Key Elements

Since you said that it's not a self-esteem issue, I would highly recommend to start understanding the ego. Not many people are able to understand it, they mistake it for being selfish or something else. Ego has everything to do with all your emotions and the monkey mind. Guess what? All that is a fiction. Just let it pass by like you are watching a passing train. Please read up on the ego. Here's a passage from Robin Sharma, the author of Who Will Cry When You Die: Be More Than Your Moods For much of my life, I believed my thoughts were beyond my control. They just entered my mind automatically and did whatever they wished to do. Even worse, I believed that I was my thoughts. Instead, we are thinkers of our thoughts. We are creators of the thoughts that flow through our minds and, given this fact, we can change our thoughts if we choose to do so. This seemingly obvious insight was an epiphany for me. I soon became far more aware of the thoughts I allowed into my mind and the inner dialogue that takes place within everyone of us every waking hour of every living day. I began to pay complete attention to the quality of my thoughts. This awareness was the first step to changing them. Over a matter of months, I trained my mind to focus only on positive, inspiring, and enlightening thoughts. And in doing so, I saw the outer circumstances of my life change. Just as you are not your thoughts, you are not your moods. You are the creator of the moods you experience, moods that you can change in a single instant. If you choose to do so, you can feel peace in a moment of stress, joy in a time of sadness and energy during a time of fatigue.

@Afonso

Awesome toothpaste by Baba Ramdev (Guru)...

Here's a true story that I heard, and I got it from one of the books of Robert Kiyosaki. He's the author of Rich Dad Poor Dad and Guide to Investing. I like the second book better because it tells more details. Here's the story: Bill & John There was a village with a water problem. All they had was an enormous bin in the middle of their village, and that was their only water supply. The villagers had to go down to the nearby river a mile away with their buckets, scoop up water, come back, and pour it into the bin. The leader of the village got tired of this problem and called Bill and John for help since they were the best problem solvers. John got to work immediately. He got two huge buckets from the general store and started going back and forth from river to bin. He worked 14 hrs a day. The villagers paid him well. Bill, on the other hand, disappeared. No one knew where he went. Everyone thought he has given up. However, six months later he showed up with a lawyer's contract (due diligence), two wealthy investers, and a water pipeline construction company. He built pipelines from river to bin and to all the homes in the village. Now the villagers had at least one sink and a bathtub. He knew that other villages and small towns nearby had this problem, so he built pipelines there too. For the water, he only charged one cent per gallon, but that's ok. He got billions of orders. Then, I saw a YouTube clip of Shaolin monks that reminded me of this story. I've been watching them for a while now. Have a look at the first scene of this clip. They are carrying buckets. I noticed that sages/gurus/monks are very disciplined. They are capable of doing this - "building pipelines," if they had to, and donating most of the money to charity. I know that Sathya Sai Baba of India started hospitals and universities. I heard that some other guru had a toothpaste product made from natural materials. Just wanted to share this. Here a basic startup structure.

We can't really tell if it's a good sign or not. That's between you and her. Are you both non-quitters? Think long term. The both of you have a long road ahead of you if the relationship is to happen. What will you become if you transend what others say? @Huz I just want to add something here and be a little more bold. I grew up in CA. Far too often, relationships are only short term, and they break up easily. It's a huge distraction in life to have so many heartbreaks. It's time to think ahead on what a successful relationship is about.

Two different messages... Do Read... its beautiful !?? The best message I have read in a while A man, an avid Gardener saw a small Butterfly laying few eggs in one of the pots in his garden. Since that day he looked at the egg with ever growing curiosity and eagerness. The egg started to move and shake a little. He was excited to see a new life coming up right in front of his eyes. He spent hours watching the egg now. The egg started to expand and develop cracks. A tiny head and antennae started to come out ever so slowly. The man's excitement knew no bounds. He got his magnifying glasses and sat to watch the life and body of a pupa coming out. He saw the struggle of the tender pupa and couldn't resist his urge to "HELP". He went and got a tender forceps to help the egg break, a nip here, a nip there to help the struggling life and the pupa was out. The man was ecstatic! He waited now each day for the pupa to grow and fly like a beautiful butterfly, but alas that never happened. The larvae pupa had a oversized head and kept crawling along in the pot for the full 4 weeks and died! Depressed the man went to his Entymologist (insect specialist) friend and asked the reason. His friend told him the struggle to break out of the egg helps the larvae to send blood to its wings and the head push helps the head to remain small so that the tender wings can support it thru its 4 week life cycle. In his eagerness to help, the man destroyed a beautiful life! Struggles help all of us, that's why a bit of effort goes a long way to develop our strength to face life's difficulties! As parents, we sometimes go too far trying to help and protect our kids from life's harsh realities and disappointments. We don't want our kids to struggle like we did. Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Dan Kindlon says that over-protected children are more likely to struggle in relationships and with challenges. We're sending our kids the message that they're not capable of helping themselves. To quote clinical psychologist, Dr. Wendy 's Moral: "It is Our Job to prepare Our Children for the Road & Not prepare the Road for Our Children" All parents - do read it???

