nexusoflife

@Inliytened1 Yes, this is it. All of existence is Love. I am so thankful that my path led me here. Thank you for reading.

@mandyjw Thank you. You are a beautiful being as well, keep on that path of awakening! I love you.

@Zanoni That link was such a beautiful read. Just knowing that other people are also having this experience and opening up to true Universal Love makes me so happy. We really are in the early stages of a mass global awakening of the human species. Thank you for reading my experience. I love you.

@Anton Rogachevski Like others here have said it is extremely profound yet all of the aspects of ones life remain in place this includes ones psychology. Much shadow work and integration is to be done to fully express and embody this kind of experience. One thing I will say is that the main thing which changes is the way in which one interfaces with the physical realm. After all of my nondual and psychedelic experiences I have had less and less ego in all of the decisions I make in life and I feel that with this most recent experience it is no longer my will that runs the show. It is the desires of my soul for lack of better terms that my life now abides by. I only use the mind to interface with things in the present moment, there is no more neurotic planning or seeking for anything, no more negotiating with the world. Just the experience of being, and if a decision needs to be made depending on the options available and how congruent they are with the highest expression of my being, dictates the directions I will choose to go in. In short it is no longer my will be done. It is Thy will be done.

@Surfingthewave Thank you for taking the time to read it. I really appreciate it!

@erik8lrl I love you too!

@Leo Gura It's all Infinite Love, this is it! Thanks for all of the videos and insights Leo. You have helped me immensely on my journey of awakening.

I have been thinking about where different countries in Sub-Saharan Africa are at in their values development and was wondering at which stages they come in, as well as which countries in the region have the highest development. To my knowledge most countries in Sub-Saharan Africa are at stage purple/RED with several coming into stage BLUE. However I was wondering are there any countries that are at or coming into stage ORANGE? Perhaps South Africa, Nigeria and Botswana are at stage blue/ORANGE, but I could be wrong. Anyway I would like to have some feedback on this as I find how these countries can develop in the future very interesting.

I was thinking about the cultural differences and similarities between the western democracies and thought about a Spiral Dynamics comparison between Australia and The United States. They seem pretty similarly developed at a stage Orange level of values development, yet I feel that The United States has a stage Blue undertone that sets it a bit lower; as Australia does not seem to have this stage Blue influence, instead the country appears to be more immersed in stage Orange. I would like to know what anyone else thinks about this.

Hello. I need some help as I currently find myself in a confusing place. For my entire life I have been living within the realm of the mind. I have been completely unaware of my power as in infinite creator on this Earth. And now that I have come into understanding of this power in the past year and more so in the last two months I find myself at a point of transformation and transition. You see a few months ago I quit my job. This was one of the best decisions that I could have made for myself, mentally, physically and spiritually. It was an OK job by society’s standards but it heavily damaged my soul and for the three years I worked there my life was in a very dark place. I have enjoyed the past few months and they have been the best time of my life so far. I have grown immensely in a short time. However my monetary funds are beginning to lessen and this has created an anxiety in me. My true passion in life is the study of spirituality, ecology and human development and I am writing a book on the subject of Ecopsychology. However this is a huge endeavor and while I have made great progress on the book every cell in my body feels called to place all of my energy towards the completion and publication of my book. However when I look at my external reality I do indeed feel an air of anxiety when it comes to how I will do this. Every cell in my body is telling me to not go back to getting a traditional job. And yet over the last month there is one job offer that is continually appearing in my life and I have no desire to accept this job. I do wonder if this job offer continually appearing in my experience is a test of faith and or an external manifestation of my fear. Whenever I think of working this job I do not see light in my minds eye, only darkness and subsequent pain. I guess what I am trying to ask is, how do I know if something is truly for me or not for me if it keeps appearing in my life? I am very keen on making good decisions and am quite a decisive person so this level of confusion within me is unsettling. I am going to meditate on this as I have a feeling that my intuition is telling me to not regress back into old fear based ways of thinking and perceiving reality and thus that it would be in my best interest to follow the path I feel guided towards even though I cannot see the steps. I have never had this much faith before, this is new alien territory for me but I know that I cannot go back. Again the thing I am struggling with is the discerning whether the reoccurring job offer is a temptation, a test of faith to see if I will fall back to my old ways or if I will truly transcend my fears and go towards a new version of myself and access a new level of my life? All I know for certain right now is that I have to trust the process 100% even though I cannot see ahead and have a knowing that the universe has my best interests at hand and truly does want the best for my unfolding life in this realm.

