Keryo Koffa

The following will be a pointerful description from which you are to interpret the singular focus and theme. To realize as its own holon and name the ability and activity of directly accessing and realizing the pointed to source which unites, correlates and contextualizes so much of one's activity and thought. The act of realizing the source of a duality, the non-dual pointed to "thing" behind it around which everything manifests. Imagine studying tons of mathematical concepts but not having the label of Mathematics and not realize the substrate that binds all the different areas. To realize as its own thing the fundamental question whose inquiry leads to the manifestation of all concepts and understandings. The act of inquiry itself, meta inquiry, source. That which I point to is the ability and mental faculty to realize that there is something that all knowledge gravitates around and that gives rise to all conceptual pointers that point to it but are not it. And in that realization, attempting to access that source directly. Pointers to describe that activity: God, Source, Non-Duality, Meta, Unity, Pointed To, Context, Source of the Context But most importantly: DIRECT EXPERIENCE But beyond that, there needs to be sufficient context to question the source and interconnectedness of and unite all that data, see where it springs, what causes emotions to materialize, and then going meta on the emotion itself, and then go meta on the source of all emotions, and then go meta on the source of metaness itself, and then go meta on that This is what Awakening is, to realize a deeper context as its own thing, the access and realization of which recontextualizes everything Now, how does one become aware of such? Consciousness! Levels of consciousness! Awareness, Inquiry, Intuition, Pattern Recognition, Psychedelics, Authenticity, Openness, Radical Open-Mindedness, All the titles of all of Leo's videos, navigating all the videos in chronological order and realizing the source of the evolution of the topics Leo talks about and realize through Direct Experience the reason for all of them and all of Leo's experiences he's pointing to.

YES! I am currently in the middle of a three step process: Dismantling old belief systems with the help of arising emotions that point me to them, concentration and meditation in the present and an ever growing desire for exploring the mystery of life. As you speak about the eternal, transcendental aspect, I am deeply engaged in exploring it and letting go of everything that keeps me from connecting to it, there's a channel I started watching that delves deeply into the topic. And regarding the bread crumbs, that in and of itself I realized is extremely profound and I made a post about that.

I've reached an equilibrium with Dissociatives. I've done much of the theoretical groundwork through binging actualized.org videos and emotional awareness and then used them to dissolve and equalize otherwise rigid subconscious karmic attitudes and operate from a clear frame of mind again. Now with all these barriers down, I am tempted to increase my overall awareness and explore the morphing experiential, sensual and metaphysical nature of raw consciousness again and expand my frame of mind. I'd like some suggestions, practices you found to be deeply meaningful in your experience, pointers to philosophical self-understanding, emotional mastery, physical exercises, yogic scriptures, breath techniques. And also I'd like for you to tell me about the most scary trips and nightmares you know of, for me to process, face, experience and make peace with before and as a preparation for the trip to push my limits now and then experientially integrate them. In fact, can you list me significant milestones from your journeys for me to contemplate, pointers to focus on, and ego-defense mechanisms to learn about? Can you list me sensations to focus on when tripping and ideas, perspectives and paradigms to integrate? Why do I wanna trip / use psychedelics? To accelerate, expand and intensify my perception and dissolve boundaries, to expand the understanding of what I am and am capable of experiencing, to explore the nature of reality that would otherwise take very long. Now, if instead you know other practices without the need for psychedelics that can do that, then I welcome these whole-heartedly. It's just that travelling the world or interacting with the external environment, while being a great horizontal expansion, doesn't go into the depth and detail of my experience, which is what I really seek, to intensify present experience and uncover unaware biases.

@Evelyna It's that I feel resistance that appears to lead to a contraction of energy and I could just ignore and act despite it, but I find that it actually is a pointer to reconcile a deeper belief from my past which has deeply shaped my experience. And I seek to get to the bottom of it and unearth it, and I have had mystical experiences before and I could even see how they transcend my paradigms, but it's not enough for me to let go. I feel the need to delve into those paradigms and find those contradictions in order to fully be at peace, to reconcile. Now, I have been working on accelerating this process and making it more direct, gaining momentum and working on higher layers of abstraction, to get to the root cause, which the dismantles all smaller assumptions. As you suggest, I am working on installing new programs as well, as the shamanic element of Mystery being a key focus. I feel my learning accelerates and I am quite surprised by the pace, on one hand it is the lack of previous resistance, on the other it is being attuned to the present, then also it is a growing desire and energy to explore and it feels great. I take your advice to heart, I am integrating various perspectives and both the Yogic as well as Shamanic dimension are part of it.

