nerdspeak

Lack of economic opportunity is a real problem. But you should probably say, men can’t get sex with the women they feel entitled to. They need to lower their standards. E.g., if a man has a minimum wage job, only high school education, and lives with five roommates, then he shouldn’t expect to date women with professional jobs who can afford to live alone — even if she comes from the same social class originally. A guy like that, experiencing downward social mobility, needs to date someone in a similar situation, which may mean dating “down” either in looks or in social background. When I lived in London I found it mildly hard to date women who were as pretty as what I was used to, because I was competing with the most successful men in the world for a set of women who generally don’t value their appearance. I valued companionship so I settled for a temporary relationship with someone not that attractive. Instead of being bitter I just accepted the conditions and lowered my standards. When I lived in Kyiv, it was extremely easy to date. Not just pretty girls from the village, but very pretty professors, doctors, lawyers and IT executives, who had multiple graduate degrees and had travelled abroad a lot and spoke perfect English. Mind you before the war. On Khreshatyk, the main high street, I would often see gorgeous women walking away from average-looking men, crying after being broken up with. I’ve never seen anything like it. I guess that sounds awesome from a male perspective but it actually creates a lot of other problems. Namely, women are typically scared to communicate their needs for fear of being abruptly dumped, and this is coupled with (often) extreme paranoia and drama related to fear of being cheated on.

Depends what you mean by left. For Mao, all power comes from violence or the threat of violence. For Lenin, the role of the state is to enforce class exploitation. The actual left is pretty cynical. I agree that liberals have a deluded idealistic view of reality.

I agree, there’s an element of the red/orange Owen Cooke bitter former drug dealer / incel worldview in a some of what Leo says about political stuff and dating. Not saying it’s wrong, but the framing is a bit negative and odd sometimes.

My definition of a state means you have monopoly on legal organized violence within your territory. The Bruderhofs try to deal with problems internally and avoid calling police, but if the police raid them, they cannot fight the cops off even if they wanted to.

You need high entry costs to deter criminal elements. To join the Bruderhofs, you have to donate everything you own to the community. To become a Hasidic Jew, you have to adopt a whole set of fringe beliefs and an extreme regime of holidays, daily prayer, etc.

I know some elites, and I don’t think they are consciously slitting throats or whatever (although they are on some level). For them it’s just professional decision-making and if people are vulnerable to the outcomes, that’s their responsibility. Most elites are smart, but not particularly deep thinkers.

Yeah so you say, “I don’t think we’re compatible long term.” And leave the door open for both to date other people. You don’t directly say you’re looking for someone else or have another gf, that’s just rude.

@Twentyfirst is basically right, not every woman is looking for a long-term serious relationship. Many are scared of commitment and getting hurt, so prefer something casual, or think the whole idea of long-term monogamy is politically problematic haha.

@Leo Gura I know what you mean, but there are also anarchists who don’t want to abolish the state but want to mostly ignore it and live under the radar, cooperating with a small community of people they trust. Basically a return to pre-industrial craft and agricultural society, when the state was still very weak. Of course they can’t resist the police or whatever, but they mostly just opt out — don’t use bank credit, create small community schools, object to military service, and try to stay off the grid. The Bruderhofs are one extreme example but there are non-religious people who try living like this too. I don’t think this will change or improve society overall, stop imperialist wars, or end capitalism, but I can see how it’s an attractive way to live for a certain kind of personality.

If you’re under 25, sure maybe. This doesn’t work in adult relationships where you actually rely on each other for maintaining a household, raising children, caring for elderly family members. You need a stable partner you can trust, and the only way you get that is if you’re stable too. That doesn’t mean put up with nonsense, but you have to be willing to articulate problems and try to work them out over time — like, at least 3-6 months — before abruptly leaving. Otherwise the woman will be able to tell you’re flaky and disinvest.

@Actualising I don’t know what your personality is like. However, in dating (in the West) it’s assumed that you’re together because you’re the best available option for each other. If you find someone better and leave, she can’t get mad at you for that, unless you were cheating. You can soften the blow by telling her in advance of the breakup that you doubt it will work out long term for xyz reason, and then she gets to create some distance while still getting the support from the relationship. Unfortunately, for my personality, I need to go a bit further and find it’s better to start replacing people before I move on from them. Otherwise, when I break things off with someone who is not a good long-term partner, in the following weeks I freak out and end up taking them back.

PUA and gold-digging subcultures both take reasonable impulses and then push them to unhealthy extremes. It's gotten worse since 2008. Pre-2008 RSD, for example, was mostly just rehashed Tony Robbins positivity stuff. The dark marketing stuff became useful post-2008 when you suddenly had a lot of unemployed young men with little to do. Later, people like Roosh V pushed it to even darker directions.

@Princess Arabia I don’t really agree, going out to meet partners for casual sex I has been a normal part of Western culture since the 1960s, the pua guys are especially thirsty and weird about it but the behavior they’re trying to optimize is basically normal. Gold digging is not. Thank you for sharing the video, quite interesting.

I don't think he needs to care about them as people as he doesn't know them, and many men have a physical type and/or style they're attracted to, and that's okay and not necessarily objectification or anything like that. But I do think the whole "target" vocabulary and mindset reeks of thirst. You just have a hypothesis that you might like to talk to this person based on how they look and move -- that's all you've got to go on before you talk to this person. They're not a "target" lmao.

@UpperMaster It just as often back-fires. The woman you're interested will assume you're interested in her friend and write you off The friend might like you and block the switch to the friend It can seem like you were struggling with the friend so you switched to the woman you're interested in, which looks desperat This is especially the case if the friend is less conventionally attractive than the girl you're interested in.