Flower

Yes Please! I am backpacking for the first time, this summer; Thailand>Cambodia>Vietnam over 6 weeks. I am a bit nervous since I have never really 'backpacked' before, I need to get used to this minimalistic type of travel! I am going alone, but I'm good at making friends along the way I have the lonely plant 'southeast asia on a shoestring' book which looks packed full of information. But I am still deciding on the most efficient route, and which places to visit? I don't want to just end up in places with full moon parties and all the typical touristy stuff. I do want to visit some monks and temples however! What would be your best tips? Also I am booking a flight into and out of Bangkok... the Itinerary in between in yet to be decided. I do want to leave some flexibility for spontaneous travel!

@Guest Oh dear. lol The only thing that can get rid of these people, is ignoring them. Not feeding their ego, or giving them attention. That is what they feed off of. Once you no longer make them feel important, they will lose interest in you and find another target who does provide the supply they need. Of course, you can always ask Jesus for help

I am grateful for being blessed in every aspect of life

'Love is not the product of thought which is the past. Thought cannot possibly cultivate love. Love is not hedged about and caught in jealousy, for jealousy is of the past. Love is always active present. It is not `I will love' or `I have loved'. If you know love you will not follow anybody. Love does not obey. When you love there is neither respect nor disrespect. Don't you know what it means really to love somebody - to love without hate, without jealousy, without anger, without wanting to interfere with what he is doing or thinking, without condemning, without comparing - don't you know what it means? Where there is love is there comparison? When you love someone with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your body, with your entire being, is there comparison? When you totally abandon yourself to that love there is not the other.' - J.Krishnmurti. http://www.katinkahesselink.net/kr/love.html To me Krishnamurti has some great things to say about 'real love'. Love that is unconditional, is not intellectualised, it does not Involve mind, but is fully heart. It is not possessive or self-seeking, it just IS. Furthermore, I think part of the problem here in such discussions is that when we speak of 'love' - there is the problem of language. What do we actually mean by 'Love'? are we all actually speaking of the same thing or are we giving different phenomena (depending on how we see it/understand it etc) the same name. Also people at different stages of self-development are likely to 'see' and experience love differently. The true and deepest form of love is an experience, and as with the most abstract and highest phenomena humans experience, by trying to explain it fails, because It by nature is irreducible and through description it's essence is lost.

@Toby Yes! I have experienced this... Idealisation.. Initially they flatter you and say lots of nice things.. all the things you want to hear.. and then when they 'have you' they stop complimenting and often make subtle criticisms to wear away at your self-esteem... the person they do it to is left confused because they don't understand how the person became so cold. Eventually it will end in discard, they will get rid of you if it no longer suits them. BUT if it does suit them to have you ( for emotional support, attention etc) they will NOT let you go, even if they see it is affecting you badly. They will do everything (except let you go-because that would benefit you and not them) to keep you. I'm sorry to hear of your experience @Toby, I know how disorientating it can be! and the thing is only people who have been through a similar experience can understand you!

@Natasha I have watched some of his videos. But from my personal experience is that often you cannot really easily tell if someone is a sociopath unless you live with them, or are their partner. When you see enough of them, you begin to see discrepancies between the 'persona' or the self that they have created for themselves and who they really are - often numb, easily bored, fragile and paradoxically egoistic. The most difficult thing in a relationship can be, that they tend to 'mirror' you own qualities back to you, but these qualities are not authentically theirs.What you are basically seeing is a created version of yourself. This suits them particularly because it earns your trust quickly, and they know the person they really are is not one which is likeable or socially acceptable. So they have to learn a personality. It can be scary when they seem to be taking on your traits, because stay with them long enough and you see a really superficial version of authentic traits, such as empathy.

@Socrates your right in pointing out that something is up if I am feeling like a strange version of myself when I am with them- sadly yes that was the case. I found myself subconsciously getting frustrated at their behaviours and over time the negativity built up so much that it would keep me on edge. When with them I felt like I was limited somehow-but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. I was experiencing a tight feeling in my chest and gut and constantly felt at unease. Now that I have left, I feel my heart expand and I feel that I am free to be myself again. It's so strange because I couldn't say that they were actively stopping me from doing anything or being me, it felt entirely energetic.

@Philip Thank you very much! I think you are spot on right. What he is doing is really great for him but we ARE revisiting the same relationship over and over and it's not good for either of us. I feel like he is holding me back and I am holding him back, but we are going in two separate directions. We are not speaking anymore, and I have told him to move on since I will be doing the same. What that means for me Is though that i am focusing on myself and being happy single. I am not 'looking' for anything. I know that by being happy within myself and being the best version of myself I will attract the right person at the right time With such insight, I am wondering if you had a similar experience @Philip

'question everything' - Simple yet profound. We should always question and challenge received wisdom.