nexusoflife

Over the course of roughly the past year I have had several profound psychedelic breakthrough like experiences whilst in a completely sober state that are bear an extreme qualitative resemblance to various tryptamine substances such as LSD, Psilocybin and especially DMT. For context I have 10 years of experience with daily nondual meditation and have had peak nondual unitive experiences as a result. I have 7 years of experience with psychedelics including THC, Psilocybin, LSD, and DMT and have had several breakthrough experiences. I only do psychedelics 3 times per year. As well as 10 years of contemplation experience and have read hundreds of books on spirituality, psychology, science, etc over the past decade. I have essentially dedicated my life to nondual understanding and as a result of all of this work I experienced an extremely profound and ineffable shift in my consciousness in mid 2021 wherein I directly perceived and experience myself as completely unified with all phenomena in the totality of existence. I see and feel all of reality no matter how “mundane” to be profound beyond description. All of reality is seen as an infinite dream that I (you, there is no difference) the infinite intelligence of the godhead is imagining into being. I have lived in this nondual experience relatively consistently for the past 3 or so years. With this context provided I can only guess that the spontaneous DMT like experiences I have been having are a result of the neurological changes that occur with nondual realization and long term meditative practice. Allow me to explain how these states come on. The first time this occurred it was around 3:00 at night. I had awoken from my sleep to use the bathroom. When I laid down I was having trouble getting back to sleep. So I laid in bed waiting to fall asleep. Then I looked over at my bookshelves and when I did I saw that entire side of my room morphing and glistening with thousands of rippling colors across the books and walls with semi organic and semi geometric patterns forming and dissolving. I had not taken any substances in 3 or 4 months when this occurred. I thought I was dreaming. I did not understand how this was possible as I was completely sober. I had to be up for work in a few hours and I knew I didn’t have the luxury of deeply investigating this at the time so I decided to roll over and close my eyes to sleep. Interestingly the visuals subsided when my eyelids were closed, however the psychedelic and profound head space remained. This was the first of several much more profound sober psychedelic experiences. Fast forward months later and I started to add lucid dreaming to my spiritual practice. Some time into my work with lucid dreaming I became more familiar with the world of my dreamscapes and some of the mechanisms of my mind. On one of these nights I was doing my typical routine for lucid dream exploration. Again at around 3 or 4 in the morning another one of these DMT like experiences occurred. I was not fully asleep. I was still aware and alert that I was in my room laying on my bed. But I was close to the hypnagogic state. This is when everything began to shift. I heard the exact same ringing in my ears as when I’ve smoked DMT. Then my vision began to intensely distort and fill with hundreds of beautiful colors and geometric mandalas. My sense of self quickly began to dissolve and ultimately be obliterated as I faded into the absolute unity of the imagination of the mind of God. This unity of consciousness and intensity of unconditional love was several orders of magnitude even more profound than the unity consciousness that I feel in my daily life. I went from perceiving the thousands of mandalas in my experience to literally becoming the thousands of mandalas of this DMT like experience. I was billions of lightyears in size and I was shifting and transforming at a rate of thousands of iterations per second. I was an infinite menagerie of forms creating an infinite menagerie of worlds throughout the multiverse and beyond. And in my curiosity I would zoom in my perspective on some of these worlds (being aspects of myself) that I brought into being to witness the forms in them and then shift back out to a macro perspective. However this experience ended as quickly as it began. The intensity of the mandala transformations began to subside and my consciousness began to shift from cosmic magnitude back to that of an individuated being, however the feeling of unity and beauty remained, it was less amplified however. Eventually my consciousness shifted back to that of a human experience and I was looking at the darkness of my closed eyelids. The feeling of peace I felt was all pervading and reinvigorating. I then woke up to record and explore my recent experience in detail. These are two abridged versions of several experiences I had like this. There have been a few other sober DMT level experiences I have had where I communicated with loving and alien like psychedelic entities but that is far too much to go into here. My main questions are these. 1 Have any other experienced mediators or psychonauts experience a similar phenomenon? I have heard Terrence McKenna and Ken Wilber reference monks who when given LSD, DMT or Ayahuasca remark that those psychedelic states were very similar to the sober states that these monks experience in their own practices. 2 I also wanted to know if anyone knows of methods that would allow me to enter these experiences more consistently and reliably? As while extremely profound they are very fleeting, fading even faster than N,N-DMT most of the time. 3 I am specifically interested in if it may be possible to access these states to go directly to the Godhead; beyond all manifest form? I have experienced my consciousness shift into that of the Godhead knowing that the totality of all of existence is a dream occurring within the mind of God, created to explore and experience itself forever. However I have only directly experienced the Absolute Unmanifest Godhead a few times. I wanted to know if I could use these sober DMT like states to go beyond illusory form and directly to the Godhead more consistently. If so, how? One thing I feel important to note is the following. Whilst I have several years of experience with psychedelics and have access to entheogens to assist me. Ever since my shift into consistent nondual perception a few years ago something interesting has become apparent. In all of breakthrough experiences after 2021 I've had encounters and conversations with tryptamine entities, alien consciousnesses and soul guides and most of them at some point have said some variation of this; “you did not need to use this substance to get here, you can experience this and beyond through yourself.” I have also had a few entities say that; I was actually slowing down my spiritual progress by insisting on using a substance as a “middleman” to access transcendent psychedelic states. I did not think this was possible until these experiences started spontaneously happening to me while sober. I am not in any way denouncing psychedelics but something novel is happening in my spiritual development and I want to explore it responsibly; and I want to heed the messages I have received from the very intelligent and wise beings I have encountered through my prior trips. I would appreciate any help or insights that people here may have.

