El Rio

Partially resisting,,,,did you read this? "I was trying to meditate but at times felt overwhelmed with this substance. Opening my eyes seemed to act as an anchor and returned me to some "normality". So I went back and forth for about 30 minutes, eyes closed, exploring my consciousness and then eyes open when it became too much." It's fucking scary for the ego mind to lose control.

After having some MALT sitting around for about a month I finally tried some last weekend. I put about 5 grains on a wet thumb and transferred to my tongue as an allergy test. Waited 45 min, no bad effects so ready to proceed. The dosing on this is difficult because I don't have much context or experience with such small quantities. I read every report on every page of the MALT mega-thread and from what I could gather, those who have a very accurate balance claim that the red (10-15 mg) micro-scoops actually hold about 7 mg of this substance. I bought the black scoops (5-10 mg) which from a volume perspective seem to be 6/10ths of the red scoop. So I assumed one black scoop was about 4 mg. I filled one to slightly over the edge (5 mg?) and insufflated. It came on within 10 minutes with a very warm, embracing feeling and was very mild. I meditated through the experience and enjoyed an enhanced clarity of mind with longer than normal spaces between thoughts. Trial 1...a success! So last night I made two small piles of 4 scoops each. So I estimate 12-14 mg in each. If the first dose wasn't enough, I'd have a 2nd dose ready. And wisely, I only dosed with the one pile! It came on pretty hard in about 15 minutes. I was trying to meditate but at times felt overwhelmed with this substance. Opening my eyes seemed to act as an anchor and returned me to some "normality". So I went back and forth for about 30 minutes, eyes closed, exploring my consciousness and then eyes open when it became too much. I got up when it felt like I had peaked and walked to the bathroom with no obvious issues (although I would not want to dive in this condition!). I sat back down on my cushion and apparently moving around brought on the real peak so another 10 minutes of drifting deep in mind and then holding my damn anchor when it felt like too much. Total peak experience about 1 hour. The following hour coming down was very nice meditating under MALT. The clarity of mind is impressive with this substance. I think with another similar sized dose and now with sort of a road map of this experience (so that I am not constantly assessing my condition) I may get more out of it. But for me, there was no "God realization" or ego-death or anything dramatic like the "sea of love" as I have experienced multiple times with cubensis shrooms. Final note, it was 4 hours total elapsed time before I could sleep. So my question for experienced psychonauts is; Was my dose too small for a breakthrough experience? With a higher dose does one lose the ability to grab the anchor of safety with open eyes? I may need this aspect of having to surrender. Thanks is advance!

Go do something really good for someone else. Even a stranger. You may find something in a giving action.

Thank you all for the input. The change during the mushroom journey's was abrupt. It also coincided with a very intense pressure around the 3rd eye area. I mean intense! On the first B&W trip, it felt like the energy just above the bridge of my nose was being twisted. Right to the edge of painful, but not quite, And this pressure still is intense to this day on every meditation, breathwork and at night when I wake from a dream. I've been to the black void during a sober meditation session. Unfortunately, I didn't know what to do with the experience. So I observed it, and "moved on". I do indeed have a new pathway open to me now. And some of you here have helped me discover it, so thanks in advance. (I hope).

LambdaDelta, I don't disagree that this may only be a concept in the mind. But what do you make of the black and white issue? Shrooms usually provide the most brilliant colors. To me, it's not worth it in B & W.

