Key Elements

The past is past. They are only stories. There is nothing wrong with remembering them, but you don't have to be attached to them.

Yes, and I'm saying that you don't have to be attached to your identity when you reflect back in your life. Yes, I was referring to that clip.

@DrewNows None of the info I presented were about attachments--just the opposite. The character in the story (movie) was not attached to any of her behaviors, not even when she defended her friend, which of course impressed me that there is such a person. But, that's just a movie. When I reflect back into my life, I suspect I've met such ppl. I feel it's such a honor and privilege just to see someone like that. (❤️)

There are always deep meanings behind certain movies, music, art, and stories. If a person lacks the experience in life, the story doesn't mean much. It may even look ridiculous and shallow. For instance, how often does the average Joe think of the book, Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl? After reading it in middle school, probably never. However, a person who has experienced war as a child and who was in the same situation as Anne Frank, would totally relate to Anne Frank's story. She would never forget the people who were hiding her. ______ In other words, the video I posted was about a movie. It was a lot more than just about domestic violence. You also have to research and understand the consequences of one's actions (hitting someone) if you behave like that nowadays under certain circumstances. The movie took place in a different time, place, and culture.

I used to volunteer in something similar. Currently, I'm thinking: if I actually complete my life purpose, and I'm financially set, and then, I go back to volunteering again. I would know what to teach to get them out of their situation step-by-step. They shouldn't go back to their abuser. There are other ways to get out of it than having only a job as an option. Of course, step-by-step empowerment is necessary.

Another key word: conglomerate Showing and expressing all aspects of Spiral Dynamics. Show not tell. Show the healthy orange side first. It needs to have a base in which the majority of ppl could relate at first glance. Then, you could go slowly down the rabbit hole.

@Serotoninluv I know. What traits are you looking for now? Because the only way that I could show the best version of myself is to actually do it. Then I could see what needs to be improved. I have some other issues to deal with first at the moment. Once you go through the process of making a powerful life purpose, there is no need to really explain yourself anymore. When you say: Toyota, Honda, or Lamborghini, we all know what you're talking about, but those are only cars. What you're doing with your life purpose has to be way beyond those.

@Serotoninluv Well then, our next step is to find a way to empower others like those gorgeous drag queens, or, better yet Gandhi. I was talking about him earlier in this thread. I started a life purpose thread. To reach higher levels of impact in this world, ask yourself, how are you going to use these info to become a leader to leaders? You become the leader maker causing ripple effects. Tough question to answer. Are you doing a life purpose? Gandhi did his very well. It goes very deep into the rabbit hole.

Yeah, of course. That's why I put this clip. The beginning was a domestic violence situation. A friend was helping a friend. But, are you as strong as her when the time comes and given the situation?

@Serotoninluv Oh..I was talking about something different when I posted that. Trump and that guy in the movie do not know how to play the cards they've been dealt with. So, they just play it in an unconscious manner thinking they know what they're doing. And then, I'm trying to say to find a way to lead ppl so that it will plant a seed. Ppl need to do their own work and discover themselves. It's like the saying, "give a man a fish feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish; feed him for life." Not so easy to do in a life purpose because we're all unique. As for what you're trying to say, the victim need to find a way to go from victim to empowerment. Yes, sometimes if the victim can't do this herself because victimhood is all she knows, then someone else needs to step in to break that cycle. Too bad in such situations this could be learning the hard way. I could see how one day Trump could be destroyed. Once that happens, and let's say he ends up in prison for the rest of his life, then he will become the victim if he redeemed himself in prison. By then, it's too late for him.

This movie reminds me of Trump. It also reminds me of the quote, "Judging the book by its cover." Two things: 1) We don't know the person on a personal level. 2) We are so blind to the warning signs because we don't have enough experience in life to connect the dots. This guy, Chance, the gardener, only has to fit the public profile and wave his hands to just get by in life in a "successful way." And, politics is just one aspect. Ask yourself (and I ask myself the same question too), how are you going to finally lead ppl in the right direction so that when you finally leave this world, this statement will come true: This is done in your life purpose, and it's probably the biggest fish to fry in life.

I noticed something with these two statements. It is possible that they could come together as one and the result is painful. Life can work in weird ways. Things that are totally different can come together as one and you won't even expect that. See movie: Up in the Air, Starring George Clooney. It's a great pointer movie.

@Leo Gura Enjoy your single life. I hope your next breakup doesn't hurt.

