LambdaDelta

You should be concerned with degradation. It can last a couple years, but beyond that it will almost surely start losing potency. Proper storage practice can extend that a good deal. No air (vacuum sealed), no sunlight, and freezed. For long term I put my chemicals in 2 layers of zipper bags, carefully squeezed to let the air out, placed in the freezer at -18°C. I've gotten MXE stored in a similar way since around 2013 and still active. As for the amount, that will depend on the frequency of tripping. Assuming a trip every 2 weeks at 30mg, 10 grams will last you like 13 years.

Grade 4 (some classification systems don't even go that high and stop at 3) is pretty serious, you're very lucky to not have pain or discomfort. I've had grade 3 on left lateral for many years, did an embolization for that 2 years ago, which helped, but only in that area, and it gradually shifted to bottom left, perhaps due to not blocking enough veins or bad technique. Nasty pains and overall feeling. Had a repeat surgery a little over a month ago and it's going much better. I find that some of the main things to avoid/limit with varicocele is heat exposure and sexual activity, that strains the veins further. With cold showers and abstinence I have a much easier time managing and healing it. Unsure about testicular hypotrophy, likely that was part of the diagnosis and I forgot, that didn't concern me, just wanted to get rid of the pain. You'll probably want to have some intervention done, embolization is one of the least intrusive, but that's something the doctor will have to select based on severity and whatnot. Ideally insurance would cover it as it did for me.

I've recently committed to making some important changes in my life, mostly related to more basic personal development, but also holistically intertwined with the larger picture of how I approach spirituality. Will soon put those to writing for better accountability and progress tracking. The shifts are already noticeable after a short amount of time, largely in that the level of satisfaction and purpose is on a steady rise. Gratitude and emotions too. But that's the good stuff, not quite what this topic is about. Par for the course, these last two days I've been having rather intense ego backlashes. These mainly manifested physically as unbearable itchiness all over the body, both in public and at home, red rashes appearing on the skin, I believe that's called hives. From past experiences I know that's a telltale sign of shame, embarrassment, and just general discomfort with the present situation. The ego doesn't like this new direction, and is trying to get its way though force. Today, during a particularly agonizing episode, I'm talking writhing on the floor for minutes on end, I've turned inwards and started a conversation with myself. I said to the ego "Look, as much as you try to separate yourself from me and the rest of reality, that's ultimately futile, we're all in the same boat here. So if you want to make me suffer, so be it, but you'll suffer right with me. We'll do this as long as required. Also, reflect on the past. All the doomscrolling, jerking off, rewatching the same crap, sleeping 12 hours a day, doing drugs, being lazy, unmotivated, and undisciplined doesn't really work. A lot of the time we're bored out of our mind, jumping from one thing to the next. Instead, from now on, you take the backseat, and I'll get us to where we need to go, a place of subtle, but consistent fulfillment. I'll allow some room for your devilry and bias, but in a healthy way, such that it contributes to the higher purpose in the grand scheme. What say you?" And what do you know, the attack quickly subsided. Surrender strikes again. Basically the "Dormammu, I've come to bargain!" scene from Dr. Strange: Now, that surely doesn't mean it's over, the Devil will play ball for now, but in the background devise new, ever more elaborate schemes to fall back into old habits, and make me believe that's what I actually want. With this new technique in the arsenal, it'll be a bit easier to counteract that though. Well, that does it, perhaps will be of help to someone.

That's right, Love is Truth, a 1:1 correspondence of reality to itself, without any rejections, denials, or omissions. YHWH's 'I AM that I AM' is Love.

That's the bulk of it, though there's also extremes that I like to venture into, which sometimes backfire. I posted recently about getting stuck in a state of consciousness so bland I tried to off myself after mere hours of it. Gets me thinking about personalized hells. To imagine God loves even that is both moving and terrifying. Yeah, that's cool for a change! There's a good deal of supernatural powers in those fields that can be cultivated. That ties in nicely with the topics of authority, social matrix, limiting beliefs, and such. Lots of holism

Just remove the forum already, that's so primitive. Everyone here should learn to communicate telepathically, synchronizing knowledge, insights, and experiences, transcending language and other material means of communication.

