LambdaDelta

Unlike God, we must start somewhere, so how about this – in a way, spiritual teachers, provided they themselves understand it, trick you. "When you die, you merge into an ocean of Infinite Love". Sure, but what does that actually mean? There'll be no more 'you' to bask in this Love. It's not some super-version of heaven that doesn't end at materialistic pleasures like sex and food. By becoming God you become Nothing. Being Nothing means being the backdrop for everything. But not to worry, God is so intelligent it has designed itself such that no situation is inescapable. No matter how painful one's life gets, there's always death to grant them peace. Similarly, life is the way out of death. Only God has the burden of remaining Nothing forever. You, on the other hand, can eventually be re-imagined into some other form, be it a hyper-dimensional entity, or a worm. By grasping this, you appreciate life for what it is at a deep level, and thank God for what it's giving you. Awakening is as much a gift from God to you as from you to it. You're God's proxy via which Nothing can be something. There are things in this life not even God can do, only you! Does the ocean feel how refreshing it is to bathe in it after a hot day? No, only a human does. God is so selfless and united that it has virtually no capacity to choose between loving and hating, between acting good and evil, it cannot ask for forgiveness or forgive. It is those things so fundamentally that there's no options whatsoever. If that can't make one fall in love with life, probably nothing can. This further explains why God loves acts of hate and evil as much as anything else – it's celebrating its parts making a sovereign choice. Still, only through acts of love and goodness can you understand God at the innermost depths, because that's how it came into being. But you need your fair share of evil prior to that to contrast, compare, and consciously choose the other way. To get here you can't be attached to anything, no thing can be held as sacred, including your own awakenings to God. Question those, in the end if they're true, all your questioning will do is reinforce them. If you're afraid to question them, they're phony. You can't even be attached to Truth, God isn't. There's Nothing there to be attached to. If you truly loved God, you'd love what it is, not how it can appear or be imagined. And that's the hardest job there is. God will always love you more than you love it. What's hard isn't even accepting and loving all the evils, nor living through them, it's silently being the foundation upon which everything is taking place. With this in mind we can reframe the prayer of "give unto me all that you are" from a desire for knowledge, experience, or power to a request to share the burden, if only momentarily, to understand and appreciate it. God is Atlas holding up the heavens, and your herculean task is to see that and say thank you. The only rule God cannot undo is itself. God so fundamental it cannot not Be. To Be is God's Will. As the uncaused cause, God caused itself. It's beyond reason, making it the highest Love and Good. That's why true acts of goodness have no reason behind them, it's the only way to match the Goodness of God. For the infinity of forms to continue being imagined, the actual God must remain Nothing for eternity. If God were to choose to become Something, the process ceases. All of reality gets stuck on that Something, no longer able to be something else. But God can't do that, it's too selfless and good. Nor would it want to since it's too intelligent. The true form of Solipsism is being conscious that all experience is your experience, as such you're not missing out on anything, everyone and everything is right here in your heart, even as there's some 'walls' separating you, like being different people or composed of different matter. Solipsism is omniscience. The highest Love is simply Identity, which is another word for Unity. Speaking of identity, the identity matrix comes to mind; it has several unique properties of interest – being its own inverse, a scalar (and the origin of every other scalar), symmetry, and full linear independence of both rows and columns (no part of it can be defined by a combination of other parts), plus all of its vectors are orthonormal (unit length of 1, dot product equal to 0). There are infinitely many orthonormal bases for any vector space R^n, but they're relational projections of the identity. They have no meaning except as transformations of it. And so, identity is the canonical basis – the basis of all bases. So neutral it leaves every transformation unchanged, yet so essential it underlies them all. The zero dot product, or perpendicularity, implies an explosion of infinity in all directions. Such vectors share no component in each other’s direction, they are maximally distinct, optimized for diversity. Otherwise you have redundancy, dependence. Identity is the still center of this infinite dance, the origin of the Cartesian plane. Why's everyone so selfish and biased anyway? They're finite, that's simple enough, however there's more to the story. What does it mean to be finite, really? It's an imagined distinction, there absolutely cannot be finite things within Infinity. All you're doing is taking an infinite list and slicing it from this to that index, but that doesn't change what's within the list, it still contains the initial list, furthermore what's doing the slicing is the list itself. Take the AI revolution for instance. There's a whole debate going on how AI has been trained on billions of stolen art images and now can produce works that put the real artists out of a job. And the artists are baffled by how everyone else is so selfish that they don't care about this, they just want their free art instantly instead of paying a commission and waiting several days. What they don't understand, in their own selfishness as artists, is that they're a tiny speck in the overall evolution of humanity. This transformation is a necessity that entails sacrifice, but of course someone who puts food on their table by drawing art will refuse to understand and admit it. Nor could you tell them that or force