Evelyna

You have just answered the question you are asking it is useful in finding out what belief you hold.

Yes ok I agree that it may in some cases originate from feeling hurt, but this also determines what makes you feel hurt , now you know what it is, and it begs the question why did that particular thing made you feel hurt, which begs the question can I change this to a different perspective and decide this thing will no longer make me feel hurt, and this automatically makes feeling of anger useful but this is just a personal observation of mine.

You don’t think anger is helpful? I don’t think the emotion called anger is an automatic reaction. We can feel anger and not react to it , same with fear , we can feel fear yet overcome our reaction to it. I prefer to look at those as an alarm system letting me know what is going on with me or in the situation I’m in, from there I am able to choose my reaction. And I don’t think that emotions will disappear but I do think we can choose how we react when emotion arises.

Hi sounds to me like you are a very good analyser of yourself, and maybe it feels like this now because this is your path way to understand and discover more of yourself and it’s just a part of the process for you. From my own experiance I know that emotions are inherently interconnected, and attempting to selectively experience only positive emotions can sometimes lead to the suppression of necessary and natural emotional processes, like for example natural reaction fight or flight would be determined by certain uneasy emotions we otherwise wouldn’t want to feel at all, but this uneasy emotion at the same time helps us in situations of danger, just as an example. I think what you feeling is normal for human being maybe take the opportunity in this to really look at all of the emotions as a collective and needed, maybe assign a function to those emotions you find you don’t want to feel and therefor make them more of a necessary tool to determine better judgement of any situation and actualy for those being helpful rather then unnecessary. Fear is very helpful I find so is anger, anger in my personal experience shows me that of what I really don’t want , like an alarm system and I can take a lesson from that for the future but not necessarily react to it. As to pride , in myself I have swapped the word pride for accomplishment sometimes changing the name of the emotion helps me, in other words it is something that makes me feel good about decisions I’ve made.

Yes I think I have had some successes with it and some things I am still working on. For me in my experience it took understanding firstly that I am able to change what I don’t prefer in myself, secondly it took daily practise, a lot of self talk and a lot of replacing of old habits this includes the way I thought/felt with new ones. I found that once I have practised the new way of thinking enough it became a habit and I didn’t have to practise it as much any more. I also am now very aware it takes conscious effort to maintain a state of being I would prefer , I found a momentum and then try to maintain it all day every day, some things like I already mentioned became a habit already and some I will be working on for some time to come. I think it takes continues work and small steps, small successes. Also I really enjoy the moments where I notice the change in me, a different reaction , different line of thought and a sense of accomplishment, this gives me enough feedbacks to keep going, keep changing and keep working on myself.

@bambi I wasn’t the one who asked for him to be banned you would have to ask the moderators.

@Princess Arabia ☺️ think I might be a sap too 🤭

thank you to all for their responses, in my opinion they are all valid and all input is equally appreciated. @bambi - you have taken the time to dissect almost every word I have written apart from the later apology which was genuine, I have taken in your points, thank you for your thorough description, it was not meant the way it has been received. All I can say is I will try and formulate my future responses in a different way, however I can not take responsibility for how others will receive it. If there is uncertainty I hope someone can bring it up in a mature way of conversation and we can just communicate about it rather then remove people from the thread/forum. I appreciate you all and value all your input. thank you ☺️ p.s - anyone can explain to me what does the word “sap” mean I only know this word to describe a part of a plant that is fluid.

Oh thats great you are an artist, I am one too so I understand you from that point of view. Have you thought of painting/drawing game characters you play? you could find some art in a thrift store on in the UK a Charrity store for very little money and draw some of your favourites characters/scenes on to those old paintings, its fun. You could also do a bit of everything in the free time ,,set aside time for painting/sketching then do a bit of meditating and then gaming.

That is such a kind thing to say, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have just joined the forum , being of older age I thought it might definitely be interesting, it is actually the first forum I have ever joined. Thanks again for your wonderful words hope to converse with you more.

thanks for your reply. I dont have a temple and I dont really understand what has made you so angry about my reply. I'm sorry if you felt like I am lecturing you this wasnt my intention. we all have the right of opinion and I respect your point of view and I promise I won't reply again to any off your posts. I have just expressed my opinions, thats all , you absolutely have all right to not agree with it at all. just a point more: my reading comprehension is just fine , you did not need to try and insult me , bu that is your choice to try so and thats fine with me, thank you again for you reply to my comment. All the best.