@What Am I Amazing pointer. I remember this being the center of my previous experiences, that energy that continuously flows through me animating my behavior and vitalizing my body and form. What is often referred to as ego-death, I feel is a type of overpowering cleansing energy, that regenerates oneself from the inside out, shedding previous attachments and beliefs. I will actively focus on those inner feelings and combine meditation and concentration with focus on the inner sensations.

I hold many unconscious beliefs that create stress in my daily life. The act of philosophy, journaling and posting lets me achieve a higher perspective, become aware and reframing those beliefs that cause me trouble and discomfort I am working on that, just figuring out what keeps me from being fully open to it

Imagine you're the surface of the ocean, from outside the ocean, one can observe waves, but from the perspective of the ocean, there is only one surface, no matter the local shape, from the absolute point of view, it's perfectly level. It's kinda strange, cause the surface of a sphere is really level from its own point of view and dimension, it takes a whole other dimension to loop it around and see a distortion. All this to say, when you are everything and everyone and your ego also, you are not alone, even though you're a singular thing overall, but nothingness has no room for judgements and infinity has room for all contradictory judgements simultaneously rendering them arbitrary. Now on another layer, you might imply that you're the singular source of your experience, that you are an entity who creates others but is itself objective, but that doesn't really make sense since you are a creation of yourself also, including the distinction, including your mental ideas, including the notion of individuality and collective, to even say you are 1 is really an arbitrary focus since you are 0 and ∞ also, you are whole. And as long as you believe yourself to be an absolute entity simulating reality, you hold that distinction, but its an arbitrary one, you dissolved the notion of others but not that of self, now you believe that there are others and simultaneously that they don't exist, but if you actually believed there were no others, then you couldn't access that as a concept to feel lonely through.

For example: I take responsibility for having posted this in the wrong sub. I engage in so many spiritual topics that posting here has become the default. Now that I am aware of it, I will pay more attention. Though one can say all topics are spiritually connected, just kidding.

@An young being The way I see it, there is a personal and collective reality. Psychedelics tune you out of the collective and into the personal, they reveal how you construct your experience, which of course includes the collective one inside of it. Actually affecting the collective reality on a material level however does not usually work and I would ascribe the reason to it being a self-limiting reality where the will, belief and agency of others creates certain barriers and its own limitations, unable to be affected from personal experience alone, even though it is in a feedback loop with it, the intake of information might be unobstructed, but the expression of energy outwards has certain barriers and might be limited by having to pass through the barriers of the body. One's consciousness might exists beyond the body on higher layers irregardless and affect the body top down, but there might be a certain energetic limitation based on the nature of the collective world which makes it hard to manifest oneself because it would easily break all illusions. It's like switching between different vibrations of energy with some subtly affecting others, but also passing through each other and not being able to just influence each other directly but through vessels and less direct means to uphold the integrity of our reality.

I agree, that is the extreme end of the dichotomy however and I think she is fed up with the act itself of seeing the world in black and white and demonizing or renouncing materialistic desires, instead of seeing them more holistically and exploring the material world more open-heartedly. When conscious, you can experience and enjoy material experience for what it is without falling into the need for endless expansion of the same phenomena, you can enjoy buying and driving a car being fully aware that such an experience is available to different degrees and different extents, but without the compulsive need to experience an ever growing quantitative difference. Though I would describe this awareness as a spiritual process itself, as many fall into neurotic chasing. The same trap does exists with spiritual pursuits however and creating a spiritual ego, though ideally it would lead one to be more aware and holistic. In a way, we can chase an endless expansion of states of consciousness and enjoyment can be found and experienced anywhere. The material world after all is a reflection of the immaterial and part of it.

