Key Elements

@Nomad That's exactly what I mean - to transend and include healthy stage blue values and not push one's value onto others. This is the reason lots of ppl don't talk about their core values - lots of disagreements on what your core values "should" be in stage orange, but your core values are your core values. Don't let your boundaries go, otherwise you can't focus on your life purpose. I'm talking about healthy boundaries, not unhealthy boundaries. I can't tell someone what they can and cannot do, or what core values to choose. Note: I'm speaking based on my experiences in real life. I'm posting because I do feel for shouldnt - a lot. I want the best for her and everyone else. That's why I can't tell her and others what boundaries to set and what decisions to make. I could only tell her what I've experienced and she could decide whether or not to adjust and use it according to her life journey. Got it?

@shouldnt Your dreams could start here and now, this very minute, as long as you notice what you pick up in your hands. Are you picking up your "notebook" (the tool that I've mentioned) to work on & enjoy or doing something else instead? Your dream life is a process, never the end result. The end result (like money) is only 2 sec of happiness. The real happiness is the process. Another thing..I'm glad that nomad mentioned the Graves model. I'm a fan of it. Remember, each stage has to be transended and not abandoned. Leo even said this. Stage blue is an important stage, even though it's fundamental. Some values of stage blue has to be taken into consideration to rebel against stage orange and move onto stage green. We can't live without boundaries otherwise we'll be stuck at stage orange. All of my friends when I was growing up were stage green, but I couldn't share everything with them, so I had to move on. The great part about stage orange is the startup. I recommend reading Guide to Investing by Robert Kiyosaki to work on your life purpose.

@Kelley White This is a great video. Thanks for sharing. I have seen it before. I like the part when she said that we all need to be allowed to be honest - that includes everyone, no matter who you are. Let me just share with you a part of my work involves teaching children. From very young, children are labelled. For example, if a child decides to share his/her travels abroad to X, Y, or Z countries, the child is labeled as "showing off." If a child just stays home throughout summer, the other kids tease him/her. I always like to think that we shouldn't label anyone and everyone is just another human being after all and should be put on the same plain. I allow the children who travel to share openly and honestly. Nothing is wrong with that. It is awesome. I tell the children who stay home that there are lots of activities and games to play over the summer - that the whole apartment or house could be converted into a hide & seek birthday party. There are always 2 different ways of looking at things - why do we need to label and hide everything?

@shouldnt Sorry to hear this, really - but don't worry. It's only a glitch on the TV screen (the Matrix). This forum is also a Matrix. It can be used as a tool only for learning. It doesn't even give you real life experiences which is priceless. Have you tried journaling on an empty notebook? For me, it only started off as one sentence. Then, it became a few paragraphs. Then, it became a book. Then, I went to an IP lawyer I found during networking to get it copyrighted. Then, it became my career & life purpose & so on. Ok, don't look at the big pic. This is only my story... Just start with an empty notebook and start with the "now" today. Then, take baby steps, but do focus on the now and enjoy. If you don't like notebooks, there are other tools, like the notepad on your mobile.

You will find them along your journey when you work on your life purpose and beyond.

I want to share my experiences. I can understand seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist for disorders to mental illnesses (such as bipolar and schizophrenia). If counciling is needed without meds because some trauma happened, that's fine too. These things can't be controlled alone if it's serious - the right meds or medication are needed. However, psychologists can't give you life experiences. They can't figure out your life purpose or Hero's Journey for you. That's a whole new level. Unless, they are very advanced, they can't tell you that your enlightenment experiences are not just dreams, or if you travelled to a new place and tell them about it, they probably will not understand it and may give you the wrong advice - unless they have been there themselves.

