Key Elements

So that means there are men out there (and women too) who actually want a good, lasting relationship. They don't just want a random stranger out on the streets who they don't even know and have no topics of interest or something deep to talk about.

I found this quote useful:

@Leo Gura Leo, as I commented above, I would like to know why enlightened masters are saying that to you. There must be some reasons. I don't believe they're saying it just for the heck of it. I wish they help us to understand better in detail.

Sounds like a counter-intuitive song...

Detachment from the process and outcome is better than being obsessed and attached to them, including the outcome of nothingness.

@Leo Gura At around 1:30:54, it's counter-intuitive to put yourself in the enlightened masters' shoes and be radically open to why they are saying that. For example, some of them had their nothingness awakening (Riding the Ox Backwards) when they were children. You can't induce that with a substance at that age. Then, for them, there are 'minor' awakenings afterwards throughout life, which are just as important as the nothingness awakening. They don't want to miss out on those because those can set them in the right directions in life. If you keep inducing this and that, you may just be skipping steps and missing out on the meaningful lessons. As you said in your blog, life is a school. I agree. In the actual school, we can't miss out on the lessons which set the foundations. You also have to factor in karma as you go along. It makes the spiritual path very complex.

Ppl do matter, esp family and best friends, but most will not be able to relate to you if you develop beyond a certain point. Most can only relate to you when you say: I'm going to school/university, getting a career, retiring, and that's it. Beyond that, it will only be: favorite food, favorite sports, entertainment. That's about it. Here's where it gets woo-woo to most ppl, and I don't recommend talking about it: Most will not be able to relate to you when you try to find your life purpose (your calling). Using this as a vehicle. They will not understand how to incorporate your career into your life purpose and turning it into entrepreneurship, networking, making a product and marketing/selling, starting non-profits, becoming a philanthropist, and beyond that discovering that you're one with everything and expressing it in your life purpose.

Thanks. ? Excellent topic, btw. Just wanted to share more thoughts... If you have a life purpose, you could say to the other person, "My website is all that I stand for so far; you may have a look if you want." Or, you don't even have to say anything. You could just reply, "Cool." They'll come to know you sooner or later. Looks like you only tell the authentic ppl who are interested in you. Thanks.

Yup. Deliverance but shown through actions. That's why I emphasize on life purpose. If you plant a seed this way, the other person may choose to listen or not. You give them more freedom to choose. They could choose to listen to our "silent" noise or not, and there is always room for improvement on how we plant the seed. In the end of the 10 Ox Herding Pics, the Cloth Bag Monk never spoke much. Yet, everyone found out what he stood for.

And, she never tried to force you. You will probably never meet her.

@Shin No, I'm not talking about forcing someone to change. I'm especially not talking about violence. If they don't want to change at all, that's their choice. I'm talking about: how are you going to present yourself without speaking? If you present yourself well, it does have an impact. Heard of the saying: the pen is mightier than the sword? How about: your actions speak louder than your words? Heard of Harry Potter? Did you know that the author of Harry Potter was poor, with a child, divorced, and on welfare? Her ex lived in a different country and wanted nothing to do with her--no support. I heard that she started writing Harry Potter on napkins with a simple pen, and eventually, look what happened. She became very independent and influential through her stories. Her stories have profound lessons in them. This is probably my favourite: Now, we have a blank life purpose. We have tons of information to transform our life purpose into something influential. It's our choice to take steps to do this or not. Did you ever speak to the author of Harry Potter? No. Yet, you know what she stands for.

That's a good answer Leo, but some ppl stay stuck in one place for life. They could come back and live five lifetimes and still won't get it. Then, what? It doesn't mean you give up. You gotta ask yourself, what's the most tactful thing you could do to help plant a seed in them so eventually they'll get it.

@Charlotte Come on...it's too woo-woo for most ppl. Be more tactful in your life purpose so you'll be more convincing and earning well through it. This is something that I would even say directly at Leo.

@Charlotte I noticed something, even when I engage in conversations here in the forum or any conversations anywhere--did you notice that it's not easy to improve or convince someone in whatever you're trying to say to them? When you present a new idea or a new fact, the other person may think it's 'bs.' It takes time to fully convince the other person because it takes time for the other person to fully convince themselves. You got to prove to yourself that it is true. That takes time. To do that, it takes life experience and an open mind. However, whatever it is that you're trying to express, you could express it in your life purpose, step-by-step, and in a very tactful manner. If anything triggers a debate, it doesn't really help. It doesn't change the other person.

@Charlotte Many ppl want to stay within their comfort zone. They don't want to search for truths.

You asked a bunch of questions with the answer already. To me, the answer is yes, they are more progressive if you start engaging in questions & debates with them. It doesn't change ppl for whatever they stand for.

Good questions. I would say, if you criticize someone, the chances are they would not listen, and that creates distance. Even if you label someone belonging to a certain group and question about that, they may feel uncomfortable. It doesn't allow the person(s) to be themselves and be authentic. It could lead to unwanted disagreements and debates. The question is, why participate in that? Ask yourself, is that the real work that you 'should' be doing? What is most fulfilling in life? This is something for me to think about too. Let's say when you meet a new person, what do you talk about? What if they start an uncomfortable topic? What would you say to drop the topic without sounding rude?

So cute. Born lucky.

@Shanmugam I think for ppl coming from India who are interested in non-duality, I recommend coming to the US and staying here for sometime, under a business visa or H1--work and stay longer so you'll get to interact with diverse ppl, rather than just taking a tourist visa. Why? Because it's still very challenging to communicate non-duality here. Lots of lessons to be learned in the switch of environments. To make an impact to influence ppl of how to live in peace and in truth, you got to be very tactful in passing on the message in the creation of your life purpose. You cannot just present it and have everyone knowing the right message. All lessons in life that you have learned have to be taken into consideration.

@kieranperez just wanted to say, do what you feel is right. There's no right or wrong answers. These are just tips. But I must say from my experience, that what you were meant to do in this life could be hidden within since childhood. It could be a matter of uncovering it. The process of uncovering it could be fun. It doesn't have to be painful or uncomfortable. To me, the tip of keep exploring in fun ways sound correct because you do have a choice of uncovering it sooner rather than later. Don't make it a big rush to uncover it. That could be stressful.

@kieranperez you got to survive first, right? Look at Maslow's diagram. Even monks/zen masters/gurus/etc., have to take that into consideration. I've been to a temple where the monks have to have at least a masters degree in Buddhism in order to qualify to become a monk there. They never marry or have children in their lifetime. They are ascetics. There are always qualifications when you join. Do you want to join for good or temporary? If it's only temporary, then that particular temple will only allow you to stay for a week for a price. I heard one of the older monk had a heart attack, and a temple member supported him by taking him to the hospital for treatment. It costed the member $10,000 in hospital bills. The other option is to find a career that you like and turn that eventually into a life purpose by also incorporating entrepreneurship, spirituality, and non-duality. Yes, actualized.org is an example. But, you could do that with a skill that you like. The skill set that Leo is using here is life coaching.

One little thing that I want to tune in on: what skill do you like to do? If you don't know, you can find it through doing something fun, like a hobby on your free time. For instance, I love art--love to paint, but I discovered that, it's hard to market this. I love to write too and found myself writing a foreign language automatically. This is marketable--understanding two languages. And so, I started teaching foreign language via arts and crafts. That's part of my life purpose. You may want to talk to a career counselor at an university or someone knowledgeable of marketable skills and pick something you would like to do on your free time. Maybe it's something related to your hobby.

Looks like science is trying to catch up: Sounds cool.