LambdaDelta

Well, it's understandable why you feel that way, it's par for the course at some point in any serious spiritual journey. To ones such as us, who have lived through hundreds of years and experienced things beyond human comprehension, the chores, barbarity, and limitations of everyday life will seem unbearable at times. However, consider that from multiple perspectives. What's so unsatisfying about this existence, truly? Questioning the reasons deep enough will result in most of them falling apart. Indeed, it's a prison in many ways. Those pesky laws of physics, health troubles, limited cognitive capacity, and a myriad of other things. But I'd propose that planning and executing a prison break, working around all the preset conditions is more fun than hanging yourself in your cell, even if you ultimately don't succeed. So far, all that you are has been sourced from this reality, so attempting a permanent shift forcefully can result in unintended consequences, such as a state of consciousness even more limited and static. Plus, however long you got, no matter whether it's 40 years or several millennia, that's a laughably short span of time from a universal perspective, so it'll be over before you know it. Don't abandon those plans you have, simply postpone, they won't go anywhere. If you can reforge your perspective so completely that you'll see God in the pavement and idiocy, life will be awesome, but it's a challenging process to say the least. Also, try asking God for an appropriate challenge to occupy yourself. Imagine a game so difficult and confusing that grasping the basics of the rules takes several years, and then with tons of psychedelic trips, immense amount of academic knowledge, experiences in different parts of the world, and constant contemplation, you'll just barely figure it out by the time you kick the bucket at 90. Design that kind of puzzle together with God, then there can be no more room for complaints, you'll be too busy solving it like a maniac. And if you can't talk to God directly like that yet, that's something to work on. Lastly, the fact that you posted this here and in this section indicates that perhaps you aren't so dead set on going through with this as you may believe. So take additional time to reflect and I think you'll arrive at a solution.

Not under the same conditions they're not, but give an AR-15 to an idiot and it won't be used effectively at all.

That depends. In China not so long ago a student killed 8 and injured 17 in a stab attack. Columbine was 13 dead between 2 guys, and most school shootings don't cross 7 dead. Guns have the issue of immediately alerting everyone.

That's the video you're thinking of You might be similar to me in this regard, one's reactions and actions during trips vary a lot. If the trip happens in the headspace, which is the best way, the more immediate danger is probably forgetting to breathe or swallowing your tongue than running around naked or falling out the window. Sometimes I'll live 10 lifetimes, then come back to find I haven't moved an inch from my initial position. Even if the content is horror, it's all experienced inside the mind, the physical world just becomes an unnecessary distraction. Once I had an NDE from harmala poisoning, did not move or panic. Still, you want to have some basic safety protocol in place. Water, trip killers nearby, maybe a bucket, nothing you can slip or tumble on, doors and windows locked, etc. Rest is context dependent. I'll lock away knives and stuff only when doing something like deliriants, for the others it's overkill.

Fischer Random? That's weak True alien minds play infinite chess Who's up for that?

There's also the opposite effect, thrashing around like an animal in the cage of your mind when you realize that's the only thing there is. Being 'somewhere' isn't quite the end of nonduality, more like a dissociative hole.

They can be. Although mushrooms are generally more colorful and geometric. The video seems closer to what you get on some deliriants - loss of focus, sound amplification, wobbling, tracers. Visuals are just a sideshow, you can discard them for deeper headspace and more consciousness if you so wished.

Are you intelligent enough to be that evil and avoid the consequences long term? That's an art in its own right. If not, that experiment would quickly be over, you wouldn't even have enough experience to contemplate while serving your prison term. There's precisely nothing wrong with it, it's a mode of being as valid as any other. But you can observe it others, not necessary to make it your lived experience. Then again the same can be said about observing love in Jesus, which is what Christians do... In reality you're already plenty evil, way more than you can or want to see, so it's probably a safe bet to pull in the opposite direction to get a balanced experience of life. I've surprised myself at how evil I am and especially was by making an honest list of bad and selfish deeds.

Well he ain't wrong about that. The Devil is still an actor in God's play.

