nexusoflife

@S33K3R Thanks!

I have been experiencing some strange phenomena in my life recently regarding my nervous system and my meditation practice along with using entheogens for consciousness work. As my enlightenment work continues I have noticed recently that I am getting minor headaches after deep meditations or using an entheogen. (I do not use entheogens frequently. Once a month or less.) Additionally during a profoundly deep mushroom experience I went through what Martin Ball calls bilateral symmetrical fractal energetic yoga positions. Whenever I meditate now I also feel tingling in my spine that slowly spreads to the rest of my body if I meditate long enough. My dreams are also much more vivid than they have ever been. Needless to say these strange occurrences have left me very curious as to what is happening with my nervous system at this point on my journey. Any helpful feedback, information/insights or books regarding this on this would be greatly appreciated.

@Leo Gura Thank you Leo. I will look into books on Kundalini, Qi, chakras, energy work and other things of that nature.

@Truth Seekah Thank you. I needed that more than you know.

The following songs have really helped me on my journey and have at times moved me to tears. I even had a peak unitive experience whilst listening to the last song on this list. I hope that these songs can help you as well.

As much as I think about life, existence and the universe I can't help but think that after we sort ourselves out here on earth and establish technological and ecological mutualism between humanity and the biosphere that our ultimate destiny as a species is the exploration and colonization of other celestial bodies in our solar system and beyond. This got me thinking about where space exploration would be today if barriers such as money, politics and ideology were not factors in space exploration. Does anyone else here think about such things, if so i'd like to know what you think.

I read Robert Lanza's Biocentrism a few months ago and found it to be very interesting. I myself have had a few very profound unitive experiences and his book resonates with me on an intuitive level. I was wondering what do any of you think of the theory that he proposes and how it relates to non-duality.

I need help some help. During my second year of college I had almost no days off between my responsibilities at school and going to work. The only times that I have been able to get a day to rest are when someone can fill in for me at work. This has only occurred about once each month. On top of my very busy schedule I have been dealing with severe depression for roughly a year. Due to my depression and the amount of stress I have been subject to, I have no friends and I spend almost all of my time outside of school and work in my room. The stress between work and school is definitely taking a toll on my psychological health and because of it I now have to see a psychologist. To be honest I don’t truly want to be in college, however I enrolled and stay because of family pressure. I get good grades but I truly don’t think it’s worth it. I would rather be happy in life than have a high GPA. The classes I am taking are irrelevant to my major and I learn much more about the subjects I am passionate about when I take my own time to learn them. School only adds to my depression because I feel that it is a waste of my time. Each time I enter my classes I can feel my soul being crushed. Don’t get me wrong, education is extremely important, I learn as much as I can in my limited free time, however the schooling system is just so broken and I simply want to be free from it and live my life. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get out of this and improve my life?

I have read several books on spirituality and enlightenment and I have also been meditating seriously for the past three years and have had a few unitive experiences. And in my experience all of these labels are essentially pointing to the same thing. However I would like the perspectives of others on this topic in order to gain a more integral understanding of this as I have much to learn.

@harisankartj Indeed it was. This is what I want to architect my entire life around. I feel that knowing the unity of existence is the most powerful thing that a human can experience and instead of going the average route that most people travel on I want to take a radically different direction in my life in which I can spend more time cultivating and learning more about meditation, spirituality, enlightenment, psychedelics, integral theory, self-development, veganism, sustainability, ecology, futurism, health, post scarcity economics, self-governance and space exploration (both outer and inner).

@Siim Land I am currently in college for environmental science and I am actually very interested in the subject. However the current structure of college and the american education system in general is causing me so much stress and I feel like I am going against myself each time I am going to class. I also have other things that I am deeply interested in as well and it is difficult for me to find a way to peruse what I really care about and go to college at the same time. In all honesty I would rather do what I am passionate about than waste time and money doing something that I don't really have a strong interest for. I really want to spend my time learning more about things such as, meditation, spirituality, enlightenment, psychedelics, integral theory, self-development, veganism, sustainability, ecology, futurism, health, post scarcity economics, self-governance and space exploration. Yet I feel that our education system constrains individuals into one area and focuses on hyper-specialization instead of allowing individuals to grow and learn naturally according to their skills, strengths and interests.

@harisankartj Thanks. I have actually been meditating almost every day for the past three years. I actually started when I was 17! Check out this earlier post about a unitive experience that I had. You may find it interesting.

