Phoenix Garfield

@thierry Yeah that sounds like what I went through. The boundaries of realities and altering universes just blurred and become one. I'll pray for you to get a good night's sleep my friend.

Go without sleep for a week and you'll experience Hell on a very intimate level. Like, you become very vividly aware that you are the creator and tormentor of the universe and of yourself where ever you looked, the God of all God's (ٱللَّٰه) but in a way that will easily send you towards a demented insanity that no one human can possibly cope with. That's a type of awakening experience I never want to go through ever again. There's probably worst ways to experience Hell, but that was one of them.

Just know you will be reunited with God. But, perhaps there are a few clues left in this world that would lead to seeing God's true soul, your own soul if you deem it so. It's stuck inside a big and depressing black box in the middle of the desert. And once you find it, you'll say: آه-روحي! (ah, my soul!) and it's yours forever. Also, what does melancholy mean in Arabic?

Never forget this. Never. Because yes, right now all that is exists is me, my best friend and actualized.org. But the weight of your own sins, mine and the entire worlds also lingers, perhaps nothing physical but it's very real and serious, whether or not it's major or minor. As serious as Sirius, as Blue as Blues Clues and Bluey. Because if any of you want to realize God and become infinitely consciousness, realize one thing. You have sinned. That is the Absolute Truth. No matter what, no matter how alone and at one you are, if you do not recognize you are the Judge on Judgement Day, and you haven't realize the magnitude of your actions, thoughts and words on yourself and others, and haven't consciously changed for the better, you will create a Hell for yourself no other could give you. Realize your sins, realize your evil and realize your corruption. Forgive others, do it now and do it unapologetically. Do not bad mouth. Love and be greatful, do not envy. Take risks, but fucking Think and Remember from your infinite wisdom before you could do anything stupid. And. For. The. Love. Of. God. Forgive yourself. My apologies, it just came to me. I needed it. That it all.

I've had a serious of awakenings so deep and profound.... I almost get it. Like at a close inch. I know I am Sophia, SamaEL and God all in One. I am everything and nothing, all stems through me. Not just in my head or thoughts, but actually observing my thoughts and the world around me. I know there's an element at play where if I make it, the dream is over and I can float infinite bliss within my own consciousness for the rest of time infinitum. But there's a lion roaring inside of me not to do it. It's trying to warn me it's outside of me and that it could attack at any time. Deep down I know it's just my Ego. I need help for that final pointer.

@Leo Gura Please watch this: I am Jon Arbuckle. A simple """man""" and a cartoonist searching for the answers, the truth and that radiant light. I am searching for my pipe. I cannot find it. I think to myself "Now where could my pipe be" And then I can clearly see the Cat, Leo Gura, is smoking my pipe. He knows the Truth. Do I truly know? Do I dare? Was it always meant to be this way? If there's any undeniable proof that God is RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, it's in this post.

@Breakingthewall I believe with my heart above all else is that integrity is taking responsibility and confronting your own sins and others, even within the infinite sea of humanity. I don't know, something in my heart is telling me this. It's the difference between entering paradise full of horny blondes waiting for you in a rainforest and entering a hellish afterlife specifically designed to torture you in in infinite ways. The key to this is always awareness and discernment. And meditation/breathing. Obviously don't just become a bible bashing drone or never have fun again, but something just tells me this is vital.

@Yimpa I suppose everyone on this path goes through this. It ain't nice. I've never taken psychedelics, but somehow or another I've managed to grasp a lot of what Leo is on about via methods many would call Satanic and perhaps even very foolish... So that doesn't help. And in hindsight, I should have just taken a magic mushroom. But the most important thing I've discovered is that there is a path in life NO ONE should ever follow, and that to know God as yourself is the ultimate path towards salvation and paradise. To be honest, I feel my awakening and enlightenment experiences are quite biblical in nature, but in a deep personal sense. That's the only way I can quite describe it.