Apparently I've already seen it some years ago. Not a bad idea to get a refresher. There's also another docu 'Lucent' from the same people that focuses solely on pigs. Out of all the farm animals, they're probably treated the worst. And interestingly it's still the most consumed meat in the world despite excluding all the Muslims. Watching this on a psychedelic would be wild. Your love would grow so much. But it might also traumatize you.

Oh my, that's eerily similar to the experiences I've been having in the past few weeks and months. Not all at once, but bits and pieces through various mediums; psychedelics, meditation, contemplation, and dreams. Feels like an entirely new dimension has opened up, everything prior has been a hike to the base camp, and now I can start summiting the peaks. Thanks for the titanic work putting this all together, surely it's taken loads of time to articulate. I'm currently too lazy to do that, it's scattered across various notes and conversations with AI.

You should be concerned with degradation. It can last a couple years, but beyond that it will almost surely start losing potency. Proper storage practice can extend that a good deal. No air (vacuum sealed), no sunlight, and freezed. For long term I put my chemicals in 2 layers of zipper bags, carefully squeezed to let the air out, placed in the freezer at -18°C. I've gotten MXE stored in a similar way since around 2013 and still active. As for the amount, that will depend on the frequency of tripping. Assuming a trip every 2 weeks at 30mg, 10 grams will last you like 13 years.

Grade 4 (some classification systems don't even go that high and stop at 3) is pretty serious, you're very lucky to not have pain or discomfort. I've had grade 3 on left lateral for many years, did an embolization for that 2 years ago, which helped, but only in that area, and it gradually shifted to bottom left, perhaps due to not blocking enough veins or bad technique. Nasty pains and overall feeling. Had a repeat surgery a little over a month ago and it's going much better. I find that some of the main things to avoid/limit with varicocele is heat exposure and sexual activity, that strains the veins further. With cold showers and abstinence I have a much easier time managing and healing it. Unsure about testicular hypotrophy, likely that was part of the diagnosis and I forgot, that didn't concern me, just wanted to get rid of the pain. You'll probably want to have some intervention done, embolization is one of the least intrusive, but that's something the doctor will have to select based on severity and whatnot. Ideally insurance would cover it as it did for me.

I've recently committed to making some important changes in my life, mostly related to more basic personal development, but also holistically intertwined with the larger picture of how I approach spirituality. Will soon put those to writing for better accountability and progress tracking. The shifts are already noticeable after a short amount of time, largely in that the level of satisfaction and purpose is on a steady rise. Gratitude and emotions too. But that's the good stuff, not quite what this topic is about. Par for the course, these last two days I've been having rather intense ego backlashes. These mainly manifested physically as unbearable itchiness all over the body, both in public and at home, red rashes appearing on the skin, I believe that's called hives. From past experiences I know that's a telltale sign of shame, embarrassment, and just general discomfort with the present situation. The ego doesn't like this new direction, and is trying to get its way though force. Today, during a particularly agonizing episode, I'm talking writhing on the floor for minutes on end, I've turned inwards and started a conversation with myself. I said to the ego "Look, as much as you try to separate yourself from me and the rest of reality, that's ultimately futile, we're all in the same boat here. So if you want to make me suffer, so be it, but you'll suffer right with me. We'll do this as long as required. Also, reflect on the past. All the doomscrolling, jerking off, rewatching the same crap, sleeping 12 hours a day, doing drugs, being lazy, unmotivated, and undisciplined doesn't really work. A lot of the time we're bored out of our mind, jumping from one thing to the next. Instead, from now on, you take the backseat, and I'll get us to where we need to go, a place of subtle, but consistent fulfillment. I'll allow some room for your devilry and bias, but in a healthy way, such that it contributes to the higher purpose in the grand scheme. What say you?" And what do you know, the attack quickly subsided. Surrender strikes again. Basically the "Dormammu, I've come to bargain!" scene from Dr. Strange: Now, that surely doesn't mean it's over, the Devil will play ball for now, but in the background devise new, ever more elaborate schemes to fall back into old habits, and make me believe that's what I actually want. With this new technique in the arsenal, it'll be a bit easier to counteract that though. Well, that does it, perhaps will be of help to someone.