Over the past five years I have been diving deeply and consistently into the nature of reality and myself. They're both the same thing. I have had several deep and very profound and indeed life changing nondual and psychedelic experiences at this point. I understand that everything in the totality of existence is all fundamentally and inexorably one. I have traveled to places within consciousness that are beyond the human imagination. I have had my sense of self and eradicated and reformed several times now. Looking into the viewport of infinity is indeed breathtaking beyond all comprehension. You really are absolutely infinite and so beautifully glorious beyond what our bodies and brains are physically evolved to comprehend right now. However there is something within me that is seemingly contently disinterested with phenomenological existence. I do not want to play this game anymore. I feel like no matter what I experience in this life, no matter where I go there will still always be a part of me that is just over the experience of existing as an individuation of consciousness at any level whether it be at a human level, bacterium level or godlike cybernetic alien level it’s all not the absolute truth, just more of this multiversal, multidimensional game of exploratory consciousness. After I live my life and die there is a very strong feeling at the “core” (there is no core) of my consciousness that I never want to reincarnate in any way. While that is an ego driven statement I feel that there is something within myself that this is coming from a place of much deeper much more comprehensive inner standing and understanding of phenomenological existence and it’s alternative merging COMPLETELY into God consciousness so fully that any hope or possibility of incarnation into the realm of form is entirely extinguished. No thought no mind, no form no play, simply infinite incomprehensible nothingness, the purest expression of God. Over the past year a feeling has arisen within myself that wants this life of this specific individuation of consciousness to be the last physical expression that this individuation of consciousness ever experiences. The feeling and sense of relief is what I long for. I long for the ending of all experience by this individuation. The thought of an I experiencing reality no longer is the all encompassing thing that it once was. Now the idea of an I experiencing reality seems so superficial and somewhat shallow in a sense. I enjoy life and its many phenomena but I can so clearly see ( at an increasing rate) the illusion of all of the realm of form. Expression, experience and phenomenological existence go together. And there is such a powerful longing within my energetic composition to just have relief from being, relief from form, relief from experience I feel like I have done this so many times. I feel that I have played this game an infinite number of times. Now there is a tiredness to it all. I am all,every subatomic particle, every atom, every cell, every organism in the multitude of multiverses every object in all of existence. I am the infinite Holon. I am immortal, timeless, and infinite in every way. Yet and still within this body, within this specific individuation of consciousness, within this trans-temporal energetic being I feel a strong urge to never want to return to this place. It matters not what form consciousness takes it all boils down to this. Same shit different form. You are God experiencing itself in every way that there is and isn't. After you have seen into infinity and lived in that place all of the forms become trivial they are no longer something to go after or to awe at when gazed upon. Its all infinite and there are never-ending forms but it all becomes ‘predictable’. You predict the outlandish and the mundane to the point where it becomes all just “meh” at a certain point of being blasted into infinity so many times. Viewing and being the infinite myriad of forms organisms, technologies, energies eventually it reaches a point of simply a pretty existential first person light show. The illusion is seen through and compared to truth the realm of forms and limitation becomes shallow in its substances. The transcendence of survival is a necessary place to come to in this work and an inevitable point. I have not transcended survival and am still subject to it’s whims but there are times ( and they are becoming increasingly more common) where I can get into states of consciousness where in those moments I would be 100% OK with dying. However I am only 22 years old and thus I would like to complete my bucket list before I leave this place and I have so much work to do on myself in this life; and so much more fun to have; and so many more things to explore. I do not hate life I enjoy it and all of it’s beautiful weirdness but it’s illusory nature no longer has the same charm and allure as it had before in my perception. The world of form is BS and while it is truth on a relative level it will never be the absolute truth due to the fact that life is navigating forms, whether they be physical or nonphysical. It is because of this why “I” (at a level beyond ego that is inexplicable to me currently) want out of this game at all levels permanently. You could incarnate into any multitude of alien species, Tryptamine entities, light beings, demigods, lichens, molds, insects, bacterium. While it is all you exploring and experiencing yourself once complete nondual awareness is had this experiencing looses it’s allure. It doesn't matter what form you take anymore. The destination and “point” of it all is the same. Simply put ULTIMATE UNION WITH GOD. This means a complete secession of all types of form and all types of experience, it is the embodiment and paradox of absolute nothingness. Not nonexistence, because God is infinite and thus nonexistence cannot exist; but nothingness in the sense of no longer being an individuation of consciousness bound to form and experience of any and all kind. It is this secession which is the omega point of this creation of this game. According to Buddhism the entirety of the realm of form is suffering in some way. This is Samsara. Nirvana is the release of this and the permanent secession of the individuated conscious experiencing of phenomenological existence. Absolute union with God. No more false boundaries, no more illusions. Just the simple truth. All incarnation is an infinitely intelligent yet amnesiac God exploring to know its infinite self. However there comes a point where for individuations this experiencing of fundamentally illusory forms is no longer necessary for understanding. There is a transcendent something beyond being, beyond phenomena. Phenomenological existence is not the only way that God can know itself. However it is the only way that we can know ourselves. As lifeforms we highly value life to the point of delusion. I have no way to back up what I am about to say here; but life and the totality of phenomenological existence in my experience feels like a preliminary training ground for something else. This place is illusion and with illusion comes pain and suffering in one way or another. At the end of the day all holons of existence especially organisms organisms “want” to be happy, and to know that they are God. I do wonder if there will be a point (Yes I know time does not truly exist) where all individuations of consciousness in the totality of phenomenological existence will realize and embody God consciousness and this section of the game will end. It’s just a thought I have sometimes. I know that God is infinite and thus I am infinite.

