Key Elements

"Connect with those who remind you of who you are." Ralph @ Infinite Waters - see: How to Be Unstoppable (I'm going to communicate through my startup.)

Some people are good at doing this in this forum I noticed. They become charismatic and just give them one or two points they need instead of telling the whole truth directly.

Very good points. This reminds me of my husband and I and our boys and their cousins - we all went out to see the movie, Tin Tin, someone who is fearless and helpful and loves adventures. Of course, it plays out differently in real life.

@Leo Gura You talked about how the US is in Orange Stage a lot in your clips, and that you are partially in the Yellow Stage (another individualistic stage). I felt that you focused on those cause ppl in general in the US could relate and could evolve up to yellow. However, I noticed that it won't be easy to relate to evolving in blue, green, and up to turquoise for many people growing up in the US. Think about it. Green is for "hippies?" Sure, but that message may have sent off the wrong vibe. Good luck in explaining this if you choose to do this. To love and to be loved is our purpose in life. Isn't it? Let me give you an example... An old man died in his apartment. No one knew he died. After 2 weeks, his landlord came to know cause his rent was overdue. The police was involved when they opened the door of his apartment. They took his body away. I'm not sure if ppl in general would want to pass off in this way. Maybe his story could have gone differently? Maybe if he got married and had children and made a loving family, his family could have had his funeral. Maybe if he joined a place of worship or served his community or society immensely, he could've been noticed. My point is contribution to a family, group, community, society, and then the world play a major part in our lives. Question: In your mind, name 4 people in your life who will help you if you happen to get into big trouble of some kind. Most people cannot even name 3 people. If they do name 3 people, it will be the immediate family. If it's a friend, it's extremely rare. They will be called BFFs or family friends. @Leo Gura Just saying this out of concern for you and others, ok? You said that a person has to see the limitations of green stage (any stage). A log cabin is a beautiful idea (if you decide to do this)-just make sure a good hospital is nearby and that someone you love has your contact info.

@Leo Gura Just making a note here..I'm seeing something unfold. Functional relationships probably work like this throughout life: they could be co-dependent at first. Then, they decide to detach themselves, self-improve, and become independent. All this while, they are non-quitters. They observe each other and learn from each other: actions speak louder than words. Finally, some of them may become interdependent, like start a company together. This works for all kinds of relationships: couples/nuclear families/extended/joint/BFFs/family friends @Leo Gura Another important note: what's a BFF (Best Friends Forever)? It's someone, either inside or outside the family, who understands you completely. It's an interdependent relationship. You could share anything and everything with him/her. They are detached, non-needy, and self-actualized. They have been through life with a lot of life experiences or learned from other ppls mistakes. The chances are higher to get them later in life when you are also actualized. They are extremely rare. I heard the maximum BFFs that a person can get is 3. They will come to you when you are in big trouble. For example, if you end up in the hospital half way across the world, they will be there the next day.

@AHappyTeddyBear I could totally understand what you're saying. Except, I believe, "1st and 3rd Worlds" would probably not be the terms to describe it. Many "3rd Worlds" are now "1st Worlds," but many people are not aware of this. The terms would be Group vs Individualistic stages of the Graves model. It ends in a group stage (notice that? turquoise?). Have you ever heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" In other words, it takes more than mom's and dad's efforts to raise a child properly - to be "world class citizens" and serve humanity - to be balanced and capable of doing this. If a child let's say grows up in a society where there is a lot of crime, or there is more than a 50% divorce rate, then the parents/family members have to try extra hard to guide their children. Family (especially) and society are critical to a child's development.

Don't allow others to put any labels on you - it doesn't matter beauty or not. There is a saying, "Labels are for canned foods." I've been labeled a "religious person" just because I looked into Leo's enlightenment clips and looked at two "different religions." Labels are ridiculous. It's not you. In real life, find friends who will accept you as you are and not put any labels on you. Try to find out who they are first before you call them friends. Watch out for labels, esp those who have no idea of who you are and constantly labels. Try to let go of the people who are not important in your life. Cut off people who are toxic. (From experience, the most toxic ppl are the ones who like to label and gossip about you and/or your family. This includes all family members, including in-laws.) As for loved ones such as family members, try to be as independent and detached from them as much as possible if they label, even if you're living under the same roof, but still love them unconditionally. Leo talked about detachment as having no one to fulfill your needs-it is the ultimate attractiveness-check out the clip. I'm talking like this about the family because in the end for most people, it is the family who will help you when you need it the most, not a friend. There are exceptions - the friends who help are called BFFs or family friends. They are extremely rare, so be careful who you put in this category.

