nexusoflife

@Joseph Maynor Thank you for posting this! This is why i'm a raw vegan, for this reason and many others.

@gleb Thanks for taking the time to read through it. I really do appreciate it!

This is my recount of my first experience with LSD. I would like to begin by saying that I felt a level of stress in my life before I took this substance. I felt that all of society was constantly conspiring against my growth and development as a human being heading towards self-actualization. I awoke before 7 a.m. in the morning and I retrieved my LSD. For this trip I would not have a trip sitter available so I was on my own, however I have done high dose psychedelics from a nondual perspective in the past and thus I felt confident in my set and setting. I had four LSD tabs. I tested the tabs the day before using the Erlich testing reagent and they all registered as authentic Lysergic acid diethylamide. I cleared my room of anything that could potentially be damaged or that I might accidentally hurt myself with. I listened to Gregorian chants for about five minutes and began to meditate. I turned off all technology around me. After this I looked at the tabs of LSD and said, “I will go wherever you take me with grace”. I then placed the four tabs underneath my tongue and meditated at the edge of my bed. After what felt like 20 to 30 minutes the tabs dissolved and I swallowed them. Shortly after this I felt the first effects begin to take place. It felt as if all of the nerves just beneath my skin were warmed up by the substance. My mind while in a calm and meditative state became hyperaware of my surroundings. The mind asked questions such as will I be safe without a trip sitter? I slowly began to pass out as the LSD entered my serotonergic system. The LSD assured me that I would be safe. Then I saw a fractal energetic alien looking figure that said, “Ok, let’s get this started.” Next the ego structure melted. My body began to move in the bilateral yoga positions that Martin Ball talks about. My body contorted into positions which normally I couldn’t do. I had experienced this strange phenomenon before with psilocybin mushrooms. On the level of sensory perception I experienced something extremely strange. It was as if my senses began to meld into each other. No longer could I distinctly hear, see, smell, taste, or feel anything independently of each other. I smelled sensations, and heard colors, as insane as that sounds. My entire body was almost vibrating from the amount of nervous system stimulation that it was receiving. Notably, for what seemed like quite a while, my hands began to move in very odd ways and preformed a very strange type of sign language which was completely out of my control. It was as if the LSD had possessed my body and was trying to see how it could guide me similar to my psilocybin trip. Throughout most of the trip the mind was constantly making comparisons and drawing parallels my prior mushroom trip. However unlike psilocybin the lysergic acid diethylamide was much more lenient as a substance as the curious ego structure was not ever abruptly silenced. The nature of this substance in my opinion was a bit more lucid and exploratory than other psychedelics that I had experienced. After this my body passed out for a second time. My ego structure was further dissolved and my consciousness/awareness was sent to a place far outside of space and time. It was at this point that I was shown the infinity of existence. I am completely lacking in the vocabulary necessary to convey exactly what I experienced but I will do my best. My consciousness/awareness came to a place where it was shown the World of Form from an objective viewpoint. All of creation was seen as an Absolute Infinity in every way. I saw the infinite ever changing fractal nature of existence. My awareness was transported to other places across the world of form as well. I was shown what I can only describe as organic computers. These spiritual machines several millions of orders of magnitude more powerful than even the most advanced human quantum computers today. I also saw what I would call energetic crystal architecture. I distinctly remember a palace of sorts it looked like a cathedral and Hindu temple made of pure crystalline light. It was beyond beautiful. It was in complete harmony with the ecology of its setting. Fractals were everywhere and in everything. During this experience the ego wished to revisit the Akashic Records that it had seen before from the psilocybin; however the LSD conveyed that it’s all an Absolute Infinity, even the Akashic Records containing all of the knowledge in the multiverse are only an infinitesimally small part of the Absolute Infinity of existence. At this point the experience became chaotic as I lived the lives of countless organisms. The stories of entire lives were experienced in immeasurably short lengths of time. The mind was racing at the sheer amount of stimulation from the experience. Then the most amazing part of the experience occurred. I will do my best to describe this using the limits of language I was shown existence from outside of existence. I saw the totality of the infinity of existence as incomprehensibly beautiful and profoundly complex infinite fractals. Each fractal was an infinite layer of novelty. I began to hear this extremely strange yet beautiful “cosmic music”, the music of infinity. This music still played until I went to sleep that night. I learned that reality is infinite to such a degree that it cannot be anything else. My awareness returned to my body but was different. At this point I was still tripping extremely heavily. My entire field of vision was almost completely immersed in intricate morphing fractals of beauty. The state of awareness of my mind was very different. I began to gesture to smoke an imaginary blunt. Each time I took a hit from this nonexistent blunt my awareness became more and more aligned, aware and existential. Next, what happened was extremely beautiful. After about three hits from the imaginary blunt I began to speak in a voice that was not my own. It was as if the consciousness of the totality of existence began to speak through me. I had a dialogue with God. My mind would think thoughts and the body would reply verbally, channeling the message of this unity consciousness. I began to speak words that were not my own. It was as if the voice of God (being the infinity of existence) entered my entire being. God told me the following things using my body as a vector to relay. “Reality is an absolute infinity.” “The way your species is living on this planet doesn’t make any sense. You’re causing so much suffering. This earth is all we’ve got. We don’t have any way of moving out and even if we did wed just severely damage another planet.” “All of reality is infinite and everything is simply various forms which I use to experience existence and express myself and that’s really it, now you can do whatever you want with that.” “ It’s all an absolute infinity!” “Everything in all of the totality of existence is an absolute infinity in every way. “I really don’t know how I can make it any more apparent to you.” “It’s infinite to such a degree that its infinity to the infinite root of infinity.” “As long as you know that it’s all one you’ll be ok.” “Everything is going to be alright.” “You really don’t have anything to worry about young man. You’re on the right track. Stop rushing. That’s fear.” “ Fear is illusory.” “Don’t hold yourself back. I don’t hang out with people that hold themselves back, man!” “Really after all we’ve been through, after all the species has been through, you’re really gonna hold yourself back?” At this point I started crying, the mind realized the huge amount of suffering that it has caused itself over the course of its 20 years of life. “Enough with the excuses, no more excuses, stop holding yourself back.” “You’re writing a book. That’s good.” “ All life wants to express itself in every way