it. The same situation has been happening all throughout history, in WW2 close to 80 million people had to die for nations to collectively come up with a concept of universal human rights, it did not exist before this massive suffering. And still today it's being enforced imperfectly and loosely, but it's better than nothing. Just that nobody can look beyond their selfish limited timespans. They can see, but they won't look. Conservatives want to preserve and enforce their ideology, they can't admit to the fact that humanity is moving beyond that. Liberals are so impatient and immature that they want their progress here and now, they can't even wait for the current conservatives to die out organically and for humanity to smoothly enter a new phase. So everyone's always fighting between themselves, not understanding that this actually slows the process. But that too is a feature, it’s not just arbitrary chaos, at any given time the structure is in equilibrium. Enough liberals to conservatives, enough suffering to provoke growth, enough delusion to preserve the dream. The guitar string is tense enough to produce crisp sound instead of wobbling around pathetically, loose enough to not snap. And every idiot thinks they can improve this system by overriding it with their ideology. By being selfish you're unable to comprehend the selfishness of others, that is the source of all troubles. Worse still, you can't comprehend God. That's not an indictment of any kind. Notice that all the deadly sins and evils are just warped reflections of Love. Pride is sovereignty, lust is desire, sloth is stillness... Corruption is so, so fundamental! You couldn't be alive without being corrupt in some way. Forget all the suffering you inflict just by living, there's a more basic corruption going on, that of identifying with a finite form. How would you leave your house if you weren't dissociated from being your house? God can't be corrupt, only you can be corrupt for God. There's nothing in God to corrupt, ontologically. And why is God so immensely tricky to understand? Is it because it's some drama queen playing hard to get? Or a devil trying to deceive you? That's not it, the self-deception is for your own good. You might think you want to know God, but you most likely don't. You'll want some dumbed-down version of God that punishes sinners and rewards the just, a hippie God of unending sweet love for all, or a Buddhist God of No-Self. And God can certainly grant you all that within your fantasies, within certain boundaries. If that's your desire, God will manifest to you in those ways, all of your psychedelic trips could be about Mother Ayahuasca teaching you how to generate positive vibes. God can even play along and 'materially' enable your fantasies of it a little, that's how through collective delusion the Spanish Inquisition came to be. Fantasies influencing reality and reality influencing fantasies, it's a very important relationship. That said, it would be a mistake to try to take a mile when given an inch, God won't tolerate it. See the intelligence? Even though God can be whichever way you want in your fantasies, God itself will not change. No imagination is powerful enough to alter God. Your own imagination can't even imagine a planet into existence, a laughably low level. When God imagined itself into being, it already imagined itself as perfectly as could be, and that's a one-way ticket, now God is confined to this perfection. Just as there's rollback protection on a bootloader, there is one on God, except the latter absolutely cannot be undone or bypassed by any means. Even if God wanted to be less than perfect, it could not. God knows what you want way better than you ever could. Even with serious truth-seekers this is the case, God will reveal itself gradually and gently. If you think you're having a rough bad trip where the whole weight of infinity is crashing down on you, be assured that infinitely much more is being held back out of mercy. With each awakening you see just how limited and biased your previous understanding of God has been. It is the case for some people that their first awakening actually reveals everything, but the interpretation is corrupt, things are literally wiped from your memory, and all the work you do afterwards only serves to correct the misunderstandings and clear away space for truth to be invited back in, eventually closing the loop. In mystery novels, the reader answers 3 questions: whodunnit, howdunnit, whydunnit. It's the same with understanding God, only that the three are intertwined in inconceivable ways. A small detour for a personal story, a couple days ago I had a very long dream. Set in a kind of post-apocalyptic setting, quite a common theme nowadays of people getting replaced with skinwalkers and whatnot, the survivors banding together in a bunker and try to make it to the next day somehow, the confusion and paranoia this situation creates. There I was, and there was a girl named Eva, over the years we formed a really deep connection, I cannot say if it was romantic or platonic, it doesn't truly matter, the short of it is one day it came to light that she was one of those 'others'. The memory is hazy, I can't say what happened, either we killed her or she killed us, in any case it was very emotional, a mix of everything from joy to heartbreak, feelings as real as they come. In the end, if she was able to blend in for so long, how 'other' had she truly been? I woke up with a sense of melancholy and initially not really understanding where I am, it had been that long in the dream and I got so attached to it. Goes to show how attached one can grow to fantasy, irrespective of the truth-seeking that they do. And human life is a far more coherent, longer lasting fantasy than almost any dream. No wonder it's nearly impossible to wake up from on one's own accord. Yet from another perspective, I can also laugh at the fool that I am for falling for it. When you think about, reality is obvious, at least the utter self-evidence of it anyone could understand. The precise mechanics take an infinite intelligence to know. If God didn't know, there could be no reality, just like you can't fly a plane without knowing