say you love unconditionally.

    That is insane. I don’t have HIV. Why should I accept anybody with HIV? I’m not asking for something I don’t have. My whole point is that I don’t want to use my genitals to level up financially and in status. 
     

    26 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

    The thing is love isn’t a commodity. It isn’t something that can actually be given. A relationship is just two people relating and then you create love within yourself, you choose to go through these doors. Our partner acts as a sort of mirror for us which we then see this love within us. We do acts which reflect we are creating this love and in turn they do the same. It can come in the form of words, actions or sex which we create the most powerful and intense forms of love. Slow down. Actually examine what love is. Love in english is usually used to describe a physical sensation / vibration in the body which you have chosen to create because from within you are accepting and viewing what is with acceptance, allowing what is to be. You could by extension use the word love to mean look at what is without judgement. The thing is most people like you said do this partially. We do in fact only accept certain things about our partners while accepting other things. This is usually how relationships work. We choose to relate with people where there is this sort of equal balance between the two forces which have certain desires they wish to fulfill. Yin and yang. So yes I would say most women are with a man and love a man for the lifestyle and the actions he takes which show he is creating love within himself. At the same time she should know her beauty and feminine qualities are what interests him. After all, why not just date another man? You are impartial towards wanting to experience certain qualities of hers that fulfill desires. Remember, two opposites make one. It’s not her job to unconditionally accept everything about you, that’s your job to do it for yourself. It’s also not your job to unconditionally accept everything about her, at least not in the sense where you’re obligated to relate to her. I unconditionally accept the male barista who makes my coffee. It doesn’t mean I desire to fuck him. I would say the way forward is to really drop every story or belief you been told about relationships and focus on learning what love is and acceptance is and where it comes from, and how it’s always here for you. Then see how that benefits your relationships with others. It can really transform your life. Don’t look for value and love outside yourself. You have it now already. 

    Good stuff. Sometimes I forget love can’t be given. Others are just stimulants for love but that doesn’t mean that polish girl I saw yesterday wouldn’t be able to infuse love in me if she sat next to me right now and was caressing me while I was typing this message. Let’s not pretend we are all transcended on this forum. Mostly we are still ruled by about instincts. Human connection is a primal need. 

     

  20. Posted

    16 minutes ago, WillCameron said:

    It can't be forced, but it can be cultivated. Here's a simple exercise I did when I was recovering from body image issues. I'd stand in front of the mirror after weighing myself and say, "I love you no matter how much you weigh" or "I love you no matter what you look like". A negative thought would arise and rather than hating or rejecting that thought, I'd say, "thank you, I love you even if that's true. I appreciate you trying to help."

    You have to recognize that even the most hateful thoughts in your head are just trying to help. They have been splintered off and given self-negative or other-negative roles based on the experience that fragmented them. From that perspective then, they really do deserve your love, appreciation, and forgiveness. In some cases you must even ask them for forgiveness. We think we should respond to self-hate with hate, but that just becomes more self-hate. Love your self-hate and you are adding more love. That doesn't mean you agree with those parts, but you just calmly thank them and love them, and then continue to love whatever part you feel you can't love, whether that's weight, a lack of money, a lack of social skills, a lack of intelligence, a lack of whatever.

    One thing to be careful of is whether or not this exercise becomes overwhelmingly dysregulating for your body. If you find that this happens then take a break and go meditate, trying your best to recenter yourself and calm your agitated body down. It'll be hard work no matter what, but know and honour your limits. Self-love is a verb, so do the actions that make you feel more loving of yourself. One thing I do is take a hot bath with a book and relax as best as I can. 

    Learning to love yourself won't make your dating struggles magically go away, but when done in tandem with nose to the grindstone action, this self-love will absolutely help you improve faster, and help you attract and be attracted to value-aligned, conscious women.

    By the way, I just wanted to commend you for your response to this thread. You put yourself out there to express your concerns and when people responded to you in sometimes hostile ways you kept your cool and took in their criticisms. Definitely feel proud and self-loving for that. Being assertive and standing up for your perspective is an indispensable tool in life, but so is knowing when to soften and integrate the perspectives of others. I think you've demonstrated that well here.

    Thanks for your wise and kind words. I’m a typical nice guy and people walk over my position all the time. So sometimes standing my ground and showing my teeth is a level up in terms of balancing my personality. 

    I always put others on n1 and I need to learn to put myself on n1. The thing is sometimes people can perceive you as an asshole. But sometimes you need to overstep to see where the boundaries are. To be less safe in making judgements and also be quick in adjusting them when need be. 

    Love is at the end in the eye of the beholder. It doesn’t exist in the physical realm. Love is seeing the truth and love is not always nice actually. Sometimes love can be painful in the form of tough love. Sometimes punching somebody in the face can be the most loving thing you can do. It is righteous judgement and righteous action. And it is trans rational. But majority of this forum is stage green and it is above their head. 