Dogs are such bundles of joy! Your post really made me more aware and appreciative of all the dogs throughout my life. They're almost like an ideal, so playful and direct. I've lost touch with the present experience in the last years and now I realize the value as I regain it. I still seek to understand larger contexts, but even that I can now transmute into an experiential reality, thinking has its limits and there's no reason to focus on it standalone, which I've previously subconsciously done, as it flows and is interconnected with one's experience, emotions and everything else.

@Evelyna The amount of empathy and love I feel emanating from you is amazing, the way you write is very open and explorative. I've recently stumbled onto the topic of Non-Violent Communication in a post and realized many patters and its value, Leo's videos also helped me grow. I'm deeply appreciative of your encouragement and reflect it back at you also.

@Princess Arabia Hmm, we do seek the feeling, though Spirituality might also seek to understand more directly what it is and how to reach it, it's goal is to become more aware. But Spirituality comes in various forms and even through Materialism, we can experience the feeling, though we may lack the understanding that it is in fact a feeling that we seek and might confuse the objects we identify as the means of reaching it to be innately inseparable from the feeling itself. To me, it's like peeling back layers of the onion but of course each is made of onion. In a way I would say, Materialism is a part of Spirituality, its most outer layer, feelings here are realized the same way as on any other layer, since it's all the same onion, but Spirituality seeks to remove resistance and get to the source to make the process of chasing emotions itself more pleasant and direct. Though there's no objective reason not to find fulfillment in Materialism and ultimately life is an exploratory process of experiencing, no matter which layer.

The way I understand it, focus obscures vision, though everything is available here to be realized already. It's like seeing an environment of objects but not being able to distinguish them, though here its probably the opposite.

@AerisVahnEphelia Let me be the first to counter-intuitively support your endeavor. In my experience, aligning psychedelics with your actual life can be very meaningful and transformative or even to create further experiential depth. I took them outside while I was in a bad mood before and they tuned me into the reality around me, dissolved all my judgements, and made me blissful in any activity. Though depending on one's awareness, some might experience a bad trip but even those have their lessons as long as one doesn't lose awareness itself due to heroic doses. Go with your Gut, everyone's individual and many here swing too far on the pendulum in their beliefs about self-regulation, uniform dosing curves and the safety/purpose based setting of trips, which can actually contract one's paradigm and possible experience. Start small, if you feel that's right, the experience will definitely tell you about your current life, how you see and feel about it, maybe it will tell you something new or confirm it, psychedelics are great to gain a meta perspective.

I see what you mean now, well maybe, maybe I need further clarification. Let me draw some distinctions: There is the ego, current perception, moment to moment awareness. Unaware of the greater context. I have an idea of a Godhead. The non-dual capital M Mind that contains all possible experience. And then Ego is a subset of the Godhead. An particular manifestation of experience and form within it. The Godhead would then contain also the subconscious with contextualizes the flow and change of perception. Did you become the Godhead to the extent that you saw the exact mechanics of the subconscious processes? Because I am aware of but have not experientially witnessed how that intelligence creates my experience Science and philosophy uncover connecting patterns, but I'm yet to witness directly the unfiltered process Now you might say the present experience is already it, but I believe that because my senses and cognition focus me into the specific reality I witness, there are greater meta forces behind it that are hard to become aware of but can be.

I do not follow. My direct experience is consistently morphing and changing. There might be a timeless infinite substrate from which it originates, but the experience itself is always in flux, hinting at a further dimension unobserved. Think of a pink elephant, now a red and blue one, now the pink one's gone, now it's back, you do not know what I will say next until I do. Are you saying the universe itself disappears when you don't look at it, where does it come from then when you do, where was it before? Does it pop in and out of existence? I merely see it obscured.

The physical system is a subjective descriptive assessment of the nature of one's current experience. There is undoubtably an infinity beyond which constantly flows in and out of awareness changing it. Our conflict stems from a seeming lack of ability to navigate and reconcile various states of consciousness.

@Evelyna I have been releasing so many pent up emotions and being honest with myself over the past few days, engaged in countless contemplation and posts and quite obsessively skimmed through endless lessons, gaining a lot of insight in the process, but later realizing a certain vanity in the need to express a perspective when the next moment it is recontextualized through a new one that almost inverts previous understanding. Just now, I have gone through many of Sadhguru's videos and changed my breath to a very long and slow in and out, doing it consciously over the past whole hour with 2/3 breaths a minute. I have made some decisions on what I seek to experience and focus on. I thank you for your posts including the one on the meditation topic I posted, I agree with the experiential nature, the need to know truth has been a rather obsessive aspect of mine that I am only now transmuting into a more exploratory way.