@Leo Gura That's why the title said 12 Basic Qualities of an Enlightened Person. It's only a general outline, not the entire package. The entire thing is too complicated.

@Huz There is no easy way for me to say this or ask you this question. I'm just going to try my best, but you don't have to respond or answer the question(s), ok? This is only for you to think about. You said that you're in London. Fine. However, originally, you mentioned that you're from some place else. Now, Leo, in one of his clips, talked about cultural transendence. PUA/RSD in and of itself is a totally "different" culture than your place of origin. It will be very interesting and maybe very rare experience for you to join PUA/RSD and watch yourself pick out a girlfriend and return to your place of origin with your girl, and both of you transend both cultures. Where are you going to settle? Best of Journey. But, if you don't get what I'm talking about, you don't have to respond.

12 Basic Qualities of an Enlightened Person by: Charles Francis Author of “Mindfulness Meditation Made Simple: Your Guide to Finding True Inner Peace” “If you think you are enlightened, go home for Thanksgiving.” — Ram Dass We sometimes say that some people are enlightened, but do we really know what that means? We might say that because they are kind, loving, and insightful. While these may indeed be qualities of an enlightened person, it’s hard to be sure unless we ourselves are enlightened. I’ve been on a spiritual path most of my life, and in my experience I’ve seen how people are transformed through spiritual practices. Here is a list of qualities that most of them attain. This is not a comprehensive list, but I think it contains some of their most prominent qualities. Keep in mind that there are varying degrees of enlightenment. That is, everyone is at a different point in his spiritual development, and some may be more enlightened than others. Also, these qualities can be possessed by both men and women. Enlightenment is not exclusive to either sex. 1. Happiness The enlightened person is happy and joyful. He has a cheerful disposition most of the time, and is willing to share that joy with others. He is always optimistic that all challenges have a resolution. Even though the resolution may not be the most desirable, he is confident that he is capable of being at peace with it. 2. Peaceful and Serene The enlightened person is peaceful and serene, because he is free of fear and other unwholesome emotions. He can see that the human condition reaches beyond this physical existence, so he no longer has a fear of the unknown. He is free of worry because he understands that freedom from suffering comes from within, and not from material possessions. 3. Loving, Kind, and Compassionate The enlightened person is loving, kind, and compassionate for two main reasons: 1) he genuinely cares about other people, regardless of whether they care about him, and 2) he knows that other people provide him with the spiritual nourishment he needs to continue growing. Therefore, he remains spiritually open to everyone. 4. Not Self-Centered The enlightened person is not self-centered, because he has lost the sense of a separate self. He can see the interconnected nature of our existence. To him, this is not just a concept, but a reality. He realizes that all physical manifestations (humans, animals, plants, etc.) depend on each other for their survival. 5. Emotionally Stable The enlightened person is emotionally stable because he no longer has an ego that needs validation for its existence. He is not hurt because there is no ego to hurt. He does not get angry because he is understanding and compassionate toward those who are not as far along the spiritual path. 6. Patient and Understanding The enlightened person is patient and understanding because he appreciates how our ignorance creates our own suffering. He understands the challenges of achieving enlightenment, so he doesn’t condemn people for their missteps. 7. Humble The enlightened person is humble. Since he knows his place in the universe, he doesn’t need validation from others. Therefore, he has nothing to prove to anyone, including himself. His humble nature allows him to be kind and gentle, and be open to everyone he encounters. 8. Insightful and Open-Minded The enlightened person is insightful and open-minded. He is able to see the world with great clarity, without attachment to preconceived ideas about people, places, and things. This enables him to observe the world without jumping to conclusions. Belief and intuition are replaced with clarity of vision and understanding. 9. Inner Strength The enlightened person has great inner strength. He has learned healthy ways of connecting with the sources of spiritual nourishment — through healthy interactions with people, and within. He no longer has a need for the power struggles that most of us engage in. 10. Leadership The enlightened person is a leader. Having awakened to the point of understanding the nature of suffering, he realizes his duty to help other people find freedom from suffering. He leads by example, rather than control. People follow him because of who he is and what he stands for. They want to be more like him. 11. Mindful of His Health The enlightened person is mindful of his health — physical, mental, and emotional. He knows that his mind, body, and spirit must be in harmony in order to maintain his spiritual condition. He has developed an understanding of physical and mental health, and doesn’t blindly depend on others for his health. He is mindful of the nutrients and substances he puts into his body. 12. Committed to His Spiritual Practice The enlightened person never forgets how he achieved enlightenment. He is also aware that it takes continuous effort to remain that way. It takes a great deal of spiritual nourishment to help others along their path, so he’s aware that he needs to replenish his spiritual strength on a daily basis. Otherwise, he’ll lose his effectiveness as a spiritual messenger. Overall, the enlightened person is mindful of himself, and the world around him. Furthermore, he is curious and willing to continue learning. He is aware that even though he can see with great clarity, developing an understanding of the true nature of our existence takes time to observe and investigate. This is not a comprehensive list of the qualities of an enlightened person. But I think these are the most prominent. My purpose for examining these qualities is to give us a compass to guide us in our spiritual journey — a vision of the path that lies ahead. From this list, it seems clear that enlightened people live rich and fulfilling lives. Those who achieve any measure of enlightenment do so through some form of daily meditation practice, a willingness to let go of old views, and a commitment to helping others find peace. It takes work and dedication, but it is well worth it. Best wishes on your spiritual journey!

