LambdaDelta

It was the grandest party one could ever hold, with vibrant colors dancing around, shapes morphing delightfully, divine music reverberating throughout, and pleasant aromas lingering in the air. The birth of the Universe, a true celebration of Being. But the real gold came afterwards. As a mystic you have to love not just attending the festivities, but also cleaning up. There was silence, and in that silence Truth revealed itself, like Yahweh to Moses. 'To be' is the only verb that does not require duality, I AM is the bedrock beyond which you cannot go, try as you might. The intensity has left me bedridden for a day and severely debilitated for another few. First, a few words about Will. The Will of God is for all its parts to be sovereign unto themselves. The Will is completely surrendered to that end. God is entirely selfless because it is every self. Want to know God's Will? Look around and look at yourself. Together with Truth and Love it forms the Holy Trinity. Nothing can ever go against God's Will, doing so would be impeding God's self-expression. Will is so absolute that God itself can't alter it, even if it breaks God's heart sometimes. It's a Love so complete that even though it accepts itself fully, there are parts that do not, there's hate and there's desire for things to happen differently, aka bias, but the larger Love includes all that. God is such a being that by virtue of existing it casts this shadow upon itself. In a Newtonian sort of way it creates an opposite reaction to itself, some might call that the Devil. Hence nihilism, suicide, suffering. Still, a call for true Goodness is within everything, just that if you don't recognize it you'll be like a compass that doesn't understand why it's pointing north. Can't spell compassion without compass by the way. Another implication is that relative things are also absolutes. Violence is an absolute, because it Is. To ask God for there to not be violence is to ask God to not be itself. Absolute Bad is not a thing, there's only Absolute Good, existence itself. Absolute Bad would be the absence of anything; no God, not even the possibility for there to be good or bad or an experience for you to judge things as such. How come nothing in the world changed even though I went through the creation of the Universe? Because it wasn't a new event per se, I simply became conscious of what already Is. Consciousness has a bottomless capacity for self-obfuscation, that's really all that's happening here. How God inquires into and inscribes itself into Being is the mystery of mysteries. One could conceive of it as a very high level bureaucracy, where the inefficiencies are not flaws, they're tools to set the rhythm. With each awakening you're getting infinity, but only the part of Infinity that you can presently handle. The rest remains obscured. Your understanding may be infinite yet still partial. Think of it like zooming into a Mandelbrot set, frame by frame. You think you have the whole picture, and in a way you do, but you haven't yet put together that the frames are part of a larger thing. When you do, maybe you start perceiving it as a continuous video stream, but of limited duration, because perhaps the software you're playing it with can't display infinity, it only deals with unsigned integer values and then cuts off or loops. This is in equal part a warning and inspiration. Know that there's ever greater depths, but don't overreach. Ignorance is God’s gift and God’s mercy. If you knew the fullness of what you are, you’d die on the spot. Be as grateful for what you're denied as for what you're given. If you told me just a week ago such an experience was possible I wouldn't have believed it, despite a vast array of prior ones. As it turns out, not even intuition combined with experience can correctly grasp true Infinity. How does one go deeper? Up to you, but if I may give a tip, learn to get very comfortable with paradox, in particular the identity of Multiplicity and Unity. This was an exploration of Multiplicity so full it looped around on itself into the Oneness of I AM, as it always beautifully does. Relative and provisional human knowledge is crucial. Study natural sciences, sociology, politics, programming, geography, mathematics, laws, psychology, languages, economics... if nothing else they'll be useful anyhow, but seeing God in all of it is what will enable the most intuitive understanding and unending passion. For instance, I've had brushes with dimensions where consciousness is cultivated and traded as liquid in vials, a property register of consciousness, an inverse of consciousness, something I call hole consciousness, and many more. It's topology of Consciousness. These are inaccessible with your regular nonduality or even God Realization. They're utterly alien, but counterintuitively reaching them has its roots in human knowledge. Know that frustrations, misunderstandings, periods where you seem lost and unable to get through to anyone are the laying of the foundation that will allow moving to the next level. I've gone through a rough few weeks that culminated in this, and I wouldn't have been able to take it without that. The slow erosion of ego prepares you for a smoother ego death. It may look like the effort isn't amounting to anything, but that is not the case. You are being observed. Think about that. Being is observing itself. God—you as a sovereign—is the only witness that matters. I've also gained a new perspective on stage Blue values like law and order. In the legal system, the most sacred principle is public faith. Nihil prius fide. Without this common consensus, not much of anything could be achieved, people delegate their authority and put their trust in a certain institution, such as notariate. Similarly, in sworn testimonies, God is often invoked as the witness and guarantor of truth. It is also said in certain interpretations of law that silence is acceptance. Qui tacet consentire videtur. And so it is with God. God's silence is the acceptance of whatever is occurring. Reality is here, as it is willed. If it were not willed, it wouldn’t be. It's the supreme consent of Love. There is Law to the workings of God, one that is currently beyond anyone's grasp. Models like Spiral Dynamics reflect certain aspects of God in their limited capacity. Beige survival. Red power. Blue law. Orange reason. Green love. Which is why you can't build your tower to heaven without a solid foundation of all those stages. If you're stuck, there's most likely a shadow of one or more stages, however faint, that blocks upward movement. God halts the process out of care, to prevent the collapse of the entire structure. Meditation is torture because you can't handle the silence, it becomes a mirror in which you start seeing all of yourself and that's terrifying. Or it's simply terribly boring. But once you know what that silence is, how it's a quiet gift from God, sustaining all of reality while asking for nothing in return, enabling you to think your silly thoughts and do your selfish deeds, you'll appreciate it. I can finally rest in peace in that silence. Had to seriously consider for a time whether I should ever speak at all after this, because in a way anything I could say or do would just be a distraction that would diminish my consciousness of God. But alas my work is not done yet so I remain. However I now understand some of those sages that just go live out the rest of their days meditating in a cave. It's a life changing experience like no other, a milestone on the spiritual path that splits it into a before and after. These are few and far between. I've also had to rethink how I speak, the weight of the words I use, the consequences of my actions. Still figuring that out. Whatever you do, stay aware that all roads lead to God, that is the ontological fact of I AM and the highest joy. That is all.