@Morrtiz I understand that you do not mean to come across as mean, however I would like to ask you a question. Have you ever heard of a post scarcity resource based economy? Additionally I understand the fact that for most of human history humans had to fight to survive and that humans today have more time to think than they ever have and I am grateful for it. However the state of this world can be massively improved in almost every aspect? Humans must move past scarcity driven motivations if we are ever to see anything resembling widespread self actualization. Here is a documentary detailing a post scarcity resource based economy and the thinking behind my statement, " In society people can’t just live their life as they want. They have to work to earn money." It's quite interesting.

@ajasatya Thanks for reading and replying to my post. Right now I am doing my best to work through this phase in my life in order to not contribute to the amount of overall suffering in the world.

@Prabhaker Thanks, you're absolutely right. My depression is contributing to the overall suffering in the world. The more I work on myself the more apparent this is becoming in my awareness. I am going to make an effort to break out of this mindset as I can see that it is not only counter productive for what I want for the world but it is destructive as well.

@Visitor Thanks for reading and responding to my post. You're right. I am ignorant and the extent of that ignorance is yet to be known. For If I had more knowledge and awareness of my own psychology and various areas of life I would not be feeling this way. I would know how not to fall into suffering due to external circumstances. I really appreciate the fact that you mention how being depressed is what the ego wants. I never really thought of it that way. However when I do self inquiry and meditation I can see that the ego gets a sort of sick satisfaction from suffering.

@S33K3R Thanks for taking the time to read and reply to my post. It's good to know that there are other people who have felt similarly to how I do. I love your last paragraph regarding collective awareness and individual awareness. Thank you for writing it, I really needed to read that right now. That makes me think about all of the people who are working on self actualization and those working towards making this world a nicer place to live.

@Nahm Thanks for taking the time to read my post and respond. Your references to the quotes of Rumi, Gandhi and Bruce Lee are indeed powerful words and are some of my favorite quotes about life in general. I'm glad that you bring up the fact that I need something like a serious goal or endeavor in my life to focus on in order to do my part to help the world. I really think that I should take Leo's life purpose course, lately I have been thinking about my life's purpose, what it truly is and it's level of importance in my life.

@Michael569 Thanks for your reply and taking the time to help me out. I think that you are absolutely right about finding a personal meaning and ways to contribute. I've been thinking about my life purpose a lot lately and I am beginning to realize just how profoundly important that is in a human's life. I think that Leo's life purpose course may help me out with this. Thanks for helping me to see things in a more positive perspective.

@egoeimai Thanks for taking the time to read through my post I really appreciate it. You're right about perspective being subjective. The more I meditate and read the more I understand this. The difficult part for me is developing the emotional development necessary in order to avoid becoming saddened every time I think about the circumstances of the world currently.

@JustinS That sounds beautiful. I can see how that video can have a deep impact on someone as it is beautiful as well.