possible. All lifeforms are expressions and express themselves as fully as they possibly can.” “If you’re going to do something, do it at your all because it’s an expression of life. Put all of your love, effort and energy into it. Anything less is not worthy of you or authentic of what you are capable of.” “Sometimes you’re not gonna have enough money but you’ll always make it through. You’re not gonna kill yourself that’s a no go.” “If we mess up here on earth we are going to mess up there too.” “You’re free to do what you want.” I conveyed to God my fears and insecurities regarding being social and vulnerable with other people. I also explained how even though my views of sexuality are by no means conservative that I still have subconscious thoughts which label various parts of the human sexual experience as negative or ugly. For this I felt ashamed of it. God replied “How’s that bad?! The intricacies of sexuality are just another part of the infinity of existence.” “You need to lighten up!” God also addressed my anxieties regarding sex both as it relates to me on an individual and how it relates to the collective. “You need to have sex. Sex opens you up. It opens your heart.” After this was said, all of the small amount of negativity that I associated with being a virgin left me. “Choose the way that equates to the most openness, love, life and full expression.” Love equates to openness. At this point my awareness was abruptly transported outside of physical existence again and I saw what I can only describe as an Infinite energetic fractal torus of everything. It was as if God said, “look at that! That’s the perfection of everything flowing freely. This is what you are. You are an energetic free flowing being. You are infinity. You are a microcosm of the macrocosm. Whenever you dwell in fear or doubt you block this ever present flow of energy within yourself. You deny me. But most of all you deny yourself.” I was also told things about the power of the placebo effect. However I do not remember exactly what was said. “What will it take for you to live the life that you know you can live?!” “You’re divine yet you live in shit hmm how’d that happen? (Referring to the human species) “Because you doubted me. Because you live in fear. Because you believe in the illusion of separation. The illusion of duality.” "There is only the infinite trans-temporal eternal pregnant present moment, of infinite possibility. What your species calls time, time does not exist.” After this the dialogue ended. I went into a different trance like state where a menagerie of glossolalia came from me. I spoke in words which sounded very similar to Tibetan throat singing. It felt amazing. I passed out again shortly after this. My awareness was shown the intricacies of energy and food systems, being that they are systems of transactions and that life is about balance in every way. This also relates to life and death. After some time my awareness returned to my body and the ego structure somewhat reformed. The strange sensations all over my body were so pervasive that I thought I had soiled myself however I did not. My body was covered in sweat. The come down portion of the experience began. It had been roughly seven hours since I had ingested the lysergic acid diethylamide. I looked towards my bookshelf and was intensely drawn to The power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. As I looked through the pages of the book fractals still immersed my vision however I could still derive information from its pages. I felt so grateful as a looked at the book. It then came to me that life is all about sex, ecology and spirituality. I put down The Power of Now and looked at my bookshelf again this time at the book Sex, Ecology, Spirituality by Ken Wilber. I went to get the book however I knew that If I picked it up it would have been too much of an emotional overload for me and I would have had a release or break of some sort. I spent a few minutes after this and explored the various books on my shelf. Afterwards I sat for a bit and simply looked at the many fractals in my visual field. A voice came to me saying that, “Everything is divine.” “Existence is here for you. Now go experience it!” I then turned on my phone and listened to the sounds of the Didgeridoo instrument and listened to ambient music. This added a level of intensity to the experience. When I looked at the sheets on my bed I was what I can only describe as tribal art, in action. The hallucinations looked like the cave paintings in France had become fully animated on the sheets of my bed. I was very introspective; my mind was racing with thoughts however I paid them no attention. My hands were still moving in this strange sign language fashion. As time passed I walked around my home and I thought to myself, “this is the quintessential psychedelic experience, most of those pieces of psychedelic art that I’ve seen were inspired by this very experience.” I now understood why LSD played such a large part during the 1960s. I began to look out of the window to my backyard. I watched the trees; grass and sky all begin to morph into several fractals. As I looked outside I saw a squirrel scurrying around in my backyard. As I looked at this squirrel it too began to morph into fractals. At this point I realized that I was not looking at a squirrel but at a reflection of myself and the infinity of existence. I felt a love that I cannot describe, for humans do not have the language for it. The feeling of Absolute Oneness and Absolute Infinity was so much that my mind could not take it anymore. I completely broke down and began to cry extremely emotionally. Tears flowed like waterfalls down my face and I couldn’t believe that this was real. That I was real, that life was a thing, that both you and I are absolutely ONE. After this the mind began to calm. My brother returned home a bit after this and asked me if I was OK. When I explained what I had just experienced he knew that I needed some time to process the experience. As the LSD experience continued to come down I spoke to a few friends that came over. While they are recreational users they were supportive of what I experienced even though they did not understand. Fractals were still present roughly nine hours after I took the substance however it felt good to be able to converse about the experience. I went to the bathroom after this, and looking at myself I realized that my body and that the bodies of all living things are organic architecture. The effects continued to dissipate. I had a mild headache however it was nothing intense. The rest of the day was spent in a state of happiness. I spoke to myself and danced around my room like a crazy person. The effects of the LSD finally wore off after over twelve hours in total. Even after the LSD effects dissipated, my physical body felt different and still feels different. My mind feels different as well. I am already in good physical shape however, I feel much lighter and more agile than I ever have. These are the main things that LSD taught me. Everything is Absolutely Infinite. I need to lighten up as a person and stop being so serious about self-actualization and enlightenment. In closing I would like to say that this experience helped me to work through some very personal stuff and I am grateful to have had this experience. I am a forever changed person. This video gives a good representation of what my glossolalia was like. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwANedEkqaY While I can't convey what I experienced when I say absolute infinity this may help. Play and mute this video of fractals while listening to the song below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7-iyyR-iSg In another tab play this song and skip to about 2:15, listen to it at 0.75 speed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z685qqdv3zk This is the best recreation that I can provide of the most intense and strange part of the experience.