Enlightenment basically means peace. Cheating isn't peaceful. Lots of details if you get into that. It gets recorded in the mind and things unfold-perhaps throughout life. We probably don't know the full story of anyone cause these stories are very personal. I do know of someone who told me that he was once married to this woman and she was the wife who he should have kept cause she was a good one.

@tropicana Leo talks about co-dependent, independent, and interdependent relationships in his clips. From what I got out of his clips and real life, the strongest relationships are at least independent relationships. That means both parties are well defined and willing to accept each other for who they are. They are also counter-intuitive; they don't listen to the opinions of others when they get criticized in the wrong ways. They are willing to stick it out. I find that interdependent relationships extremely rare-BFFs. They understand each other very well in any situations.

Correct. Let me add: the people who never get to know themselves will never get to know you.

Let's give the man some time to think about it. First he said log cabin; then he said yogi. Maybe he wants to be a yogi inside a log cabin. Who knows? Give him some time to meditate on this so a true answer will come out.

I will try my best to answer your question in a well-rounded way without just taking the side of showing compassion/no-ego (peace). First of all, from my knowledge and experience, enlightenment is an experience of peace (the no-ego). It could be easy to understand. You just have to understand that you don't have any emotions (no fear, no sadness, no lust, no anger, no excitement, etc.) other than peace. Any other emotions that you experience is the ego. Ego was taught and conditioned while you were growing up. Enlightenment, to my understanding, is also not simple. It's extreme peace! It's an outer body experience where you expand to the "no-self" aka "infinity" and then fall through a "blackhole" to yourself again facing backwards. It could also mean seeing a beloved family member who passed away, or if you had a near death experience and you're looking at your own body...etc. etc. etc. What does this mean in real life? It means you experience all these things in peace/no pain/no emotions/no ego. You're not human anymore; you're a spirit. Egos don't exist there. Enlightenment could be gradual-through meditation or it could be sudden and unexpected. (They call it Kenzo in Zen when it's sudden.) What does all this have to do with spitting? Nothing. You're still you. You could still punch back. Instead of punching back, you may want to tell others about what happened. No punching doesn't work well in bad neighborhoods. I know people who grew up in bad neighborhoods doing a lot of punching cause if you don't, it's a sign of weakness and vulnerability. They could even be enlightened too. I don't know. In such cases, an enlightened person could behave like Mike Tyson or worse. You may not even realize that you've had enlightenment experiences and just passed them off as dreams. However, if you decide to do enlightenment work (study enlightenment), all of that points out to peace in the end. The question is, do you want to change your lifestyle to make life peaceful? You may want to avoid people who spits. You may want to make peaceful friends. You may want to move out of a bad neighborhood if you're living in one-you know, education, good job of your liking..then go beyond..startup/entrepreneurship/passive income and use your money/free time to help others. You may decide to grow yourself using Graves model and other models as compasses along with a startup to help the world with a message of peace. It's completely your choice, but this is what it means for me when I looked into enlightenment work. I believe that it's easier for an enlightened person who did enlightenment work or anyone who understands enlightenment (no-ego) to let go of the past and move on, then for a person who doesn't understand it. Yes. It's easier to practice peace in a good neighborhood where there are others, security cameras, and guards, etc. etc. To answer your question completely, the answer is yes...the enlightened person will have to do something (whatever it is) to prevent a spitting / punching / harassing bully from bothering him or her. Wait..hold on..The point is not whether or not you had enlightenment experiences. The point is would the person want a better, more peaceful lifestyle (and avoid the spitting and punching)? This is the main point.

This is not an easy thing to do. What I learned in this life is, "Real life is the hardest teacher." Instead of facing a hardship, the person may want to ask himself/herself, "what are the consequences to what I'm doing?" And, "why do others behave the way they do?" The person will have to be opened to all the different answers on different sides and choose wisely.