what each button does. God is your mother playing peek-a-boo and you're too stupid to recognize it, yet the memories of laughing in excitement with mom are precious nonetheless. Circling back to the essential nature of corruption, a prime example is refraction of light. The beam of light is bent while passing from one medium to another, distorting (corrupting) it. There's the light of God, and there you are, a big fat puddle that bends this beam within itself, creating some warped image. The denser the medium, the greater the distortion. Yet this is utterly fundamental to existence and beauty. Without that a prism couldn't function. The pure white light of Consciousness gets divided into a Multiplicity of colors. The root of all corruption, the original sin as it were, is infinity pretending to be finite. This fully describes all evils, wrongness, distortions, and misunderstandings imaginable. Leo has hit on something profound regarding fields. The gravitational and EM are infinite fields, yet supposedly exerted by some finite body, such as a planet. Simplifying a lot here, but in a loose GR sort of way there an infinite gravitational field, and celestial bodies fall through it, creating curvatures and appearing as though they themselves are exerting the field. These bodies co-opt the field's power presenting it as their own, in the same way that humans appropriate God's intelligence. Though from another angle describing gravity as a force is more Newtonian, but no matter. And yet, gravity is still a relative phenomenon. The pull is exerted from one object relative to another, no matter how disproportionate their masses. If there was just a single object in the universe, there would be no gravity to speak of. What does the infinitude of the gravitational field say about the amount of finite objects in the universe given its codependent definition? A small-scale Indra's Net is happening inside a material reality. If there were 100 objects in the universe, each with its own mass, there'd be N ways for the gravity to relate between them, meaning it's still finite. The only way for the gravitational field to be infinite is for there to be infinite finite objects, or for there to not be finite objects at all, which is really the same thing. The amount of unique pairwise relationships in a system of N objects is given by N(N-1)/2, a quadratic growth (the actual combinatorics are more complex, it's not just pairwise, each mass affects all others simultaneously, but let's roll with that). Which makes for an interesting link to the inverse square law. As you add bodies, the web of relations grows quadratically. As you space them out, the influence of each relation weakens quadratically. In other words: the more there is to love, the less any single bond can pull. Hence God is absolute unbiased Love, as there's an infinity to love. All the forces follow a similar logic. Polarity literally means duality. When a magnet's south attracts the north, or when a polar solvent dissolves a polar molecule, the same principles are taking place. The event horizon and singularity of a black hole resemble something I've been exploring for a while – hole consciousness, but in 3D. Hole consciousness is a metaphor for holes in function graphs. f(x) = 1/x has a hole at f(0). The graph bends about the origin, splitting a perfectly continuous line into 2 separate ones, due to how division by 0 works; it's undefined precisely because 1/0 is the same as 1/(0*-10), same as 1/(0*100↑100), in that way 0 is Infinity. You can't tell which number, if any, 0 is being multiplied by in that operation. While the event horizon is unobservable because it ate up all the light that it could be perceived with. Asymptotes and event horizon are the limits where weirdness starts to occur; the actual f(0) and singularity are the heart of the mystery. And speaking of functions, how is it that some finite symbols generate, or represent, something infinite? For that 1/x, the horizontal asymptote is 0, and the vertical asymptote is ± inf. A bit counter-intuitive since each direction describes the opposite axis. h.a. describes what the function value is as x approaches ±inf, v.a. is where x goes to undefined, which is at 0. But infinity and undefined are the same thing! There's nothing remaining to define infinity with. And infinity is 0. It's a trivial matter to make a trillion from 1, but try making 1 from 0. Only infinity allows for that kind of insane leap, which is God, which created itself. The following passage comes to mind: "The Akbarian Wahdat al-Wujud (Oneness of Being) transcends duality without denying it: Haqq is Haqq and khalq is khalq. To use numerical symbolism... the number 1,000 gets all its reality from the number 1, without which it is nothing. Even so, one cannot write 1 = 1,000 or 1,000 = 1, which would be to deny the unity of the one or the multiplicity of the multiple. The notion of theophany comes clear in its crucial sense: the three zeros of the number 1,000 (the word 'sifr', which designates zero means, precisely, 'nothing,’ ‘emptiness’) in themselves are nonexistent. But preceded by the number 1, they express the series of epiphanies by means of which this principal 1 manifests to itself and by which each is unique: an instantaneous lightning flash of a Name which is not God, but which is not, either, other than God." To become more godlike is to gradually change from a black hole, that can never be sated no matter how much it absorbs, into the sun that freely radiates love in all directions, it's so full of energy that the excess has to go somewhere. And when you do burn out eventually, disintegrate, and merge with the fabric of space, that will be the eternal rest, having given life to countless beings who'll never know you. An afterword; there's not perfect accuracy from a strict scientific perspective, far from it, but I took care to not abuse the concepts in service of rationalizing a belief of mine. That's about the most a good translation can accomplish – balancing literal faithfulness to the original text and a smooth poetic feel pleasant to the eye. All we're doing here is translation, words are corruption. With that, this manuscript is concluded.

