Infinite Tsukuyomi

Because psychedelics primarily increase consciousness, since this happen to do this very important thing they can lead to realizations of God. If there was a sound effect that increased consciousness, if receiving a certain massage, or if smelling a certain scent increased it, then those too would be cheat codes. Just so happens, you could say, that psychedelics are the thing that does that.

Firstly, don't forget that you must deconstruct even Leo, this is what I'm seeing that is being missed with all the questions about what is better, what is worse, what's it going to take, goalposts moving. We're talking about Infinity, you have to try all kinds of shit. It's tempting to lean on him or on anything, the mind is very sneaky and is hiding from all the work whether it be trips or retreats. Secondly, keep the main thing the main thing. Pick something and use it until it drives you insane. The DMTs are crucial imo. "No self/no doer" alone, will motivate the hell out of you and the DMTs will either produce this outright, or if you're like me it will catch you off guard later on. I did a meditation retreat even after my 5-MeO, NN DMT and Psilocybin work. Frustration, boredom, laziness and procrastination are all TRICKS, of course you feel these. Of course, you're questioning what's effective and what isn't, who do you think supplies you with these questions? The fog of deception is so thick, you damn near have a heart attack when it clears. During the long sessions and retreats, I gain awareness around how my mind uses EVERYTHING to avoid dissolution. I combine mindfulness with labeling with neti neti and let EVERYTHING slip through. For those with ADHD (like me), I had to become a puppet. I danced until the "me" vanished. I surrendered control entirely and just let awareness do the work. And it did. More so than just laziness and avoidance of pain, that can be overcome when you're really after Truth. The mind doesn’t want to die. It will hold on to Leo, to his videos, to this forum, to that one juicy insight, even to the cushion your ass is sitting on. Jed McKenna style, Neti Neti, labeling experiences as they appear and setting every idea of God, Truth, Infinity and Love on fire as the appear is a must. Your mind will become conscious of "something" at some point, that will terrify it. Look back at it, you have triangulated Truth but do not wait for, or expect this moment. (easier said than done) In some sense, just doing psychedelics then running off into survival and hallucination makes no sense if you're serious about the work. Unless you have a closet full of 5-MeO or some other substance, why settle for the continual deception and unconsciousness of daily life? Might as well wear the mind out, the target of inquiry is available 24/7.

It wasn't until after an NN DMT trip that I had my experience of "no self/no doer" "uncontrolled chain reaction" awakening (two hours after it wore off actually). Then with 5 MeO DMT within just a few seconds it felt like as Leo said, I broke reality. So radical, so True that it's not possible to believe it. 5 MeO DMT will make quick work of what you're trying to do. It will also quickly put meditation and your other work into proper context. If you do end up going that route, really contemplate how much you want what's True beforehand. It seems like you do have genuine interest. After my 5 MeO trip I remember thinking "If people knew what they were trying to discover by meditating, they would probably stop". There is sort of a lower case a, awakening for your daily life as well. Look at your actions and situation, and see what counter-intuitive things you could do differently. Go belief hunting, multiple times a day, question something your mind said recently. Go identity hunting for identities like: virgin and broke and see what purpose they serve ("the mind has already said these things many times, why does it keep bringing it up?"). Avoid answering your own questions, leave space for non-verbal answers. Weed and counter logical/intuitive actions might be something you can do in the meantime for your regular personal development, until your 5-MeO DMT trip. Honestly low doses (micro to medium) of something like magic mushrooms is where the regular personal development can get a kick as well. Even after 5 MeO, I still notice things about my own personal problems that enlighten me.

@meta_male your wind canal description is spot on. Couldn't think of how to describe it in my post. I was able to avoid the headache but ending up a little sore, probably from the parachute deploying.

@How to be wise Bits and bits of fear come undone. I as an ego mind am very resilient, I have to keep on it to avoid getting to comfortable and safe.

@LastThursday I will look into the bungee jumping! Surrender is an unavoidable aspect of this work, so of course more of it will come in time for me. Nice photos, that's courage.

@MsNobody Wow your comments are very inspirational! I am also proud of you going pro. I imagine you all that have jumped multiple times have a different moment of fear and anticipation. Friends and family are as shocked as I am, I will do at least one more jump to motivate them if they need it and go with next time. My instructor was persuading me a bit to go pro and explained the program to me before I left. I am already trained as a zipline adventure guide and helped many people face that fear in the past. I am a creative person, so my work will likely be something different but going pro is not off the table.

This was very intriguing. I can tell the wide arsenal of techniques you use outside of boxing have paid you dividends, especially the extra sensory perception. That's an amazing fruit of your work.

Right on. It's a do it scared type of thing and having no control actually makes it easier. The battle is all the thoughts and feelings leading up to it. If you decide to jump as well, I look forward to debriefing you.