What are some good books on how sexual arousal affects our state of consciousness? Recently I have been thinking about how sexual activity affects and can alter our state of consciousness. When we are highly aroused especially during intercourse we often enter what feels like a trance like state. The intensity of peak sexual arousal can feel almost psychedelic at times. I wanted to better understand how the sexual experience can alter our perception to such a degree so as to make us feel totally entranced and sometimes even to the point where the sexual experience can feel almost psychedelic. I’m interested in how hormones such as oxytocin play a role, as well as other mechanisms involved during sexual experience that can affect our state of consciousness. Any suggestions are appreciated.

@Leo Gura Thank you for pointing that out. Much appreciated.

@joeyi99 Thank you! Will check for that right now!

@Leo Gura Ok. I will look through your videos on Epistemology. The reason I bring up your story with that person is because some of what you mentioned there lined up with what I have been experiencing lately. As a result of shifting into a nondual place of perception in the past 6 months or so my mind has been at peace and equanimous however it is my body has struggled to keep up with the transformation. Prolonged exhaustion and nausea arise whenever I engage in my usual nondual practices. Do you remember any more of your exchange with this person, and why did their awakening trigger their physiology in such a way?

@SeaMonster I know. I have experienced and navigated through kundalini awakenings before. However in more recent months as a result of shifting more into a nondual state of perception it feels as if my body has struggled to keep up. Despite the mental peace and equanimity I feel, the body is experiencing prolonged exhaustion and nausea more and more often whenever I do my nondual practices.

@herghly Thank you. I think this book will prove quite valuable.

In one of Leo’s videos he mentioned a short story wherein he went to a retreat and he had a conversation with a person there. The person he spoke with told him about his past experiences at the retreat and how on one occasion he spent the night sick and vomiting due to the sheer intensity of his awakening. I know there were more details of this story that Leo shared but I cannot seem to find the video where he recalled this story. I thought that it would have been in the videos, “The Dangers Of Misapplying Spiritual Teachings” or “The Dangers Of Spiritual Work” however I was not able to find this recount in those videos. If anyone remembers which of his videos he mentions this story it would be greatly helpful.