@PenguinPablo yeah, I understand all that. I've been hearing all those things. Just be careful out there. For instance, PUA will never tell you or teach you how to integrate and transend blue. They just think it's all about being rigid. I was talking about this in another thread--how deep the rabbit hole goes for each of the tier 1 spiral colors. This isn't some joke. You can't just read about it, or watch videos on it. You can only learn it by experience. That will take extensive research, travelling, and staying in multiple countries for long periods. I heard even the ppl who wrote Spiral Dynamics migrated a lot. Even though you don't intend to freak or offend girls, you don't know what they are thinking internally.

@PenguinPablo I don't go for guys I don't know, esp when I was single. He would have to be a friend I know well for a few years.

You know, Leo (and others), I just want to make a note of something here. I was in Vegas in Circus Circus years ago. My son was only a year old. My husband was in a shop nearby buying something. All of a sudden this guy, who looked like my cousin, approached me. He started off by saying, "how are you?" And, commented on my son saying that he's cute and all that. In my mind, I thought this was strange. Why should a complete stranger approach me for no reason and start being friendly toward me? And then I told him, "I'm just taking care of my son and waiting for my husband." Then, he looked surprised, "oh, you look young. I thought the baby is your little brother." At least he made nice comments. At the time, in my mind, I thought he was some kind of weirdo. And then, for the first time, when I heard about PUA from Leo, I thought PUA doesn't work. Why would I go for a complete stranger hitting on me? I don't know him, and he definitely doesn't know me.

This part could be skipped. It's not rocket science. This is probably one of the reasons why some girls are rejecting you, but they're not saying it. They don't want to go into a debate.

Like I said, it's your choice. I'm not telling you to get married to someone from there. However, I discovered in the end that I got the last laugh... I must be doing something right. It's been over two decades of marriage. I tried to explain it in this thread that stage blue has positive aspects. Every stage in tier 1 is profound. You don't just skip it. Otherwise, you'll be stuck at the next stage. A person or the married couple has to realize what are the positives and transcend stage blue. It's not just about being dogmatic, rigid, and making everyone follow your rules. I realized when I was younger, I did not overlook stage blue. That's why I was able to marry at 22 (after I graduated from the university). I asked my doctor what is the best age to have children. She said 23. Oh well, I had my first child when I was 24. I was a year late. Most ppl nowadays don't marry at that age or have children at that age. Btw, I broke records in my family. I married at the youngest age in my family in my generation. I beat my mother's record. She had me when she was 28. All my cousins married above 30. I could've beaten my grandma's record and got married at 18. She married at 19. But no, a woman has to be educated. So, I went for my four year degree. I could've had more children than my grandma. She had four. I could've had five. But, no. (Lol.) Of course, if we planned to have five children, we can't live in the US. Too expensive to send all the children to the university. But, the main point to all of this is, I'm not encouraging others to get into serious relationships. Think before you do something. I live in a stage orange society. Most ppl here, over 50%, break up many times and divorce multiple times. I did not want someone from my society. I saw many ppl while I was growing up, trying to find someone in common with themselves. I understand. But, most end up breaking up. When they get married, most were not in their first relationship. Then they get divorced; over 50% experience this. They try to search for a more compatible one at a later age, but sometimes that doesn't work. This is definitely not the pattern I want to get into. Why is it always about "trying to relate to the other person?" I bet it's not. This is not what I'm experiencing. To me, it's: why get into a serious relationship and just break up? No point in that. What topics are you going to talk about in order to relate to her? The couple cannot keep talking forever. There's a point where you got to detach from each other. _________ Some of healthy stage blue strengths: capable of playing traditional roles (homemaker/breadwinner), understands how to raise children, adjusting to changes in major decisions, compromising if necessary, works on communication skills with spouse, etc. And then, the couple transcends to stage orange. For example, become a startup. Etc.

Depends on the person. There is a difference between being stuck in a stage and moving onto the next stage. The both of you could start at blue, but can you and her tell the difference between healthy blue and unhealthy blue and move on and integrate the healthy parts of the next stage? To me, you can't skip stages, not even red. Why red? What if some disaster in life happens and the both of you don't know how to handle it? Like a war or a natural disaster? WWII was very horrific in China, and it was only a generation or two away. Anyway, it's your choice. Two crucial questions to ask yourself: are the both of you non-quitters? What are your healthy boundaries? I think healthy and unhealthy expectations and boundaries start at blue. I think the reason why so many ppl are stuck in orange is because they forgot to fully embody healthy blue.

@andyjohnsonman well, it's your choice. I just wanted to communicate something to Leo. My husband isn't low consciousness. You have to know who to look for. Does he/she have a strong character, capable of growth? I wasn't talking about choosing a low conscious person. I'm talking about someone who is capable of walking through fire with you in case life is telling you that it's the hardest teacher. Not everyone in the "3rd world" is stuck like that.