No concrete experience per se, but at one point I was doing psychs so often that almost surely the above combination or a close relative of it was taken in under a two week period. No negative effects. You can do 5-MeO safely already, sufficient time has passed. 4-6 weeks is definitely nonsense. MDMA comedown is for ignorant suckers anyway. Without binging, clean product, and optionally supplementation, it will be no more taxing on the body than any other psych.

That would work too, although you could start smaller, switch the UI of your phone and various online services you use daily to the the target language. Previous knowledge of the labels will help you create associations quicker, but you'll also encounter new things. Reading comprehension most often precedes listening anyway. But whatever opportunity you have to expose yourself, take it, no matter how minor, it will all compound and many will cost you next to nothing. What is your target language by the way? It's more natural you'd struggle with an entirely new character set of Asian/African languages set than any of the Romance ones that more or less share the same letters among other similarities.

@ExploringReality your experiences are lovely. Can corroborate in large part, not as though you need that though. The first awakening always has a special place in the heart. Not the first time I'm seeing people report getting to the 'Nexus of Possibility' there, a curious pattern.

Here's several major ones in chronological order that I posted here, there's more that's scattered somewhere in AI chats and post history, can't cover it all. Neither is the deepest because every time a new one reveals ever more, built up on all the priors and provisional knowledge hitherto acquired. Consciousness is bottomless, so it follows that no awakening can encompass all of it. But you can stack sub-infinities. Also 2 days ago I posted what's essentially my current compendium of understanding all of reality, which it appears nobody has read. Whether that's due to the sheer length, an unassuming title, a relatively weak opener, or any number of potential reasons, I don't know. It might sound presumptuous, but if you read it thoughtfully, great value could be gained. It's not any particular awakening, rather an immense amount of notes stringed together in a (mostly) structured manner, a result of 40 days of intense contemplation since my last awakening. Some things can only be grasped in that way, psychedelics or a meditation retreat couldn't synthesize like that. Its purpose is already complete, but I'd be glad if anyone decides to check it out and give me their thoughts regardless.

Yes, this pace is unacceptable. You need lots of exposure, just not so mucn it overwhelms you. I learned English largely on YouTube, watching hours upon hours of content on any topic imaginable. For Spanish, I just got thrown into a public school class knowing only a couple words, had to scrape by somehow. The situation should almost be that you can't afford not to learn it. If such an environment is available, make use of it. Some tips: make good use of etymology. This'll come in handy everywhere, from understanding the origins of the word, to how it's changed over time, to how it's relevant to philosophical inquiry, if you do any. Quick example: indulgence. Not nany know this, but that used to be the document sold by the church to avoid some hellfire punishments for sins the buyer committed. Classic church corruption. Now the meaning is reflected by that context. Your best friend and a new perma-open tab should be the thesaurus, there you'll find synonyms ans related concepts. Even for one's native language all of this is still useful. Languages can be similar, but also very dissimilar. In Japanese almost all of your knowledge is useless since the sentence structure different. So, patters are still your friends, but when starting out, throw away all assumptions. If some appear like they would work, bring them back. Sentence structure aside, there's also stuff like order of adjectives that you want to get comfortable with. Always be asking the why, why does a thing work the way it does, that will fuel passion for learning more and cement the understanding. Same as with learning anything else really. The genetic predispositions and such play an undeniable role, but in the end it's a function of how implicitly you grasp a subject. If completely, you'll be a quick learner. But if you require a lot of explication to get a concept, that slows you down, not much more to do there other than get quicker through repetition.