@zeroISinfinity Thanks. I have always wanted to take up some form of martial arts practice as it would absolutely be life changing and would help me to cultivate more balance and further help me to get to know myself and the dance of life; and maybe now is the time. I know essentially nothing about Reiki other than that it is a form of healing. I will look more into this and integrate the practices as needed over time with my daily life. Thanks again.

@dorg It’s all thoughts in the mind of God, it’s God’s dream, God’s imagination. Perhaps it’s the fact that I am still in ego and that is what has created this fundamentally illusory gap and subsequent frustration. I am really going to think on and meditate on your reply.

@daramantus You do not yet know what God is. Simply put. Your post here and the post that you kinked (I read all of it.) show that you still have your foundation for interfacing with reality fundamentally in a belief in concepts. Please do more work in exploring your (God) consciousness.

@remember It is all spiritual. It has nothing to do with the senses. Everything can be zoomed in on in every conceivable way for infinity. There is no limit to the ways in which God can magnify itself on a micro and macro level. I am familiar with chakras but practical integrated daily chakra work is entirely new to me and I am implementing it into my practice as of today.

@Consilience Thank you. I also meditate 1 hour per day but I have been doing the do nothing technique for years. I am going to incorporate these changes and see what happens. I have a very good feeling about this. I need to really truly open my heart chakra all the way up. I also had an LSD trip where I felt a similar vibe to yours in this area. I have to open my heart to loving all that is, so I can really see the beauty in all that is. Consciously being a loving human will now become a big part of my practice perhaps my main practice which I stack all other practices on top of. Thanks again for the advice and words of wisdom.

@zeroISinfinity I got a lot of value from that post. Love, acceptance, balance. Follow your path and play authentically. Even now I feel my mind trying to understand your post fully; but I will be honest I don't and I'm OK with that because as I continue in life I will and it will be great. Thanks.

@Consilience I feel grateful but not as grateful as I could be.I struggle with loving all that arises and I don't know why. I love all of myself as a human currently and it feels great! But as God I don't love all aspects of existence which I am, and it feels strange like a hole or a gap between nondual awareness and this human mind. I still have an issue with the infinite menagerie of forms and the suffering that many forms experience. You are right a much deeper dive into love and acceptance for existence is what I need to focus on. Are there any books, techniques or practices that you would recommend?

@remember Phenomena is all of the forms of God. It's God playing in it's imagination so it can learn about itself through limited forms.