This is actually a good question. I don't want to be one-sided in answering this question. There's a saying, "There's always two sides to the same coin." It's one thing to forgive and forget and choose no-ego, but who's doing the spitting? A bully? Child, teen, or adult? It gets to be a big problem once the person becomes an adult. I actually knew of someone who threw a big punch at someone else after 4 long yrs of bullying in high school and no one (no parents/teachers/etc) did anything about it. Sorry to say, but I know cases that are much worse. Ok...let's look at this with no-ego (peace). It's also not easy to judge this situation.

Yes, understood, but it took me a long time to understand this...up until I ran into your enlightenment clips. If I didn't have experiences, I wouldn't have understood it at all. That's why I said it in a very simple way. We only have one emotion, and that is peace. The rest of our emotions are all made-up by us (our ego). This concept is not easy to grasp even if the person is enlightened. They will just pass the whole thing off as dreams.

Depends on which side the enlightened person choose - the ego (emotions) or no-ego (peace).

@Saitama The old man story was a real story. There was an old man who died alone in the apartment complex where I used to live. When I watched Leo's clips, it was very meaningful. All of Leo's clips put together, does NOT sound like the life of the old man. It sounds like, "to love and be loved," which I already described. If it sounded like the old man's story, I wouldn't be looking at this forum. The old man's story was only work, earn, and then retire. That's it.

@SaitamaOk. "To love and be loved," doesn't have to be the purpose. So, pls tell me...what's the purpose? Why are we here in this forum talking about life purpose, the Hero's Journey, and the individual and group stages of the Graves model ending in a group stage? Not only that...to top it off: all religions of the world have spiritual enlightenment in it and world peace. That's a whole lot. I'm not saying that what the old man did was wrong...Why do all this? Why not just end life like the old man? Or, should there be more? Personally, I don't want to end up like the old man. But this forum's vibe is the complete opposite of the old man.

@Sarah_Flagg Let me pls just add... It is possible for the couple and/or the family to go from co-dependent relationships to independent relationships no matter what society says. (Society doesn't know what happens behind closed doors.) This usually happens over time by seeing the person's actions and very little to do with what's spoken. However, you never know, one day, the person may get a few beautiful interdependent relationships out of these. Very rarely do people start off with interdependent relationships.

@Sarah_Flagg I'm just speaking from my experience. They haven't developed themselves high enough to understand what you're doing. Or, another thing...They could still love you and be with you and you could all live together as a group-no problem, but they would need to detach themselves from you (give you plenty of space to develop with respect). This works too. It is possible for people at different stages to live together in harmony. Sometimes time is the biggest healer. But, until then, the person has to show it through his/her pores that overstepping boundaries is unexceptable.

@Khin One of the main reason why I'm here is cause something happened during my childhood-can't forget that. Because of what happened, it all made sense. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here in this forum observing. I knew, more or less, all the other pratical stuff. I watched Leo's clips on enlightenment and did further research into Zen cause of what happended. Leo talked about Zen a lot. I just wanted to know your thoughts on Karma since you mentioned Theravada Buddhism. I did not come in here to be judged by you or others, and I'm not here to judge too.

@Khin From what you know, do you find that Karma counts toward enlightenment? Btw, I used to go to a Theravada Buddhist temple in the US-wide open space. It was fun during the Thingyan festival with all the laughter and water thrown-miss it much. Followers cooked tasty foods-Ohn no khao swè, Mohinga, & lap pat dote-my favourites. Lucky you still get to celebrate it.

Good topic - hard to have a conversation with someone outside of business or work without being "labeled" by the other person with his/her ideologies.

Yes, it is. It means internal peace. That's what we all have - peace as the only emotion internally. All the other emotions - fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, lust, etc., are all created and conditioned by us ever since childhood. Happiness means peace, but we interpret it as excitement, which is only temporary. Knowing this, we know that we are "2-faced," our true-self which is peace and our false-self, the ego (all the human emotions we created). If we continue to choose our peace side, we are better able to focus on important things, such as life purpose and family. btw Khine, I like your profile pic of Shwedagon Pagoda of Myanmar.

I think a lot of ppl are wondering this. It goes something like-how would enlightenment help in life purpose? How does it interconnect? A person will realize that all the human emotions are not there in the first place. The only emotion we have is peace. So, whatever your life purpose is, you could approach it in peace. (No fear, no frustrations, no anxiety, no lust, etc.)