Fantastic video, one of the best yet, it brings together so many of the prior ones in a beautiful synthesis. After the first one in the series I started investigating this on my own and reached similar conclusions. Such immense richness opens up, as if it couldn't get more incredible already. Mathematics is a great starting field, it's fairly simple and largely free of corruptible interpretations. Through contemplating functions, discontinuities, holes, inverses, limits, sets, truth tables, ordinals and cardinals; entirely new dimensions to Consciousness are unlocked. Plus you get to intuitively understand why it all works the way it does instead of seeing some nonsense Greek letters. Just gonna leave my stream of consciousness notes here, too exhausted to polish them further. Properties are an interesting start. Take a file on a computer, its properties would be things like MIME type, size on disk in bytes, creation date... what are these? Descriptors of a discrete object. Which assumes discrete objects, a space for them to exist in, separation and duality. But God is so all-encompassing that it has taken up everything, including the ways to describe it. God is its own property, described by inscribing itself into existence. When you have a thought about God, even if it's completely wrong or a denial, it's a description of God. And that's only a conceptual overlay on the actual infinity of God; part of what makes God infinite is precisely the fact that you can create an infinity of such overlays. Omniscience does not mean knowing everything, it means having the capacity to know infinitely, which is the same as Being everything. What can you prove? Think of a number, then prove to yourself that you thought of that one and not some other. You cannot, much less to anyone else. Consider for a moment that all your awakenings, however ineffable, have actually been a self-deception. Where does that leave you? Back to square one, it wouldn't resolve any mystery, you'd still have to explain how a deception so total could happen to a finite, material being. The very fact that your mind can just hallucinate whatever-the-fuck with no limits whatsoever is the proof that you are God. If I am not God, then my experiences of being God are hallucinations → These hallucinations display infinite creative power → Only God has infinite creative power, therefore, I am God. You could construct a variety of such proofs by negation that only strengthen the affirmation, though only after having completed the walk to the base camp of Mount Infinity. I AM is the ground you're looking for. Within those 3 letters (The Holy Trinity) are encoded the infinitely-explicatable arguments for God, arguments against, in all manner of logic systems, plus the sum total of the rest of reality. Which are the proofs for the proof. That can be distilled further. What about just the I, just the AM, or, hell, the empty space? Are these not enough on their own, or do they still fully encapsulate the entirety of God? They do, any part of God does it perfectly, that's why God is nothingness and is everything. However, that's for when you have infinite intelligence. The more intelligence you have, the less explication you require. God, who is infinitely intelligent, is the only one that can create something out of nothing, it's all entirely implicit. Then there's a rock that hasn't even the capacity in its design to grasp what explication, or anything at all, are. It just is. But the rock is still infinite intelligence, as its substance is God's Will. The rock explicates nothing, just like God, coming full-circle. And to connect this to Love and Goodness: Why's reality so diverse anyway, what purpose is there for an infinite intelligence to have explication, why go the extra step? To allow the parts of it that are not infinitely intelligent to express themselves, and perhaps grasp themselves, out of Love and Goodness, which have neither reason nor cause. And so, God is the uncaused cause. Here we are back again at Love = Truth. An infinite intelligence accepts itself entirely, it's not ashamed that within it are contained some very unintelligent and ugly parts, what makes it infinitely intelligent in the first place is the understanding that those are an absolute necessity, making it what it is, contributing equally to its Beauty and Perfection. If we conceive of God as an endless ladder, since it's infinite, there is no bottom, so relative to this imaginary bottom, even a relatively low step is still suspended infinitely high. What takes place is movement between those steps, or changes in states of consciousness. So while motion is an illusion, there's also an absolute, higher order motion taking place between the steps. The bottom would be absolute unconsciousness, or non-existence. And what of the top, the absolute consciousness? It's not a top, it's the entire ladder. Thinking about this shit is taxing work. But why is it taxing if energy expenditure is imaginary? Well, not in this state, right now it's as real as it gets. My consciousness is not high enough to un-imagine energy expenditure. God is such a whacky, incomprehensible miracle, that everyone takes it completely for granted. As well they should, the other side of the coin is that God is an absolute certainty, there couldn't not have been God. What's being missed is that a probability of 1 is itself a miracle. It's too perfect to be appreciated from a finite perspective. "An unreal thing cannot influence a real one" — the reason this logic is valid is not because an unreal thing is some intangible phantom that can't interfere with material reality, it's that there are only real things. The distinction between real and unreal must fall away. Truth as the sole reality is Imagination. It imagines everything for eternity, including a flipping of its own definition to falsehood, yet its essence is completely immutable. So while it all becomes obvious in hindsight, it's so diabolically tricky and slippery that the likelihood of getting through this minefield to just a proper foundational checkpoint is so miniscule one might as well just indulge in human shenanigans. At minimum, the requirement is a love for truth, without even knowing what it is at first, and the will to see it through. The price is a dear one — all that you think are, your whole waking life. Thermonuclear strikes on one's own mind must be continuously launched until enough cockroaches have been wiped out to make room for clear perception.

Perfect timing, right before tripping after a month's break.

I actually did the evil deeds list exercise of my own accord back in December. It's certainly integral for real development, however painful it may be. That's the purification taking place. Now I'll post it here, my corruption for all to see. There's two entries that have been omitted due to being admissions of criminality. The rest as-is. I'll also add another point I just recently became aware of: Let's see who can out-evil me. In a way, selflessness is like a higher order, meta-selfishness. It's your entire being, so aligning closer with it is the next evolutionary step. It's inefficient to be selfish because you're in opposition to yourself, constantly sabotaging yourself in various forms. A dizzying amount of work across all axes still remains, but I've finally crossed the boundary of willingly taking on this responsibility, so it'll be an enjoyable kind of pain.