@Nexeternity Thank you for reading through my long posts and being supportive of my journey.

@deadforever Time doesn't exist.

@Richard Alpert That's a good question. If you have ever read the book 'Conversations with God' by Neale Walsch? If so, that is what I felt happened. My own intelligence even if it was subconscious could not create the responses which came forth during this experience. All in all it was very strange. Perhaps it was a combination of both.

@Space Exactly! I have read the first book in the series and after the experience I thought to myself the very same thing. That presence is always with us. However it usually takes a deep meditative or psychedelic experience to open the gateway for a direct contact with the unity of existence.

@sweater There is no you to be enlightened. When it occurs you'll know, there wont be any doubt. I'm sorry that you had a negative experience with cannabis. Being that cannabis is a mild psychedelic it definitely has the potential to mess with your mind. If it helps at all i always do psychedelics from a nondual perspective and combine it with meditation. I have a trip report from my experience with cannabis, I hope that it may be able to help you.

@sweater Can you please elaborate on this? I'd like to know which part of my trip report caused you to come to this conclusion.

@Nahm Thanks for reading it. It will be a while before i'm finished with the book. Currently around 300 pages into writing it so far, still much more to go. I feel like it's an integral part of my life purpose to spread information to people.

@Leo Gura Thanks Leo. I would not have come this far in my journey of consciousness growth without your videos.

@Elephant I have done other psychedelics. I have tripped from 1 gram of cannabis. I have also done 5 dried grams of mushrooms as well.

@Richard Alpert Thanks for taking the time to read it all. Each tab had roughly 100 micrograms on it. So this profound experience was the result of a 400 microgram ingestion.

@gleb Man this is beautiful. It makes me happy knowing that you experienced this glimpse of the infinite non-dual nature of reality. For the first time you saw what you truly are and what all of existence is as well. It is indeed a sobering and visceral experience. You gained so many existential insights in just an hour, that's really amazing.

Over the past two months I have done serious thinking and meditating on my life purpose. Within this time I have also noticed some very deep changes in my meditation practice and its overarching effects in my life. I feel that right now I am at a critical tipping point in my life and it is crucial that I follow my intuition fully. With this being said I feel that I am in need of some much required guidance. As my journey continues I am now beginning to realize the depth of the path that I have chosen and it is only a matter of time until I can no longer live the life that I am currently living. For the past three years I have done much work on myself and have deeply perused meditation, consciousness and enlightenment. I now have come to a point where things must change in my external life. I have learned a massive amount of information on my own time in the past three years. My insatiable appetite for learning has helped to radically and profoundly change my way of thinking, how I see the world and how I live my life. The experiences and lessons that I have learned through the countless hours of meditation and contemplation, unitive experiences and psychedelic experiences have shown me so much about the true nature of reality. My mind has expanded to such a degree in its perception and thinking that I know there is absolutely no going back. And thus this has led me to a sort of conundrum. I do not know how to properly balance the divine with the mundane. Over the past two months my meditation practice has caused changes in my nervous system and I have experienced several strange phenomena in my body that I can only describe as kundalini symptoms. These symptom include but are not limited to a tingling sensation throughout my body at random times in the day, feeling a powerful surge rise up my spine and explode in my head whenever I meditate for roughly an hour. I have experienced the bilateral symmetrical fractal energetic yoga positions that martin ball talks about several times and their frequency is increasing. The most apparent of these symptoms are similar to convulsions. If I go deep enough into meditation and contemplation parts of my body or even my whole body will begin to uncontrollably spasm. While this does not cause pain it is still a jarring experience. All in all my dedication to this consciousness work has created variables in my life that are making it increasingly difficult for me to continue to live a seemingly “normal” life. I have brought books on the subject of kundalini and energy to better my understanding of the subject. I feel that it is only a matter of time until something is going to have to radically change. Due to the nature of these symptoms and the depth of which I have experienced the unity of existence thus far in my journey part of the ego has become heavily resistant to the path. I feel that if I continue to do my dedicated meditation, contemplation, psychedelics, fasting, and other practices that I am using to facilitate higher understanding of consciousness, awakening and existence that I may destroy my life. I feel that I will go so far out into the left field with meditation and consciousness work that I will be entirely unable to integrate into society. I do not wish for this to happen and so since these kundalini symptoms have arisen I have largely toned down my practice, however I know that if I want to continue make progress on this path that I cannot achieve that at a low level of practice. Several of the problems that the human species is facing are readily apparent to me and with this awareness it is difficult for me to witness the overwhelming majority of people I encounter have such a degree of unawareness of these things. The interactions I have at work, school and in public are all inauthentic now as I must censor myself, so to speak, If I am to avoid being marginalized by society. I have been keeping up with Leo's blog posts and his critiques of the education system truly resonate with me and I completely agree with him. In my life I have found that autodidactism has been far more effective in my life than the current education system has ever been for me, both in high school and college. I feel that there is an opportunity cost for me being in school in that it takes away from the time in which I could be educating myself via autodidactism. I have learned so many profound and life changing things as a result of the hundreds of hours of reading books, studies, watching videos and documentaries on various topics such as meditation, spirituality, psychedelics, integral theory, self-development, veganism, sustainability, ecology, futurism, health, fitness, post scarcity economics, space exploration, biology, paleontology and more. I never heard very much highly in depth discussion at all of any of the aforementioned subjects in school and when one was mentioned it was only briefly outlined. It is a system which neglects so many of the variables in human learning and it is stuck in the industrial era. In school teachers can’t teach what they want as they must adhere to a strict curriculum and student’s natural curiosity and creativity is all too often crushed by years of conformity. In one of Leo's blog posts he wrote QUOTE "This might be rosy retrospection on my part, but if I could live my life over again, I would quit school, never go to college, and invest all that time into self-education. The more I learn, the more I learn how poorly learning is done by our social schooling system. It's really just terrible. It emphasizes all the wrong subjects and mechanizes what should otherwise be a highly conscious activity." END QUOTE In a more recent blog post of his I read QUOTE "Our school systems are all nonsynergetic. We take the whole child and fractionate the scope of his or her comprehending coordination by putting the children in elementary schools — to become preoccupied with elements or isolated facts only. Thereafter we force them to choose some specialization, forcing them to forget the whole. --required a wide variety of brain slaves with which to logistically and ballistically overwhelm those who opposed their expansion of physical conquest." END QUOTE I am very close to the point that I can no longer partake in the education system. I have completed two years of college so far and the mentality that I am surrounded by in academia is so restrictive that it is causing sadness within me. Each time I enter my classes I can feel my soul being crushed. Don’t get me wrong, education is extremely important, which is why I heavily emphasize autodidactism. I learn as much as I can in my free time, however the schooling system is just so broken and I simply want to be free from it and live my life. To be honest I don’t truly want to be in college, however I enrolled and stay because of family pressure. I get good grades but I truly don’t think it’s worth it. I would rather be happy in life than have a high GPA. I learn much more effectively when I study about the subjects I am passionate about when I take my own time to learn them. Nearly all of my time outside of school and work is spent reading and meditating. Right now I am in a time of turning and transformation. I could use some guidance regarding what I have mentioned as I know that there are many people here with far more experience with these things than I am. My only outlet for much of the knowledge that I have amassed over the course of the past three years is the book I am currently writing. I feel that having a creative outlet is something that is critically important for me to have in my life and for people to have in general. Disseminating the information that I have absorbed on this journey has helped me in in the past five months to resolve and work through many of the blockages that I have been experiencing. It would be greatly appreciated if anyone could provide advice and insight to help me during this time in my experience.