N-bombs aren't that common anymore. The effects described could be indicative of many substances, LSD-25 included, nobody could say for sure. NBMOes are essentially the same but with more body load, especially vasoconstriction. "If it's bitter it's a spitter" is a stupid indicator, legit LSD tabs could be bitter due to being laid poorly. Most likely you had real LSD, if you want to be sure use a reagent test as per this or better yet get analogues like 1P-LSD, these will metabolize into 25 anyway and the dose is far more precise, LSD tabs are typically underdosed.

Careful with assuming that. An extreme state can blindside you in a dangerous way irrespective of precautions taken.

Most of this entity stuff is New Age nonsense, go deep enough and you'll see how they're projections of your mind. Doesn't mean they're unreal, quite the opposite, nor does it mean they can't provide you with valuable insights or hurt you in some way, that's all still on the table. How about creating your own entity to help run your life in the background? Possible, I've done it, pretty sure others have as well.

Classic variants of meditation become weak sauce after a certain point. Never really worked for me to begin with due to an overly inquisitive mind, but that can be turned into a strength. You could start doing God Mind meditation. As I'm riding on a train, I close my eyes, and through deconstructing the concept of motion in my mind I reach consciousness of Absolute Stillness, similarly you could do No Self and such classic awakening experiences. And this is richer because it's like having both eyes open, with No Self you have just the one. It can be done anywhere, at any time, the concept of distractions no longer applies, all of it is direct experience. Do this for a while and boredom will cease to exist. It's no longer about silencing the monkey mind, or something like a Meister Eckhart style, the emptying will happen naturally as you go beyond the imagined limits of your human mind. The reason you no longer need to quiet the monkey mind is your baseline has evolved to a relatively purified human mind, which has the capacity to earnestly and patiently deconstruct itself until reaching God consciousness, whereas the monkey mind had to be silenced, splashed awake with water, or dissolved. There's still value for those occasionally, but they're no longer mandatory. One could argue technicalities how this is not really meditation, that's up to individual interpretation.

What if the MAGA logo was deliberately placed there to filter out the most reactive and closeminded people, because what follows is more radical than MAGA could ever be. Probably not, I'm just saying it as a thought experiment to always be vigilant about assumptions.

Agreed, that's a pretty accurate summary. I recently had an insight into a related matter with a bit of a twist.

Indeed it is. One of the first things that's much simpler to see from 'one is all' perspective is that the entirety of God is right here, right now, in your teacup. The very notion of perspective only exists in duality. You can explore and tweak this from endless angles, each direction completely bottomless, and it always converges back to One in the most beautiful mindfuck. Inconceivable states of consciousness could be reached this way, not possible or at least much more challenging to get to when you're stuck at 'all is one' because there's no one left to inquire into anything. But you as God can inquire into yourself forever and still still surprise yourself. 'Regular' nonduality doesn't explain how Truth is Love, why there's evil, doesn't let you see divine intelligence in stupidity and mundane, doesn't allow for holding paradox simultaneously beyond simply collapsing it, and so on. That's just the basics and there's higher gears beyond.