  21. Posted · Edited by AION

    @Buck Edwards I have female friends who help me. As for mindfulness. I’m already doing that. That insight you responded to was a result of direct observation of my inner landscape aka mindfulness. 

    Self worth is something interesting though. It is hard for me to understand but this therapist explains it wonderfully:


    Self worth is basically a frame of mind you have to - religiously - believe in. Self worth is based on nothing. Just thin air. You could give it a religious spin to it and say “I’m made in the image of god and god is love so I’m love” but that is just my spin to give it any sense. 

     

  22. Posted · Edited by AION

    This lesson in this whole ordeal is that you have to love yourself and try to not outsource it to your partner…

    But the whole thing about love is how can you give it to yourself when you don’t have it. It is like saying to a thirsty guy to stop being thirsty because it is working against his favor and he is scaring away the ladies. 

    Love is an interesting thing though. It is not like water which is physical but it is metaphysical. Love is wisdom and it can’t be forced. It is spontaneous and it works in mysterious ways. 

    Love can not be chased. If you let go of negativity it comes to you. It is metacognition. 

  23. Posted · Edited by AION

    @Emerald that is true.  Lately I have been acting “normal” (less seeking and less over compensation) instead of seeking (trying to get validation and build self esteem) and girls treat me much better. 

    It is in inside out approach instead of outside in. It is just very hard to let go of this compulsion. It is really sad actually: I would just run around town or nightclubs to find validation. But that is just a lot of men. Not just me. 

    What would help me the most is find guys who already arrived where I want to arrive so I can soak up their mindset and being.  Otherwise I become e pray for manosphere guys who are praying on me. 
     

    8 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

    “Women can only love men with money and high social status”, this is judgmental.

    Is this really how you view women?


    Damn. If this is what some men automatically think about every woman they encounter just because they happen to be women, then I pray to God to make me invisible to them.

     

    Obviously not all women but women told me this in my face: I need a guy who could provide for me and my child. And my ex literally told me “if I had a baby could you provide for me and my child”? And she already knew the answer. 
     

    Obviously finances play a role but obviously it is not everything. Perhaps I should be more clear next time. 
     

     

  24. Posted

    2 minutes ago, WillCameron said:

    I'd like to hear your response to my own. 

    I’m very left brain by nature. I guess I need to learn to activate my right brain which is holistic understanding and less black/white. 

     

    5 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

    Nobody degraded you. Oh the hyperbole. You call us degenerate by making such threads. 

    I’m fine if you don’t want to marry a McDonald’s guy. But I think it should be allowed on this forum for the truth to be spoken so guys can up their game and not be mislead. 

  25. Posted

    7 minutes ago, WillCameron said:

    I think the mistake that people often make when discovering tragedy is that they start thinking everything is "really" tragic. One of the ways that the neuropsychologist Iain McGilchrist has talked about the left brain hemisphere's dominance in our culture is in the left hemispheres need for perfection. So for example, the Platonic Forms are envisioning some metaphysically "more real than our reality" realm in which the perfect form of everything we see exist. All chairs we see are the baser instantiations of the perfect Platonic form of "chair". 

    How this manifests in our culture can often be seen in terms of morality. People realize that perfect altruism can't exist because even in the case of self-sacrifice you do it because you believe it is a good thing to do, and so you feel good knowing you sacrificed yourself for a worthy cause. This realization makes them nihilistic because they think that at base everyone is selfish. 

    The issue here is that we've become so hooked on the "perfect" altruism, that anything less is interpreted as being the worst opposite. We're either perfectly altruistic or we're all the basest form of selfish, which makes sense because it is the mirror image of perfect. It's like the anti-Platonic form or anti-perfection. 

    The truth is that this perfection that the left hemisphere is focused on cannot exist and so comparing ourselves to an impossible perfection we can never reach is foolish. The reality is that true altruism cannot exist, but that doesn't take away from the very real ways in which people asymptotically approach altruism. If someone does something good for you they didn't just do it because they were selfish, but because they actually wanted to help you, even if they also benefitted from that.

    While selfishness is one motivator, reducing all of our motivators to mere selfishness is to deny the complex reality of all the various reasons we do things. Again, it is the left hemisphere that breaks the world down into parts and hyper-fixates on the one that it believes matters most. It is the right hemisphere that is able to hold reality at complexity, and see that just because one motivator is selfishness, doesn't mean there aren't other motivators that matter just as much and sometimes even more. We have to take in the gestalt, the whole, if we want to understand human motivation.

    So applying that to the question you have, yes women obviously have standards, but so do you. Are there women whose physical appearance would have you reject them no matter how good of a person they were? Does that mean you love the beautiful woman you marry any less? Our standards create the conditions by which we can create a good, satisfying relationship and it is within that context that "true love" can flower. However much there were standards that needed to be set, that love is no less real because what you consider "real true love" is a perfection that cannot exist. Why create resentful, bitter ideologies around non-existent realities?

    Good post. One of my pitfalls is black and white thinking so this post enlightened me.