IndependantKouhai

I don't think music affects your self-actualization on a broad level, the only thing that might have some impact is negative music that is straight out negativity and depressed thoughts, but even that might not touch you. I found out that as I get more self-actualized, my music shifted to a more calmer style. Although I can't say it changed completely, I rarely listen to the music I did before. I love Jazz / Chillhop / Ambient music.

What is your personal view on Buddhism or Zen?

That's good, have you watched Leo's video on the root cause of all addictions? "If you permanently want to conquer any addiction that you have is you just sit with emptiness and do nothing. So if it's a food addiction, you sit with an empty stomach, and you do nothing, if it's a drug addiction, you just sit with clean veins, and you don't do anything. And as you do that, don't go into fantasy, but just sit there very mindfully. Don't distract yourself! You will want to distract yourself with a book, calling a friend or whatever, DONT! And as you sit in that emptiness, all you have to do is you have to surrender yourself to the purifying fire of emptiness, where all of your sufferings and cravings will come up, and you will sort of face your inner demons. And as you sit there, you're going to have a psychosomatic reaction, your body and mind is going to go crazy, you're going to feel uncomfortable and perhaps even ill. But the longer you sit there, hour after hour doing nothing, that purifying fire will burn out your inner demons. Imagine your demons coming out one by one as the hours go on. If you don't do this, you don't conquer the addiction, you just find some short term solution, and usually what will happen you will fall back into it, if not in a week, then in a month, maybe in a year, maybe in 10 years, but you will. You haven't faced the inner demons; you just swept them under the rug."

Yes, find something you like and don't over do it. Most beginners who are trying to get into working out makes this crucial mistake that hits their motivation hard after a couple of weeks. Then you should keep your priorities straight and write down your goal. For the most time in the past, I couldn't make myself do some activity because I put video games and school on a higher priority, so each time when I forced myself to run or go to the gym, I would constantly think about the work and friends that are awaiting me at home. Motivation. Leo has some videos on it, check them out. Write down your long time goals, don't follow negative motivation and don't expect fast results!

Can totally confirm this, have just started the self-improvement journey myself. Started limiting my addiction to porn, completely let go of video games and other unnecessary cravings/addictions, started exercising daily and forcing myself to spend more time reading. It's hard, your mind makes all of these incoherent excuses to why you should play that one game, why you should feel bad and so on, trying my best to control these thoughts, but for now, I'm still struggling. Just as Leo said "Of course when you take away all the drug addict's drugs, he will feel a bit sad." And yes, I believe it's better not even to mention what you're doing to other people.

The degree to which you are self-developed, and the degree to which you're emotionally mature is the degree to which you can sit alone in an empty room without external stimulation. If you can't sit in an empty room, that means you don't have mastery over your life; you're a slave to external reality. You can't be satisfied with life if you can't sit in a room alone for a couple of hours without cravings.

I have the Zen mandalas Colouring book. 100 pictures to paint, bought it for 9$. It's fun, entertaining and relaxing. All at the same time, it doesn't require any experience and looks extremely good if you invest your time a little more. After you're finished it makes you feel better, makes you kinda feel like you accomplished something. I use while watching Leo's videos, casually stopping to take notes on my computer. It helps me stay focused on what he's saying and adds a little more fun to it, I don't get bored, nor distracted at all! Previously I colored while listening to music, it was awesome, but I found out better ways to use my time. Listening to self-improvement videos and coloring is the key! They are kind of cheap, and if you don't really want to buy them, you can just google zen coloring pictures and print them.

There's a similar video on this kind of topic. 30 Ways Society Fucks You In The Ass

I for one feel disgusted when parents don't let their kids be free and happy because of some religion. It's just absurd. Religion is a belief system, so how can some random people force you to renounce your belief in your god, and to believe in theirs? I don't get it. First, have you even talked to your parents about this problem? Maybe your too fast to set up expectations that they will refuse to let you marry? Maybe your joy and your well being will outrange their religion? If your parents ultimately refuse, I suggest you take the approach your lover proposed, there's no real rush in marrying; nothing will change, you will still be the same people, right? So enjoy being with her until that day comes when you will have to make the decision when the day finally comes, it's for you to decide what's on top of your priority list.