@Evelyna Thank you. Indeed, it seems that what I am to do is expand my understanding and awareness of all emotions, what they point to and their interconnection. Until now, I could easily get trapped in the sensation itself or act on it rather clumsily. I am reinterpreting it as a system to make me aware of potential danger, balance in behavior, contradictory beliefs and an exploratory means. I just have to be more attentive to what they point to and how they work. I've picked up quite a bit by watching Leo's early videos, so much counter-intuitiveness or opposite of how I previously perceived.

I've been doing a lot of shadow work and my circumstances and abilities improved, the reality I live in has various experiences and many learning opportunities, I've learned to be more attuned and less resistant to them. At the same time I envy the context of which Seth speaks, a reality where any act is immediately materialized, experienced and traversed, the system of probabilities with a focus on exploration and intent. I find myself having many desires that do not fit in the context of my current reality, its focus is very physical and societal in nature, but this also predisposes rather linear and grounded evolution and slows down the range of possible experience and the rate of its materialization. I find myself having many desires that go beyond what I can experience in it, exploring alien realms and new vivid environments, creatively and intuitively constructing a visual space around me unbound by the laws of three dimensional existence, transforming my body into various gestalts and experiencing new senses, being free of responsibilities, routines and physiological needs, splitting my consciousness into various interactive forms and personalities simultaneously, expanding the scope of qualia, shape environments fast through precise intent, materialize various contexts, scenarios and events, exploring emotions experientially reflected in form, gaining ever deeper insights into the structure and functioning of various realities, raising my awareness holistically rather than through intellectual externalized experiments and access a deeper level of intelligence that understands to great depth various lifeforms and the nature of self. And I desire all that more than anything else, although my current reality is a peaceful and malleable one and I can live my life happily inside its current context and grow through experience, knowledge, hardship, communication and it has its own rewards in the nature of its exploration of human evolution and the polarity of separation/unity and strive for harmony, despite ever growing obstacles. But ultimately, although I can attune myself to it, it is not what my heart desires the most and I grow ever more dissatisfied that I cannot more freely and experientially access the raw nature of consciousness itself through the act of creation and self-exploration. Up until now, I felt shame that I was not altruistic enough, the lacking sense of self and individuality in the current context as a result of having immaterial desires, pushed me once to seek only to help others and to experience happiness only through relationships and social dynamics alone, yet that made me dependent and miserable, and I could not relate much of the time, the closeness that I seek I did not experience, it always appeared that everyone was too focused on physical activities and did not feel the same depth of a sense of lack as I did. But I realize I was suppressing my own desires, since they could rarely find an outlet and any identifications and projections were insufficient, physical reality locked me into its own context, and to lead the life available would result in duty and obligation, not genuine desire, I tried to join many social contexts, but could not relate to the experiences of people within them, for most of my life I was rather clumsy when it came to practical matters, recently I worked on that and let go of many neuroses, becoming more attuned and practical, but that only created a new identity, one that adapts but still feels unfulfilled. I've started exploring spirituality and it benefited my wellbeing immensely but it seems gratitude can only distract from unfulfilled yearnings. Seth says part of me strongly desired three dimensional life, that there are individual and collective dramas continuously worked on, I've gathered many experiences and desires, fascinations and perspectives over my childhood and teenage years. The context is always changing, a grander understanding forming, emotions integrate. I honestly desire to leave, I've been drawn to various life circumstances, yogic teachings, buddhist philosophy and madasamadhi, simultaneously I place great value on life, my body and cells, unfinished studies and feel more free than ever to explore the world and witness the upcoming technological singularity. I've transmuted morality, arguments of duty and obligation bind me no longer. Needs, discipline, worthiness, external projections of what I do and do not deserve no longer concern me. I find ever greater appreciation and empathy for others and I am alienated from them all the same, realizing the vanity, monotony and excesses of current life, compensating for the lack of spiritual and existential vitality and vigor. Spirituality itself often partakes in the charade, when it becomes an identity. Art itself has been my purpose but it's so limiting to express it, I would much rather become it. I genuinely seek a more expansive state of consciousness, a creative becoming, an eternal journey of self-exploration, unbound to any context and rules, reliance on others. Altruism can be an authentic desire, it can also be the greatest trap to reinforce existence and suffer dishonest repression in the process. While I am alive, I will live my life fully, but I am not drawn to remain here. Looking back at all my past psychedelic trips, though I didn't notice it then, each experience pointed me to it. In my first, I gave myself an absolute, to accept myself fully or end it right there, the second made me aware of the sensation of being alive, the third made me dance and put me through grief, the forth made me battle to let go of the past, the fifth explored the nature of society, sixth of technology, seventh of animism. In the eighth I was afraid of dissolving into god, the ninth afraid to meet aliens, tenth I was battling fear itself, then surrender, existence, dissolution, transience. I have mistakenly tried to change my desires, the true ones always remain. Self-suppression, excuses, external distractions. Self-creation, interconnection, being complete by myself. Kundalini, prayer, health, honesty. I had the need to understand all of reality, another distraction from facing the end, I've accelerated my cognition to skim through the knowledge, the act itself becoming monotonous. I'm still here, my body alive, future loosely planned, I let go of relationships, I didn't have many to begin with. I want to be free but I will not hurt my body, it is made of pure love. On many trips I kept saying desperately "I want to go home", a place beyond this time and space On one hand, I seek psychedelics now more than ever, on the other Seth's take on them is an estranged one and the integration of my