One of the things I have discovered about myself is that my fears and perceptions do not seem to have to make sense in order to cause me physical harm. When I worry too much about something, I get physically sick. My body is rebelling against the stress I put it under, and knowing that my fears are irrational doesn't seem to make them less of a problem. If I choose to embrace this pursuit of enlightenment and attempt to divorce my existence from my thoughts and emotions and the stories I tell myself about reality, will my body accept this new paradigm without trying to kill me? In other words, will attempting to persuade myself that my fears are not only irrational but not real actually make those fears dissipate? Will it at least rob them of their power to cause me real physical harm? Will it keep me from having panic attacks or landing in the hospital with unexplained illnesses related to the stress of my emotions? Is this powerful enough to end my misery quickly, or do I have to spend the term of my search for enlightenment in pain? I have release from my mind only when I am taking cannabis so far, and I know it is a crutch, but I want that to be my life. I want to live without all of this pain.
Thanks for all your thoughts. I will be checking out that book.
