AION

Learning to play is much more than just letting go of shame. The best book on the topic on how to learn and play is the inner game of playing tennis. Just letting go of shame won't do it suffice. It is a whole mindset and the thing is that children already know it by heart. It is mostly about deprogramming bad stuff instead of adding new stuff.

Shame is being afraid of being naked aka just being yourself. I like Peterson's take on it.

@112233 🤓

@Emerald So what is the solution? Just letting go of shame and unworthiness and everything will fall in place 🤣That is seems kind of truncated and simplified.. although at the core it might be true what you are saying. I'm clearly seeing this in some friends who have no success. They feel ashamed about their situation and unworthy because they don't have the things that they think they need. But in my opinion it is more complex. These guys take everything personal and too serious instead of gaming their way through life. Perhaps even more important than letting go of shame/unworthiness is learning playfulness which is something that comes natural in humans but we unlearn playfulness after a certain age.

Using charcoal toothpaste everyday is very bad for your teeth.

I want to go too but I don't want to sit in a god damned stadium watching him from 500 meters

It does seem insane but some people are Mr Bean in real life. It could be real.

Hm, I don't know you enough to say anything about that. I do have some indications but I rather not say it.

I know it can be annoying and violating to even sense somebody’s sexual pretensions. So I understand hot women kind of. Men looking at them all the time like they want to rod you down. But the thing is, guys only do that to guys that pose no threat. If a gay person does that to the wrong person they will be beaten. Just imagine a gay dude sending out sexual intentions to an Andrew Tate fan. That is not going to end well. There are tons of people who are desperate to make friends but nobody is trying to get in their anal tract although if I look back I have some suspicions but they would never dare to be so bold and rude like in your case.

@RendHeaven if so many men or hitting on you you are definitely sending out signals. Perhaps it is all the soy.

The thing is that most guys know they are getting used for their money, status or what they can provide to the women. In fact most women admit they look at a guys career and stuff and I don’t think there are men who resent this or get offended by this. So your comparison doesn’t hold up. We are all being objectified and subjectified to a degree. There are exceptions and true love exist but most love relationships are beneficiaries.

I can imagine how it would feel. I had a particular experience with a girl who used me for sex and although it was a very attractive girl, I still felt used and discarded like an object. But I think most guys wouldn't mind being used like that, in fact they would beg to be used by hot girls like that. Guys also get attention from girls that are unattractive. The thing is that the masculine wants to penetrate the world of the feminine and the feminine doesn't do that. It is passive and only drops clues. So I don't think it would be too bothersome to be bombarded by attention. It would be a luxury problem imo. Because guys can defend themselves if girls get handsy and they don't get handsy anyway because it is not in their nature to be that assertive. I know guys that can't get any girl and they are much worse off than the girls that have abundance of choice. Female problem is to find the needle in the haystack and a lot of them try to find them and get ran through like a Japanese train which causes its own traumas and other problems. I think it is like the yin and the yang, each gender has its own problems but I think women still have it easier. If you look like a regular girl and you mess up everything in life, you can still find a decent guy who will chip in, and you will be set for life.. If you are a guy and you messed up everything, good luck..

That is the only thing we agree on

This guy is so confusing, funny and terrifying at the same time. It is like Mister Bean who makes the situation worse.

@Princess Arabia it is concerning that some are not seeing the exploitive nature of OF. It is like a drug dealer who destroys people’s lives and then says “I told nobody to buy drugs from me. They came to me.”