@ajasatya From what I have read these Waldorf education centers are a much more integral way of schooling than what we currently have. I really do hope that this takes off and that our current archaic education system is finally phased out. The children of the future deserve better.

@Azrael Thank you. How long did this phase last for you on your journey?

@gleb Thank you for sharing this. This is a very interesting trip report to say the least. You did good in conveying in detail what happened. It’s also helpful that you separated this post into three parts. I noticed that there were some things in common between our experiences with psychedelics. Although I have never done LSD I have had some similar experiences with psilocybin mushrooms. For example I too felt blown away by the overall profound strangeness of the human body. When I looked at my hands after the trip I had almost the exact same response that you did! Regarding resistances and questions, in my experience I’ve learned that it’s not always wise to ask questions during a trip. Psychedelics are like teachers and we are the students. Asking questions and intellectualizing the process is like speaking out while the teacher is lecturing. It’s not going to go well for the student. During my mushroom trip I had to learn that the hard way. This is especially important on higher doses. If you read my trip report with psilocybin you’ll see just how insane a high dose of a psychedelic can be. After a psychedelic trip or unitive experience a lot of repressed stuff comes up afterward and we have to clean it up whether we want to or not. In short purging sucks but it’s necessary to go through. From your post it sounds like you went through “the dark night of the soul”. I’ve also had my experience with that crazy process and sometimes I feel like I’m still going through it. However my depressive phase occurred long before I began using entheogens. The feelings of total confusion, isolation, sadness for the world and wishing to return to “blissful” ignorance are feelings that I have known all too well. I’m glad that you were able to process all of that and continue on your path of self-discovery. Lastly meditation is one of the most important daily practices that you can have in your life. It has completely changed my state of mind and I would not be who I am today if not for meditation. Exactly! Good luck to you on your journey.

