Key Elements

@zoey101 Zoey, I think your friend isn't too careful. He doesn't seem to know the difference between infatuation and love. Love isn't one-sided. He doesn't seem to know her at all and doesn't take the time to know her. He seems to have fallen head over heal over this girl who only seem to use him, and it appears that he got into trouble for it. You may help your friend as you wish but don't get into trouble because of him. He should understand that you have a family to support. Otherwise, ask yourself, "Is he really a friend?" Btw Zoey, I have recently started a thread on different relationships here. Even family members could be considered a leaf, branch, root, or trunk. But see, for your own children, you got to find out how to have very good relationships with them. You got to be at least a best friend to your daughter so that she could learn from the relationship. Thoughts on this?

I thought of something, and I didn't know how to put it into words, but here goes. The definitions of going from a best friend to becoming a BFF are very nuanced. If the person doesn’t define these correctly, the person is likely to end up in the wrong relationships or lets go of the right relationships. (ie. someone who used & treated you like an option when something horrible happened to you. When something tragic happens the relationship is over.) But, why bother to have meaningful relationships? To me, it's meant to help a person grow. You get to see it in real life, instead of just reading a book. You got to apply the theories into real life experiences. Monks don't live alone. They live and interact with other monks and learn from each other, but they are detached from each other.

Just wanted to share this. I find it inspiring: However, what I find missing is the trunk. In this video, they said that the root is the best friend. A best friend would call someone or get someone to help you if you are in the hospital in let's say a foreign country, and eventually go to that foreign country to help you. But, the trunk (BFF), would have been prepared for the emergency already. The trunk would have had emergency clothes packed up ready to travel; the passport is ready with the proper visa; who to contact to help you is ready, and if a plane ticket isn't available, the trunk would just purchase first class, drop everything and go.

What's the point? To love.

I also don't expect that of anyone. It's more than just going into the hospital. That was just one example. He just happens to be there. I don't see that as pointless. If life was that pointless, it wouldn't be here. I rather live my life well. I feel fortunate and blessed to have such a person in my life. He's awesome. Good times and bad times. Challenges are opportunities. To me, I'm in a better place in my life because of him. If I do evolve gradually into a BFF in my own ways, that would make me a better person overall. I can't see this without having such a person in my life. If you're asking me to push someone like that out of my life, that's not going to happen. In fact, anyone who does that, that's a red flag right there.

@brugluiz You're welcome. Did you check out the art thread?

@brugluiz hey, no worries, we get what you're saying. No one can agree with everything that someone says. It just doesn't work that way. It's also not easy to understand someone fully. You may think he means it one way, but in reality, he means it in another way. Maybe if you like fiction books a lot, you could do something like incorporate that into your life purpose, like write fiction in profound ways. Allow others to think about what you wrote deeply. A life purpose is deep. Anything you enjoy could be incorporated into it in some way.

It's your choice to assume that you'll never know. There is non-duality and there is duality of other realms--don't make a poor decision that will cause you to be stuck in a horrible realm. Now, I already said everything I know in accordance to what you posted.

I think by what you said, you're totally not getting my point, ok? I said that every human being walks 2 paths--a basic life path and a spiritual path. When you make a decision like that, you can end your basic life path. You may never discover your talents. You may never get your dream career and start a dream business. You may never use your abilities to help anyone. However, you can never end your spiritual path. It's eternal. But, you may find out the hard way if you make a horrible choice in your life. Btw, both paths are interconnected.

@Elisabeth Yes, I have a BFF. A BFF is someone who is capable of helping you effectively when you're going through a tragic time in your life. This person is capable of getting you out of trouble effectively. That's the difference between a best friend and a BFF. They are both willing to go through hard times with you, but the BFF solves the problem much better. It's great if I can transition from just being a best friend to being a BFF to my BFF. Also, I had this happen to me during my early childhood during a war. See, if someone ends up saving your life, you won't forget that person. Of course, due to the circumstances, I lost contact. So, that person was a leaf but behaved like a trunk. That's why life purpose is important. Along the way, you'll gain skills. So many details. I guess I'll find a way to express it in my life purpose.

Ok then, but do help yourself and research stuff that will help you when needed. There are consequences to everything. We have a basic life path and a spiritual path with consequences.

Hmm..That's not good. I could definitely tell you from my experience that life isn't about quitting. Life is the complete opposite. It's about contributing and giving to the world in healthy ways. Eventually, you got to find ways of doing this in your own unique way. I highly do not recommend that anyone quits. You know, the tough part is also seeking high quality help. Also, pick only the advices that are helpful to you. Try to make good decisions--please be careful and eventually learn to do this. I recommend this book: Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life. It's a psychology book. Also explore light exercises like meditation. Those are not the only two things. Eventually, you got to research.

