MrTelepath

That video confuses me a little bit. I get that Sovereignty eludes to having complete authority, reign and power. Isn't there only one infinite God that dreams up the entire universe? If there's an Infinity of Gods then would that mean “I” the human is GOD but another human self is also another infinite GOD? Wouldn't the fact that there are an infinite number of GODS contradict what Leo was saying in his other video pertaining to Solipsism? I think he also stated that it’s impossible to know whether or not these other GODS (apart from your Godhead) exist and that you can only go as far as to establish a connection with them. I could be wrong, though! It’s been a while since I’ve seen the video.

I had a revelation, recently! My folks and I were driving around Miami at night witnessing the beauty and magnitude of the great city. I've lived in Miami all my life and was born in it. There's a lot of opportunities here but it's become a pretty expensive city to live in. Anyway, we were driving through the streets of Brickell, Coral Gables and many other parts of the city. I saw all kinds of people from groups of attractive women to couples to bums and everything in between. I've got a strong feeling I'd end up living under a tree if my parents weren't around. I have this deep overwhelming fear of just about everything you can think of that keeps me from living life to the fullest. I start to shake, stutter, sweat and experience racing thoughts around people (especially women). My biggest fear is ending up as a bum just waiting in a curbside for death to come and take me. If I gave a list of all my fears deeply imbedded in my mind, we'd be here forever. My life is a never ending nightmare! I've been able to cope with my sex life through escorts and strippers because I know it doesn't take much effort on my part. I mentioned this in a recent thread. That aside, if I wasn't afraid at all I would've conquered the earth a long time ago (not literally, it's a figure of speech). Exposure doesn't seem to do the trick or be as effective as I'd hoped. It only works if outcomes of the actions I take are positive if that makes sense. For example, the simple act of saying hello to strangers or women is extremely difficult for me to do. I'm to locked within my own mind. I won't say hello unless I'm 100% certain their reaction is positive. The mind is such a complex thing to get around. I've watched Leo's 2 part series on Fear and it was easing to watch. It gives me hope that this problem is fixable. I've educated myself in every manner possible when it pertains to Psychedelics. In fact, it's pretty much all I do and all I've been doing for a while now. I've listened to some of the greatest pioneers in the field such as Terence McKenna, Timothy Leary, Ram Dass, Aldous Huxley and many others. I've read dozens of trip reports from others on Erowid.org, Reddit and other platforms. I have experience with Magic Mushrooms & Cannabis (more of a Semi-Psychedelic). I have yet to try other Psychedelics such as LSD, DMT & Mescaline. I have nothing but love and respect for these substances. One of the main reasons I got into Spirituality and Psychedelics was to Transcend Fear as a whole. I firmly believe that's possible to achieve or at the very least temporarily achieve this. I call Psychedelics "A Gift From The Gods" to put it poetically!!! That being said, I feel in my gut that this is the solution to overcoming many obstacles and mental barriers. I don't claim to be awaken by any stretch of the imagination. I'm far from it if anything. My hope lies in The Psychedelic Experience!

Yes, I know him. I’m subscribed to Vivec on YouTube and I follow his Instagram as well. He’s a cool dude! One of the best Psychedelic YouTubers.

True! Watching films can be a great waste of time while tripping. But let’s face the fact that the majority of people who use Psychedelics do it for recreational purposes and one of the ways you can have fun while tripping is by watching movies. At least, from my perspective! And as for Midsommar, I included it because it depicts perhaps one of the most accurate psilocybin trips in all of cinema thus far. But there are other films I’d watch over it (not to mention it’s horror film) during a trip like the ones above. That being said, I think tripping recreationally has its perks! While awakening should be the most important thing not everything has to be about it. I find that to narrow-minded. Sometimes it’s nice to just bask in the pleasures that the psychedelic experience brings.

I don’t know how else to say this but looking back this past year I’m ashamed I had to pay women for sex. I even lost my virginity to an Escort Girl. I have very little experience outside of Escort Girls and Strippers. Truth is I was looking for an easy alternative! One that doesn’t involve me putting myself in a position where I’m going to get rejected or hurt by a girl. At the same time, I’m disappointed in myself for not having enough balls to approach. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Escort Girls and Strippers, particularly, but in this case I did it for the wrong reasons. Looking back at it I should’ve valued my virginity a lot more. I felt violated the first time I had sex even though it was my choice to go through with it. I hold myself accountable for that and don’t blame the woman. Still it would’ve been nice to lose it to a girl I had an emotional connection with. I don’t know what to make of it now.