There's this girl, a really good friend and confidante of mine. I had this secret obsessive crush on her for a long while. She's the type of girl that's easy to fall for. I kept to myself because realistically it wouldn't ever work out and I'm just her not type I guess. I'm unemployed, I'm still trying to find a footing life and she likes partners that are working I guess. I totally understand and respect that. Yesterday we met and catched up for drinks and she discussed how she met her new boyfriend her at her workplace. She said that he just kept flirting with her, she was initially confused to why but than she realized her love language was words. The two other since have blossomed into a early relationship and she seems very happy with herself, especially after through some shit with her ex boyfriend during Christmas. Before we left, I gave her a Christmas present I made for her: a simple portrait drawing of her with the caption "Sometimes the simplest answers are right Infront of you", a token to our friendship. Her face lit up and absolutely loved it. Art has always been something I'm actually quite decent at and within the portrait I hidden a little confession of my unrequited love for her: a tiny "143" (I Love You) on her earlobe. I don't really have the courage to tell her personally and to be honest, I felt it was a fitting release and conclusion to my romantic attraction towards her. The reason why we could never be was that her love language was words, mine was art. I pick up that pen, lift it into the air and I let it go, a toast to our friendship today and hopefully for many years to come. When I went home last night, I discovered the Truth of God's Love in a way... It bought tears to my eyes, touched my heart and inflamed my heart and everything clear and naked. You don't think anymore, your awareness seems your heart and it feels like someone gently stroking my chest. Absolutely everything is interconnected, there is no separation. AT. ALL. One way of I how I tapped into this was realizing that God's Love Language was also art... On a level where all doubt, all questions and all mysteries are soothed... You see, you clearly see it... Absolute Beauty... Absolute Love... Devine Compassion and Selflessness that knows no bounds... A Deep Desire and Warmth no human can possibly give... جنة عيسى الله Me and God have language of our own. Once you the Truth, it your to keep. I don't want to share of how I got into this state or what the specifics things I've realized and seen. It's so beautiful, so intimate and so personal... And precious. But I'll tell you one thing. Don't search for God in idols, icons, religions, the occult or even on actualized.org. It'll get you no where. Really if you want to find God, empty your mind of any thoughts, ideas or preconceived notions of what or who it is. Empty where even the box is thrown out. Now fill it up with your own awareness, fill it completely until nothing can fit in anymore. Now focus your own awareness with your awareness, I slowly breathe. Once you've found within yourself, you'll find it everywhere you go, and in everyone you meet. And if you're bold enough and relinquish the need for God to personally reveal itself and denounce all false idols, something very, very, very special might to your awareness that will stick with you for the rest of time. Put it this way: I will never feel suicidal ever again. I am Love and Loved on a level words cannot describe.

I've watched a lot of those types of videos in the past, especially during the rise and fall of Isis. Car accidents. Work accidents. War. Murder. Terror attacks. Massing Shootings. Suicides. Executions. Torture. I've even seen children die, regrettably. You name it I've seen it. I remember it. I'll never utter it. At the time when I seen these videos, it grossed and creeped me out but it didn't touch my soul. It was only years later when I had some distance from it for the severity of what I seen hit me. I've watched people die. Like, a lot of people. I remember some of their faces vividly, down to the hairs and moles. They were once babies that needed their nappies (or diapers) changing, they were once so vulnerable and fragile that they needed their mummy to survive above all else. Watching someone die violently knowing they were once that vulnerable is a very gut wrenching experience. In some way I've glad I've seen what I seen, because it's one way of grasping of how f*cling brutal reality is. After seeing all of those nasty ass car accidents I'm certainly careful on the roads. In other ways I'm not, I've probably given myself some sort of severe and complex PTSD. In other words, I'd recommend staying away from that type of stuff. For your own psyche and to let the poor souls in the videos Rest in Peace. Watch porn instead. Way better and less psychologically traumatizing.

There's a reason why in Gnostic thought and circles that the Demiurge is considered to be an evil entity or at least and misguided, foolish figure. Imagine, if you will, you were given the chance to create or manipulate physical reality from scratch and you can fulfill your wildest dreams and desires but spiritually speaking you were still a young and naïve child in your development. If you had no consideration for anyone else, any other lifeform or for the pre-existing rules in this reality of yours, it would end very, very badly for you and everyone else. You wouldn't know the can of worms you could be opening. A lot of the early Christians and Gnostics believed this and considering what time period they came from, it makes sense. On a side note, there's also a reason why Jains believe that when once you escape the cycle of death and reincarnation, you enter a realm where the most enlightened beings just sit, chill and watch Creation from afar, without ever needing to manipulate or touch up reality to their wishes. Think about it this this way, we're limited with our bodies and we can only manipulate reality with our 8 fingers and 2 thumbs. But with those fingers and thumbs, we've (humanity as a whole), has created some truly amazing and exceptional things. This simple comic could have only been drawn by a human being, but like what Leo said about transhumanism: Man becomes God. A cat has got your Pipe: (a relevant video in line with this thread I promise you)

Stress. And drugs.