@Wyatt I actually thought about this in a previous post. I applied it to a global scale. Here is what I think it would be like. Let me know what you think. Enlightenment In this world the overwhelming majority of people are enlightened. Culture and human behavior has changed drastically because of this. There is no human suffering in the world for the large part. People are not identified with the mind created ego. This is a world where humans view reality exactly as it is. There is no religion in this world because the population knows what God is and that all of existence is One. They do not carry dogmatic beliefs as they see how this can limit functionality in life. Society does not perpetuate the mind created sense of self. The population knows what true happiness is. People here are functionally effective in order to experience life to the fullest. They have no attachment or emotional investment to anything in life. People here are not concerned with an identity or attached to external circumstance thus they can more effectively and efficiently act in life without mental resistance and emotional chaos. All of their actions are done with zero mental resistance. They behave in a free flowing, spontaneous, healthy, loving and compassionate way. They live life through feeling and flowing with events not forcing and overthinking. They see existence is simply a menagerie of forms and is constantly changing like water. Integral Understanding society and moral compass In this world the overwhelming majority of people look at life from an integral perspective. People are able to look at situations from multiple perspectives. There is world peace. War no longer happens. There are no prisons only rehabilitation centers. Egoic competition is no longer viewed as positive and has largely disappeared. Cooperation has taken its place in the world on a global scale. This world has no enforced countries or boarders only different regions to make navigation and travel easier, humanity is one unit. People in this world are not materialistic and would be considered minimalists, but have a very high standard of living, much higher than what the richest person has today. People are intelligent enough and kind enough to only take what they need. There is a huge emphasis on happiness, exploration, fun and unity. People are nonjudgmental. People are compassionate and have a comprehensive understanding of how emotions work. Psychedelics are legal and are safely used as tools to explore the mind by people worldwide. Dreaming is studied to learn more about the subconscious mind. Meditation is commonplace in order to better calm and understand the mind. People in this world have a deep and understanding of human psychology that is far more advanced than what we have today. Veganism In this world the overwhelming majority of people are vegan. Because of this ecosystems have recovered. Forests are no longer cleared away for farmland. Ocean biodiversity has recovered as people no longer go fishing for food or sport. People no longer hunt for food or sport. The only people using animal products are hunter gatherer tribes. And even they have access to modern technologies at any time if they want to. Many diseases such as cancer heart disease and diabetes are extremely rare because people no longer eat animal products. Even if someone does get the mentioned diseases the level of medical knowledge and medical technologies is so high that they can be easily taken care of. Animals are no longer killed in the tens of billions because people no longer consume animal products. Additionally farm animals are no longer bred in the tens of billions because animal farming no longer exists. Many of the dog and cat breeds present today no longer exist because people no longer selectively breed animals for their own desires because many of the drawbacks of this are known. Animals are not used for entertainment. Breeding back programs have started in order to revive species that have gone extinct due to human activates. We no longer have zoos or aquariums, people do not have “pets” either, they have animal friends. Ecotourism has completely replaced zoos and aquariums in how people learn about biodiversity and ecology. Peaceful interactions between humans and many other species are commonplace. Education In this world every person has access to an education. School is free and entirely optional. All education is directly related to real world practicality. Knowledge is freely shared amongst all peoples as education is the best method of solving and preventing problems for the world. All people have access to an education that will teach them things that they want to learn and things that will help them in their lives. There are many more educational centers than in the 21st century and they are nothing like schools today. All subjects taught in school are what one chooses to learn. Schools are no longer places of conformity. Schools no longer force memorization and regurgitation. Education centers in this world actually teach important relevant and real world applicable information to everyone and anyone who is willing to learn. For example if someone wants to learn about physics they simply sign up and attend class, the same goes for all other subject areas. There is no standardized testing, or monotonous notetaking while sitting at a desk. All learning is interactive. Classes are conducted by active discussion and through experiencing the actual subject material in real world situations. One learns what they want in a way that will benefit their mental development instead of stunt it. This way of learning opens up many possibilities for people as far as what they can learn, the experiences they have and the people they meet because of it. There are research bases worldwide in all ecosystems of the earth. Even in areas such as underwater in space and underground. Areas such as geology, paleontology and astronomy are greatly explored. People in this world actively explore the bottom of the ocean, the interior of our planet and have discovered millions of species of extinct prehistoric organisms and have an accurate understanding of the history of our planet. This has been achieved largely through the usage of artificially intelligent robots. Health Awareness In this world the overwhelming majority of people have awareness of their health and listen to their bodies. Everyone eats the healthiest that they can and exercise on a regular basis. Medical technologies have advanced much more than today. More people play sports than ever before yet the societal focus on sports is smaller than today because people focus on things that are more important to global technological and cultural progress. Calisthenics parks are more commonplace. There is a huge amount of thought and responsibility taken into consideration when bringing a new human into the world. People do not have psychological problems because they are raised by parents who have not accumulated psychological traumas; babies are not born with birth defects or diseases because there is an extremely high level of responsibility, knowledge and health in this world. Technological Progress In this world the technological singularity has already occurred and we have supercomputers that are more intelligent than humans. Nearly all jobs that can be automated are automated. Thus humans are no longer required to work in most areas. Technology in every area has greatly advanced. Robots are commonplace and are helpers in society that make life easier for the vast majority of people. Several centrifugal Space stations are in orbit at various places around the earth. Humans have sent both robots and astronauts to all of the planets in the solar system. People can enjoy recreational trips to low earth orbit. Many of the planets and moons of the solar system have been visited and are at various levels of colonization. Bases and outposts on the surface and in orbit of planets have been created throughout the solar system. Post Scarcity Problems such as resource depletion, starvation and poverty have all been eliminated. Everyone has access to basic needs such as food, water and shelter. There are no homeless people. Money has become obsolete and no longer dictates people’s lives. People are not limited to the area where they were born due to monetary constraints. People are free to travel as they please. Because people do not live in a mindset of scarcity and are aware of their environment and the way that resources are used and allocated, it facilitates abundance for all people. Sexual Maturity In this world people are sexually mature. Nudity is not seen as obscene. Women are no longer associated with sex. Sex is used for procreation and fun and is never used for exploitation. Gender roles are no longer existent. In this world there are no rapes, body image problems or pornography. People are not disturbed by nudity or obsessed with any particular body parts. People are allowed to be freely nude wherever they please. The human body is seen for what it is, a biological machine. Because education is widespread there are no sexual insecurities or sexual immaturity. All of society is sexually open and mature. People are not socially labeled as gay, straight, bisexual, monogamous, polygamous, or polyamorous people. There is only love and different ways of expressing it. Sustainability The overwhelming majority of people in this world have environmental awareness and know how their actions affect the biosphere. All technologies used are sustainable. The world runs exclusively on renewable sources of energy to meet its needs. All goods are recycled and reused. Society exists in a symbiotic relationship with earth’s ecosystems. All vehicles run on renewable sources of energy such as electric or hydrogen. The vast majority of cars and other land vehicles are self-driving and electric. Cities and residential areas are powered by wind, solar, tidal, hydroelectric and geothermal energies. Trash does not exist. All unwanted materials are either recycled into other products or are composted and used in agriculture or other areas. There are no landfills. This is a zero waste civilization. Overpopulation is no longer an issue and the human population has dropped and stabilized to around two billion people. Animal populations are healthy and there are no endangered species caused by human actions. Resource based economy Money no longer exists in this world. People no longer have to go to work in order to make money. In this world people spend their lives doing things that they like because they want to do it. Because money is no longer a limiting factor, the moral compass of humanity has grown and many areas of society have grown exponentially in technological development and overall efficiency and effectiveness. Self Governance There are no centralized governments in this world people are intelligent enough to govern themselves. Additionally much of the calculations and logistics are done by computer power anyway. Society works as a unit to accomplish its goals. If an area of society needs to be improved all of society comes together to help to solve the issue. Each person contributes varying amounts to the solution of the situation. People do not have a mentality of separation from world affairs. If an earthquake occurs in one region of the world, people from all over the planet would gladly come and help the situation. It’s not perfect This is not a utopia in the traditional sense that every external circumstance is perfect all the time and everything always goes the way we want them to. People in this world are enlightened and thus perceive all of existence as perfect because they have no mental resistance to reality. However there is still pain in this world but there is no suffering. Suffering is mind created and the result of resistance to external circumstances while pain is simply intense signals crated by ones nervous system and sent to the brain. Natural Disasters still occur however advanced weather systems alert people well in advance of when they are coming and there are no obstacles to getting them to safety. Accidents still happen, bad weather still happens and crazy random events still happen. People still die every day however it is far less due to world peace, higher average intelligence and better overall average health of the population. This is simply my idealistic vision for a world in which humans live at their full potential and are always reaching upward.