@remember You are very perceptive.I have experienced states of complete contentment and happiness with whatever is arising. However for some reason I feel like I have a bone to pick with existence. Like I am insulted by the fact that God has to learn about itself. There is a frustration within myself that I feel arising whenever I think about why anything exists. I am indeed missing a piece of the puzzle. There is no core of myself as what constitutes me is a collection of thoughts and experiences collected over 22 years. I am infinite you could zoom in infinitely on a physical, mental or energetic level and never reach an end, that’s what God is. I am indeed very lost in the ocean of forms in existence, yes it’s beautiful but God can know itself without experiencing limited forms. There is another way. I don’t know what that way is, but there is another way because God is infinite and this everything is possible. Perhaps my approach to this exploration is a bit disconnected and for this it is creating a gap. Maybe once this gap is resolved the confusion and frustration will be resolved. I am actually traveling right now and am currently visiting Sweden. (I’m from the United States) I have been writing a book about how the noosphere affects the biosphere since 2017.

@zeroISinfinity Thank you. I needed to read that.

@Leo Gura I don't understand. Isn't there some phenomenological demarcation between Samsara here and Nirvana? Everywhere=Nowhere=all is one; but there are many subdivisions of God even if they are illusory. I'm not trying to get anywhere with the secession of experiencing existence, simply a permanent extinguishing of experience never to enter form again.

I have recently left my last job and have not had to go to a job for over a month now and it has been a very refreshing experience to not have to wake up at 4:30 every morning to go to work. I have used this time off for much self reflection and internal work on myself. However as the prospect of getting a new job looms on the horizon I have been having nightmares about returning to the workforce. Every cell in my body does not want to return to that hell. There is just something in me that snapped during this time away from a job and it will not allow me to torture myself like that ever again. I was wondering how many of you have nightmares about going to work and also how many of you have found a way out of this uncaring cycle? How do I overcome this victim mentality? I think I am going to let go and see where life takes me. I have a belief that if I do not get a job that I will become homeless and become so deeply depressed and defeated that I will just let myself starve to death on the streets. I have this need for stability in my life and having a job feels like the biggest risk I can take. It feels like I am walking on a tightrope that can snap at any time and thus I loose my income and quality of life. I am holding on to my quality of life and income as a means to achieve my goals in life. This feels very myopic to me and I wonder what will happen if I let go of the mental construct that I hold. Will I die? I am afraid of dying is what this all boils down to. I'm not going to live my life from a place of fear anymore, I have spent too long doing that and it has caused too much damage to myself.