Don't think so, it would get old fast, and I'd much more likely be driven mad by all the foreknowledge. An occasional trip down the memory lane aided by psychedelics is another matter though, sign me up. The nostalgia is so great precisely because of how melancholic and bittersweet it is, the memories are hazy like images in Plato's cave, yet we cherish them nonetheless, the fleeting nature is a major part of the value. They say hindsight is 20/20, but that could also work in the other direction, if you study and understand enough domains of human life through the past and present, a prediction ability almost akin to clairvoyance could be developed. That IMO is much cooler and more rewarding, plus the mystery aspect remains to some extent. I've been observing this larger theme of limitation lately, as limited beings the grass sure seems greener on the other side, but most satisfaction is derived from constraints, like a perpetual motion machine, always reaching for something, but never quite getting there. Living life as the limit approaching infinity, however far you manage to get, and then in death you become infinity at last. On this topic, I've always had dreams that show the future. Nothing meaningful, so I'm not a millionaire from betting on sports, but they're 100% accurate down to the minute details. These grant me the ability to act with more freedom, as the fact that I keep having them means whatever I do next, it will turn out fine, as the future has already taken place. Time is one hell of a strange loop. Fascinating thought experiment, if one were to gather every person in the world and have them continuously and unanimously deny one's existence, how many would fall prey to that gaslighting? Would being aware of cogito ergo sum be of any help? What about different methods of denial, could be active, straight up proclaiming you don't exist, or passive, whereby everyone simply refuses to acknowledge your presence no matter what you try. There's sure to be lots of dissonance either way, but the former is likely to be less taxing on the mind. Could this actually lead to developing a stronger sense of self/autonomy, as you directly experience your independence of the others' perspectives? Or, if driven to suicide from despair, in a twisted way it could be said the denial worked, you removed yourself from existence. Creates a bit of a paradox, gotta love the mind's games. Testing could be performed in a Truman Show-esque fashion, but that'd be highly unethical and logistically challenging. Oh well, theory's plenty.

Right, had a similar experience some time ago, the intention was to achieve complete omniscience. The requisites were simple (for that state of consciousnes) – infinite explication and transcendence of time. But joke's on me, that only applies to static infinity. In the dynamic ever-generating context, time or speed aren't the constraint, infinity itself is. There's an asymptotic quality to it, the omniscience is paradoxically complete and incomplete simultaneously, it's only complete relative to the present state. Plus that infinity must also include the unknown/unknowable. Since then I've geared more towards exploring rather than understanding, like a consciousness tourist

Rewatched Amadeus for who knows what time, at least 10th, so damn good! If that doesn't count, started Barry Lyndon, need to finish

Having tried too many of them to count, 3-HO-PCP takes the cake for me. Whatever aspect of reality I want to explore, it can take me there. Not even acid is this versatile. It's not a psychedelic in the strictest sense, rather a dissociative. It is however too potent for most to handle. But in general, combining tryptamines with dissociatives yields very good results, the substances don't matter all that much, they'll synergize reliably. The former will expand your consciousness, and the latter make it fluid. 2C-E is a good close second, it's about to go extinct though Recently I finally had very promising results with 5-MeO-DMT, so perhaps I'll be joining that cult in the near future (that's all personal opinion from tons of experience, your mileage may vary greatly) I mean, actual LSD-25 is as hard (or easy) to get in the Netherlands as any other place. Thankfully there's a large market of analogues that are nearly identical or even speculated to be prodrugs. 1P, 1cP, 1Bz, 1D, 1V-LSD... the entire fucken alphabet. Still, there's subtle but important differences that make the original the best. Plus the research chemical market is likely to take a big hit tomorrow. There's replacements in the making, but the chemists tell me they'll become crappier as the pool of legal options shrinks.

The immediate solution, just distract yourself with anything when the urges are getting to close for comfort. To actually get results, you need a concrete motivation, some higher purpose. The benefits proposed by nofap are too abstract, and framing it as a challenge is nonsense. I tried that on and off for years, doesn't work, eventually you get bored and fall back. The mind is incredibly sneaky especially when it comes to stuff like this. It will absolutely trick you in devilishly elaborate ways. What you could do is replace masturbation with meditation, they even sound alike. If you're like me, you're probably not meditating enough anyway. Install a cognitive filter that will preemptively force you into a mediative state when you start getting lost in sexual fantasies. The 'why' of nofap must be stronger than any desire, otherwise it'll fail. I've searched long and hard for that and got it at last, it's simply incompatible with and harmful to the direction I'm taking in life. Granted, I still relapse occasionally as it's only the beginning, but maintaining streaks has become almost effortless. Similar example, 8 months ago I quit a smoking habit of 10 years in a single day to pursue my love for hiking and mountaineering. The health they demand can't be had when you're putting shit in your lungs. Got zero cravings, such is the power of passion. Lastly, you can use the technique Leo proposed in one of the videos - rewire your mind such that you derive more satisfaction from not doing a harmful activity than you would from engaging in it. It is hard and painful at first, but really does work, I've successfully applied it in several areas. Good luck

Depends, if we count the thousands of years I spent in other dimensions, then absolutely, it's been going slow. Otherwise the opposite, time's moving faster, apparently that happens to most people with age.