My journey of self-development really began when I was 17 years old. I have always been an intellectually rigorous person and have always been interested in various areas of science and philosophy. My whole life I have always had an appetite for profundity. As a child I would have vivid dreams of space and the world at large which I couldn’t understand at the time. Growing up I have always read books and reading is an integral part of my life. With this being said all my life I have been told by many people, from friends and family, to complete strangers that I have a gift and that I should not waste my talents for speaking, sharing information and processing complex and nuanced subjects. For the most part I have always done good in school however as I began to find out how flawed the various schooling systems are I became increasingly disinterested in school. In March of 2014 the way I looked at life began to radically change. It was at this time in my life that I completely cut out junk food from my diet and later went vegan. I began to meditate every day. I became a minimalist. I read more books than I ever had and due to these changes I began to change as a person and the way how I look at the world has radically changed as well. Fast forward to the present day; I am now 20 years old. I have learned much since I was 17. I am now a raw vegan and I do intermittent fasting every day. I practice either do nothing meditation or strong determination sitting meditation for 30 minutes to an hour each day. I have had several moments of clarity as a result of my meditation practice. I have had very deep and profound unitive experiences as well. I have had psychedelic experiences with marijuana and psilocybin mushrooms. I am also beginning to think in systems and I’m coming to a better understanding of spiral dynamics and multiple intelligences. Most recently now in my meditation practice I have found that when I meditate for more than a half an hour at a time my head will begin to subtly hurt and a tingling sensation will start in my spine and spread to the rest of my body. I know that this is a result of my meditation practice and that my physiology is going through changes via the pineal gland and other parts of my nervous system. I say these things not to toot my horn and seem better than anyone else because I am not. I am simply giving background as I need some guidance in my life right now. With all of this being said I feel that I have become imbalanced in my life. I have invested so much of my time and effort into self-inquiry, meditation, and contemplation that I have neglected other areas of my life. I have long since come to a point on my journey where I do not personally know any people who are even remotely on this journey of inner work. And while I expected this to occur it is still undesirable to experience. Needless to say I feel that this has negatively affected my social intelligence and I would be very appreciative if anyone could offer some advice in this area. I myself am an introvert and thus I enjoy alone time more than social interaction however I see that right now in my life I am very imbalanced in that I don’t socialize outside of work. It has become increasingly difficult for me to relate to people as I can see right through the constructions of their egos (including my own) I can see the web of beliefs that the majority believe to be so concrete and true. I feel that I have blockages in my mind that need to be addressed. Ever since I took psilocybin mushrooms a few weeks ago I have realized that I radically need to change my life. I know that I am not living my life in alignment with my highest values and I don’t really know how to structure my life in a way that I can live at my highest values. But I am more than willing to put in the learning and work necessary to get there. I am a full time college student and I work part time. Most people would see this as a desirable situation to be in and while I realize the external positivity of my situation, internally I strongly dislike this lifestyle. I feel that I may be having a quarter life crisis right now. My family, coworkers and classmates all are completely immersed in materialism and their immediate circumstance. I am polarized in that I want the opposite of what most of the people in my life want. Being a minimalist I want a very simple lifestyle in which I can devote myself to meditation, acquiring knowledge, self-development and disseminating what I know to other people. Essentially I want to construct my life in a way in which I can have a lifestyle similar to that of Leo Gura or Ken Wilber. Although I love my family very much I am becoming increasingly distanced from them and it is causing tension in my household. Not necessarily conflict but tensions between myself, my brother and my father. Before I got serious about meditation and self-development I was a very talkative person and my demeanor was very different to what it is today. It bothers them that I have become such a quiet person and that I spend so much time meditating and reading. I would rather spend time doing these things as I can see the long term benefits and I can also see the ways in which the people in my life cause many problems for themselves(including me). Because of my increasing clarity and knowing that I can’t directly help them as I will be met with resistance( as I have many times in the past) It leads me to simply want to focus on my own development in life. The more I continue down this path of self-discovery the more resistance I feel from society in general. I feel as if everyone who is entirely associated with the ego does not want others to actualize themselves. In society we must conform to a specific set of rules, beliefs and behaviors or else we are marginalized or ostracized. This is has become readily apparent to me. Since I have gotten serious about this endeavor I can no longer talk to anyone I know without having to seriously censor myself and hold myself back from being my true honest self. This hurts a bit because my entire life up to 2014 I have been the type of person who could constantly give people information on various subjects. In fact during grade school I had the nickname “google”, because I was constantly spouting information. With this being said I feel like every day I must suppress an integral part of my personality in order to fit into society without being met with negativity. I understand that the personality is a construct of the ego and belief system. However I do know that expression is also a necessary part of the experience of any living organism and that prolonged repression of expression leads to neuroses and psychological damage. To address this, right now I am in the process of writing a book regarding human psychology and how it dictates our relationship with the biosphere and I have made good progress thus far on it. And I do feel that this is a good step in the right direction. It just feels right when I am writing, I don't necessarily know how to explain it but it feels like that's what I need to be doing. So to sum this up I could use some guidance and advice in my life regarding these things. I am looking for a way out of my current lifestyle and I am looking for a way how I can structure my life to be in alignment with my highest values. Additionally I am looking for a way that I can either more effectively deal with the loneliness of the path I am on and or find a way to meet like minded people in my life. Any advice, information or resources one could provide would be greatly appreciated. I am grateful to everyone on this forum as it provides a place where like minded individuals can come and express things such as this.

@Dizzy Thanks for reading and responding to my post. It's people like you that make this forum such a great place to communicate these subjects. Right now my college major is in environmental science and while I am highly interested in this subject and know several career fields which my major is applicable to, I feel that going down this path will ultimately fail to fulfill me in life. Reason being is that academia typically focuses on hyper-specialization of occupations and subjects, this is almost opposite of what I am doing in my own personal learning. I know that i'm young and thus intrinsically inexperienced however I strongly feel that autodidactism will carry me much farther in life than continuing down the path of college academia. I learn much more about the intricacies and complexities of existence in my studies on my own time than I do while listening to my professors lecture. In fact the book that I am writing right now has already surpassed the standard length of a PhD dissertation and I'm not even a quarter of the way finished with it. I really need to meditate on this right here. Its really powerful. I'm at a confusing point in my life right now but you are right. I do need to trust the process. I guess that's just proof that I the ego is still trying to control every aspect of it's experience. The Rumi quote that you referenced has always resonated positively with me. I have come across it at several times in my life and it was usually during a time of confusion and change. Thanks again for taking the time to read what I have to say I really appreciate your help.