"It's hard to transend culture if you only know your own."

Practice the Action Habit by Robin Sharma, author of Who Will Cry When You Die? "Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it," observed David Starr Jordan. Most of us know what we need to do in order to live happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives. The real problem is that we don't do what we know. I have heard many motivational speakers say, "Knowledge is power." I disagree. Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is only potential power. It transforms itself into actual power the moment you decisively act on it. The mark of a strong character lies not in doing what is fun to do or what is easy to do. The sign of deep moral authority appears in the individual who consistently does what he ought to be doing rather than what he feels like doing. A person of true character spends his days doing that which is the right thing to do. Rather than watching television for three hours after an exhausting day at work; he has the courage to get up off the couch and read to his kids. Instead of sleeping in on cold wintry mornings, this individual exercises his natural reserves of self-discipline and gets out of bed for a run. And since action is a habit, the more positive actions you take, the more you feel like taking. All too often, we spend our days waiting for the ideal path to appear in front of us. We forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting. Dreaming is great. But thinking big thoughts alone will not build a business, pay your bills or make you into the person you know in your heart you can be. In other words of Thomas Carlyle, "The end of man is an action and not a thought, though it were the noblest." The smallest of actions is always better than the boldest of intentions. I like your background, Leo!

Well, if you take a look in your high school, does every teenager want that? Let's say you went to a different high school. How about actually looking into a different high school? Try picking a very "good" high school in your neighbourhood to visit. Does every teenager want that? Why or why not? You don't have to go along with any teenager or make friends with them, just observe. There is a saying, "You become the 5 people you hang out with the most. Choose carefully." Tell you something else... Go visit your local university on your free time. Just take a walk there for a day - nothing special. Browse their catalog of majors. Did any of them match your talents and what you love to do? Which is the closest match? If you didn't find a match, see if there is an university counsellor and go talk to him/her. Make up a liberal study if necessary. In the meantime, visit a local coffee shop and stop and smell the roses along the way. Time to take a break and observe and make light decisions. Get creative. The university is not only for studies. You could also get ideas for a career and where to travel (exchange programs). Don't miss out in this world. It's a great place to do networking / startup. This is where your life purpose comes in. You could do this throughout the life. The university is a great place - many options and resources. Have fun here. Meditate here in a quiet spot under some tree. Join a yoga program here or nearby. I'm not suggesting for you to do any of this - just sharing with you thoughts and ideas. I'm just saying that for me it's casual and relaxing. At the same time, I learn a lot in an easy way.

What is the life that every teenager wants to have?

Correct, I agree. Let me just add, it's great if the person looks ahead and plans ahead. For example, we all heard of the saying, "Put yourself in the other person's shoes." What if we plan to get married and have children, then what? What actually happens if that were to happen? I think this is the radically open-minded thing to do, even though you may not want to do this or not planning to do this yet. Sometimes being radically open-minded is learning the easy way. Knowing what is the other side of the coin in a practical way helps.

Leo also has a clip on detachment...

You were not judging her; she was judging you. It's a misinterpretation on her part and a hasty conclusion. She could've asked what you meant.

School/education: