Stardream

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  1. Yes everyone has karma except enlightened people, who may have some strands but basically its clear.
  2. So this is a bit of journey, to give context I think I need to explain the majority of the story. When I was 11 I was visited by a being in a dream, who called itself god. It taught me to fly in the astral ( since then I could always fly in dreams). At the time I thought it was just a dream. A year or so later the being showed up consciously when I was upset and offered a contract. Basically offering to write off the life by working through 10'000 years of bad karma in one life time, in exchange I would get a 'second incarnation in one'. And they would help me make a life time dream come true. This being visited me often throughout the years, but had no real lasting impact on my life for a while. I got into religion/spiritualty in my teens, and by 20 I was regularly meditating, while still partying etc on the weekends. I found a great meditation teacher, who said I couldnt attend because of my draw to substances. I reflected on it and to this day still agree that my path should not be dictated by anyone, not even a realized guru. A year or so later, i took lsd a few times with the wrong person, I was spiritually naive. The person in question it turned out had already been taken over by an elemental or a being below the physical realm. There were a few people actually, who basically were using lsd to infiltrate peoples etheric and mental vehicles, in order to break them down enough that they would also be taken over by elementals or something. It very nearly worked, as the last experience I had with the guy, he shot a bolt of mental energy straight into my soul star, as the soul star reacted by sending the damage to the heart. I rushed home, and felt by body on fire the whole night while I was screaming in agony. Additionally, the ashram added the bad karma to the mix at the same time... I am also very conscious of the relationship or understanding that the guy had with the sun, and the suns role in enacting out this torture. That was 16 years ago, after which ever thought was trying to kill me, i couldnt feel joy, love, surprise, happiness, laughter etc for about 10 years, which experientially felt like about 500. My casaul body was damaged beyond repair, my other mental bodies and emotional body were also severely damaged. Also about 40% of my awareness was under the control of the other person, I have been fighting to regain the awareness now for 16 years, and its still not complete. I went back to the meditation teacher, who ended up being a realized person, and meditated under them for 6 years, following every suggestion perfectly. To begin with I completely quit all substances. After 6 years of this strange spiritual events happened around the topic of the 'dream come true', which eventually broke my heart chakra. The heart could no longer see how it could get to its dream, from where it was, so the heart gave up on life. Normally this means an end of incarnation, but my teacher offered an alternative... what he called a spiral. And also placed a device in my consciousness to help direct me on the path which was far beyond my spiritual position. He said I needed to explore the dream, go to France as I had karma here, and take a break from spirituality apart from some basic techniques which were given. He also made some very weird suggestions, about building consciousness. The idea was simple, and not long after this was done the being known as god visited me in bed, as my soul and this being had an exchange. The personality was blocked from this conversation, as the soul constructed its future with the suns help. Unfortunately because of the damage that even meditating under a master for 6 years could not cure, it was done in what I would say in an unperfect way. Its like expecting a trauma victim to perfectly craft their way out of their trauma, its never going to be a perfect road. Since then, and since I was 12, I have seen almost every step of my life from start to finish. Psychics, other spiritual teachers and also my own feelings all confirmed this, as everything feels like deja vu, the concept of choicelessness that Krishnamurti spoke about, the fact that our entire lives are prewritten, and nothing you can do to change it. And they run exactly according to plan, there is no wavering because how consciousness is build revolves around constant communication from higher energies. As humans we are not often aware that every single though that we have is the divine, essentially anywhere our attention goes is divine. But I digress. So since then, 10 years ago, which was the tip of the spiral. My teacher taught that how the spiral works was you learn lessons on a deeper level. So basically the divine took a snapshot of my causal, and then I am now trapped in how that reveals itself. That conversation seemed to be a precursor for the rest of my life, as apparently the soul wants to learn something different... whatever. My teacher also indicated that after 7 years, that the dream will start coming true. So I waited for 7 years, I did some study etc, but I wasnt allowed to follow a spiritual path because as I found out later, I had to be put on a involution path for some time, in order to fix the damage. Essentially and even now, the goal is to lower the level of consciousness, not raise it, as you may work out why later. On the involution path nothing you do will be successful? Want to start a business? forget about it. Want to work? Nothing turns out. Want to create something? Nope. Want to study or learn? 10x more difficult than normal, so usually not possible. But the creative energies can be used to construct very complex and high mental concepts. And since my heart didnt work, my consciousness focused on mental conceptualisations and realisations. So my mind was in overdrive, but as karma dried up I was not allowed to create any new experiences in Australia were I was, so I sat on a computer, never left the house, wasnt allowed to make friends or long term connections because essentially I was going the opposite way to 99 percent of humanity. The reason for this is because as the damage was etheric in nature, its much easier to fix it from below, so I had to be lowered to a place underneath the physical energies in order to use them to repair the etheric. So I waited 7 years for this dream to come true, sold my house, broke up with my fiance, gave away my dog, left my job, and moved city. In fact I have thrown away about 3 lifetimes worth of material gain for this dream. The hope of a single dream bypassed many time of suicidal adoration as I waited what seemed like eternity for one thing that could change and help my life. I could no longer rely on any spiritual path / religion for direction, in fact they were and still are discouraged. All I could do was put my focus on the one thing. So my mind became extremely one pointed, as I battled in total about 12 years of permanent flight or fight mode, every second was survival but the one dream managed to somehow get me through. Sometimes my heart caved in and the sun/god would come and isolate that part of the heart and put it to sleep. Much of my heart now is sleeping waiting for a better future. So after the 7 years I went to France as my teacher suggested. I actually came here in 2018 as well, but when I tried to leave the being showed, without personality consent overtook my body, and under the promise of fulfilling the dream sent me to a forest near Versailles where I was there for 28 days without food, water or shelter, as I was stuck in a place. Luckily the support of the sun made it feel like about 5 days, but it was a major ordeal after which I returned to Australia feeling lied to and betrayed by the divine. But I waited and returned to France in 2021 expecting my teachers words to come true. But nothing happened, as my saving drifted away. I tried leaving France on occasions but magical things would happen to keep me here. I couldnt leave, I cant earn money, I cant do much except survival. At one point I ran out of money, and I thought to myself there is no way that god would lead me to starve in a forest a second time.... but low and behold. Its why when I hear about Moses spending time on mount Senai, I think the lucky bastard only had to do it once. The second time I felt a similar energy so I prepared, and survived 55 days without shelter, on 200 calories a day and about 500ml of water. Until my family in Australia came to the rescue and they have been supporting me ever since on 50 euro per week. I have survived on that for 3 years, by doing volunteer work out of necessity. Most of the work I do I dont want to do, nor want to be at those places, but its a design so I have no choice and no opportunities ever present itself to change the situation. Any attempt by me to change the situation will be magically blocked by the most random of events. And by the way, those experiences are only the tip of the iceburg when it comes to things that have happened to me. You name it, on a spiritual level, ive probably had to do it in order to get the 'dream'. On that note, I noticed that the dream 10 years ago was just a carrot on a stick, dangling in front of the desperate personality in order to do what the soul wants it to do. But you can never reach the carrot. I have been completely aware for 10 years with everything that has happened, that they are using a lifetime wish against me, that its quite likely it will never happen, but I have no choice to continue it and the soul stokes the dream ever so often to keep it alight in order so I have the 'reason to experience life', the cornerstone of consciousness construction, and that in itself creates a massive amount of pain. A friend told me once its gods role to trick the consciousness into the desire for experience/life, and this is exactly whats happening. Last year, I arrived at a community and after a few months there, strange spiritual things happened and basically I was given a new heart. I even experienced the moment when the awareness was transferred from the old consciousness to the new one. I watched in subsequent weeks how consciousness is built, how thought forms and emotional thought forms, frameworks for mental work, and how the heart is programmed. Obviously consciously I didnt pick up on everything, but a lot of stuff as well as how certain installations are made to direct the thought stream and filter it into though tree's in the heart, a key part of personal expression. I worked with beings on these tree's and adjusting them to the new paradigm. Most people think the heart is them, but its not really. The heart is a program, programmed by the soul. The heart is not necessarily correct, true, its just how your soul wants you to feel and experience in this life time, but its not the ultimate. Watching this left me also with the knowledge that the heart is as trustworthy as your emotions ultimately as its just a bunch of programming, and that programming comes from karma etc, but that means that its not the ultimate truth. This project still continues as my task each second of every day is to balance the old consciousness with the new as things transfer over, mainly the mental and the causal. While this is happening I have been anchored in the causal, have been given necessary tools to build the mental body ( for example objective attention on the time line, being able to accurately depict feeling from mental snapshots etc ), but also with some limitations as a non-master on the causal the ego could get a hold of those experiences and generate an ego from it which is dangerous, also so hence the involution process. Even though I was not told a time frame for this project, it was under the understanding that it would not take long before things 'fall into place' and I can begin to live a new life so to speak. I spoke to god a few times since it started, and each time I have been lied to about the project ( even after it told me once it would never lie to me again), about