Self-deception on psychedelics – Pseudo God-consciousness A few days ago I had a trip on 5g of GT mushrooms after an uncharacteristically long break. The experience was polarizing to say the least, but in the end I'm glad I had it. Prior to that I vaped some O-PCE, and didn't have a particular direction or intention, just wished to see what arises. Well, perhaps I was a little curious as to why I'd never encountered any entities. Knowing they're simply projections of my mind has made the entire concept redundant, but still. Sure enough, I'd soon meet some. From the beginning the vibes were a little off. I was feeling a surge of energy within me, like I imagine a sudden Kundalini awakening would feel. I had no control of this, which is fine, but I brought a bucket for vomiting just in case. Gradually the trip ramped up and I was transported to some looney-land in the 6th dimension. It was all very bizzare, the entities were doll-like. From the way they interacted, their day to day lives were fairly similar to humans. I was taken through hospital machines on a rollercoaster, it seemed as though the purity of my soul was being tested. Fail, and the trip turns nightmarish. That lasted for some amount of time and I passed in the end, but was somewhat shaken. In the background I was conscious that I was doing this to myself, but through the entire ordeal I was paralyzed, so it didn't feel like that. Now the fun part starts. With the peak approaching, the holistic perception also got maxxed out. Only in this case it was a fake holism, taking dozens of relative truths I encountered during the last few months and synthesizing them into a grand narrative, seeing patterns where there are none. Everything clicked and it made so much sense. In fact it was so obvious I thought myself a fool for not seeing it sooner, and questioned whether everyone else on the path was already aware of it, with only me left in the dark till now. That was accompanied by a strong sense of deja vu, as if I'd grasped it all before but chose to forget because of how immense it was. I don't recall many elements right now, nor are they particularly relevant since it all turned out to be a dud, but in essence I thought I had discovered a human God mode, a cheat code to life that'd let me make money out of nothing, learn everything I wanted to in a matter of weeks, achieve near-impossible things with little effort, and so on. Plus some rather ridiculous bits of conspiratorial thinking. In retrospect, the issue was that I forgot to remove the ego from the equation, so the perception was warped, but not badly enough for me to notice right away, before it was too late. The best lies have a sliver of truth in them though, so there was also an ineffable experience of absolute beauty and divine creativity. Just amazing, no words for how inspiring it was. From that lens, it was my best trip yet. With that accompaniment, it shifted into a higher gear. Now I was dealing with the very laws of physics, time, creating human consciousness out of nothing, etc. I had a feeling it could go to an entirely new dimension of awakening if I only just looked at myself in the mirror and accepted the entirety of the universe, yet I was stalling on that, wanting to experience the creative mode some more, which was gradually beginning to weigh down on me, literally my legs got so weak I had to support myself on the bathroom sink to not fall down. Time started to loop. As I was reconfiguring the universe in my mind, there was always this or that that I wanted to adjust, never settling on a single design, as I knew whatever I chose, there'd be no changing that later and nobody to blame but myself should something be lacking, so I'd reset it every time. It felt like I spent a very, very long time in that headspace. Seemingly settling on something at last, the last change took place, a complete 180, towards what you might call a bad trip. I was locked into a mode of perception so neutral and bland it was sickening. Nothing alike the peaceful 'reality as it is' meditative state. It's difficult to describe, just that it was utterly devoid of creativity, imagination, individuality, artistry, and other such qualities, as though they were permanently stripped away. So static, so boring, so deterministic, so hollow. Whatever I did, clearly some wires got crossed wrong. I felt that I doomed myself and everyone else to this monstrous mode of being, and started to apologize repeatedly. This wouldn't subside for hours, I couldn't shake it off or fall asleep. The only available option now was death, to wipe it all away and return to a void of nothingness. For some reason I thought a medium dose of etizolam would kill me, so I took that, and eventually blacked out, taking a long nap. To conclude, that was a multi-faceted, powerful, and humbling experience. Just what I needed after an extended break before diving even deeper. A reminder to not let the ego interfere, else you risk messing with things beyond your comprehension and ability. Had I possesed infinite intelligence then, I wouldn't have wanted to change anything, but that's not what happened. If you think ordinary self-deception is bad, wait till you're self-deceived on a psychedelic Well, that was fun!

