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Everything posted by cle103
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Thanks for the reply! I will research Louise Hay. I don‘t think it‘s a stroke since most of these things have been present for a long time or even birth.
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cle103 replied to MsNobody's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Astrology seems fun... never gotten really into it. I'm a late Cancer (18th July). Anything you can tell me about that? -
cle103 replied to Leo Gura's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Got it. If you chant "Om" at each chakra (up and down the spine) that would be KP3. -
cle103 replied to Leo Gura's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Leo Gura Do you do only Kriya Pranayama 3 or do you do 12 KP 1, 12 KP2, 12 KP3 as JC recommends? -
Hey guys, earlier this day I took one tab of AL-LAD (approx. 150 μg) and I thought I'd share my experience. I took it on an empty stomach after waking up. The onset was about 60 minutes. This was my 8th psychedelic experience (6x shrooms, 2x AL-LAD). The evening before I set the following intentions: Grow as a person and integrate past traumas. What is Truth? What should I eat (what is the proper diet for me) (yes, seriously). All of the above got addressed in the trip. So I'll go through them one by one. 1. Starting with the least important - What should I eat? I'll keep it short, bc. the other topics are more juicy: I never had struggles with my diet, however the last days my stomach was kinda upset. So I set the intention to investigate further. In short the answer was: Be more aware. Eat even less (not none) dairy and less processed stuff. I had a piece of chocolate mid-trip plus a banana and I just realized how perfectly nourishing the fruit was, whereas the chocolate was SO sweet it was almost disgusting. 2. Grow as a person and integrate past traumas. This was an interesting one. I had two past memories come up. In one there was a kid trying to bully me (I was 6 or so). However he was the loner and I was with my friend. He never got through to me and I just realized that he wanted to belong to us and that he just wanted to be loved. I didn't even know that this was a trauma (!) as I almost forgot about the memory and never would've thought it would be traumatic. However, and that was the most interesting part, I visited this particular scene again and I saw that a part of me splintered off there. And when I went through it the fragment re-integrated with me. This was absolutely fascinating (months before I read Teal Swan's Completion Process and it felt exactly as she describes it). Then there was a different scene where I was about 15 or 16 and someone I knew for years wanted to pick a fight with me and my group of friends. We did not want to fight him and his friend so we left the football field where the scene took place. As I visited the field again I saw how it could have ended. There was blood and violence. I realized that it was wise for us to leave and that this person was so full of pain that chances are rare he will be saved, ever. That was sad, as he wanted to be loved as well but had so much pain, that I could never do anything but send him love. This love theme expanded as I realized that everything that "evil" people do is for love. I had a crystal clear image of Hitler and I saw the suffering he inflicted but I could not hate him. There was only love. 2.1. Fear of Spiders Whilst on the topic of love and hate, I also confronted my fear of spiders. I'm not hysterical about it but I keep a good distance from them. Again I was sent to a past memory where there was a particulary "beautiful" fella sitting in our basement (I was about 17 I think). I tried to catch it but it was about 2-3 inches big and in the final moment I chickened out as my "friend" ran for his life (probably going on a mission to kill some rats lol). In this scene I switched perspectives and became the spider and re-experienced the exact scene from it's point of view (try telling that your therapist). I don't know if that cured my anxiety forever as I haven't seen a spider yet but it definitely showed me a different perspective (image how scary a human is for a spider). And also realized how irrational (this) fear is. 3. What is Truth? Now we get into the meat of this trip. Oh, boy. About 2.5 hours in I realized that the ONLY thing worth pursuing in life is Truth. There is nothing else. Everything else is a misguided search for Truth or just plain distraction (both are the same in the end). I thought about my life and career - Distraction. Pursuing sex and women - Truth! Just kidding... a heaping pile of distraction. Health and fitness - Whilst it's important to take care of your meat vehicle it is ultimately a distraction. EVEN happiness is a distraction! I realized that there is nothing left to do but to search for Truth. So I went on my way. I might have asked "What is Truth" one million times in the 8 hours that the trip lasted (not kidding!). Unfortunately I didn't find it... but I learned a lot: What if Truth is ugly - Would you still want it? What if Truth is immeasurable suffering - Would you still want it? What if Truth is pure insanity - Would you still want it? What if Truth is A LIE? - Would you still want it? What if Truth is death? - Would you still want it? The answer is yes (at least it was for me). I went trough them one by one. I was shown immense suffering (being eaten alive in the most painful way). I was also shown insanity. And I also confronted the possibility that Truth could be a lie (that was a tricky one). With the last one I had the sensation that something was slitting my throat. I was ready to die and tried. I wanted to let go but I just could not. So I just banged my head against the wall over and over again, trying to think my way to Truth. I also looked at my hand for about two hours and saw all kinds of weird shit happen (visuals, morphing, one time there was an eye on one of my fingers and at one time my hand disappeared literally for a couple of seconds). I realized that Truth could only be HERE and NOW. As everything else is illusion (room/space, time, ...). But I did not break through. This was frustrating to say the least. However between my last trip and this trip I got a real sense for what true self inquiry is. If done properly it happens by itself. No thinking. The question emerges in silence and gets answered in silence not thought. Thought can only bring you to the edge. You can either try to brute force it by thinking and asking over and over again (as I did here)... hoping for the ego to give the f up... or you can do it in silence (much more productive). All in all... The main thing I got out of this is that Truth is the only worthwhile pursuit (not to say that nothing else matters but it kind of does lol). I am humbled and thankful for the lessons learned but not satisfied. Hope you enjoyed! Much love. - Cheers P.S. One of the trippiest things I've ever done in my entire life is to look into the mirror whilst on the substance. Get real close. Look yourself in the eyes. See your own reflection in your own pupils. Realize that it's a reflection of a reflection of whatever. Realize that you've never seen your body for real. Freak the f out.