where it is leading, and what to expect. God even uses threats now, manipulation and lies in the mental body to force the lowering of the level of consciousness. But from a personality level it feels like betrayal, and parts of the heart cannot cope sometimes with this, leading to regular breakdowns, depression, and consistent pain in the heart which then manifests itself as physical pain which can sometimes be debilitating. Also on the point of karma I had to transfer my karma from an old allotment to a new allotment. I saw the new karma, I understand it. Its much better than the old one, but still I dislike many parts of it, and had no choice and was not consulted or consented to allow the karma to come in. And the way its been done also is under the construction process, as essentially I was told by my teacher that it takes 6 months to fix the emotional body, 3 years to fix the mental body and 3 years to fix a broken heart.... which was obviously a comment he said about this period of my life as I watch my soul rebuild my mental body from the new karma. Karma is weird in that there is technically no fixed time when it can come in, but must at some stage. Essentially they forced the new karma upon me, in order to fix the spiritual issues. Normally when karma comes in for normal people, it comes in seamlessly through experience. But not for me, as segments of the karma have been forced upon me against my will, creating new massive amount of trauma, and creating major resistance to any potential healing. The main one is religion as I have never been religious but had respect for them, never had interest in joining one, never had dreams of being any religion. But imagine that a religion is being pushed or forced onto you by the universe, because my spiritual teacher told me in satsung many years ago 'you will need a religion' as still in the silence I walked to a poster and my attention directed to Gnostic Christianity. Now here it gets complicated, because essentially if ever god is true to its word, and the dream comes true ( which after 10 years now I highly doubt), potentially it would mean I could get two periods of time to experience something I always wanted to experience. But by pushing and forcing religion upon someone who does not believe it, has 0 connection to it, does not want it and is actually actively working against the karma now because of how its been done, unnaturally in my opinion, I am now forced to live basically the same experience twice tainted by stuff I dont want because of the way consciousness has been constructed, which has ruined many dreams I have had. One of the contractual essences that was given when I was 12 was that the sun/god would help me in my search for enlightenment eventually... But now because of the way the process has been done and that I absolutely know I will not get the experiences I want, I need to dream of new incarnations in order to get the experiences the heart wants, therefore the sun has already broken that promise by allowing this fiasco of consciousness building and causal training to wobble on as it has. So I am asking anyone who has any experience with the causal and consciousness and advice. Ultimately I want to reverse the spiral to the start, and redo the whole thing. I hate my new heart, because of the way the karma was introduced, and I actually like the old one better, as well as the old karma. I live day to day not being able to do anything I want, stuck in survival mode, waiting for a carrot on a stick which most likely will never come, all because the divine promised me a bunch of stuff of which none has come true ( except for some of the bad stuff, it seems bad stuff they are spot on with, but anything that seems like a step forward is just another carrot) as well as that they have programmed the mind, and forced it to keep going no matter what. So chasing a carrot that I cannot get, while getting whipped in the back.... all thanks to god. I am honestly at lost ends. I am apparently not allowed to ask the couple of realised people for help, and my energy will affect them negatively anyway while im on the involution. On times when I emailed my old teacher, I was mostly ignored. Apparently when the process is finished I will switch back to evolution, but start at a lower level. Its no problem for me ultimately, but the method of disintegrating realisations and lowering of consciousness again by itself is often excruciating. Adding in all the other details, as well as other spiritual experiences, I now have ptsd because of my spiritual path. I cannot really meditate or do any spiritual work, I cannot go see health professionals of which this stuff is far beyond most of them. Medication wont help, therapy cannot help because I know what the problem is but no one on this side of level 5 initiation can help. Involution path benefits from alcohol, fast foods, sleep etc... essentially all the tama's are kind of essential for someone on an involution path. Rajas are fine too, but I need to avoid any Satvic stuff because its counter productive to the process. Thanks for reading, I am putting this on the forum because I am completely lost in terms of support for this, especially support for the lower bodies who really need as much love as they can get through this time. Support that I cant get from the divine.
  3. I will look around, thanks. If I can get it then I will try it to see if it has any positive effect.
  4. It works differently on an involution cycle. Meditation I can do, sometimes it helps, sometimes it triggers large heart based reactions which can last days as my body automatically counters the karma by placing alternative thought forms in the time stream. As far as substances, I have only just started being open to them again after 16 years of not using them. I had one good experience on lsd about 8 months ago store bought stuff from netherlands, but havnt taken it since, and its very hard to get in France from what I have been told. At this point I am open to psychedelics as a cure, but availability.....