I will provide a bit of background. I have been meditating around an hour per day since March 2014 at the age of 17. Since then I have changed much as a person. I went vegan in 2014 and have been raw vegan since 2015. I have done psychedelics including cannabis, LSD and mushrooms for purposes of nondual entheogenic exploration. As a result of my consistent meditations and mindfulness I have had a number of peak nondual experiences. I had a kundalini awakening event in June of 2017 a few days after consuming psilocybin for the first time in which during a meditation I felt a jolt of energy surge up my spine and explode in my head. Additionally I have read more books in the past 4 years than I have in the last 10. My mind has wondered and contemplated the infinite complexities of existence daily for years now. I also went through a deep dark depression with suicidal thoughts from 2016 to 2017. I have consciously been on the path of nonduality for 4 years now and I know that everything in existence is fundamentally ONE and that everything is GOD. I am well aware of the infinite fractal nature of reality and I see infinite universes in everything, not hallucinations but a deep knowing and feeling of energy from past profound experiences. Systems thinking is now my normal mode of thinking after absorbing as much information as I have. The feeling of my mind melting all started back in mid-April of 2018; Age 21. I began to notice small changes in my cognition. My memory had begun to slow and become slightly hazy. I began to behave less efficiently and complete tasks less effectively. I have spent much time writing over the past year and a half and I have always been a good writer. However since this phenomena arose in my experience I have struggled to be able to string together sentences and thoughts in writing. Thus conveying ideas through writing is growing increasingly difficult. Even writing this is proving to be quite difficult whereas a year ago a post of this length would have been no problem at all. As the months went on this feeling became more and more apparent I my life. The seeming collapse of everything that constitutes my worldview has resulted in massive amounts of confusion which are making the completion of basic daily performance decline. On my worst days there are times where I cannot even get out of bed because the feeling of absolute confusion is so immense. Focus has gone down the drain. I am frequently forgetting to eat meals due to the absolute insanity of my mind feeling like it’s melting down, and there have been countless days I the past few months where I am eating on average 800 calories per day whereas normally I would be consuming 2,100 calories per day. As a result my energy levels have tanked. I have grown very sensitive to sound to the point where loud noises can be physically painful to my ears. All sounds are louder and sharper. I have always been introverted but now I am so easily overwhelmed by modern life. Making a living feels like a burden. I feel like all of my concepts of life, reality, who I am and what life is are all melting down and basic function is becoming increasingly difficult. There is always a feeling of pressure in my mind. I am not experiencing physical pain in the brain, but a pressure of the mind. Let me give an example, typically after wake up or finishing meditation my mind feels cool and free flowing for lack of better terms. When I am having a busy day working etc my mind is being stimulated and feels warm and active for lack of better terms. Now with this meltdown/ reconfiguration happening my mind always feels hot. For the past 3 months or so my mind has felt like an overheated computer CPU. For most of my life I have functioned with one particular mental configuration. Now it feels as if that well established configuration is melting down into an unrecognizable liquid to be rebuilt into a new reconfiguration. Using an analogy; similar to the life cycle of a butterfly I have spent the entirety of my 21 years of life in mental configuration 1 analogous to the caterpillar stage of the lifecycle. I feel like this year I entered the chrysalis stage of development in which all of my concepts beliefs established patterns etc are all melting down and being “liquefied” to be reconfigured and transfigured into something new, configuration 2; analogous to the liquefication of a caterpillar in a chrysalis getting ready to enter the next stage of its life being the butterfly. Hopefully I enter into the next phase of this process sooner rather than later. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. School and work have become massive sources of sometimes crippling anxiety. I do not want to completely meltdown and loose the majority of the external structure of my life (being job loss, school loss and loss of stability) but as my mind continues to melt performance is declining in all areas of my life. I think that I am going to collapse soon. I recently had a bad panic attack regarding all of the stress this is inducing. I see broken people everywhere I go and it is hard because I can feel the pain of people I am around and yet my mind is at a point where even forming simple sentences is proving increasingly difficult. Some days I wish I never unplugged myself from the matrix of reality and society. Some days I just want to be plugged back into the matrix. Recently even my dreams are not forming correctly. The appearance of the dreamscape is now grainy and torn in many places in most of my dreams now. I feel like my 400ug LSD trip in November of 2017 changed my epigenetics. I felt like a different person afterwards. It was the most powerful experience I have ever had. I have used various meditation methods over the years and thus I have tried them to see if they could help with this and all have been unable to help mitigate this. For the first time in 4 years meditation has become relatively ineffective for me. I know the ego is trying to control everything and I should probably sit with this experience and let it pass similar to a thought in meditation but that’s really hard to do when my mind and life are slowly falling apart in front t of me. In the past couple of months I have been experiencing muscle twitches and spasms particularly in the areas of the face, neck, back and hands. The only other times I have ever experienced ongoing random muscle spasms like these were right before my initial awakening in 2014 and after I did mushrooms the first time in 2017. In the past I have limited myself to doing psychedelics 3 or 4 times a year. So I am not a frequent user. And I have always used them in a meditative setting. I have taken nootropics in the past for mental boosts as well. But since around June of this year I have been very wary of taking any substances that are mind altering (psychedelics, nootropics, medications, etc.) due to my current mental state, however if anyone thinks that there are nootropics that would benefit me I would like to know. I have always had a low sex drive but since my mind has started going through these changes my sex drive has shot up. I used to sexually relieve myself once a week or less on average and sexual thoughts have never been prevalent in my mind to the point of them being almost not a factor. However now I am sexually relieving myself 3 times or more per week and my mind has sexual thoughts every single day. Not sure if this is relevant but my music tastes are changing too. I have been listening to primarily ambient music since 2012, however in the past 5 months or so, strangely I have been listening to increasing amounts of rap, metal and dubstep. So all in all I need some help figuring out what is going on with my mind. Is this a kundalini awakening gone wrong? Is my energy messed up? Am I nutrient deficient? Changed neuroplasticity? I do not know what is happening to me or why this is happening but I think I simply went too fast in these past 4 years with all of the meditation, books, psychedelics, lucid dreaming, raw veganism, calisthenics and my mind couldn’t keep up with the mental activity and changes that have been happening. Please, to anyone who read through all of this any advice or help you’d like to share would be greatly appreciated. And thank you for taking the time to read through this post. Positive energy and high vibrations to you all.

@RossE This was an amazing report of your experience. So mush wisdom is here. Thank you for sharing this!