I made a playlist for study of mental illness, primarily schizophrenia simulations and interviews, it needs some more content though. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIEFsHjIryOepjLZKhIoFeLZVUmScGyaA People haven't the first clue how deep mind goes.

That's a good start to grasp the differences. The short of it is, in my own words, is realizing Multiplicity is just as absolute as Unity. Depending on the depth of reading this might sound stupid or simplistic, but contemplate and maybe you'll get somewhere. There's also many blog posts, some of them very recent, that highlight the distinctions.

I enjoyed this one quite a bit without having finished it yet. Prime is a great channel for programming-adjacent topics, even if you only do it as a hobby like me. Despite the shit Lex gets over here lately, rightfully so, the quality of guests, questions, and conversation is still way above Joe Rogan, especially in these more grounded, stage orange discussions that Lex himself is comfortable and knowledgeable in. This gives quite a bit of insight into the workings of the programming industry. There were some pleasantly surprisng bits as well (psychedelics & God talked about in passing), addiction, and at the very beginning when they talk about what got them into programming, mention and describe recursion, it hit me that it's another facet of Infinity that I've been experiencing lately, in many ways. Highly recommended watch.

I get it now. Think I heard a bit of an ambulance siren in there as well, leading me to believe you collapse on the street from a heart attack or something. There's some clues one can get from the track/file names in the picture you posted. Right you are. Though theoretical knowledge is still required for the thing I want to make, it will be classical. But I realized that's one of the easier parts, most important is hearing the thing in your head. And if we really get advanced, nothing's stopping you from accessing Mozart consciousness or general music composition consciousness and getting it very directly from the source. I have some fleeting experience with that. One of my favorite styles are megamixes, you take 20+ songs and blend them seamlessly. You can get a lot of inspiration from that. https://youtu.be/0GE1U7FChz8 or https://youtu.be/K0pEuNbrxHk (thanks Keryo)

We have a big storm coming on in my city, as I'm looking out the window I see this little bird struggling against the gusts of wind, and I see God imagining itself as these powerful forces impacting the bird it's imagining itself as, taking place on an imaginary planet, suspended in imaginary space, at an imaginary point in time. And I see God imagining itself as me looking at this whole scene and having insights into itself. In one instant a drop of rain on my window appeared as another bird, far above in the clouds. Through such perspective tricks, I became conscious of the inverse of consciousness. And that tears me up, the stunning beauty of it along with the realization that the entire weight of reality is always there, but somehow consciousness manages to obscure and dilute itself such that this goes unseen. The pen beside my bed is the whole of God, and just as God can't not be God, this pen can't not be here right now. I see how this moment is simultaneously the perfect metaphor of the struggle of finite incarnations against the fundamental impermanence of reality, and how the struggle itself is a persistent fantasy, it's all running like a well-oiled machine, perfect as it could ever be, even the tiny grains of sand that seemingly slow down the gears work together with the whole system to pace it harmonically. Thank you, thank God, thanks everyone here, and thank myself, we forged the lenses I see all this through together.

Had a follow-up insight regarding my second sentence. It's deeply connected to Impermanence, when you're this small fragile ego you can't stand impermanence, you want to subsist no matter the cost, you want to own and dominate parts of reality, so in that way you impede God's Will of full self-expression, or rather resist it, because there's no way to thwart it. Life must go on without you, be content with being a temporary, but essential part of the cycle of Division and Unity, and remember that you can never truly die, what awaits after that is still God.

Will and desire have a deep mutual relationship. God's Will is the desire to express itself fully. Yes, aligning yourself to God's Will (part of which are the needs and wants of your fellow humans) indeed reduces hurt and leads to incredible fulfillment. It won't eliminate pain, more likely will add to it, but you'll be too conscious to mind. Something I noticed reading forum drama and from observation in general - all offense and negative emotional reactions to things are False. There's two ways you can get offended, either by truth, when someone points something out about you that you don't want to admit, so you blow up and project, that's the most common way. And the second is the opposite, when someone says false things about you, like spreading rumors that you're a thief or rapist when you're a really virtuous person. But notice something, you get triggered because your identity is being undermined, and this limited human identity, however saintly you've made it, is still False, your only real Identity is God. Offense is always a defense. Defense of what? Not of Being, Truth, God – those don’t need defending. They can’t be threatened. It’s always a defense of some construct: a story, an identity, a preference, an image.