As I seem to be rather forgetful lately, it feels appropriate to redirect the ever increasing flood of semi-refined insights and observations from my mind to a more reliable container. Aside from those, I'll post questions for contemplation, random trivia and similar content of interest, my ongoing experiments with research chemicals/psychedelics, changes/commitments I'm making, techniques I'm trying out or discovering, and so on. Basically, a blend between a journal and a blog, with no sugarcoating — however embarrassing or controversial things may turn out to be. Should anyone feels inclined to interact, that's welcome! Let the curtains rise...

If you buy/convert it to HCL or fumarate, yes. Otherwise that's inadvisable with freebase, it's very poorly water soluble and will burn. You could take it orally with a harmala extract.

What if reality is a manifestation of the Self?

Possible. A full glass shouldn't be that bitter with only 20mg.

It's certainly a less mind heavy psychedelic than those two. There's some empathogen properties and lots of visuals. No body load, uncharacteristically so for the class. Though it's certainly possible to go deep with it. One of my most major awakenings was with 2C-B, though on 120mg. You'll want to do something like 15-20 first time and see how's that. Pills/presses are fine, but they could be underdosed (most are said to be 20mg I believe), and contain potentially harmful adulterants. If possible, always get powder. You can put it in a capsule and swallow. The pure taste is awful.

I wonder how effective most of those would actually be in aerosol form... some vaporize well, but that's not quite the same. Should the ethics not be so much of a concern, there already exist fitting substances: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/EA-3167 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/3-Quinuclidinyl_benzilate EA-3167, the anticholinergic deliriant, effective at 200μg and lasting up to 10 days, and a less potent but more researched and versatile BZ/QNB. I'm sure you wanted to explore a more compassionate way for warfare, but who said devilry isn't fun. With such dirty souls, even the 'good' psychedelics are bound to mostly produce bad trips, especially if administered suddenly. There's also the age-old idea to use psychedelics in capital punishment, to not actually send people to prison for 20 years, but make it be perceived as such. Though it's quite fantastical, the most reliable class for time distortion is the salvinorins, and even that is nothing close to consistent.

Sounds awesome, that's what it's all about! Interesting how it happened sober, I've had similarly crazy and unexpected experiences lately, I believe some neuroplasticity is involved there.

Ah, halt thy stride and flee me not, O fair Moon!

No, although granted it's always better to use water where possible. The real issue is alot of DMSO on the market is not up to spec and can therefore be dangerous.

Happy to help! I myself was quite resistant to the volumetric dosing before, but now after powering through the initial confusion it's simplified stuff for me a lot, so I totally get you. Especially for stuff like long term storage, I now prepare a vial and that's at least 10 doses right there, plug and play, before I'd do a procedure like in Leo's video every time I wanted to dose, so inconvenient looking back. Not to mention when the significance of imprecision is in micrograms, not milligrams, there's really no other choice Good luck with your tripping

I believe 5-MeO-DMT isn't active orally, so no. But you could plug it. Either way you'd want to use a syringe for delivery, squishing inside your mouth or rectum The math is really hard to get wrong, say you want a 10mg/ml concentration, and store in a 10ml vial. You'd dissolve 100mg of substance in 10ml of water or whatever, stir, and done. Can be stored in the fridge for better preservation. When plugging, if you need 5mg, take 0.5ml with your 1ml syringe. The entire 1ml for 10mg dose, and so on. If you want to go the insufflation route just be extra careful with measurements, achieving accurate 5mg lines is damn near impossible

I don't have experience with the natural vasodilators, but it makes sense they work, akin to ginger powder before a mushroom/truffle trip to help with the nausea. There's a pharmaceutical vasodilator called Clonidine, and others, that can do the same job. I hear it also helps to reduce the anxiety, though the primary function is eliminating physical discomfort. Personally I don't really notice the vasoconstriction that much during the actual trip, too busy with insights and all that other crap. It's the comedown that becomes annoying. LSD, DOx, 2C-E are all pretty heavy bodyloads. My method is to kill the trip at that point with benzos, the muscle tension relief is pleasurable on its own. Though that might not work so well if you need to function after the trip.