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@Leo Gura Now you spoilered me Just kidding. Yes. That's the problem I guess. I had the conceptual understanding plus various mystical experiences but never a clear cut direct experience of Truth. @Nahm Team spider ? @who chit Yes, exactly! That's what I tried for a full year. No effect at all. Now I just remain seated after I do my Kundalini meditation and self inquiry happens by itself. So much more productive.
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cle103 replied to Leo Gura's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Leo Gura Earlier you said you'd recommend 24 KP's/Session with the technique described in the "basic book". Do you only do KP3 or KP1 & 2 as well (like it's recommended in the book)? Also: Have you tried stopping the breath at every chakra? It's an alternative/recommended technique. -
Hey guys, this is the third time it happened to me and I wanted to get your thoughts on this: Yesterday I was meditating in total darkness late at night (my fav. time and setting). I was doing my usual routine that my coach gave me (self love, meta, chakra work). After I was finished I noticed that my mind was extremely calm. First there were some thoughts but I could clearly observe that those were not "mine" or "me". Then all thinking stopped. There was nothing. And after a minute or so this thought emerged by itself: "Wait! What is me?" And that freaked me the fuck out. There was no me. As this was noticed noticed my heart started POUNDING. I never experienced anything like this. I was sweating and panicking. I heard Leo talk about that this happens when you're on a brink of an awakening, however I could not break through. It felt literally like I was dying. I was scared shitless. I thought about my family and how they would miss me. It was intense. And when my heart beat increased even further I had the feeling that the inside flipped outside... That there was no body anymore, only me. The heartbeat, the rapid breathing happened within "me". As I said, this happened twice before but never that intense. How do you actually break through in such a situation? Thanks for your feedback. - Cheers
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cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Nahm Sounds like a good deal -
cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Leo Gura Sounds pleasant haha Thank you! -
cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@non_nothing Thanks! Adyashanti is great. @Nahm Hmm, interesting. It always sounds so easy, if I think about it now I'd say "Just surrender" but when my identity actually is on the line it's so much harder. I'll try next time. Thank you. @Leo Gura Yup, shit happens. I'll interpret this as "keep going" or is there anything else you'd point me to? @Oktillo Yeah, so much to learn. You describe the same feeling I get on shrooms. We're just petty monkeys with some fancy technology -
cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@SirVladimir Yes , that sounds familiar. It's an experience for sure. @karkaore Thanks! -
cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Hellspeed Thank you. What do you mean exactly by "ground it into Muladhara"? Focus on the first chakra? -
cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Yes, control def. goes out the window haha. Did you manage to surrender the 1st try or how long did it take you? I tried to surrender but my ego was just hanging on for its dear life. -
cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@PsiloPutty Yeah, this sounds nice in theory. However when I'm certain I'll die it gets a little tricky I think you're right about surrendering... it's just not what my ego likes to do as its head is on the chopping board. Thanks for your comment! @Serotoninluv It was profound indeed (and scary). -
Anywhere in Germany and I'm down. I know at least one-two friends who would attend the 2nd day as well (plus me).