@Siim Land Incomparable, the book's value is much higher. The film is very short and trimmed down compared to the book (obviously), and some scenes are not the same as in the book. Although the movie is fairly good you will get so much more teachings and information from the book. I'd say the movie is more of an enjoyment, and the book is better for learning.

Yes, as @JimAqua said, try talking with them, if it doesn't workout - stay away from what no longer serves you. They will take you down with them.

Oh damn, this will require A LOT of effort to get out. This will require to completely change your life and head to a different direction. First, you gotta beat social anxiety. That is going to be the most difficult thing you're going to face, but it's a good thing, because if you do beat it, your life will never be the same. How do you beat it? Well, this is the difficult part, in order to beat it, you gotta understand. The world doesn't revolve around you, most people don't even care if you fail or if you trip or something like that. Keep that in your head. Look, if you see someone humiliating themselves in public, after a couple of hours you have already forgotten him. In order to overcome this illness you will need to step out of your comfort zone. That means more time in public. You can start slowly, daily walks. Try to make as much eye contact as you can, and act as natural as you can, after a lot of tries you will overcome it. I'm not kidding, if you will keep talking to random strangers and keep getting out of the comfort zone, you will eventually overcome it. Work. I still think you don't want to work because of the Social anxiety, not because it's hard. After all, there are lots of jobs that are fun to do and not hard at all. You just gotta find what you enjoy most. Do you enjoy being with animals? Consider a job with them. Maybe you know a lot of IT, then become a programmer, you can work from home. You know how I found what I wanted to do in life? Films/ books and anime . It's funny, but it's true, I found my passion from them. Consider taking up the challenge and go to the police academy if you are truly willing to change your life. You don't have to be a cop, but the academy will change your life for the better. My cousin was forced to go to the army. (or jail) He was in a similar situation to you, and it was really hard for him the first 2 months, but after he finished and came back home, he was a new person, he no longer slacked off and he completely didn't give a fuck what people thought about him, he got a new perspective in life and got some good self- confidence. Imagine the pride in yourself after you complete the academy and come back home, your parents then will be in no position to judge you. Get away from your parents. Seriously, get away from the people who no longer serve you. If they don't want you so badly, leave them. They are affecting your happiness and confidence levels drastically. NEVER look down on yourself, doesn't matter about your past, DON"T LET ANYONE, not even yourself tell you that you're a failure. And stop looking at the past. What's done is done, you can't change it. You can keep depressed about how you "wasted" your time or you can let go and live in the now. I know it might sound hard, but at least, spend as little time as you can with them. The gun tactic This may seem crazy but has helped me soo much. My parents used to have a gun, and I could access it really easily. So I would just tell myself, if things go so badly so badly that I can no longer breathe, I can always shoot myself. This gave me a new insight into social situations, I was no longer afraid of people and no longer afraid of taking chances. Because will always Have a Plan B for my escape from problems. How small are we. This has helped me put things in perspective. Just realise how small are we in the universe. How small are your parents and everyone who judge you. Each day we are travelling through the cosmos, and each day we could just be obliterated by a meteorite. It's funny, but just think how small are we. But seriously dude, you need to find your passion and when you find it,when you will do the thing you enjoy doing you will become happier than ever. Good luck on the search, and I know that you may be having suicidal thoughts in this phase, but listen, kill yourself later, now take everything life's gotta offer and just enjoy it. Have fun in this journey called life my friend.

How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life Dalai Lama XIV The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Stephen R. Covey

The first tip might not work for most since people experience REM sleep at different times. So I wouldn't get my hopes up too high for that, of course, you can try it, but in my case and my friends, the thing failed. A better thing is to download an app called "Sleep Cycle" basically, you put your phone near you when you sleep and it tracks your movement or your breathing. If you need to wake up at 9:00 AM, it will automatically wake up you in somewhere between 8:30 - 9:00 AM. And in the morning, it wakes you up with beautiful chill music. It's free by the way. It also tracks your sleep performance. For me personally, not eating heavy food before going to sleep, taking a shower and watching some anime/tv- shows/ reading a book really helps me out. I sleep the worst when I'm hungry, so I eat something like rice or curd before going to sleep.

Could be a sleeping disorder or side effects to medication/ alcohol. I don't really think sleeping for 17 hours a day is considered normal, but I'm not a doctor either

Yes , forums and websites like khanacademy, Reddit and CliffsNotes might really come in handy for you. You can also try some youtube channels like In a nutshell Kurzegast, CrashCourse, Life noggin and so on. Depends on the thing. But the internet is really, really helpful. Better to obtain and process information? The basics. Get enough sleep, make sure nobody disturbs you while learning, get comfortable while educating yourself and love the thing you are learning. Oh, there's also one more thing, you need to find out the most effective study plan for you. For example, I remember information better if I'm writing it over and over again. Discover what's working the best for you. Also, watch this video :

Oh, there's lots and lots of ways to improve yourself. And the work never ends. But you gotta start slowly, by killing off your bad habits. Here is how I started. Started drinking more water. I used to be really really dehydrated, I would drink a cup of water a day, that's really bad for your health. I started noticing some health effects, began feeling tired and sick. Started taking daily walks. This really helps, I started 2 km per day and worked up to 10km a day. Gained a new perspective on learning things. I used to see learning as a boring thing, especially is school. But then I approached it way differently. Began reading books, promised myself to finish at least 1 book a month and really got into psychology/physics/cookery. Left everything that was making me feel depressed. My "friends" and my selection of movies and music and clothing ( I used to watch and listen and wear pretty negative stuff that influenced me to feel that way) Stopped playing computer games. Since it was becoming my addiction, I had nothing more to do. I delayed everything I had to do, just so I would have a chance to play them. If you don't think that this is a negative habit for you, that's fine, but it was affecting my life really strongly. No more chips/fast food and less sugar. For obvious reasons. Got a healthier diet. Anger and other emotion management (still not fully completed) ( I was really emotional and would even sometimes "snap" when having a hard argument as a kid) It's not that bad as you think, but I used to get in a lot of fights in my early middle school years. Even until now, I get frustrated, but I try to let that emotion go. Started treating people better. Nobody deserves to get made fun off, and I'm an asshole for doing that in the past. The trick is to start things slowly. One thing at a time. Baby steps. There's always room for improving. First, analyze your behavior and found out what are your weak points. Don't start everything at once, since you might lose your motivation really fast.

Hm, interesting idea, but I still think it needs additional features. Not just quotes, maybe self-help videos, reminder list or motivational wallpapers for phones. I don't really know, it's up to you. Applications like these require to be well optimized and "pretty to the eye". So spend more time on that. I have used similar apps that were full of ads and really poor made, I instantly deleted them. I don't really see myself using the app daily, but if the app is wonderfully made and has something more to offer, then maybe?

For me, there is no wasted life. Each person lives life as he wants, to one working is wasting your life, to the other watching movies is a waste of your life. And another one sees traveling as a completely unnecessary thing. I see this world as an opportunity to experience things. Experience the world and it's wonders as much as you can. That means, the feeling of adrenaline coursing through your body, the feeling of love, enlightenment, the beautiful landscape, art, the cold, the heat... Everything ! So to me, the only thing wasting your life is not experiencing anything at all (which is impossible) If someone would say to me "I'm going to watch movies for the rest of my life" I would probably tell them "Go for it, if you feel that the world has nothing more to offer you." My motto is, the more you experience new things and feelings, the fewer regrets you're going to have later on. I think even if you regret that you didn't reach your full potential in your death bed, that doesn't mean you wasted your life. You lived!