Yeah, of course! I’m always going to take precautions regardless of dosage.

That’s completely understandable. A drunk guy is much more likely to become violent towards the girl. Rejecting someone like that is the smart thing to do.

I would say maybe that’s the case with some people. So far I haven’t experienced being rejected by any Escorts. All of my experiences have been pretty decent!!! Yeah, I’ve heard of some guys going through that. Generally speaking, as long as you pay them you’re fine.

Exactly my point!!! Thank You.

It’s because Escorts and Strippers don’t require much effort to sleep with. I still get anxious around Escorts and Strippers an example being the first time I went to the strip club. However, I don’t get anywhere near as nervous as if I were to approach regular women. Edit: It’s an easy alternative in that I don’t have to put myself in situations where I’m going to get rejected or humiliated.

Wow! Psychedelics truly affect everyone differently. I’ve heard of some people experiencing blackouts at intense doses whereas others have taken up to 5000ug and went out of this world, completely. Yeah, low doses are what best suits me for the time being. Thanks!

Thanks! I’ll check it out.

@Jannes I find any information I receive regarding the psychedelic experience to be useful. In this case, I want a better understanding of what high doses are like before jumping the gun. I plan to experiment with LSD in the foreseeable future. And I hope to work my way up to this dose perhaps even more in a responsible manner.

@Alfonsoo Not at all! Just sharing my experience. In my case, maybe you can say I’ve replaced emotional connections (friendships and romantic relationships) with Escort Girls which I’m not proud of. You can read about it on a thread I made here, recently. Like I said, I have difficulty making friends with the opposite sex. I don’t have much advice to give you. In your case, I guess I would say don’t overwhelm yourself with something you have no control over. Edit: I’ll add that I have trouble relating and connecting with women on an emotional level. I’ve never had a real friendship with a woman. The scenarios I mentioned above were merely attempts to establish friendships but resulted in failure. And no I’m not saying Sex Workers are a replacement by any means. I apologize if it seemed that way.

Tell me about it! Some of the girls I saw charged fairly for the hour. One of the girls charged me $120 for only 15 minutes which is a little pricy compared to the others I saw. The only reason I haven’t been seeing more girls is because I’m currently unemployed. When I get my new job I might want to resume seeing Escorts and Strippers because like I said it’s easier than putting myself in situations where I set myself up for rejection, embarrassment or humiliation. I’m ashamed but at the same time it’s so fun. I use a few sites online to get girls but I don’t know if I’m allowed to share here or through PM.

@Alfonsoo I can relate a bit! The very little experience I have with befriending girls has resulted in non-desirable outcomes. There won’t be much advice I can give you seeing as I don’t have much experience being friends with girls. I’ve been in a few similar situations to this but I’ve never puzzled as to why I can’t maintain a healthy long-term friendship with a girl. There’s so many things I try to piece together when it comes to girls but I always fail to understand them, completely. This is one of the reasons I turned to Escort Girls and Strippers. It’s a straightforward thing to pay for sex and that’s it. As well as not having to put myself in uncomfortable situations where I start to shake and stutter. My palms get all sweaty and I begin to have racing thoughts. But that’s a whole different topic all together. As for being friends with a girl, the few times I’ve attempted that it’s ended in her becoming distant and moving on with a group of other friends. And I wonder to myself “Did I do something wrong?” Or “Are we really friends?” So I know a bit about that.

I’ve been wanting to try Candy Flipping for some time. I’ve never combined Substances of any kind. Generally, I prefer taking each individually seeing as it seems safer. I hear some people have a good experience when combining compounds and I’ve been curious about LSD and MDMA together. Keep in mind that this is for future reference. I haven’t taken either, yet.

Yeah, it was. Honestly, I can’t see myself having relationships outside of hooking up with Strippers and Escort Girls. That’s what really disappoints me! It’s a limiting belief, yes, but I don’t have my life put together very well, at the moment. I’m pretty young and I’m far from having a stable future. Work in progress! Also, as I mentioned above it’s much easier to pay for sex than to put myself out there and socialize. Putting myself in uncomfortable situations feels nearly impossible. I start to shake and my hands get sweaty. My heart starts to beat rapidly. I get racing thoughts and stutter as I talk. The thing I’ve learned about myself is that I won’t do something unless I know 100% that the outcome will be positive. Doing things like going to public places, night clubs or any type of social gathering seems a bit out of character for me. I’m very introverted and spend most if not all of my time at home. I was able to do hookups and go to the strip club cause I was working at the time and I knew it didn’t require much effort on my part to get laid through paying. I’m temporarily unemployed, right now. But I won’t lie. I am somewhat tempted to go back to sex workers cause it’s fun. Deep down I know it’s not what I want, really.