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Hey guys, I've been meaning to write this for a while now. Some stats on me: 21 years old, male I work in a marketing agency (and I like it 90%) Meditating for 2.5 years (6 magic mushroom trips) This is mostly me reflecting and self assessing my progress and shortcomings on this journey. I've also included recent learnings. Hope you enjoy. In order of importance... Enlightenment Status: Definitely not enlightened (yet) I've worked with a coach on my Kundalini for about 3 months and I've seen a lot of improvements in my practice. Especially after reintroducing Kriya Yoga. I now do Leo's Kriya routine in the morning and a visualization + chakra meditation at night. Both take about 30 minutes each. Just yesterday I had a session at night where I felt the borders of my body dissolving combined with increased heart rate. I had this a couple times before. Sometimes with my heart nearly exploding (or so it felt). I think I'm on track here. Of course if you think "Yay, here comes my breakthrough" you loose it... nonduality you slippery bitch... Other than that I can definitely sense energy in my spine but nothing special to report. Things I've learned recently: Your day is preparation for practice! If you train distraction for 23 hours it doesn't do much if you meditate for one hour. So do one thing at a time. Finish what you start and stay mindful in every move you make. That's harder than it sounds. Especially when you own a laptop or phone lol. I've also had some really interesting experience/trip after smoking weed recently. Another thing: Meditation isn't just sitting still and closing your eyes. It's a prolonged and deep state of focus. That just made me realize how weak my focus really is. I cannot even concentrate on my third eye for 5 minutes. Screw you pornhub... Note to self: Place order for LSD and DMT asap. Life Purpose I've been working on my LP for the better part of two years now. And I believe I know what I want to do. My passions are: Health, nutrition, cooking, nonduality, yoga and art. My current approach lies in combining the health stuff and weaving in some nondual teachings. I'm working on getting some clients for online coaching on health and and nutrition. Gonna see if it's for me or not. But I can definitely see myself doing that and going deep... however my fingers are also itching to do some art. Gotta see how this pans out. Things I've learned: I basically work to make my boss rich. Man... I really like my coworkers and my boss. They're great humans. However I don't think that this is going to be my life forever. The job takes SO much time and energy that could be focussed on LP and meditation. I think it's gotta go in the long run... Dating So... yeah dating hasn't been happening for quite some time lol. At my age I should be getting drunk and high and fuck some hoes. Preferably at the same time... however this doesn't really appeal to me. Dating takes SO much energy it's not even funny. I am fucking spent after a week of work, progressing on my LP and doing all that meditating. That's my excuse at least. Sometimes I ask myself if all this dating stuff is even worth the trouble. Then again: Some female affection would be great and I believe that a deep relationship could be worth the hassle. #pleasehelp Health Health is great. I hit the gym 4 times per week. I take walks and do Yoga. I eat clean, cook my own food and I love it. I've experimented with some intuitive eating and it feels really good. However I've got a minor food addiction in the evening. As I see food as my go to way for comfort after a long day of work. Nothing drastic as I'm pretty lean and muscular and I just eat a little to much (of the healthy food). Gotta clean it up sometime but I don't have the mental band width right now. Other Learnings I basically know NOTHING. That just dawned on me after the "life is a maze" video. All I have are my direct experiences from trips and life. EVERYTHING else is just hearsay. All the knowledge I assumed was true my WHOLE life: Monkey see - monkey do. This shit is dangerous. I remember listening to Jordan Peterson half a year ago. I thought: "Man, this guy's kinda aggressive, but I see what he's saying." You don't question this knucklehead if he's on Joe Rogan cause he sounds smart. But then you listen closely to what he says and you ask yourself: "Wait what? Is he serious? Did he just say this!?" So thanks Leo for that. You/I just can't take anyone's word for anything. Gotta find out for yourself... as my statistics professor likes to say: "You can use graphs and numbers to prove any fucking thing you want." Then again: You gotta take hypotheses. But I'd rather rely on the Buddha than on the RSD guys or JP lol. --- If you made it this far: Thank you for your attention! If you got anything to point out: Blind spots or things that might benefit me/others on the same path please comment below. Much love! - Cheers
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cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Gabriel Antonio Yeah, I'm glad as well haha. Didn't plan it... just wanted to have a relaxed evening. -