I was first introduced to psychedelic substances while reading online back in 2014. At the time I thought that they could be a useful tool for psychological inquiry and consciousness exploration. However I did not seriously begin to research and learn about psychedelics until 2016. It was at this time that I learned of the powerful healing effects of various substances such as DMT, Psilocybin, LSD and Cannabis if used responsibly. Then recently in 2017 I finally used cannabis as my first psychedelic tool. What happened afterwards was one of the strangest experiences of my life thus far. Note I would NEVER use these substances for recreational usage. I seek to learn as much about myself and existence as I can and psychedelics are a tool to help me with this. For the past three years I have been meditating from 20 minutes to an hour each day, I’m raw vegan (I only consume fresh fruits and vegetables), I am a very intellectually minded person and I have also had a few profound unitive experiences via meditation. This was the next step in my journey of consciousness exploration. As far as set and setting is concerned I was in a good place at the time of taking this in. Initially I was nervous however I calmed my mind via meditation and I was around individuals that I knew, although they were recreational users. The cannabis was loaded into a water bong and I took three large hits and used 1 gram of the plant for this experience. Being my first time it was very difficult not to cough too much however I did manage to compose myself. I was determined to go as deep as I possibly could and knew the importance of THC absorption in cultivating an experience. As I took the third and final hit I could feel my perception of reality become distorted. I began to feel dizzy and nauseous. Those around me began to speak about activities to do while high. In my perception their voices became slowed and their movements slowed as well. I tried to participate in the conversation but this simply was not going to happen. I felt my body movements become slower and heavier. I began to stare at the plants near us with much intensity. The same connectedness that I felt in my meditative experiences was present here in this psychedelic experience as well. Within a few minutes I was compelled towards the ground, it was as if I was being pushed and pulled towards the ground at the same time. As I went down I saw what looked like a small bright orange smiling humanoid neon outline in my vision. I knew that things were about to get strange. As I hit the ground I passed out. Those around me at the time helped me up immediately and what follows was beautiful and very strange. It only took them maybe 15 or 20 seconds for them to get me up however in my perception it lasted much longer. My eyes opened and closed. All of the environment around me was heavily distorted and all of the vegetation was brightly colored and had that bright neon outline around it. The intensity of the sunlight was at least twice as radiant to me. As I felt them lifting me I wanted to go deep in this experience I had a thousand questions in my head and wanted to stay exactly as I was. In my mind there was a menagerie of voices from every trip report that I had ever seen online or read. I was various places in my mind such as waterfalls and fields. There was a bit of fear present from the ego, due to the weirdness of all of it, however it vanished quickly. I then heard a voice subconsciously that said, “Just let go”. I subconsciously responded (I was unable to speak verbally) “I will go anywhere you take me”. And so I completely let go of all control. I felt that in order to stand up I had to forcefully will my body to do so. By the time they raised me to my feet I saw those around me as beings of light. Their bodies were a bright blue light and they were shining so brightly it was as if the sun was within each of them. They helped me inside the house I knew that I was walking and awake but everything was so blurry and I was still very dizzy. I passed out again shortly after on a mattress. This time things got weirder. As I was out I felt very nauseous. I saw many strange psychedelic images as well. I don’t know how to explain it but I will try my best. I also had audio hallucinations. I believe one of the sounds that I was hearing was a fusion of my heartbeat and breathing, however it sounded very alien and esoteric yet beautiful at the same time. There were other audio hallucinations as well. As my eyes were closed there were hundreds of shapes, colors and figures constantly shifting. My body also felt very limp and strange. There were entities talking to me although I could not understand them. Although I do know that they were loving. They were not humanoid and their “bodily” shapes were outlined with bright colors. They had no other visible parts only the outline. The audio hallucinations continued. As I “slept” I could hear music from outside but it was so much louder and vivid than it normally would have been. It was as if it was only 20 feet away from me instead of a few hundred. Although the music was a genre that I am not fond of the pure audio sounds of the music and the rhythms I heard were made so beautiful by the cannabis. The closed eye hallucinations continued. The light beings that I saw from before were here again but were present as outlines. They told me about love and showed me love. What they said and how they showed me love, I do not remember. Then they took me through many places which I don’t know how to describe. I even saw the light entity I saw back in 2012 when my mother passed away. This was by far the most beautiful part of the experience. More things occurred after this and then there was just pure blackness. After three hours I somewhat awoke. I was still not fully lucid and reality was still distorted. I stayed up for about one hour. During this hour I listened to two songs that I prepared for this day. These songs sounded more beautiful than I had ever heard them before. I took down some quick notes of the experience and then went to sleep for the night. The next morning I woke up and I was so happy. Happy to be alive, happy to exist and happy to even experience existence. For about half of the next day I felt as If I had just finished a very deep meditation session. My mind was calm and content with experience. I know that this was far from the average experience one gets from smoking cannabis and I feel that this experience occurred the way that it did was due to a few factors. My several hundreds of hours of meditation may have had some sort of deepening effect on the way how I responded to the cannabis. Additionally I wanted a deep experience and wanted to use this as a tool for spiritual growth, mental exploration and consciousness exploration. The foods that I have been eating for the past three years may have also had an effect on it as well. Overall this was the strangest thing that I have ever experienced thus far in my 20 years of life and I really can’t accurately put into words exactly what I experienced on that day. What I can say in closing is this. We are loved. Despite all of the weird forms that I saw there was never anything to be afraid of. All of existence is ONE. I view this as a positive learning experience and hope to delve deeper into my mind and slowly deepen my understanding of consciousness with other psychedelics in the future. So to those out there with far more psychedelic experience than I do, what do you think of my first experience with cannabis? Any feedback would be appreciated. This video gives a good idea of what the various entities I saw looked like. Skip to about 4:15 in. These are the two songs that I listened to during this experience.

@Emerald I actually watch your YouTube channel, The Diamond Net! I really enjoy your videos. It sounds like you experienced a slight sense of unity from it. I am definitely going to look into edible marijuana and see how deep a psychedelic experience could be with it. Would you say that your experience with eating cannabis was similar to my experience?

@Wyatt Thanks for the information. Cannabis being comparable to psilocybin mushrooms is definitely huge in it's potential to go deep into consciousness work. I can see why your friend had an ego death experience. I am going to do even more research on this subject.

Atlanta, Georgia, United States. Anyone else interested in self actualization live here?