I had a 3.75 g trip on a stronger strain (Ecuador) about a year ago. With eyes closed I saw these forms that were similar to preying mantis' made from oblique triangles of glass or plastic in pastel colors. The parts (triangles) would fly apart and then reform in a slightly different shape. I watched this for several minutes until I got the idea, "I think these forms have consciousness!" and I decided to merge with them. Instantly a fear occurred, "NO, bad idea. These may be evil or harmful entities." And the next thought was, "Yeah, I've thought this same thing every time I seen something weird." So I went for it and merged and instantly the triangle shapes were gone and I found myself before a being of some sort, made of light. It too was constantly coming apart and reforming and it was literally nauseating to "look at" because of the confusion of the never-ending movement. But suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of love. The next hour or so was spent in very deep feelings of love for everyone and everything. Beautiful! But ever since that experience of 3 gram+ dosages everything has appeared in black and white. It's like I'm being denied the beautiful colors of the mushroom experience. At first I thought it was the shrooms themselves, but this has repeated with other strains. And the trips have not been great. Black and white. On my last experience (3.3 g Ec.), my intent was on my true nature and it started out great. I found myself suspended in the cosmos looking at far and near galaxies and stars and some understanding was revealed to me. But I could not remember it later. I just knew I had an understanding. And then I sort of blanked out and found myself in the chair coming down a bit and the trip went south from there. I started hearing the "chittering and chattering" that has appeared before on bad trips. At this point the black and white images returned. Luckily I was about 3 hours in so I didn't have to endure the "bitching" by Mother Mycelium for very long. I don't know what to make of this, but I wonder if this doorway is no longer open to me? Or did I break some sort of rule with the merging and now I'm on a leash...so to speak? Mushroom experiences are weird, but also beautiful and I've learned much from past trials. But at this point, I'm hesitant to try again. Any input or thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.

Admitting this to your self (and others) is a great first step! Keep on the path.

Samaneri Jayasāra is a Buddhist Nun and has a very soothing and calm voice fore guided meditations. And these meditations are full of content and wisdom. I highly recommend!

A couple weeks ago I posted a video on "Shamanic Breathing". I continue to be greatly impressed by the results of this relatively simple practice. And now that I've completely withdrawn from consuming "news", I find myself much happier and and have hours more time each day. But as I've been going through these breath sessions I came upon this more advanced and longer video (44 min). Does it really release DMT naturally into the system? I have no context with this having not experienced DMT. But I can absolutely say it will transport you into a higher realm. This is a true "shortcut" to the higher self. Read the reviews from this video. Probably 75% of commenters say they ended up in tears. And this happened to both my wife and I. These were tears of joy and gratitude. If you want to try this, I would encourage you to start with a shorter like 15-20 minute session first (there are over 120 videos), and then move onto this more advanced model. I can promise you will not regret this experience!

I just had the most amazing idea. Let's play a game I've had a couple good encounters with Chat as well, but this was awesome!

Perhaps any one mind is not "more beautiful" than any other (isn't everything the same thing...or no thing?), but just more evolved at a given point. But honestly, why let shit like this bug you? Look around the world, billions of beautiful people mostly living an insane existence destroying their very environment due to the ignorance of human and cultural development. In other words, "pig minds". Don't take yourself too seriously. And don't take Leo too seriously.

Yes, Yimpa it does take some effort. I hit that feeling of joy again yesterday so I feel pretty sure this practice releases some sort of endorphin into the brain. One of this guy's videos talks about releasing DMT naturally into the body-mind. As I relaxed into normal breathing again yesterday the thought; "Every breath is a gift" came into my mind. And that felt very true to me.

I don't know much, but one thing I do know (through direct experience) is that the fabric of existence (Source) IS love. And this consciousness is always working towards love. It's the entire point. It's fair to call out hypocrisy when you see it, but in this case very few people on the planet have mastered unconditional love. We are all learning this skill. Forgive us while we learn. Trump is a person of low developmental consciousness as are most of his supporters. They see themselves in Trump and can relate. And it's also fair for those at a higher level of consciousness to be displeased with the additional suffering that we know The Donald is going to hoist upon the world and upon us. That said, it could be the suffering and misery that is coming from this low consciousnesses decision to elect Trump and his merry band of chaos makers is the fastest and most direct route towards love. We humans don't seem to have much inertial for changing. So thanks? We can only accept the lesson and learn or try to dodge it or try to change it.

I'm new to this site so this may have been brought up earlier by others. After watching Leo's Shamanic Breath Work video I went on YT to see if I could find something with the "drums" mentioned in the video. I found a terrific host for this practice (Breathe with Sandy) and he has around 60 videos with different themes and practices in pleasant settings and with different music. After doing the one on chakras, during the rest period I was overcome with a deep feeling of joy and inner "rightness". It was like the true me, was very happy with this practice. Western cultures don't talk much about breathing, but IMO there is much to gain from learning about the topic. Takes about 20 min to go through the process. I hope some will find something positive in the practice.

Thank you all for your responses. Get ready, because "my dream" is about to go full-on nightmare. My apologies in advance!