  5. I cannot see auras but I know others who can. I could if I wanted to but it never interested me. But I do see mental bodies and would probably be able to spot a master within like 99% accuracy. There is something else called monadic and buddhic energies. I have seen them 4 times on people. On my meditation teacher, and his teacher, it was gold. I wasn't trying to see them, I just did. Later I asked my teacher what I saw and he said it was spiritual energies. I also saw a silver energy permeating from two other people. One ran another meditation group sort of, another was a guy living in a cave next to the ganges. I think its pretty accurate.
  6. Funny you should say this. When the framework for the mental body is constructed, there are things called filters. They filter out unwanted thoughts. By unwanted, I mean thoughts the soul doesnt want, not the personality. The personality can be suffering insanely due to the actions of the soul who may install such filters. The soul essentially doesnt care about the suffering of the lower bodies unless they get in the souls way.
  7. I was given an evil eye by an elemental through the use of lsd. Took about 13 years or so to cure, because of various other issues. The evil eye is not as bad as it sounds, and can be meditated out reasonable quickly if you arnt facing other challenges. It would take about 3 years of meditation, because the evil eye is a mental plane curse. It makes the individual eye see everything in a negative light, and even tries to pass the curse onto others through extension. I noticed once when I unconsciously tried to give the evil eye to someone else, and they rejected it... so its only the soul which will agree to accept or reject it, as its based on karma etc. But even though I had it, I had much larger problems. So its not great, and most people who get it will suffer from it as it will probably ruin their social life, and perhaps their work life too. But essentially compared to other things out there, its not a big deal.
  8. The watcher is your awareness which comes from the heart. That never ends, unless the sun decides to give you a new consciousness, but that usually happens outside of incarnation. Then the awareness is still there, it just expresses itself differently. You are right, the silence, the vibrations of the soul through the causal, are everything you ultimately need. The silence is a spiritual path in itself.
  9. I think of consciousness like a field, its an amazingly large field compared to our conscious perception. Inside that field we have a 'window' which is our conscious mind, what we are aware of. The window is at the front of the mind, the consciousness at the back brought to life by the monad. Psychology calls it the conscious and unconscious mind. Through spiritual practice that window expands, as does the field of consciousness itself as it learns its lessons. What is very underated is two key points. That our lives were written by our souls on the causal before we are born, we do not have any tool from our personality level to change anything about our path. Its so scientifically calculated on higher levels, you would not believe the intricacy. Its actually a very acute science. And that your attention is everything. Its the most powerful tool someone has. Be aware of where your attention naturally gets attracted to. Your attention is based on your awareness, which comes from the heart, and your attention is extremely powerful if the mind is cultivated. You can put your attention for example on a planet in the solar system and be able to communicate through feeling with that planet if you are high enough and have a strong enough mind. Its very much all about one-pointed attention. To get this is very hard. One way is to focus on a single point for 7 years, basically be in full time meditation, even in waking life. To be honest, it doesn't really matter what that point is. It can be a chicken ham and cheese burger, but as long as it has enough impetus in your consciousness for it to hold your mind for that time. That's why most people go with the divine, its much easier to focus on and direct your mind. I am guessing an enlightened teacher can help you with this.
  10. Think of reality as a very large number of energies you need to process. There is no duality in energy, its just energy. If you process all the energies below the causal you will be awakened. Processing naturally happens through experience, or consciously happens through meditation.
  11. According to Alice Bailey and my knowledge of time lines, Christianity is dying out currently. Stay with me here, because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Its antiquated, and Jesus teaching are too simple and the way they are presented are too dogmatic for the majority of humanity at this time of evolution. However as Alice Bailey explains there will be a resurgence, about 70 years from now, dont ask me how I know. The resurgence will put the religion in line with ancient teachings, but also it will be a doorway for teaching humanity about that which lies below the physical energies. Below the physical energies is the construction of consciousness and body consciousness. Its closely related to some tantra and mudras etc. Eventually there will be servers who use the catholic church in particular as a vehicle in order to teach humanity realities below the physical energies. Those servers will essentially outshine Jesus, who was just awakened before he got put on the cross where he became enlightened. By physical energies, I mean the manifestation of 'miracles' which is not really miracles, its just spiritual science that anyone can develop if they are pure enough and strong enough one-pointedness. But that is the future of Christianity, basically needs an evolution overhaul. And it will, just before it dies =)
  12. Actually a one pointed mind can be strong enough to cure any disease. It depends on the soul, if the soul doesnt want the disease, then it will find a way to get rid of it. Anecdote time. A few days ago I was sleeping on the streets of Toulouse and had a terrible tooth ache. I dont have the funds or the opportunity to fix it, then some people sat behind me while my mind was focused on relieving tensions in the body. The toothache at the time was the greatest tension. Now people communicate all the time with each other. Actually ever body movement is a form of communication, and often on different levels. And yes, I have been lucky in that I have been given the ability to study body consciousness. But as these people sat down and started talking, in french, they said words which was picked up by my consciousness in english as ' I will take it from you ', and 'pay it forward', then I focused on the tension, and various things which I cannot transcribe right now, and the toothache drifted from me, and the energy of it transfered to the other person. They gave consent so this was fine. Since then I have had no toothache. I have also had the experience of transfering a death timer, which in the physical energies is located around your wrist. A lady walked past looking distressed, pushing a pram. I felt my attention being pulled to the baby, lifting something from the baby and then giving it to an old man sitting at the back of the tram station. I was told later that it was a service, the baby was scheduled to die not long after, and it was given to someone who had had enough. But of course it was all preprogrammed that way, and it was supposed to happen. I was just a vehicle. So yes disease, sickness all that is a matter of the higher realms. If you die from COVID, then unfortunately you were supposed to die of COVID. Its the way it works, everything runs according to a greater soul plan.
