Key Elements

This is a tough one. I would say try to get her to let go and be interested in life again by slowly getting her to be in touch with her interests. Help her explore her interests. I hope she's not around the abuse anymore.

Nice first post and great questions too... I would start with my passions - question myself what I really love to do. What are my interests? Write it down, perhaps in a journal. Explore that and turn it into a career / life purpose. You are in the university now. Try matching the major with your interests / career. Have a career. It'll help you become independent and great learning experience. The next step I would take is to really understand what is my life purpose. How would I get my life purpose like this: Life purpose = startup = passive income? Learn more about what is a startup and what is passive income. Here's the book I recommend: Guide to Investing by Robert Kiyosaki. There is a triangle diagram that looks like this in the book: This is a great puzzle diagram that has helped me get my life purpose. Of course, this diagram would have to be paired off with the Spiral Dynamics diagram starting at stage orange. Leo made a clip on Spiral Dynamics. Of course, Leo has a life purpose course. All at the same time on a daily basis, keep self-inquiry, meditation, and contemplate on what is truth. What does it mean when everything is one?

Yes, I agree on this point. There was a point in my life where I learned that life is a school. Life is the "biggest" teacher, and we all know that in school, there is structure and healthy boundaries. Without figuring out our healthy boundaries in life, we would not get the most out of life. We could become reckless, and in the end it could feel humiliating. However, too much structure and boundaries will lead to stress and frustration, and therefore, getting in touch with the "inner child" within could reveal more wisdom.

@Waifu Yandere ok. I get what you're saying. Question for you: what exactly is it that you're looking for? For example, everyone talks about seeing the no-self, where everything is one, and it's all you. If you are looking for this, that's fine. However, you may want to be in a more peaceful time in your life or a more peaceful state of mind - like maybe perhaps being more settled and stable. In this case, using your imagination will help in life purpose / career etc. Imagination does help. Yes. Imagination comes from thoughts in the mind. You could get ideas from it, or allow it to pass by / flow by like a train and meditate. It's your choice. You have to decide that. You have to decide where you're at.

@Waifu Yandere Imagination is a tool, like art, for example. If you could find a way to incorporate it in your life purpose, career, work, etc., because it comes automatic and natural, that would be great - no stress/less stress and freedom. Did you notice our thoughts are automatic - coming from "nothingness." This could be used to our advantage. The answers are there. I think that's why they call it, "answered prayers."

@Brimstone So awesome! What an amazing speech by him! Reminds me of my childhood right after I graduated from the 5th grade. It was during the summer vacation when I was at my cousin's house in KY. Nature is beautiful there. I was running through the bluegrass freely, doing arts and crafts, and writing a lot. I discovered what I was good at there because I let myself go free and did stuff naturally. No one was telling me what I can or cannot do. A special type of big insect was chirping in the trees that had a special type of rhythm to it. It sounded like a sprinkler system with rhythm. I could've danced to that rhythm and no one would judge cause I was still a child. We are free. We just have to think back to a time in our lives when we did things freely and apply them to our lives now - without thinking about the deadlines or how much money we'll get - without any hard and fast rules. Then, things will fall into place.

Have you ever thought of it this way? I'm free...

I overheard an interesting conversation today between two people. I'll call the two people teacher and student. It went like this: Student: I saw something on YouTube today. A dictator of country X increased the number of concentration camps for his people. One of his soldier decided to gather a group of around 100 soldiers to defeat the dictator by stabbing him in the stomach to kill him while the other soldiers backed him up. The lead soldier did not succeed but escaped into another country and was telling his experience on YouTube. He was like a Samurai. Teacher: No wrong! That soldier is NOT a Samurai. Do you even know what is a Samurai? When a Samurai goes on a mission like that, he either completes the mission successfully or he dies trying fearlessly. Anything other than this is disgraceful and he would not be considered a Samurai. He doesn't let his ego get in the way by escaping to some other country, live to tell the tale, and earn money through YouTube. If he doesn't succeed, he sacrifices his life. More on Samurai

Whoa there...now now...like I said, life is a school. If this happens, we may not graduate properly. God knows what the no-self has install for us. We were once dinosaurs, maybe, rulers of the earth. We may embody into some other form once the human embodiment is gone. Let's not take that chance and try to trigger some peace in this life. This looks like a better embodiment but you never know. You never know if we get a worse embodiment.

@Brimstone I get what you're saying. The simplest solution to dealing with all these cases is simply let the thoughts go by (all the emotions/ego) and just be. Just be in the moment and continue with daily life. Continue with work/life purpose/other stuff in being without being disturbed by ego. It's not perfect but try your best.

The no-self loves having kids - little gods and goddesses. It puts us all in this life on earth called school, and sets up its own rules to see how well we do in this life. Does anyone have awakening experiences of life being a school? One of Leo's blog explains life being a school - earth phenomenon. I have heard from others that when you graduate well, you go to heaven phenomenon and there are 8 different stages of heaven phenomenon. And, 8 different stages of the opposite. And then, there is the no-self.