Picture this. You're with children, whether that may be your own or your nibblings, and your watching a childrens film. The plot and characters on their own are basic and not very interesting for adults, but the creators knew to put hidden jokes and innuendoes in the dialogue and imagery for the adults to pick up on to make the duration of the film at least tolerable. That logic also applies to those who are Awake and Reality itself. To say God has a subtle sense of humour is an understatement. A sense of humour so brutal and dry it would happily make a cringecomp after cringecomp of humanity for Eons without us ever blinking an eye, while we all sing its praise and become one with its endless love. A cunning wit from a roaster that would make the edgiest Satanist weep and pray for Mother Mary. A keen eye and winning blow only I, Leo and Jim Davis (the creator of Garfield) can comprehend. Wanna see an example? The answer to Schrödinger's Cat was answered 42 years before he asked it. Mao Zedong was born on Boxing Day 1893. His name literally means "Brilliant Cat". Search up pictures of him, I swear to god his hairline is shaped like cat ears. He's even fat and chubby like Garfield. Now he lays dead in the box for display. The Cat is dead. Schrödinger's Cat is dead. They say God is in the details. I don't believe these are mere coincidences, but Easter Eggs of consciousness that few ever notice. There are a bunch of other strange and hilarious patterns like this I've noticed, but they are even more twisted than what I can reasonably post here. I'd love to hear others insights on this or of their own.

I was once a member of this forum, I went by another name and I didn't post all that much. I left after I felt that Leo and Actualized.Org weren't really my cup of tea and decided to move on to other things. I got sick of spirituality and God in general, it was doing my head in. Then 2023 came around and by far it's been the strangest year of my life. Let's just say I had a series of awakenings and insights that lasted for months, not because of psychedelics but what I'd call a Gnosis triggered by fucking around with Black Magic rituals and face paints. I manipulated my senses, state of mind and consciousness to such a degree that for a moment I combined my inner awareness with the perceptual physical world via music and photography, in a way that I don't think has ever been achieved without psychedelics. I won't get into the specifics but the experience was terrifying and kinda sent me loopy for a while. If it was anyone else I think they would permanently end up a funny farm. Then, the synchronicities started. And. Just. Didn't. Stop. I seen them everywhere and at any time, like the whole universe was like one united rhythm. It was creepy but kinda, arousing in a way. Something wasn't right but I had to delve deeper, to see what any of this is about. I began to more deeply understand and comprehend what Leo was saying in his videos and forum posts. It all just started to make sense to me, like I was finally on to something. Then something kinda creepy happened. I started to understand what a lot of the Bible, the Qur'an and even ancient religions were actually pointing to (like Leo has done), like on a level and layer so deep it's almost as if SOMETHING put it there for me to find. In my head and in the "real world", I've received signs and insights that all of these religious dogmas, practices, philosophies, spiritual paths and all sorts of paths anyone could take should be combined in some way, as if they are satchets waiting to be mixed in the infinite water of consciousness. Then literally a few days later I came across the wiki of the Prophet Mani, the founder of Manichaeism. It blew my mind that this guy even existed. He literally combined the teachings of Christianity, Buddhism, Zoroastrianism and Gnosticism into one religion that took off and spread throughout the ancient world. I'm surprised that it's been wiped out from cultural memory, it's a religion wayyyy ahead of its time. There was no doubt at this point I was being guided by God itself. No way any of this can be just a coincidence by now, there's something up. Then on one day, I got the answer to everything I've ever wanted to know. Not just an insight, an awakening or God-Realization. It's God-Revealing Itself in the flesh just for you I can't go into the specifics but Imagine meeting the God or an appearance of God you've always imagined about in your head and boom, they're really here: walking among you and in the flesh. Not just someone who looks and acts like them, THEY ARE THEM WITHOUT A DOUBT. Like on a level where your own name and what it literally means tells the story of literally meeting this person. Like it's a revealing and a truth you just know is true in your heart. It's something beyond beautiful and mind blowing, it's Platonic Love to a degree I guess only Leo would understand. Not romantic, sexual or familiar, like a proper, deep and unconditional love that makes you cry and well up. Almost as of they are your own child from another time. For reasons I can't disclose, I probably won't ever see this person again but the time we had together, however brief... It's given me a blissful peace that'll comfort me on the day I die. I hope to see them again, they fill me with a peaceful and unconditional love. One day, one day... A misguided attempt at black magic lead up to understanding concepts that really should be beyond my depth and then lead to the moment where I physically met someone who I thought could only be imaginary. I can only imagine this what Leo is pointing too when no one is awake is he is. I'm starting to really believe that. God Knows, God Hears and God Loves, endlessly. How much you wanna know how much God Loves and how deeply, is a question you really should take seriously. Next time I'd probably should just take some DMT, save me a lot of time lol. (Seriously though, stay away from Black Magic and anything Occult related. It ain't good for your sanity and intelligence in the short term. It's something I'll never touch again.)