@Saitama I wish there was some way of seeing a direct truth to this or get close to it. Well, I could tell you that when I do make friends in real life who I trust or run into different people in different places, they do tell me stuff and I learned a lot from them - sharing experiences from people different from you - Leo mentioned this a few times in his clips. Also, I don't believe the women or even the men would tell the whole truth on this subject matter. It's too personal. A lot of details are missing. It's something to tell good friends/family or someone outside the group. That's why I use the word "anonymous" survey. My reason behind taking the anonymous survey and trying to make friends different from you (and be radically open minded about it) is because the reason for being rejected has to be a lot deeper than thinking the guy is "creepy" or "jerk" or whatever. One simple reason may be due to not wanting to be with a complete stranger.

@Saitama I'm not trying to get at anything. I'm only wondering what are they thinking. It will be great if we all knew. It's not just for you approaching the women; it's for everyone else. I remember when I took a psychology class, a teacher's assistant was conducting an anonymous survey of some kind to get her degree. Then, I thought, it would be great if an anonymous survey is conducted on this topic of approaching women and seduction to see what the women are thinking after being approached. Of course, where you approach and how you approach has to be taken into consideration. I believe this would be a good study to see.

@Saitama Ok, that's fine. Here's another question that came into my mind: I wonder what the girls are thinking when you approached them and talked to them? We really don't know what they're thinking. If we knew exactly what they're thinking, we probably learn a lot from that.

@Saitama Goal = what are you trying to accomplish? Are you trying to get a girl to have a relationship with? Is getting a maths degree part of your life purpose (life's calling)? From my experience, if I want to accomplish something, I have to keep going at it till I've reached a point. Then, I decide where to go next. Success is a lifelong process. I'm just speaking from my experience.

I have a question, and it's nothing but a question: what is your goal? Because in another post I saw that you are thinking of pursuing a math PhD. Careers/life's calling takes a lot of time to pursue and inner work. Having a good relationship also takes an enormous amount of time and sacrifice once you're in it.

Here is another strategic thinking clip & channel which compliments Leo's most recent clip on Strategic Thinking. (I love the art.)

@shouldnt Thanks...habit 3...very interesting.

It did pop into my mind, what if Leo joined in this group of beautiful ppl? Well...my point is...if we all actualized, I would say, according to what they're saying, communication and being fearless are important here. Ok...Teal was saying it. Now I'm going to post a clip below in which Ralph is saying it. We will probably have to deal with all kinds of ppl when we're actualized with our life purpose. It's like taking a class, Fame 101. We probably have to stay focused on our work instead of answering questions not related to what we're doing.

These are all shortcuts, isn't it? We can't achieve across the board. Leo even said this in his most recent clip, How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. One can't find his/her life's calling (life purpose) with all these distractions. Friends? Real friends know who you are and what you want out of life. They don't try to distract you.

"Connect with those who remind you of who you are." Ralph @ Infinite Waters - see: How to Be Unstoppable (I'm going to communicate through my startup.)

Some people are good at doing this in this forum I noticed. They become charismatic and just give them one or two points they need instead of telling the whole truth directly.

Very good points. This reminds me of my husband and I and our boys and their cousins - we all went out to see the movie, Tin Tin, someone who is fearless and helpful and loves adventures. Of course, it plays out differently in real life.

@Leo Gura You talked about how the US is in Orange Stage a lot in your clips, and that you are partially in the Yellow Stage (another individualistic stage). I felt that you focused on those cause ppl in general in the US could relate and could evolve up to yellow. However, I noticed that it won't be easy to relate to evolving in blue, green, and up to turquoise for many people growing up in the US. Think about it. Green is for "hippies?" Sure, but that message may have sent off the wrong vibe. Good luck in explaining this if you choose to do this. To love and to be loved is our purpose in life. Isn't it? Let me give you an example... An old man died in his apartment. No one knew he died. After 2 weeks, his landlord came to know cause his rent was overdue. The police was involved when they opened the door of his apartment. They took his body away. I'm not sure if ppl in general would want to pass off in this way. Maybe his story could have gone differently? Maybe if he got married and had children and made a loving family, his family could have had his funeral. Maybe if he joined a place of worship or served his community or society immensely, he could've been noticed. My point is contribution to a family, group, community, society, and then the world play a major part in our lives. Question: In your mind, name 4 people in your life who will help you if you happen to get into big trouble of some kind. Most people cannot even name 3 people. If they do name 3 people, it will be the immediate family. If it's a friend, it's extremely rare. They will be called BFFs or family friends. @Leo Gura Just saying this out of concern for you and others, ok? You said that a person has to see the limitations of green stage (any stage). A log cabin is a beautiful idea (if you decide to do this)-just make sure a good hospital is nearby and that someone you love has your contact info.

