Paradoxed

Don't do it Leo, Salvia is a bad time. There is serious time dilation which is confusing and it's very hard even for the most grounded individuals. I manifested as inanimate objects multiple times. Totally nonsensical mind-fuck. I didn't see any potential for insight unless you are just curious about the nature of it

Marianne Williamson is our savior

If I squirt enough 5meo into me bum I will be more conscious than you and your kriya yoga

Shrooms are weird. If you're worried do like 4-6 cubes which is probably like a gram. You can always do more later. But its not going to be less weird because its chocolate.

I didn't watch the video but I think my scapegoat would be my parents. There is always a part of me that is bitter about interpersonal situations, miscommunications, the odd resentment adults feel for their children, getting physical with me in a multitude of inappropriate ways, setting a bad example through extreme emotions like anger, not allowing me my solitude, overstepping boundaries, not being open-minded, teaching me the wrong way to live, etc. On paper they were good parents, middle class and cared about our well being but usually at the expense of actually understanding me or knowing me at all or even respecting me a lot of the time. As I got older and after my Mom's death I started to forgive my parents, realizing that they were both sleepwalking through life, distracting themselves, keeping themselves busy. They were following societies rules. I had reckless abandonment and questioned everything. I was resentful and depressed. Still to this day it is astounding the level of truth avoidance and distraction my father inflicts upon himself, like he's never going to die as long as he keeps himself busy. Any level of real or deep conversation is frowned upon and lost on him. I learned how unconscious my parents were and I could forgive them easily. I started seeing my parents as sad puppies that had no idea what the fuck they were doing, even to the point that I found it pathetic. I had to stop blaming them after that. When I was a young teen I blamed society, as I got older I blamed my parents. Now I take responsibility for my life. It's so important for people to take responsibility for their own lives and not develop a victim mindset, which I definitely did as a teenager and still occasionally find myself doing. When I'm going extra deep I take full responsibility for everything as God the creator (outer world being a reflection of inner world) but I think that conversation is for another day

Its easier for an individual to cope than to do the work to fix their situation. It's sort of how people find creative ways to avoid work at like a job or something. It would be easier to just do the job well and accept responsibility. People actually work harder at avoiding responsibility than they do at trying new approaches or attacking a problem from a different angle. We are all guilty of this to some degree but incels take their truth avoidance to the next level. It's actually insane

I have done low doses of 5meo, I can definitely see the healing potential at low doses despite what people say. It puts you in a meditative state, almost like pure sense perception and awareness. Everything is bright and you are high but you are still fully capable, while feeling detachment, which could be good or bad. But I never thought of it as recreational, I would never do it like at a party or something. Although I am fond of the euphoric feeling afterwards. But I ultimately stopped doing this because I don't know about side effects on your heart. 5meo scares me too much tbh

I'm sure you understand that increased desire will just increase your lack of fulfillment, you are only one person. If you are spreading yourself too thin you won't really be fulfilled in any of your pursuits. Personal development is only good if you are not holding yourself to ridiculous standards. When you start holding yourself to ridiculous standards you need to take a step back and just get back to your baseline. If you don't know what your baseline is than I would go lock yourself in a room and meditate until you figure it out. It's actually great to admit you want things but it's like walking a tightrope imo

Ass tits and feet, hell yeah dude

tab of acid

Life is just a cosmic joke that you take seriously. Ironically if you treat life like a joke you're probably in for a bad time. But if you treat life too seriously life is torture. So you have to laugh at it all while pushing forward. Everyone knows a drunk idiot who just listens to comedy podcasts and doesn't take his life seriously, wallowing in self pity and getting nothing done. Those people just love drama and BS. I'm glad they have their coping mechanism but that's not fun or funny to me. Comedy is a form of escape from the meaningful nature of life (there is no meaning to your life whatsoever but it's important to your well being to play this game). Comedy is like a break from all the work you are doing. The joke is your ego playing its game and the paradoxical nature it. Human nature is hilarious. You don't need anything but the present moment and that makes you laugh after years of banging your head against the wall

That sounds amazing! Glad it was a good experience

So I did NN-DMT a couple nights ago, and I experienced something I hadn’t experienced before. After taking my last hit, I felt the “oh fuck” intensity of the DMT come up. I was really going for it, for a big breakthrough, so I had quite a bit of DMT packed in the bong. I heard the typical ringing in my ears, getting louder and louder, as I felt the fabric of the universe starting to rip apart. I prepared myself. Suddenly, my consciousness pushed out of the front of my head. Not kidding. This was unlike anything I have ever experienced. I was looking back on myself, onto the center of my forehead, specifically the ajna chakra (like where someone would wear a bindi). I was only about an inch away from my own head, looking back at this center area of my forehead. This only lasted 5-10 seconds until my consciousness transported again, back into my head. I felt a swirling sensation as my consciousness re-entered my body, entering very intensely. It actually hurt where consciousness entered my head, giving me what felt like a tension headache. After this, I didn’t fully breakthrough. I got to the “waiting room” elevator stage of the DMT experience, where I have been before many times. I observed a female entity swirling and dancing around me that I had seen before. She was scary, and I remembered being scared the last time I encountered her. This time, I believe because I have been meditating, I was able to just observe her and not be frightened, or not react to the fear immediately. She was honestly not scary at all and just dancing around. I was sort of trapped in this dark elevator-like place until the experience was over, wishing I could take another hit. Usually when you are in the elevator stage, you didn’t do enough DMT. I may be locked out of the full DMT experience, at least until I figure out a better way to actually do it. I need an e-mesh vape, or a crack pipe or something. One time I did it out of my dab rig and it gave me lock jaw ruining the experience. I am curious if anyone else has ever experienced an out of body experiences on DMT? I know this is more common with dissociative drugs like ketamine. Overall pretty cool experience!

I would say IR adderall (low milligram, like 5 or 10 mgs) would be good as you will be actively engaged in conversation with others, and it wouldn't last too long. Try not to take it too late at night as it would keep you up. Make sure it is the instant release so you aren't locked into a 10 hour experience. There are downsides though, you would develop a tolerance, or get addicted, you would basically be relying on meth to socialize. I would just learn to be relatively sober and be okay with that, maybe have a few beers like everyone else. I like doing LSD (very low dose) in social situations but I wouldn't recommend it if you aren't experienced.