Hey guys, I thought that this might be interesting for ya'll, so I wanted to share my experience from yesterdays involuntary Weed trip. I've never been into Weed as I view it as a distraction, however yesterday a good friend of mine asked if I wanted to chill out in the park and smoke some of his "best stuff". So we did. I took about four hits (no tobacco, approx. 0,15g max.). First thing I noticed was that I instantly relaxed. All the tension in my body just melted off. Quite similar to a mushroom trip. Then the Oregano went off... When looking at the plants in the park my perspective shifted inside out. I literally was that which I was looking at when I looked at it long enough. Not like "focusing on it". It was like "I am everything all at once". It felt like a switch being flipped. My body was just a part of everything. Like something carved out of consciousness. It even felt a little alien. It felt like I was everything that I could sense and my body feelings where just "in the mix". No separation. It could have all been a painted picture. No thing as empty space. No three-dimensionalty. Just all made of the same stuff. And kinda wonky too. And when my friend said something there came a small thought like "Oh, now it would be appropriate to say something... so put on your human hat for a second". That was rather surprising, not even shocking... more like "how could it be otherwise?". Interesting to note is that my breathing stopped completely when I was in this state. To get into it I just had to look at something for 5 seconds and then the switch flipped. I had to remind myself to breathe cause I was worried I might die. Also I was completely still. No movement at all. I think this was because Weed kinda dumbs down the senses and makes everything slower. Quite the opposite to "real" psychedelics but still far from your regular state of consciousness. Another thing I noticed was that I could feel my chakras ALOT. Later that evening I was lying on the couch and thought to myself "Hmm, I haven't done my 2nd meditation of the day... so I might as well do it now.". So I went into meditation just lying there and visualizing my chakras opening one by one. I could feel every single chakra immediately. Might be bc. of Yoga/Meditation but this was very surprising to me. I also learned a bunch. Here are my takeaways: I carry around ALOT of stiffness (walking, talking, being). If I want to be more comfortable with ppl. and have more fun in general it's crucial to get loose. I go hard all week with my practices, yoga, business and dayjob... sometimes it's good to just relax and be in a vegetable state haha. When you want to improve your talking skills get rid of tension in your body. Especially in your jaw and throat (tension is unconscious, relaxation requires consciousness + work on your throat chakra). If you're a little stiff when talking to ppl. RELAX. Get loose. And especially: Lower your standards of what you say out loud. Just talk and amuse yourself. And when it's time to listen and connect, listen and connect. (This was a big one for me as I invest most of my life's energy into work and self actualization. Having fun is important as well haha). My favorite insight: Every single instance of your life is a little adventure and journey. I was sitting with my friend in the metro and it just came to me that we were both just 100% in the moment, not giving a shit, having fun, cracking jokes, talking about life and it just felt magical. Not even because we were together. It would have been the same if I was alone. It would just have been another kind of adventure. I felt like a hobbit from Lord of the Rings lol. Every instance and even the most ordinary moments are magical. Our ego just drowns it out. I realized that this is one of the prime directives in my life: Make life magical again (If anybody got practices for this, let me know!) Material life kinda sucks. I imagined myself having a trophy wife and going to a fancy dinner with another couple. All stiff, glammed up and talking about boring business stuff. Holy lord... this would suck SO bad. You can have so much more fun spending tim in nature, deeply connecting and just being. Be spontaneous. Listen to what your emotions are telling you and then just go with it every once in a while (maybe even all the time, once your intuition is sharp). The power of SOFTNESS: This one sums it up for me. Softness is a much more fun and effortless way of life. As a guy I always unconsciously thought I had to be alpha, stiff and keep my shoulders back and chin up. This is a fucking joke lol. Once I commited to softness I felt literally a shell break in my body. It was about a centimeter below my skin. It was hard and thin and then it broke. After that I was just completely loose. Not resisting. Just myself. We talked to some girls and spent the evening with them and I just felt no pressure at all. We just talked, had fun and enjoyed it. I realized girls don't want that stiff gym rat. They want to be silly. Like kids. Just like a real man So all in all this was quite a journey. The peak was about 40 minutes, then it went down but lasted overall for about 5 hours. I'm still not really a fan of weed. And I will stick to the "good stuff", however don't underestimate it... Hope you enjoyed! - Cheers
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cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Self Discovery Thanks mate! Yeah the hard part is the embodiment of that insight. -
cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Nahm @nethernalbeing Thanks guys! -
cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Edit: How on earth can people smoke full grams of this stuff?! 0,15g's is next to nothing... with a full gram I would go bananas. -
cle103 replied to Leo Gura's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Leo Gura Ah yes, Supreme Fire. Thx for clarifying. -
cle103 replied to Leo Gura's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Leo Gura By "Breath Of Fire" do you mean the Kundalini Yoga exercise or "Kriya Supreme Fire" or the "Fire Bow" from Santata Gamana books? -
cle103 replied to cle103's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@njuufa Hmm, yeah, she's very certain that psychedelics are the wrong path as it burns karma as she puts it.