How much do you value your "time" on earth? Every moment counts.

Because everything has consequences, including this one. If you don't know what they are, just look deeper into your basic life path and spiritual path. We are all unique; that's why only you know where you stand. Go and research deeply what are the consequences. Only you could figure that out. But, the first basic step is to seek help. Otherwise, you can't open your mind to the other things.

Congrats! I feel happy for you that you found what you love to do and incorporate it with your spiritual path. It's rare that ppl do this. I heard of a profound saying, and I'm still thinking this could get deeper as we go along: "I spend my entire life helping people close the gap between where they are now and where they want to be in life, but little did I know the gap could be closed this quickly." -A Life Coach. He might just be talking about it from a financial perspective. I'm trying to look at it from Maslow's -- to also contribute to humanity as well -- all is you after all.

This quote really makes good sense to me because one has to continue living life to the fullest. What are you going to contribute to life? How well are you going to plan and do this? How are you going to contribute to humanity to make life more peaceful for all before you go from this life? These are important questions to answer. We cannot continuously talk about the spiritual path and the awakenings forever. If you could answer those questions well (with the help of Maslow's and Spiral Dynamics--those are great guides), you'll be walking on your path well. I bet that's why some ppl are getting their awakenings without any methods--they are already trying to answer those questions.

Or karma.

@Serotoninluv As long as both parties are completely open without holding back any information, then you can learn a lot. A person who has never done psychedelics or SDS or any methods and got profound spiritual awakenings, cannot be called an "anti-psychedelics" person. You know, sometimes if there is the slightest hint of judgement, that's when information and expression of what really happened is held back. It also depends on the wording. These types of conversations also takes patience.

@Serotoninluv ok cool. At the end of the conversation, would she want to do psychedelics? Why or why not? Have you gone into questions like that? She has to feel comfortable expressing everything without misunderstandings. That's what I mean by radical open-mindedness.

@Leo Gura Ok, I understand what you mean, but I was talking about a person who has taken psychedelics with profound spiritual awakenings sitting down with a person who has never done psychedelics with profound spiritual awakenings. Let's say they have an honest discussion (not debate) about their spiritual path with radical open-mindedness. I bet there's a lot to discover. That's what I mean.

@Leo Gura Leo, I'm not against you taking psychedelics at all. The bottom line is, it's a person's choice. No one can tell you what you can and cannot do. However, knowing someone else's spiritual path and understanding it fully is a completely different story. Radical open-mindedness, right? No will come up to you and tell you their spiritual path in a straightforward and honest way because no one wants to be criticized in the wrong way. They want to continue their journey knowing that everything is one and interconnected. You also have to explore non-psychedelics spiritual awakenings deeply and why they don't want to take psychedelics. Both sides have to be radically open-minded to sit down and talk like that--very rare case. I don't know if that even happens. There are always at least two sides to the same coin.

If you don't want to have children, the answer is simple -- don't. There is a saying: "Challenges are opportunities." If you want to know how it is like to raise children without having them, go and help your brother's or your sister's family in raising their children. Get very involved and try your best. Treat them like your own children as if you're the father. You'll learn a lot. You'll learn how challenging it is. It's no joke. Then maybe you can go and adopt some homeless children in need.

Yes, I understand. The reason why I mentioned this is because I met a landlady once who told me that she prefers to rent out her property to white collar, married couples with small families (ie 1-2 children). She said that from her experience these type of ppl are the most stable, financially and emotionally. They are mainly decent and pay their rent on time. They stay with you the longest. This wasn't in the US. I know that US has discrimination laws against this. But, the point is, I'm talking about the target audience. I met a graphic artist who is self-employed and met his clients through all kinds of people when he first started his self-employment business. He ran into some trouble of getting some clients who did not pay him on time or who did not pay him at all and just took off. No they were not white collar, married with children. This is something that caught my attention. When you coach professionally, maybe perhaps, you may want to offer them a free session or a discounted session and make them pay first through an online account. I'm just sharing my thoughts. It seems like where you advertise counts toward who your clients and target audience will be.

@Emerald Here's another idea. Maybe after you've taken some classes, you could start coaching ppl online with your own website, PayPal account, and put an ad in a decent magazine or somewhere. I found my children's daycare/school in a very good magazine ad at the local public library when they were little. The point to this is, if you start working online in terms of self-employment instead of an outside job, if you decide to move, you don't have to lose your job. You could even work on your smartphone.