@Leo Gura Just making a note here..I'm seeing something unfold. Functional relationships probably work like this throughout life: they could be co-dependent at first. Then, they decide to detach themselves, self-improve, and become independent. All this while, they are non-quitters. They observe each other and learn from each other: actions speak louder than words. Finally, some of them may become interdependent, like start a company together. This works for all kinds of relationships: couples/nuclear families/extended/joint/BFFs/family friends @Leo Gura Another important note: what's a BFF (Best Friends Forever)? It's someone, either inside or outside the family, who understands you completely. It's an interdependent relationship. You could share anything and everything with him/her. They are detached, non-needy, and self-actualized. They have been through life with a lot of life experiences or learned from other ppls mistakes. The chances are higher to get them later in life when you are also actualized. They are extremely rare. I heard the maximum BFFs that a person can get is 3. They will come to you when you are in big trouble. For example, if you end up in the hospital half way across the world, they will be there the next day.

@AHappyTeddyBear I could totally understand what you're saying. Except, I believe, "1st and 3rd Worlds" would probably not be the terms to describe it. Many "3rd Worlds" are now "1st Worlds," but many people are not aware of this. The terms would be Group vs Individualistic stages of the Graves model. It ends in a group stage (notice that? turquoise?). Have you ever heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" In other words, it takes more than mom's and dad's efforts to raise a child properly - to be "world class citizens" and serve humanity - to be balanced and capable of doing this. If a child let's say grows up in a society where there is a lot of crime, or there is more than a 50% divorce rate, then the parents/family members have to try extra hard to guide their children. Family (especially) and society are critical to a child's development.

Don't allow others to put any labels on you - it doesn't matter beauty or not. There is a saying, "Labels are for canned foods." I've been labeled a "religious person" just because I looked into Leo's enlightenment clips and looked at two "different religions." Labels are ridiculous. It's not you. In real life, find friends who will accept you as you are and not put any labels on you. Try to find out who they are first before you call them friends. Watch out for labels, esp those who have no idea of who you are and constantly labels. Try to let go of the people who are not important in your life. Cut off people who are toxic. (From experience, the most toxic ppl are the ones who like to label and gossip about you and/or your family. This includes all family members, including in-laws.) As for loved ones such as family members, try to be as independent and detached from them as much as possible if they label, even if you're living under the same roof, but still love them unconditionally. Leo talked about detachment as having no one to fulfill your needs-it is the ultimate attractiveness-check out the clip. I'm talking like this about the family because in the end for most people, it is the family who will help you when you need it the most, not a friend. There are exceptions - the friends who help are called BFFs or family friends. They are extremely rare, so be careful who you put in this category.

Enlightenment basically means peace. Cheating isn't peaceful. Lots of details if you get into that. It gets recorded in the mind and things unfold-perhaps throughout life. We probably don't know the full story of anyone cause these stories are very personal. I do know of someone who told me that he was once married to this woman and she was the wife who he should have kept cause she was a good one.

@tropicana Leo talks about co-dependent, independent, and interdependent relationships in his clips. From what I got out of his clips and real life, the strongest relationships are at least independent relationships. That means both parties are well defined and willing to accept each other for who they are. They are also counter-intuitive; they don't listen to the opinions of others when they get criticized in the wrong ways. They are willing to stick it out. I find that interdependent relationships extremely rare-BFFs. They understand each other very well in any situations.

Correct. Let me add: the people who never get to know themselves will never get to know you.