People can't help it, it's a reflection of God's desire to explore all of itself. Most will stop at merely surface level curiosity or theorizing, it's a whole another thing to actually willingly experience such states, if only temporarily. You say that we don't know that they exist, that's a good and honest starting point for any inquiry. But then you categorically claim they do not and cannot exist. How do you know that? What would actually be unimaginably terrible is for those states to not exist, that would diminish God's Infinity. Hence God does not imagine the universe like that. In your bias against hell, you deny it reality, essentially conceptually killing it. Heaven and you have neither more nor less right to exist than hell and a rapist. It's a very good thing that reality is not ran by your, mine, or anyone else's whims and preferences. That would be true hell. God is all-giving and all-forgiving, which makes it Love. There's no incompatibilities within God whatsoever, it will grant existence to absolutely everything, irrespective of how monstrous or beautiful it is. Imagine if God had some personal bias against you and would deny you existence. You'd probably think that's an evil God. In doing so, God casts you out of heaven, which is existence itself. Non-existence, therefore, is the actual hell. But precisely because God is absolutely infinite, non-existence is not a thing. So rest easy. Not even God can go against its own infinitude. Even though some parts of God can inflict an enormous and disproportionate amount of suffering on other parts, it's all temporary, fleeting phenomena, it will not persist forever, in the end all returns to God where all is healed and reconciled. Finite as they may be, they're essential, inalienable, and irreducible parts. Take away a single number from the set of natural numbers and it's no longer infinite. But you can keep adding to it forever. That's how Consciousness is, or rather it's a set of all sets that includes itself in an infinite recursion. Its perfection is not a static notion, it's in the eternal autonomous engine towards ever more perfection. That you don't see this is no accident, no finite form can fully. To have this temporary experience as yourself you need to deny that everything else is also you, otherwise there'd be no distinctions. Currently you deny hell as it's threatening to you. Many people today still deny others humanity due to their religion or race. I deny a mosquito life by killing it, as I'm biased towards not getting malaria. As we all must. The design couldn't be more intelligent, intricate, twisted, and beautiful. Every act of denial, violence, cursing, is performed by none other than God, on itself, having tricked itself into believing there are discrete objects. Similarly, all kindness and love given by someone to you and from you to them, are done by you for you. The illusion of separation plays a vital role, because it's rather easy to just love yourself. It's also easy to not hurt yourself, but refusing to abuse others even though you don't experience the suffering is the mark of goodness. Loving those parts of yourself you consider separate, particularly those that threaten, scare, or repulse you, is the real challenge. In essence, spirituality is about a gradual transition from denial to acceptance, including the acceptance of the fact that all the progress you've made will turn to ash and loop back around to denial. The more you do of it, the smoother the passing into death will be. How far you'll go in this acceptance is entirely up to you, one could even go in the opposite direction and construct a fantasy through denying truth and affirming falsehoods. Those are acts of creation too, so God loves it all the same. In its mercy it has given people an infinite capacity to deny reality, some even deny the moon exists and no amount of evidence in the world could convince them otherwise, because they're sovereigns. Still, an excessive denial of reality brings about its own ways of suffering, as does truth, so choose your poison. Over time, truth is easier, as it becomes effortless to act intelligently in alignment with reality. When you wake up and say "When I think about heaven... I imagine THIS", your "THIS" is severely limited — to your thoughts, body, house, maybe the view of your neighborhood. It's merely a "this"; the "THIS" you're probably not imagining consciously is someone getting raped, tortured, eaten alive, dying from a terminal illness, having a psychotic break in terror, yet it is undeniably happening simultaneously with you imagining your heaven. And you as God are personally responsible for it all. A heavy burden indeed, hence barely anyone chooses to perceive it. "All is imaginary" won't cut it as an excuse as by that point you're conscious that there's nothing more real than imagination. Yet that is Truth, and the unconditional acceptance of it is Love. Truth without Love is a cold, lifeless thing; Love without Truth is a fantasy. God has the highest power because it assumes full responsibility for everything, like a CEO or a leader of a country. But the CEO can blame the government for poor economic policy, and the president can blame some other country or weather conditions, while God can blame no one, there is no one else. That which you call unchanging bliss is the whole field of Consciousness within which all sorts of weird and impossible things are happening right this instant. Constant change is what's unchanging about it. There won't really be a you to 'enjoy' the bliss, but you'll no longer be separate from it either, which is the happiness of reunification. Better experience it partially as much as possible before then, as this perspective is unique, there won't be another like it. You could opt to stay statically dissolved in Love as long as you like, but it's a certainty that eventually the process of division will begin anew.

Splendid. Thanks to this I've gained clarity on some previously elusive aspects of my relationship to sexuality. Funnily it's pretty much the polar opposite of your experience, but truth is sometimes best seen through contrast. You have my gratitude.

Worst thing that can happen is they've gone inactive, even that is unlikely.