This is a great topic. When it comes to ego, sometimes it's hard to put the main idea into the right context. Where do we draw the line between misinterpretations, misunderstandings, and ego? It's not so easy to draw the line for yourself and others.

Yes, true. Some people are emotionally triggered, and it's obvious. I'm just trying to say that sometimes it's not very obvious. It's subtle and not as easy to recognize. I think this is what I'm trying to say. Here, I'll give examples. I do notice something among people in real life, and sometimes because of this we're not as opened up to conversations/communications as we ought to be on the forum or elsewhere. Could the ego play a role in this? Probably. Here's a simple example. Two guys are good friends. They share lots of things together without hesitation. The first guy visits the second guy's home and meets his wife. The first guy thinks that the second guy's wife is overweight. So, he just points it out to her, not knowing that it made her feel uncomfortable. On the second visit, he points it out to her again. This time he notices that she's not saying hello or talking to him. When he points it out the third time, she started confronting him saying that she already knows she's overweight and it's hard to keep it off and to change the topic. However, he brings it up again and again in the future. Could this be ego? One could say it's subtle ego. Sometimes different life experiences triggers ego is what I'm saying - in subtle ways. And, we pick sides and it's not so obvious. So, instead of thinking that something deeper is going on, we just pass it off as laziness to keep off weight or some other negative thing. Ok,, here's another one. An old man from Germany decides to get his son an arranged marriage to a gal from India. The son agrees. But, the son's friend thinks that it is strange and keeps bringing up the topic in negative ways. Instead of actually travelling and finding out what arranged marriages is about from all different angles, the friend just keeps assuming and criticizing. I'm only saying that the ego is subtle. Sometimes being emotionally triggered is not that obvious.

No I'm not. The message is for everyone. Sorry if I didn't say it quite right. See, this is what I mean.

Ok, I will give examples of what I mean for futher clarification. 1. Let's say that someone just graduated from the university as an engineer and tries to look for a job. He has a hard time because the job market lists engineering jobs with the requirement of 5+ yrs of experience. A person who has just graduated with an engineering degree has a different perspective than someone who has 5+ yrs of experience in engineering and who has helped in the construction of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. Unless, the newbie gets more experience in the same field, he will not be able to communicate with someone who has many years of experience in the same field. Let's take this deeper. Most people can relate to the above example. The same concept could be applied to more profound things. 2. One person has just started dating. Another person has been married for over 10+ yrs with children. The one who has just started dating may not even be able to relate to the one who has been married for years. They may have different core values when it comes to commitment. If they have a discussion about how to have a successful marriage, it's quite possible for misunderstandings and misinterpretations. 3. It's very unlikely that a person who has travelled and lived in India for years and eventually became citizen there will be able to communicate that experience with someone who likes to stay in his own backyard. 4. It's almost impossible to relate to someone with an awakening or awakenings if the other person has no experience of awakenings. This is what I mean by misunderstandings and misinterpretations in communication.

Maybe it's not just one-upping. Maybe is also misunderstandings and misinterpretation. Different people have different life experiences and words and experiences are limited.

When you go into a public area, try to avoid the crowd is what came to my mind - a way to stay safe. Also... Be alert of your environment. Stores and other places have security cameras. Look for them and go with someone or friends/family if you can.

I learned a lot from watching your startup - YouTube clips, website, actualized.org as a whole, and spirituality. I'm sure others have too if they are looking at it at different angles and also at it in this angle. It gives ideas on how to do a life purpose.

@SuperLuigi Sorry, but I'm not sure what you're getting at too. I think ppl like Bill Gates are not greedy. He has an AIDS foundation. No projections please. He's not planning to inherit his wealth to his children. 100% goes to charity.

A financial advice company is different from being an entrepreneur. When I went networking, I never met a single entrepreneur / investor / angel investor / VC who told me not to reinvest for that amount of money. That amount of money to some of them is nothing. It's peanuts because the money is just sitting there. Why is this? Sure, many of us here would love to live in nature. I would too. However, we're not at a stage where we could get away with no money. We're not at that "enlightenment" stage. I've been looking into Robert Kiyosaki, author of Guide to Investing. He's a real estate tycoon - somewhat like Trump, but not really. His sister is a monk who follows Dalai Lama. While she's monk, she got cancer throughout her body. Her fellow monks (sisters) did everything they can but couldn't raise enough money for her treatment. So, she called up Kiyosaki, her brother, and he saved her life. Kiyosaki said that if it wasn't for wealth and reinvestment, she would've been gone. In real life, I've seen fellow temple members supporting an old monk to go to the hospital because he had a heart attack. It wasn't a very good hospital. The bill was already over $10,000.00 (US). Anyway, this is something to research and find out in real life. @SuperLuigi, I'm not saying that you're wrong. I'm saying that life throws things at us.

Really? Learn investing and get yourself stable before you decide to help others. (Aka becoming a philanthropist) Money decreases in value when it is kept idle and very low interest rate in a bank account. Good luck. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/making-sense/is-your-money-safe-at-the-bank-an-economist-says-no-and-withdraws-his