@lightpanther Thank you for taking the time to read through my entire trip report I greatly appreciate it! Also thank you for asking such an in depth question. I want to also apologize for such a late response. I agree with you that whenever the subject of “powers” is brought up in relation to nonduality the intricacies of exactly how to do it are brushed under the rug. And I am going to be very honest with you in my response. I have not been able to manifest a water bottle next to me in the months since I smoked DMT and therefore I am not able to give you a step by step reliable guide on exactly how to make such events happen in physical reality. However I am searching for the same answers as you are and am still doing the necessary work to increase my understanding in this area. With that being said I will address your query to the best of my ability. These phenomena are very real. Astral projection, extrasensory perception, remote viewing, spontaneous manifestation, dematerialization and rematerialization, phasing through objects, all of these things are very possible without breaking the laws of physics as we know them to be. The question is not whether or not they can be done. There are people on this planet right now who can do these things. I myself have astral projected a few times before. If you haven’t yet, read Autobiography of a Yogi, it is a prime example of some of these things occurring. It is a question of what is relevant for a soul to experience in this spatiotemporal journey. In your post you seem to be very passionate and somewhat frustrated by the fact that these abilities are not cultivating in your experience. This leads me to say this life is not about what you want. Life has never been and will never be about what the ego structure wants to experience. It is about what the soul needs to experience in this spatiotemporal realm for it highest growth development and fulfillment. Additionally all souls make agreements before incarnating. Think of it as setting up appointments before you incarnate in a specific life. If you have made an agreement then it will happen in your life experience and there is really nothing that will happen that will stop it from happening. And if you have not made an agreement then it won’t happen in your life experience. I say all of this to say that there are many degrees to yourself that are creating this experience of life and you as an individuated soul, several orders of magnitude smaller than the Godhead wanted to live as a limited flesh and blood human. This is an extremely important thing and should never ever be taken lightly in how profound of an experience you are having right now. You seem to very much want to be your True Natural Self. There is absolutely nothing, absolutely nothing at all that is preventing you from being your highest self and expressing that fully except for the untrue belief systems that you have within yourself that say otherwise. I also would like to make something a bit more clear. As in individuation of consciousness you are a series of components nested within each other in a holonic structure. There is the Oversoul of the specific frequency that represents the energy of your individuation which can incarnate into an infinite spectrum of forms each a different variation of your individuation. Within that Oversoul’s infinite incarnational experience there is the individuated Soul that is associated with a particular set of lives which are exploring similar overarching themes and lessons, subset to that is the Higher Self which is a projection of the Soul that is like a tether which allows the soul to absorb and communicate with the experience of the physical self that is having this spatiotemporal experience. I give all of that context to say this; your Higher Self and Soul hear you loud and clear. The nonphysical components of you are infinitely more intelligent than the human primate brain will ever be. These higher components of yourself know exactly where you need to go in your life and exactly when you need to get there. As humans we like to insist on taking what we perceive as taking the short and straight path in life that we think is going to get us to our destination quickly when in fact that is the slowest and most painful path. However our Soul and Higher Self insist that we take the winding and seemingly convoluted path because from the perspective of infinite intelligence that is the path that is the fastest and offers the least resistance and is that path that will truly lead you to fulfillment. I feel it is important to reiterate that there is absolutely nothing at all that is preventing you from being your highest self and expressing that fully except for the untrue belief systems that you have within yourself that are in direct contradiction to your natural frequency. Pain and poverty are very real realities that billions of people experience. There are people who experience incomprehensible levels of suffering. However we very often to use the external world as the primary reason for why we cannot be who we truly are. Every single experience that a being has is a reflection of their inner state of being. All things are reflections. Without exception. I have experienced starvation twice in my life and have been hospitalized several times growing up as well as needing to take medications just to have proper respiratory function. I say none of this for pity. Despite the very real health and financial challenges I have had in my 24 years of life I am exactly where I need to be in my life at this exact time. I cannot stress this enough. Every single experience that you have ever had, or will ever have is a stepping stone on your journey in life. If we invalidate any experience that we have had no matter how nightmarish or heavenly then we are invalidating an aspect of ourselves and casting it into the shadow of our being which will only lead to future suffering. We are incarnated as bipedal primates because we chose to agree to these limitations just before incarnating in this realm. And we made this choice from a perspective of infinite intelligence. We made these choices of limitation because they would facilitate our path to the highest level of development for our soul if we chose to actively participate in our development in life. You as an ego structure may be done with the limits of physics and biology but your soul knows those limitation are still extremely relevant and extremely important for you to be experiencing. If they were no longer relevant at this time then you would be able to experience some of these metaphysical abilities already. Trust the timing of your life, what needs to happen on your journey will happen exactly when it needs to. I would like to finish with this. Life is a dream. When we have a dream we usually go through it unaware that it is a dream and we cannot exert very much of our power in the dream. However when we awaken to our true level of awareness then we can exercise our true power in the dream. That is true of physical reality as well. This place is a dream. Everything is consciousness within a dream that your soul is having. And your soul is a dream within the infinite mind of God. And when you awaken on the deepest level to the illusion of this dream like physical realm then things that seemingly bend the laws of physics and biology will be commonplace, obvious and mundane in your experience. However having that amount of power requires a profound level of maturity and mastery and being that the universe is infinitely intelligent it will not give one who isn’t ready the means of nuclear fusion technology because that would result in a cataclysmic disaster. However a matured master would be able to handle such power in the same way that a skilled engineer can design and maintain stable reactors. This life and physical realm (in fact all realms) are all a dream within our consciousness and we will experience exactly what we need to experience at exactly when we need to experience it for our Souls highest growth development and fulfillment if we choose to go with the flow of our being and trust that what we need physically, mentally and spiritually will be experienced when we need it. I hope this response helps.