I mean yeah maybe. Perhaps, it’s nothing to be ashamed of but it’s not exactly how I expected things to turn out for me. I feel pretty low paying Escort Girls and Strippers for their time. I wasn’t ashamed of it, at first. But then I began talking to a few people about it and they advised me to keep that part of my life a secret. They told me people (especially women) don’t respect that. One of them thought that it was kind of weird to lose your virginity to an escort girl.

That would probably be more ideal for me too since I have experience with Shrooms. I know Mushrooms and MDMA (Hippie Flipping) are synergistic. How was the experience like for you? Shrooms tend to be very mellow for me, at least. MDMA is very energetic and stimulating, I heard. How does it feel to be on both combined?

I don’t hear many mentioning the works and life of English Writer Aldous Huxley. His work has been influential and well known to many. I believe Terence McKenna spoke highly of his thoughts and ideas. One of the first books I read in my Spiritual Journey was “The Doors Of Perception” where Huxley details his experience with Mescaline. I’ve come across some quotes by Huxley and they seem rather remarkable. Quotes “The spiritual journey does not consist of arriving at a new destination where a person gains what he did not have, or becomes what he is not. It consists in the dissipation of one's own ignorance concerning oneself and life, and the gradual growth of that understanding which begins the spiritual awakening. The finding of God is a coming to oneself.” “The truth is paradoxical; but man’s passion for rational coherence is even stronger than his love of truth.” “The man who comes back through the Door in the Wall will never be quite the same as the man who went out. He will be wiser but less sure, happier but less self-satisfied, humbler in acknowledging his ignorance yet better equipped to understand the relationship of words to things, of systematic reasoning to the unfathomable mystery which he tries, forever vainly, to comprehend.” I haven’t read any of his other books aside from “The Doors Of Perception.” I’ll say that his philosophy of life and ideas revolving around spirituality seem pretty advanced. Though, I can’t tell whether or not he was awake and I wanted to hear what others think. Share any thoughts regarding the matter. Thanks!

I love both teachers. I think they make tons of interesting remarks in their lectures. The ideas and theories that Terence concocted in his seminars have always fascinated me. Like the origin of magic mushrooms and how the spores migrated through space establishing a foundation here on earth seeking to create a symbiotic relationship with humans. McKenna was an explorer of Altered States and the Psychedelic Experience. I see Alan Watts as more of an Eastern Spiritual Guru. Which is kind of what he was considering his work revolved around Eastern Philosophy and Spirituality. I’ve only listened to a few of his lectures. There’s a quote/statement made by him that makes me believe he was awake. “God likes to play hide-and-seek, but because there is nothing outside of God, he has no one but himself to play with! But he gets over this difficulty by pretending that he is not himself. This is his way of hiding from himself. He pretends that he is you and I and all the people in the world, all the animals, plants, all the rocks, and all the stars. In this way he has strange and wonderful adventures, some of which are terrible and frightening. But these are just like bad dreams, for when he wakes up they will disappear. Now when God plays "hide" and pretends that he is you and I, he does it so well that it takes him a long time to remember where and how he hid himself! But that's the whole fun of it-just what he wanted to do. He doesn't want to find himself too quickly, for that would spoil the game. That is why it is so difficult for you and me to find out that we are God in disguise, pretending not to be himself. But- when the game has gone on long enough, all of us will WAKE UP, stop pretending, and REMEMBER that we are all one single Self- the God who is all that there is and who lives forever and ever. You may ask why God sometimes hides in the form of horrible people, or pretends to be people who suffer great disease and pain. Remember, first, that he isn't really doing this to anyone but himself. Remember too, that in almost all the stories you enjoy there have to be bad people as well as good people, for the thrill of the tale is to find out how the good people will get the better of the bad. It's the same as when we play cards. At the beginning of the game we shuffle them all into a mess, which is like the bad things in the world, but the point of the game put the mess into good order, and the one who does it best is the winner. Then we shuffle the cards and play again, and so it goes with the world.” - Alan Watts As for Terence, he was a heavy believer on Psychedelics revealing Truth and being able to save the world. I get that just because you’ve used Psychedelics doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve awoken. But for someone like him who’s tripped dozens and dozens of times on heavy doses I’m fairly certain he’s had awakenings here and there.

@Yimpa I highly doubt Trump is awake, lol.

@Razard86 Wow, that was really insightful. Thank You!