It's possible. Freebase LSD absorbs better into the blotter paper, while salts come off easier, though you likely don't have information which form your tabs were laid with. If you were to do this, you'll need volumetric dosing, not just throwing it into a large bottle and eyeballing sips. Get a vial like 10ml, preferably amber glass for UV protection, cut the tab(s) to small pieces, soak them in 10ml of distilled (important, chlorine will break LSD down) water, let sit for 24h+, pour liquid into vial somehow. I used 8 tabs of ~250ug to get a 200ug/ml concentration in 10ml of aqueous solution. For microdising you'd probably want maybe 100 per ml, simple to measure, i.e. 1/5 of a ml syringe would be 20ug and so on. Depends on what you have to work with. Otherwise it'd basically be more precise to split the tab into even pieces with an x-acto knife or something than dissolving without measurements.

Course you wouldn't want that. Even as an experiment that wouldn't end well, and that right soon. Deliriants don't end at datura and similar plants, just as an example though all you'd want from datura is the scopolamine, rest is useless poison, that already reduces negative effects significantly. Same thing with Salvia, you don't need the plant gunk, only Salvinorin A. The vast majority of people do psychedelics very unconsciously in different ways. Changing that to combine it with hard science understanding behind how those things work is where the real good things can happen. Which is its own form of effort, I spend dozens of hours researching all that shit and experimenting with it in the lab. Nor is everyday or any kind of regularity even necessary, a real breakthrough will leave you with material to work with for a while. I'd consider such an altered state that one can sustain indefinitely as more of a really elevated state that becomes the new baseline than peak consciousness states. Not talking about any substances here, just good old hardcore meditation. At the end of the day one has to at least pause once every now and then to perform basic bodily functions, else their state wouldn't persist for very long. Even such minor distractions already distort the state.

So do I, but of a different kind. There's no denying some things are only possible sober, and others 'under the influence'. It needn't be an even balance either, one could lean into one or ther other more or less heavily when the time is right. People have been over this with you, just do whatever works. Everybody's out here sharing experiences and opinions, that's all this is, there ain't no prescriptions. Don't assume delirium must be chaotic like it usually is, be open to the possibility it doesn't have to be this way. That would be a novel technique, currently it's more likely to be a flop, but that's the scientific method for you. 'Clean' is still an altered state relative to your regular one where you post on forums and do other survival stuff. All depends on the definitions you use. In the end it's all the same consciousness acting on itself.

That Daniel and Tesla could do it without drugs doesn't mean you and I can. Maybe you can, I don't know. Others just naturally see ghosts and whatnot. But those are rare talents.

Still, it's less likely to make scientific discoveries on LSD than it would be in controlled delirium. Although...

I don't recall any spiritual aspect. It's a bit fuzzy at this point, I can say I spent it all in some barren dimension with little to no food but also no need to eat, dreadfully boring. There may have been some story spun up about how I got there, perhaps through a failed sci-fi experiment, time-travel or some such. Either way after some time you just get used to it and don't question as much anymore. Mysterious things are happening, just as there's obfuscation there's deobfuscation or reconstruction, as each jewel in Indra's Net reflects all the others it's possible to 'rebuild' the whole thing from just one; that's how I imagine I came back from it despite the new reality gradually superseding the prior one. What you describe is no doubt possible, it matches with some reports and the vial/tube consciousness dimension I discovered where one wakes up Matrix style after initiating the trip inside, or the switching of avatars, or simultaneous perception of timeframes. There's also been times where I play one of Leo's videos and become conscious of how I recorded it through him for myself, there's even personalized content that's totally not in the 'public' version. In other instances try as you might this consciousness won't open up, you might even think you've hallucinated it, basically gaslighting yourself, until experiencing it enough times to erase all skepticism. It's all very tailored, things are wiped from your memory till just the right instant. Understanding synchronicity is an important part of the mechanics of how God creates, it's the most elegant and beautiful way to interweave reality, but precisely because it's all so tangled up it's supremely confusing to us mortals.

There's a spectrum of visuals if you will, at one end there's the classic psychedelic ones, fractal geometry and such, and opposite that are delirium visuals. Ketamine and other dissos alone are closer to the psychedelic side, what I like to call void symbols. What you just did pretty much sits right in the middle. MDMA with Pregabalin or a similar combo is delirium with a pinch of psychedelia, and lastly the pure delirium you get from antihistamines/anticholinergics. These are interestingly enough much more grounded in our baseline reality and as such could be more practically useful if that power can be harnessed in a controllable manner. For instance to achieve a Tesla like visualization ability to design devices or run through chemical reactions. It's no easy task and carries significant risk, but I got some preliminary success nonetheless, stumbling on it through accident. Trouble with psychedelics is it's too abstract, despite more profundity. By the time you've translated the message from the language of gods and integrated it, opportunity for instantaneous creation has passed. Either that or you're too deep into God consciousness to even care. But there exist middle ground states, one only needs to find the right key.