  13. Ask her if she is an astral being, a mental being. Astral beings can lie, they are neither good or bad necessarily, just a being. If she feels electric, then its mental. If she feels fluid, then she is an emotional being. Sometimes part of ourselves, especially the heart can become isolated and express themselves as an individual being. This is where multiple personality disorder comes from, as the being has not recovered from trauma, usually from the childhood, sufficiently and as a result of a trigger, creates a seperate entity. You could ask her to leave. But if you want the hardcore truth, feel the presence of the being in your consciousness, then inactively study it. This is difficult because if you focus on it, it gives it energy. It wants you to focus on it, survival is strong with those areas of consciousness. But you can observe without putting energy into it, and if you observe it for long enough you will eventually understand it, then you can integrate it, get rid of it, play or whatever you want with it... but understanding what it essentially is, is key.
  14. Technically you are right. The mental body is a tool, and the soul is supposed to construct the mental body in a way that it can be used as such, for those seeking higher truths. The awakening process is a process of learning to completely control the mental body, and use it as a tool. Essentially anything like 'kindness' 'niceness' etc are ego, and once they are dropped by the ego, they tend to naturally express themselves as its apart of the heart.
  15. I've tried that through various means. There seems to be a blocker not enabling me to do it. But I agree with the sentiment. It would require a new mental body, which I definitely need. But the higher self/ashram needs to support that and at the moment the concept of 'fixing' the mental body seems to be their prerogative.
  16. God is an umbrella terms to describe energies higher than the mental. Most notable your own soul. But when people have experiences with 'god' outside of themselves, its usually the sun / solar devas, or masters sending thought forms. To be elusive they could call themselves god, to prevent confusion, depending on the state of the consciousness they are communicating to.
  17. You actually are creating your next life now. The average person spends brief moments in the casaul. You can actually feel it if you can feel mental energies, as the higher plane of the mental body. If your consciousness is there, theoretically you could create anything. So thats why your ashram will limit you... from therr karma is taken into account. So you are essentially creating around your karma. Masters can stay in the casaul, they dont actually need one because their karma is worked out, but they can create one if needed. Most higher level non master aspirants can spend a lot of time on the plane, its where people often are if they 'aloof'. There the soul uses the mind as a tool to essentially dream of your next life. After you die the bodies die off but the casaul doesnt die, so you technically are still dreaming when you are dead, but its not on the astral level like mosy dreams, so most people wouldnt be conscious of it unless their consciousness has developed to a degree.
  18. Yes because their aura is crystal clear, there is no movement in their emotional body, they are in control of the mental body more or less and their karma is very small or non existant. Masters look at these things first, probably karma first since they operate on the casaul and higher planes. And yes every proper master can do all these things.
  19. Ultimately any changes to the mind are the responsibility of the higher self. If you want to change, but your soul has no problem with your situation, nothing will happen. There are also lessons and stuff which could incur a response, then its a matter of your mental body. You can create new pathways etc, cbt on yourself works well, nlp, hypnosis. A combination of the latter two with psychological theory and esoterics I believe to be theoretically the most powerful tools we have ( on a humanity level ). Meditation also works on all bodies, but its usually for most people, a process. That process though will bring about change, it has to because the higher your consciousness, the quicker you process energies and information, so the more 'stuff' you go through, those experiences inner and outer, are the catalyst for change. But this kind of change is not always how you expect it.