whole being might be better achieved naturally, than chemically, yet I can't deny the directness of psychedelics and my own impatience in expanding the horizons of my own experience, Seth's excerpts do lead me to contemplate and reconsider however: "When large doses of chemicals are used, the conscious mind is confronted full blast with very potent experiences that it was not meant to handle, and by which it is purposely made to feel powerless. Faced with the exterior nightmares of wars and natural disasters, the conscious mind is still directed outward into that world with which it knows it was formed to cope. In periods of great physical stress it draws upon the powers of the body and inner self to perform remarkable feats of heroism, that leave it wondering afterward at the power and energy of the self in crisis. Its own stability and awareness can be vastly deepened and strengthened. In times of seemingly calamitous encounters with nature, individuals may find themselves amazed at their capacity to relate with other people. But in the artificially induced psychic disaster area of massive LSD therapy, the situation is reversed. Consciousness finds itself in a crisis situation; not because of one coming from the exterior world, but because it is forced to fight on a battleground for which it was never designed and cannot understand, where basically counted-upon allies of association, memory and organization, and all the powers of the inner self, are suddenly turned into enemies. It is made vulnerable to all those forces it was meant to lead, while being stripped of its natural logical abilities indeed, of its very sense of identity. There is nothing exterior against which it can work, and no framework in which it can get balance. Ruburt has been working on a book of poems called The Dialogues , and in it recently he wrote of the double worlds. One night he stood at the kitchen window, and quite without drugs saw a rainy puddle below suddenly turn into an alive, beautifully fluid creature who stood up and walked while the rain slid off its liquid sides. He was filled with joy as he observed this reality. He knew that in the physical world the puddle was flat, but that he was perceiving another just as solid reality; a larger one, in fact, in which that rain creature had its being. For a moment he saw double worlds with his physical vision. While the experience was exhilarating, it could have turned into a "nightmare" had his conscious mind not clearly understood; had he walked outside, for example, and found himself encountering living creatures rising out of each rainy puddle; and if for the life of him he could not have turned the creatures back. As it was, it was a beneficial experience. But when the conscious mind is forced to face far less pleasant encounters, and is robbed of its power to reason at the same time, then you do indeed insult the basis of its being. The meaning of the light will normally become unfolded as he is ready to fully perceive it. While the event has happened, therefore, like any event it is not completed. In the drug experience mentioned before, startling, enforced symbols and occurrences are suddenly thrust upon the conscious mind; and more, within a context in which time as it knows it has little meaning. The conscious mind cannot reflect upon phenomena subjectively. They happen too quickly. Within their happening there may be a distorted, grotesque duration in which action may be seemingly impossible. No separation between self and experience may be allowed. Even an exalted experience can be an assault upon consciousness if it is forced. The price paid is much too high as far as the entire personality is concerned. The feelings that are often realized in later sessions, say of rebirth, are indeed that. The old organizations of the self have fallen, and the new structures do indeed rejoice in their oneness and vitality. A strong suicidal base frequently exists here. The knowledge is present that the "old self did not make it so what assurance does the so called new self have? Again, the body is a living sculpture. You are in it and you form it, and it is to all intents and purposes you while you are physical. You must identify your material being with it. Otherwise you will feel alienated from your biological identity. This identity is your physical self through which now, in your terms, all expression must come. You are more than your temporal being alone. Your life as a creature is dependent upon your alliance with flesh. You will exist when your body is dead, but practically speaking, you will always be working through an image of yourself. If you identify with your body alone, then you may feel that life after death is impossible. If you consider yourself a mental being only, however, you will not feel alive in the flesh, but separated from it. Think of yourself as a physical creature now. Know that later you will still operate through another form, but that the body and the material world are your present modes of expression. These attitudes are highly important. In a strong drug experience you take physical demonstration out of its natural framework, presenting it in such a way that its usual reactions make no sense. A world may be tumbling down upon you, for example, yet there is no adequate physical defense or retaliation possible. The psychiatrist may say, "Go along entirely with the experience. If necessary become annihilated." This flies directly in the face of your biological heritage, and the common sense of the conscious mind. I am quite aware of the distorted religious connections made here: Die to yourself and you will be reborn; you will not kill yourself. What you think of as the self dies and is reborn constantly, as the cells of your body do. Biologically and spiritually, new life relies upon these innumerable changes and transformations, deaths and births that occur naturally both in the seasons of the earth and those of the psyche. Change flexibly with the gracious dance of all being that is reflected in the universe of the body and mind. This does not include the crucifixion of the ego. It is always because you do not trust the natural self that you resort to such drug therapy. The individuals who seek out treatment fear the nature of their own identity more than anything else. They are then only too willing to sacrifice it. Your thoughts and beliefs form your reality. There is, as Joseph said in our break, no magic therapy, only an understanding of your own great creativity, and the knowledge that you yourself make your world. In physical life the soul is clothed in chemicals, and you will use the ingredients you take into your body to form an image that is in line with your beliefs. Some of these ideas will undoubtedly be accepted by you from your culture. Others will be your own private interpretation of yourself in flesh. Your beliefs about any chemical will affect what it does to you. Under LSD therapy you expect a drastic reaction and are told to prepare yourself. Your experience will follow your beliefs and your therapist's, communicated verbally and telepathically." And yet, I would not be where I am and would have continued to suffer greatly, were it not for psychedelics, yet any expert on them eventually seems to discontinue their use.