I have been wanting to learn about the Noosphere and how thought, technology and culture will affect the overall collective consciousness of the human species in the future on a more in depth level but I have not been able to find too many books on the subject. Does anyone know what some of the best books regarding the Noosphere are? Thanks for any and all recommendations.

@Jacob Cook Thank you for taking the time to read through all of it. And also thank you for messaging me regarding your query. Well to start the term “Law of Attraction” is a statement that only provides a partial perspective regarding how the dynamics of manifestation work. In truth this term is a misnomer though not entirely. A much more accurate and perhaps more helpful term to use regarding cultivating an understanding of how the mechanics of manifestation work would be, “vibrational resonance and reflection”. This is because all of existence is a self-reflective mirror of consciousness projecting phenomena and experience to itself through infinite vectors of consciousness that we call individuations. (Basically all of the demarcations that exist, lifeforms, stars, atoms, etc.) All of existence is the totality experiencing itself through these infinite vectors. Me and you are two perfect examples of this. Every part of the totality has a unique vibrational frequency that that is only commensurate with a specific experience of reality. This vibrational frequency can only exist with an extremely specific configuration of spatiotemporal phenomena. This is the core of how manifestation works. How this directly relates to lifeforms is that when we align ourselves with particular belief systems, knowledge, etc and we reinforce that through our actions we cultivate within ourselves a particular vibrational frequency and that can either be in alignment with who and what we truly naturally are or it can be out of alignment with that. Either way depending on whatever vibrational frequency we are in we are always directly reflecting to ourselves a 100% 1 to 1 exact reflection of our internal state of being in our physical experience of life. It is completely natural, automatic, effortless, immediate and total in our experience. And because manifestation is automatic, natural, effortless, immediate and total it also reflects to us exactly what we need to experience in life for the highest level of growth and fulfilment for our soul regardless of whether it is desirable or undesirable to our ego structures. Every alternate universe that you can possibly imagine already exists. So it is not a matter of making something happen or preventing something from happening. (that is spatiotemporal and space time is not real ultimately) It is a matter of your individuated consciousness shifting into a universe that is directly commensurate with the exact vibrational frequency that you are emanating in your baseline state of being. All other individuations will experience and are already experiencing universes that are directly commensurate with their vibrational frequencies. To further elaborate, me and you literally do not live on the same planet and are not on the same website. We are on our respective projections of Earth and the Actualized forum that are directly commensurate with our baseline energetic vibrational states of being. Now, these projections can be so extremely similar that to the body mind complex they seem like they are the same phenomena but literally every lifeform is experiencing only their projection of the entire universe. I hope that makes sense.

@Skin-encapsulatedego I completely agree. All of our shadows no matter how damaging or disturbing are unmet needs. Splintered off and repressed aspects of the ego structure that due to not "seeing" the light of our awareness for several years become shadows and cause us trouble in our lives. As a matter of fact any form of healthily meeting ones needs can be a form of spiritual practice. If one has a need for companionship and or family then meeting that need through consistent authentic social interaction can actually not only meet that need but can also speed up ones spiritual development. Ken Wilber often refers to this phenomena as hidden miniature egos.

@Bacher Thanks I appreciate it. DMT is a truly wonderful substance that we have. I actually made a container to vaporize the substance out of an empty 2 liter bottle and aluminum foil.

@Cubbage Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad that this was able to have such a deep impact on you! I actually have a YouTube channel that I'm not very active on and was planning on some point on doing an even more detailed recount of this experience there. Here' s a video where I explain the first nondual experience I ever had.

@StarStruck Honestly, it's something that I have had my whole life to an extent. People have always noted my ability to explain facts and describe deeper subject areas in life, even as a child. However in the past few months as a result of my shadow work I have uncovered some of the core limiting beliefs that inhibited my ability to fully embody my latent potential for explaining profundity and I have been speaking more with people who resonate with these things and thusly I have received many confirmations and synchronicities of my natural ability.