Agrande

I started taking it because it was prescribed by my psychiatrist after I was at the brink of suicide at a cliff. I got sent to a psych ward. In hindsight, I think I could have overcome my depression without medication because I forgot how strong thoughts and emotions feel like. I feel like I don't exist basically. But maybe that's a good thing because I see the truth in it. I stopped taking it because it made me too lethargic and it made my body feel weak and after quitting cold turkey, that problem was resolved. I had the most psychedelic visuals that engulfed my field of view after I woke up from dreams during the first 3 days quitting. And dreams got pretty vivid. I know because SSRIs act on serotonin, it also affects the pineal gland. Maybe that played a role in my first awakening somehow. Since taking and after quitting, things just look brighter and almost otherworldly now. A shift in perception most likely happened somehow. Despite the physical side effects of lethargy and weak body gone, I still feel the effects of emotional anaesthesia, poor memory and brain fog here and there but it is certainly getting better when compared to how it was like in the first days of quitting.

I discovered I was diagnosed with this at a young age. To my understanding, PDD-NOS is a euphemism for mild autism. I was socially awkward, anxious and had weird habits that neurotypicals found strange. First impressions people made of me were fine, but the more people got to know me, the more people knew I was not normal. This lead to people distancing from me subconsciously and not talking as much. I wasn't the most entertaining or charismatic either. I wasn't exactly a looker too. Due to extreme feelings of isolation, I eventually attempted suicide at a cliff but of course survival instinct kicked in. But in the moment, I thought that the cliffs looked beautiful with the sunset. I was sort of just engrossed in the beauty of it. Maybe that was the start of my awakening? But long story short, I did get pretty suicidal knowing that I will never be normal. But these days, seeing what normies do, I'm glad to be not normal anyway.

Haha Youtube is pretty boring these days. It's the same old content just rehashed. I went full circle and became a clean slate after years of Youtube addiction. Sometimes you have to go all the way into the addiction and then finally you can let go of it since it has been exhausted... this reminds me of leo's burning karma video.

Tinnitus isn't an issue, but strangely, I randomly get ringing in the ears for like 10 seconds about 2-3 times a day and then it disappears.

I do the classic 3 day split with some modifications (changing from barbell to dumbbells) It’s been great and I’ve noticed lot of changes to my body what’s your routine?

We think in the context of what we know but reality functions in a way that we don't 100% know therefore we just make approximations, assumptions and expectations about reality that might just be myopic considering the larger perspective

For me there’s two types of suicide one is the one Leo talks about which is initiated by an impure mind and is done based on impure thoughts and out of whack emotions. another type of suicide is just done for the sake of it with no intentions of ‘ending suffering’ but just genuine philosophic contemplation of the unknown state of death and curiously wanting to experience and explore it. In other words, it’s done with a pure mind and not under the influence of your emotions.

It’s interesting how we can only understand things based on what we ourselves constructed and labelled (schools, lessons, learning etc.) From our perspective, it would ‘make sense’ but from the higher perspectives… oh boy it’s probably radically different.

What would their chant or mantra be? id say it will be Hare-Gura Hare-Gura Hare hare Gura Gura

Wish I could buy tech without supporting child labour practices 😢

What do you remember during the struggle? What quotes and phrases give you hope to go on? Please let me hear your thoughts

Ever since I started having strong third eye pulsations, I've been seeing angel numbers such as 111,222,333,444,555,666,777,888,999,123,369... and it's been haunting me because I can't stop seeing them even when I don't want to. Is it a sign of reaching higher consciousness or is it a sign of regression instead? Should I just ignore these? Is it the 'universe trying to speak to me'? Please tell me about your experiences and knowledge of repeating numbers and numerology type stuff

After entering states of deep meditation, I have states of profound Derealisation (I can’t find a better word but it feels like everything is a dream) and I start seeing subtle psychedelic patterns wherever I look. I can see the patterns in most detail when I look at a blank wall. I enter into states of profound ‘no-thought’ and it makes me feel like I’m just a witness to whatever is happening. Like a person sitting in the back of a movie theatre (that’s how I feel like) watching my sensory output (sight, touch, hearing etc.) I’m scared this can make me go psychotic or schizophrenic. Should I take a break? I don’t know what to do. Please tell me your experiences and advice.

God said, ‘This is the truth- I speak only the truth- Sad 38:84 "Verily We have brought the Truth to you: but most of you have a hatred for Truth." Az-Zukhruh 43:78 "And cover not Truth with falsehood, nor conceal the Truth when ye know (what it is)." Al-Baqarah 2:42 One Leo will like "For the worst of beasts in the sight of Allah are the deaf and the dumb,- those who understand not." An Anfal 8:22 "for the truth stands out clearly from falsehood" Al-Baqarah 2:256 "They seek to deceive Allah (and the believers), yet they only deceive themselves, but they fail to perceive it. Al-Baqarah 2:9 (self deception) "So the truth prevailed and their illusions failed." Al Araf 7:118 "Ultimately,˺ with the throes of death will come the truth. This is what you were trying to escape!" Qaf 50:19 (death as liberation and pure perception of truth) "We are nearer to him than (his) jugular vein." Qaf 50:16 (much like how dogen said truth is here right now ‘If you are unable to find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?’ - Eihei Dogen)

Yeah, I read the quran again and I recontextualized it and it all seems profound now. I don't get how I blatantly ignored some really good parts of the quran lol

I can't fathom ever going through what viktor frankl did Very strong soul

Gives me nietzsche vibes

This is the most spiritually logical, good

This one is the best imo

Thank you 🙏 By the way, you are from a muslim background right?

Maybe leo retired lol

Godspeed brother 🙏

Let the man live and enjoy his life He doesn't NEED to make videos for us Ultimately, the responsibility to seek understanding and knowledge is on US. Leo can't keep spoon-feeding us forever because he will (physically) die at some point whether we like it or not

I can imagine the unimaginable pains that other people have experienced (physically and mental) Things as painful as shoving a needle up someone's eyeball As painful as having each one of your bones shattered with a blunt weapon As painful as being set on fire and burning alive As painful as someone drilling the insides of someone's ears As painful as having thin, sharp needles pierced into your balls As painful as being boiled alive with the hottest water As painful as slowly being vaporized from toe to head at the mercy of a rope slowly descending you into the strongest acid There's infinite ways of experiencing nightmarish, excruciating pains Thank god I haven't experienced any of that during my lifetime or in my mode of consciousness. 🙏

Seems like i've been worrying about nothing then lol Thanks for clearing this up