@Cosmic-Resplendence you are not accepting what happened , it seems you are swinging on a pengilum between trying to heal from the past and then hating yourself for what happened , which is why it keeps coming back up
for myself this was an endless cycle I struggled with because he past trauma disrupted the way I wanted to perceive myself , it was a deep cut to my character
I’m not sure if I am allowed to say this but I learned about the multiverse and reality shifitng and then I simply shifted into a reality where the event didn’t happen
after that I was no longer struggling with the trauma