This is my recount of my first experience with psilocybin mushrooms. I took psilocybin mushrooms for the first time in late June 2017. I woke up a bit after 4:30 am in the morning. I made sure to go to the bathroom and get a bottle of water before the trip as I did not want anything to interrupt it. I retrieved my psilocybin mushrooms and weighed exactly 5 grams of dried Psilocybe Cubensis mushrooms. Before I ingested the fungus I took about five minutes to sit in silent meditation. My room was also in complete silent darkness as psilocybin preforms best in this environment. During these five minutes I listened to some calm music and mentally prepared myself to completely let go of everything. I got into a mindset in which I was ready to die; right there and right then. I was ready to be completely obliterated. After this meditation of complete surrender I turned off all technology around me. I paused out of respect for the fungus, I then looked at the mushrooms and said “I will go wherever you take me, with grace”, and then I ate the mushrooms. They actually tasted quite good. After eating the mushrooms I then got into lotus position and meditated at the edge of my bed. This was one of the stillest meditations I had ever had. It was almost as if my body knew the profundity of what was to come. After about 20 minutes of silent meditation in darkness I felt the first effects of the psilocybin. My body began to feel heavy and I felt a tingling all over my body especially in my spine and in my head. I then leaned my back against the wall as I meditated. I began to feel nauseous as well; I was prepared for this as I had a vomit bucket next to me. As the effects intensified I then had to lie down flat on my back. The effects became more intense. As I laid down I immediately got in a bilateral symmetrical position. Somehow I knew that this was going to be very important. I remembered listening to interviews with Martin Ball and the importance of bilateral symmetry during psychedelic experiences. Then the weirdest and most profound experience of my life began. As I laid in the silent darkness of my room on my back with my eyes closed it was as if my ego structure was sucked right out of my mind in an instant. Through no volition of my own my body began to contort into various bilateral symmetrical poses very similar to the ones that martin ball discussed. It was an extremely strange yet beautiful experience. I had no control over these movements and it felt like the psilocybin had possessed my body. My nerves were tingling the entire time this happened. I could feel my nervous system trying to balance itself as the psilocybin entered. As my body continued to contort into these various poses they became more wild and intense, it felt as if the psilocybin was testing the waters. It was entering my body and trying to see how it could take control of my nervous system and guide me. It felt to me that it was trying to get accustomed used to being in a human body. My perception of time dissolved as well. When I opened my eyes I saw intense visuals in a grid like pattern overlaid on my vision. At this point I could see the light from the sunrise through the blinds in my room. As I peered out it was so bright. Brighter than anything I had ever seen yet so beautiful. The bodily contortions slowed and I heard an intuitive voice say something along the lines of “ok, that was your introduction, now are you ready for what I have to show you?” There was no ego present however I knew that this was about to get very intense. At this point I don’t really know how to describe what happened as there was no ego and no sense of time. But I will do my best to recount. My consciousness / awareness was then catapulted outside of space and time in a void of complete nothingness. I then heard the intuitive voice say something along the lines of, “I need you to understand the profundity of the things that I am showing you.” “People rarely get to experience things like this.” In the nothingness a light formed and I was that light and the witness of the light at the same time. The ego then tried to ask questions to try and understand, label and interpret what was occurring. The psilocybin did not like this at all. Immediately as the questions of the ego arose the experience began to turn negative. In the void I saw red and black vivid colors emerge. I saw hundreds of psychedelic demons come into existence and general chaos ensue. Keep in mind that I was the colors and demons and chaos. The ego of Thomas roger became concerned at this and tried again to ask questions and understand. But it was as if the psilocybin said “NO!” “You will wait until I am finished showing you what you need to see before you begin to intellectualize any of this!” “Simply sit back, experience and observe this.” After the psilocybin said this, the ego of Thomas-Roger was obliterated in a sea of destruction and chaos. I felt the pain and agony of being completely ripped apart in every way possible. The ego was screaming at the top of its lungs. The ego screamed out into the void and was abruptly silenced. The ego was dissolved and transmuted into the chaos that had annihilated it and the immense pain was turned into infinite bliss that I had never felt before. Now that the ego was not going to be a factor anymore in this experience I was now the light in the void. However even after this there was still a witness of awareness. At this moment I felt as if I was everything in existence. Then the psilocybin said “ok, great, now we can continue.” As the experience went on my awareness/ consciousness began to traverse the multiverse with the psilocybin as my guide. I was shown the intricacies of our illusory concepts of space and time. I was shown that all is absolutely ONE. Next even more strange occurrences ensued. I was shown a massive psychedelic “city” made of pure light that existed outside of the multiverse, space and time. This “city” of light was large enough to make Earth look tiny in comparison. The psilocybin guided my awareness through this place. I saw technologies made of what I can only describe as light. I saw technologies so inconceivably advanced that they would make the greatest human technological marvels look like less than stone age tools. All throughout this “city” were beings of pure light. Some of them were humanoid in shape some of them were so alien in appearance that I can’t even begin to describe them. These beings could bring things into existence simply by thinking of it. They could travel anywhere in the multiverse by teleporting. They created worlds for fun. The psilocybin told me that I (awareness/consciousness) could do this as well. I saw many other things here that I can’t even begin to describe with language. All I can say is that this was a beautiful place of love and light. The most memorable thing that I saw in this place was a vast library of all of the knowledge in the multiverse. It was like a cathedral and a library made of pure light. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I lack the vocabulary to describe just how beautiful it was. After seeing this beautiful place of love and light at one point I was shown a nexus of information in which streams of information were pouring out at an extremely fast speed in all directions. This information consisted of every way that we humans use symbols to communicate information. This included but was not limited to all forms of language and all forms of mathematics. I felt at this time that I knew all languages, all modes of communication and all relays of information. Information was everywhere. From the sub atomic to the molecular all the way up to the multiverse. I saw information in DNA helixes, plants, animals, myself and everything else. I (consciousness/awareness) literally knew everything. At this point I experienced the most intense and breathtaking part of the experience. I felt like I experienced everything that had ever happened in all of existence simultaneously in less than a second. It was so powerful that the witnessing awareness/ consciousness was obliterated. The witness was the last vestige of anything resembling duality at all. Now there was only the happenings of existence and I (pure nothingness) was all of those happenings. It was as if I had created existence and decided to experience existence in every way possible. From bacteria to entire civilizations spanning light years, every life, every breath, every experience was one. And I was that one. It’s very hard to describe with the limits of human language, but I will continue. I felt like this experience lasted hundreds of millions of years. It was so vast and visceral. I lived as thousands of people, plants, fungi, bacteria and animals. I saw entire alien civilizations rise from the stone age to type three civilizations and fall. I lived as various men, women and children. In all of these experiences there were vast, various things constantly changed about them but one thing remained the same. The consciousness that was experiencing life remained. I don’t really know how to describe that. I experienced childbirth from both the perspective of the mother organism giving birth and from the perspective of the child organism being born. I experienced sex from both the male and female perspective simultaneously. I felt both masculine and feminine energies as ONE. I felt how integral sexuality was to existence and just how profoundly divine sexuality is. Sexuality is not simply a bond between a male and a female. Sexuality is a vector in which novelty can be introduced into the universe and existence as a whole. All of the millions of experiences and perspectives were happening so fast and it was impossible to keep up with the experience. It was moving so fast that it was overwhelming it was a sea of chaos and yet I was this sea of chaos. After all of this profound stimulation everything returned to the void. This void felt like infinity. I was in this experience for eons. It was unborn and undying. I was this void of absolute nothingness from which everything stemmed and I was that void. After experiencing eternity in the void of absolute nothingness standard reality began to form. Thus commenced the comedown phase of the experience. The witnessing consciousness reformed. I came back into my body. My body felt extremely heavy and difficult to control. My mind went from states of being conscious to unconscious. Slowly my perception of reality shifted from that of cosmic consciousness to that of human consciousness; however my perception was still nondual. I felt all of the information that I had witnessed being embedded into my nervous system. My whole body was vibrating as I began to come back. My head was ringing/buzzing for the entire rest of the day. This headache did not go away until the next day. As I slowly came back to physical reality all of my bodily senses were very sensitive. I felt everything so vividly. It was very intense to even feel my body lying on the bed. Feeling the air being pulled into and pushed out of my body was also very intense in a way that I can’t really describe. I was so immersed in tactile sensations that I began to feel the bed very gently. It felt like this was my first time touching something. As I tried to get up I fell several times over a dozen before I was even able to get to my knees. As I looked around my room I felt completely in shock. The best way I can describe how I felt at this time is I felt l how the character David did at the end of the movie, 2001: A Space Odyssey, after he had come out of the stargate. My room looked like an alien environment to me. I felt like I was seeing it for the very first time. I had not felt like this since I was a baby. As I looked around I thought it was VERY strange that anything was happening at all. I thought that it was very strange that we humans could not simply do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. I then looked at my hands and I was blown away. I saw the complexity and strangeness of the biological machine that I was looking at. It was very amazing. I struggled to get to my feet. After falling about 6 more times I finally managed to barely stand up. I was amazed at how my body was working. I was amazed that I even had a body. I looked at my bookshelf and I was almost in reverence for it. I nearly cried when I looked at it. Reason being, after seeing that library of light during my experience, I have a newfound respect for information. I had to use the bathroom afterwards so I slowly walked to the bathroom. Walking wasn’t easy after the trip. When I entered the bathroom and saw my reflection in the mirror the first thing I thought was WHAT THE FUCK?! It was so strange to see a body looking at me. It was so strange to see a body at all. Again it was like I had never seen a human body before. On my body I saw visuals like patterns and glyphs moving all over. However the visuals were the least of my concern. They were cool and interesting to observe but I was more mesmerized by the fact that I had a body at all. My body looked like an alien organism to me. After using the bathroom I asked my trip sitter what happened to my body. He said that for the most part after the contorting poses I was passed out. He said that at one point that I began flailing, grabbing things and swinging them around and making incoherent noises. It surprised me that I was not screaming at the top of my lungs at one point during the experience. This is because when the ego was being obliterated I could have sworn that I was screaming at the top of my lungs in complete agony. After learning from my trip sitter that most of my trip consisted of my body simply lying there I was ok with that. I walked around my home feeling like this was my first time seeing it. I decided to walk outside in the backyard and when I did it was a bit overwhelming. I marveled at all of the lifeforms outside. I simply sat in the grass in awe of the planet I had just returned to. All in all the psilocybin experience lasted for nearly six hours. It was the strangest, deepest, most profound and most beautiful experience of my life thus far. This experience forever changed the way I look at reality and it has supercharged my existing meditation practice. Psychedelics are really an amazing tool for learning, consciousness exploration and enlightenment work. They can lead to many beautiful things if the student is ready for the lesson. Here is a video explaining the positions that my body was contorting into. Skip to about 5:25 in. The grid visuals I experienced during the come up portion were very similar to this. https://nexusoflife.deviantart.com/art/Thermodynamic-Horizon-76214599 This is what the "city" of light was similar to. https://nexusoflife.deviantart.com/art/ET-Contact-676996115 This is what the visuals overlaid on my body looked similar to. https://nexusoflife.deviantart.com/art/Vitis-Animae-264377166

@Dizzy Since the experience I have had many people tell me that I visited the Akashic Records. As I continued to learn about psychedelic experiences and other things of that nature I found that the description of the Akashic Records almost perfectly matched what the mushrooms showed me during the experience. I am now very interested in this infinite repository of information and I am still learning from and thinking about the experience every day. This is similar to what I saw, but it was made of pure light and was orders of magnitude more beautiful than what can be put into an image. http://imgur.com/5bbQJR2

@Real Eyes Well to answer your question in all honesty I did not have any expectations going into the experience. However I prepared myself as much as I could before the trip and I was ready to experience heaven and bliss or hell and obliteration and I experienced both. It was far beyond anything I could have ever imagined and it was a life changing experience. I read a lot of trip reports and listened to the lectures of Martin Ball and Kilindi Iyi before the trip and that definitely also helped me to ground myself and prepare for the experience. I have thought about it deeply every day since it occurred.

@Lynnel Since my trip I have had several people tell me that I went to the Akashic Records. The more I learn about the subject I am becoming increasingly certain that I did indeed visit this place beyond space and time. I really don't have words to describe just how humbling and beautiful it was.