I went to this skydiving facility on three separate occasions, the first two times were thwarted by weather. So I ended up having to go through the anticipation of it a few times. Luckily 3rd times the charm. My mindset was to just keep moving through the process, once I'm in the air I'm committed and there's only one way down. I wanted to share insights I had after the experience and some of thoughts during it. The initial exit out of the plane was the most intense, the moment I realized how "crazy" I am and "what am I doing?" The drop is so intense it feels like I instantly got pulled into a video game world. I thought I was committed riding the plane up. True commitment was realized as I nosedived back to earth. Insights: "Truly living life is what I am most afraid of" This was put into crystal clear perspective for me. It's not these big moments like skydiving, it's all the little ways I avoid fear and commitment. Committing to someone in a relationship is just like that dive out of the plane, as are all commitments. It's understanding that you don't know what's going to happen and that there are more variables than you have control over. "Gravity is a symbol for limitation within Consciousness". Jumping out of the plane, in all its counter-intuitive glory is surrender. I can't control gravity. It's going to pull me down, I don't have wings and I can't fly. Skydiving is powerful because it's you vs. lack of control, of which the ego is deeply afraid. The amazingness of the experience is only possible because I am limited. I watched my skydive video back, and didn't notice myself anymore. I noticed in the video a more powerful force, something greater than me piloting this body. I wept as a thought floated through my mind "is that me?" "who is this man?" as if I hadn't just done it hours before. I was frightened by own actions, my own dedication. This dive deepened my self-love more than many experiences. Between meditation retreats, 5-MeO, skydiving and personal development I can say the work can be grueling, horrifying and depressing but also deeply freeing and illuminating. I just wanted to share this experience and also recommend it to anyone who needs that jolt or wake up call. It's a very powerful experience. I see tremendous value in using skydiving and things like it as another tool in your toolbox of development and awareness.

I call everything that can be know in form an "artifacts within consciousness". I like that you also discovered your inner self containing artifacts. Trauma, love, memories are all artifacts.

Instead of presenting the advanced view to them, try: -Asking them powerful questions -Putting them through a visualization

The excuse for ignorance is that it is preferable to growing intelligence and awareness. Both of which lead to greater understanding of the reality and world we live in. This understanding then creates suffering, anxiety and angst in the one that grows to understand. The avoidance of those feelings is why ignorance is so prevalent. Anything to be had that sits behind things like suffering and boredom will be avoided by most people. "Ignorance is bliss". You have to change when you know better and change means death to a part of you. Examples include: using less AI when you find out how much water is used to cool it, not eating meat when you see the conditions under which the animal is raised etc.

Very detailed and nuanced awakening, awakening can put so much into context. The part about spiritual work being done on the self if very insightful. The part about therapy as well, as someone who has done his fair share. Thank You, I look forward to your future reports.

A month and half ago I set up a modified meditation retreat for myself due to some time constraints and financial reasons at the time. I set it up with some rules to help keep it more focused. I went into the woods each day for seven days, except day four in order to: meditate (mindfulness with labeling, do nothing, strong determination), do concentration work, some contemplation and some breathwork. At the end of each day I returned home, I did not use the internet (or my computer for that matter) or engage with social media and phone distractions. I had two goals: to break out of my routine and unconsciousness and if the stars aligned an awakening at some point. I wanted to see what meditation could really do, 5-MeO in the past obviously exposed manual techniques to me. I meditated between 6-8 hours each day, day four I focused on contemplation and writing identities down and deconstructing them then meditated at the end of that day. The meditation did what I expected, frustrated me, bored me, made me want to quit etc. I was DONE by Day 7, I wanted the MMR to be over. Day 7, I began to feel a sensation right in the center of my forehead while meditating, a thought crossed my mind "what is this, chakra?", I chuckled as I'm not into new age so much and don't really know a whole bunch about it. I finally decided that it was a trick, my mind using whatever it could to distract me from the present moment. I'm still not sure if it is significant or not. At the end of Day 7, in my frustration from lack or results, I grab a 5mg THC edible and cut it up into four pieces. I had been using these really tiny (1.25mg). The night time came and I turned on music and started to dance. At one point, my moves start to get REALLY good, I'm in the zone. Then the moves get silly, but still good (I wish I had turned my webcam on to record, I didn't think to as my PC was still off from the retreat week). Then I sort of decide to just become a puppet. It started to feel as if I was being watched by something that wanted to kill me. I just upped the ante as I realized that, and surrendered into my dance even more. A few seconds after that, I started to become conscious of chaos before order. Heartrate shot up rather quickly, and a subtle "nope" in my thoughts. The same primordial chaos and horrifying Infiniteness I had experienced on 5-MeO months prior. Then I was consumed by it, Insanity wrecking me for a short duration, maybe 2-4 minutes. This is the second time, I have danced into an awakening. It don't get it on low doses of magic mushrooms, or on just weed, or with just dance, just meditation or anything in isolation. 1st Time. 2g Magic Mushrooms (trip ends and a few hours pass) >> tiny dose of THC (1.25mg) >> dance = awakening 2nd Time. 7 Days of meditation >> tiny does of THC >> dance = awakening I do have ADHD and am a very clever mind so my theory here, is that my mind is simply too evasive and creative to have a one hit wonder awakening (except with 5-MeO). My mind, despite my wishes not to desire or 'produce' an awakening (since I can't will it or make it happen), simply tries to control everything too much. The 1st time was obviously shocking, but now I have some evidence of a pattern. Perhaps if you are like me, and are very mental, dance or some dynamic body work might be useful for surrender. I want to add that this may not work if you haven't had your first 5-MeO experience, as I believe that it primed me for all this that has taken place since. Leo mentioned on his blog post that state>effort, and I think I demonstrated that with my work here. I was wanting to follow up and test this sequence a 3rd time, but decided to leave THC alone after learning more about the possibility of schizophrenia. Instead what I may try in the future, is dancing into surrender while using psychedelics. I was also contemplating on how my mind is perhaps slapping the label of "chaotic" on my awakenings. Since psychedelics reflect the inner world, the chaos I'm experiencing is perhaps my mind trying to make sense out of Infinity and labeling it instead of letting go more. It could also just be a reflection of my own chaotic daily ego chatter or disorganization in my daily life. I need more awakenings to see what's really happening there.