@Javfly33 It kind of shocked me, but yes, my contemplation led me to see ignorance not as a lack of knowledge, but its obstruction, like a mist surrounding one's awareness.

Traversing this forum in questions whose answers are available in Leo's videos Not contemplating questions deeply enough myself and spending enough time doing that Shooting up posts priding myself in insight instead of concising and tailoring them to collective discourse Not realizing the vanity of pride and attributing creativity to ego and caring about the role of being a creative Engaging in way too much speculation instead of raising one's consciousness to know directly

@BlueOak I can see that, I've been expanding my paradigm by reading lots of Seth Material. There, reality is a psychic one, self-created and our existence as biological creatures is itself a cosmic evolution into an interconnected reality of individuated and mass conscious with what we call our ego being an externally oriented aspect of a deeper entity wholly aware of manifesting the entirety of this experience in all its detail and responsible for shifting us between various states of consciousness, know the mechanics of how it is so intricately created and manifested in our illusion and focus into physical experience through the manifestation of deeper beliefs and motives in the image of physical and psychic reality, mirrored in the environment and all objects, a field of attraction navigating all possible realities. If that's what you're talking about and I didn't go 180 to what you meant.

Surely, a decade of Leo's extreme progress in understanding would blow our minds. But then again, I've watched half the videos of actualized.org in the last few days chronologically, and there are many specifically focused on the aspects you named, relationships, love, business, politics. After a while, your mind starts correlating them seamlessly, when you integrate all the lessons and interconnect their topics. Still a good topic though.