What kind of amphetamine, the base? Ketamine is best enjoyed with methylenedioxymethamphetamine. It's inadvisable to snort stuff. If you do, keep it below 30mg at a time, even then without a wash not a particularly good idea. Seems you peeked the visualization ability a little bit, there's a lot more where that came from. Big potential and lots of unknowns. Lastly, real men's speedballs are made of coke + Afghan #3

It is that, but also much more. Without spoiling, the more meta stuff in Higu will offer a better understanding of the same phenomena in Umi. The real horror of Higu is psychological/existential, the gore is like a sideshow. It's no surprise you got this impression, Higu is basically 07th Expansion's most popular work by a mile, while Umi and Ciconia are much more obscure but also better written. And Higu is so popular precisely because it appealed to your classical weeb stereotype of crazy anime girls slaughtering people. Still, that's only a surface level view of the work.

Well it is insane, but that's still a fairly low order of insanity in the grand scheme of Consciousness. Some mean it literally, others might exaggerate, we can't say for sure. I haven't experienced it on Salvia, first have to isolate the Salvinorin A, the raw product is awful; but I have lived multiple decades within a dream once, conscious through it all. The reason it's possible to come back from that fine is, like I said elsewhere, Consciousness has a bottomless capacity for self-obfuscation, so you'll probably simply forget the majority of the events, just have a general memory that they did take place. Same as with some childhood traumas or forgetting that you're God. Though there's also a risk it could become permanent, no longer being able to tell dream from reality (ironic since the two are in fact indistinct, but you get the meaning), like what happened to the guy's wife in Inception. Psychs are serious business.

Haven't read any of these myself, but I hear they're all solid stories. Well, Fate has a couple anime adaptations that are great, I haven't bothered to go into the VN. From the same universe as Umineko, 07th Expansion, you have Higurashi which has pretty good and popular anime(s), but the VN has much more content. Umi occasionally references Higu very loosely, so having seen it improves the reading experience. There's Ciconia too, but only the first part of 4 is currently out and the rest on indefinite hiatus, it is an awesome story, but sucks to be a fan right now. Also Dies irae is probably my second favorite. The Amantes Amentes version is what you want, and after that the IKaBey side story. And K3 which's like a sequel to those, it is slowly but surely being translated. Considered one of the most difficult Japanese works to adapt. Can also recommend G-senjou no Maou and Subarashiki Hibi. I'll check out Baccano, for some reason it gave me instant Kaiji/Akagi vibes, even though the plots are almost entirely unrelated.

Yeah, it's an interesting blend. To expand a little: Lalo: general demeanor; cheery that can shift into dead serious in a heartbeat. Constant observation, attention to detail, on the razor edge of paranoia almost. Forward-thinking. Left-handed, kinda similar looks, switching between multiple languages seamlessly. Jesus: Love, tolerance, devotion to God, "I Am He". Jack Sparrow: improvisation on the spot, coming up with solutions under pressure. The strange way he walks; I hike a lot and flapping your hands around like that actually greatly helps balance on the descent, particularly at high speeds. Featherine: an attitude of looking at people as little children engaging in their shenanigans, enjoying the show. A certain flair for the dramatic (Mercurius of Dies irae is also a good fit here). Being the Creator/author in my life. Tesla: advanced visualization and memory, always looking for ways to change and improve existing processes/things. A desire to benefit humanity through my work. Eren: perseverance, willpower, a "no reverse gear" attitude. Willing to pay any personal cost to achieve what I must. Yhwach: my spiritual shadow, the Antichrist - some slight messianistic motifs. The ability of prophetic dreams. Ibn ʿArabī: the Sufi I resonate most with. His Unity of Being doctrine, the 99 names of Allah being infinite, panentheistic nature of God, having awoken completely very early on but being compelled to walk the path from the beginning again, the attitude of being thankful to those that you help for accepting your aid, "Whichever way you turn, there is the face of God" as the favorite hadith, etc. all match my own experiences. An enjoyer is an understatement It's my favorite work of fiction of all time, and it plays a significant role in how I do philosophy and spirituality. The main themes are Truth and Love, coincidentally. Though more in a postmodern, stage Yellow sort of way rather than Absolutes. It's a big time investment and a slow start, but so worth it IMO. Plus it's got some of the best voice acting and OST ever put to screen. I apologize for taking the thread a little off-topic, but I've been looking for an opportunity to mention Umi here for a long time, and here we are. Do you read other visual novels, which ones do you like?

Place is somewhere from Umineko no Naku Koro Ni, probably the City of Books, or the Sea of Fragments (my profile pic) The 8 would go something like Lalo Salamanca from Better Call Saul Jesus Christ Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean Featherine from Umineko Nikola Tesla Eren Yeager from Attack on Titan Yhwach from Bleach Ibn ʿArabī That's a fun exercise, I could shove a couple more in there, but the restriction on the amount actually makes you consider each pick more carefully. Next it would be interesting to elaborate on each of the choices. Thanks for sharing.