Hello Danniel I am sorry to hear you are struggling a little bit with your gaming time. I have a question for you. Do you know what you would like to do with your time instead ? Do you have some ideas of what you want ? Perhaps you find a comfort zone within the game worlds, it would be good to determine why you prefer to spend time in those worlds and not in this one. If you dont know yet exactly what you would prefer to do instead. There is no simple one time solution to this problem but you can take some steps to implement change. When you want to make big, positive changes in your life there are certain things you must change about yourself. The more quickly you can make these inner changes, the more quickly changes will occur in your life circumstances. And, of course, the longer it takes to make these inner changes then the longer it takes for the outer changes to happen. Here is what you must do: 1.Decide exactly what you want. This is very hard for some people. Often they are afraid of making a commitment, because they are afraid they might fail. Sometimes this fear is hidden behind the phrase: “I don’t know what I want.” Another variation is when people say they want a lot of different things that usually conflict with each other. For these people I recommend that they skip to the next item. 2.Try to Get rid of your fears, about the changes you want to make, about the obstacles you think you see, about the past, present and future. The more fear you get rid of, the easier it is to make changes in your life. 3.Try to Get rid of your angers, toward yourself and everyone else in your life. Just like fear, the more anger you get rid of, the easier it is to change your life. Again, check out different books and classes and any other source you can find. 4.Try to Make peace with your present circumstances. The more you resist the way things are, the harder it is to change them. I do not mean to passively accept them. I mean to realize that they are just temporary and to let them be while you make plans and take actions toward your goals. 5.Keep your mind on the benefits of the changes you want to make, and not on how they will happen. When you start to worry about how you can do something you close your mind to opportunities. Keep your focus on what you want without worry and opportunities will happen. I can offer a simple technique to figure out what it is you want: The Technique Take a little time away from everything , even laying on a sofa, sitting in a chair with no distractions, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths. Say these words aloud or in your mind: "Wouldn't it be good if..." (you can substitute "Wouldn't it be nice if..." or "Wouldn't it be cool if..." etc.) Allow the thoughts and ideas to rise in a nice relaxed way and be patient. I particularly like to explore any ideas that make me smile, that make me feel good, that warm my heart. In a surprisingly short time you will have figured out what you want or what you want to do. I do hope this helps in some way. Eve

Hi Bebotalk if I understand correctly you are talking about a definition you hold of the word ''hypocrite'' ? What if you didn't have this definition in your own personal translation system or change its meaning? you can have an opinion , sure, I ask how well does this opinion serve you? is it useful to you and is it effective in your life? Energy flows where attention goes, I think if we was to agree that everyone is a hypocrite , then so what? we all grow and learn in different ways all knowledge isn't taught in the same school, isn't it more important for you to be who you prefer to be then worry about other peoples opinions? at the end of the day even if someone presents hypocrisy and you notice it, it has nothing to do with you but to do with them. The circumstances shouldn't determine your own state of being. I like to play a little game in my mind when I come across a very hypocritical person where I say to myself: be who you chose to be and im staying where I am, in my own lovely bubble. It can only bother you if you let it bother you.

what I am going to say is that the world is what you think it is. To some people it will be very real to others utter nonsense. I prefer to view this as a system or a tool. I, personally, stay away from words like reality (real) and truth(absolute truth) because the implication is that there is an objective reality out there that is independent of me and that the "truth" is also independently objective. The problem with these notions is that all knowledge is dependent on observers who both observe and interfere with experiences differently. It has to do with meaning, which is the story that connects two or more experiences in our mind. We make up meaning; it comes from the imagination. We can make it up any way we like and we can change it when it suits us. To me the next rational question is, on what basis then do I make my assumptions? Since I can't really know everything about what is going on here and the evidence is contradictory, at best, what can I do with this big confusing mess known as reality? My answer is to look at what is important to me, and judge on the basis of how any assumption or meaning works in my life. Since I have chosen to be happy, I make assumptions that foster my happiness. I make decisions based on the overall pleasure they will bring, and I make up meanings that support my happiness. That is, I find stories that make me feel good.

Hmm I don't think that single trait can determine who would be closer to self - actualisations. Once you have decided that a particular choice of how to interpret an experience is correct, you have given birth to an opinion. From then on you will tend to channel all similar experiences through the same opinion, paying attention only to those parts of the experience that confirm your choice and ignoring the rest. Most of the big decisions you make about life occur in childhood, and they act as guidelines right through adulthood unless you change them. So the question here would be what needs to happen in order for the '' "bad boy" or "fuck boy" to make certain choices/changes towards the self actualisation.

Hi Keryo You can always practise and get better at it little by little. Practise makes progress and the more attention you hold on this desire the more often you will notice emotions and behaviours you would like to change. Thats what ultimately this process requires- THE KNOWING IT CAN CHANGE. Know you can change how you view your emotions and know you can choose to react in a different way to given situation. It will also require more fluid definitions you hold and more of an open mind which means your opinions would have to become more fluid, flexible too. But this is all in practice. I wish you all the best Eve