Keryo Koffa

@Wizardking There is a specific understanding here and much to realize but take a deep breath, you do the best you can and being at peace will make it easier

@Rafael Thundercat Singularity will dissolve our universe before I turn that old and its a distraction and ego defense mechanism @Princess Arabia Everything evolves and the world is crazy, which is really just to say, ignorance -> Buddhism, but what can we do?

Hmm, I skimmed it and my insights and personal experience tell me all mental illnesses are unintegrated experience and emotional reactions perpetuating karma guiding oneself to integrate them, which our system makes difficult and its valid, a real experience, I myself had it, we gotta be more conscious, compassionate and aware.

@Ishanga I agree, I haven't posted there but my notifications constantly update me on the thread, it's interesting, humorous, sad, I don't know what to do about it or add, I enjoy being here. I appreciate you

Love permeates the universe, I'm an open book, always ready for more and to integrate all

@Javfly33 This is funny and I'm keeping the highest perspective I'm aware of at all times. What insights have you got?

Well, only I can validate it for myself, but all of you are here also guiding each other and me, so I'm open to wherever our ocean wants to take me

I'm letting myself get inspired by all of you on the relative domain which of course is a subset of infinity

@Ishanga Can you guide me please? @Princess Arabia Hmm, now what? @Salvijus Tell me more

@Salvijus I feel like I'm calming down but it's a little anti-climactic

I feel like Frank Yang

@Princess Arabia Whatever reaction I have, to include the opposite also and be aware of the mechanics of both, that's where I'm at

@Princess Arabia Yes, it's tricky

@Princess Arabia @Salvijus To summarize where I'm at right now (I included the timestamp in the link to accelerate this):

@Princess Arabia @Salvijus Explore insanity while keeping my sanity... or learn to create a homeostasis that harmonizes them Pendulum and discernment

@Salvijus @Princess Arabia Sanity, insanity, muddle the waters, transcend and include, control them both

@Salvijus @Princess Arabia I am studying how to keep my sanity no matter the circumstance

I now am, every time I trip, I go haywire and I'm transcending the kneejerk reaction of my amygdala so I can hold everything in a superposition. It's all fun and games until you go meta. I know it's getting tiring, I am however integrating this and each meta reaction on the go, I wonder how much further I can get, the map is not the territory, I am experiencing the territory too. Hmm, I'm getting more balanced and more saturated. Hope you had a good laugh, arabic princess.

@Princess Arabia They are and its fun, overclocking my brain is driving me nuts, I realize I'm playing a game of distractions, the screen contains a million interconnected pointers from which information can be inferred and so does every inch of one's vision and brain and consciousness. I am practicing both extremes of calmness and insanity simultaneously. It's exciting and humbling. And Not-Knowing Increases as the knowing within it. I thank you for your reply, I am becoming far more direct, yet realizing all the synchronicities beyond. I'm trying to ride the dragon and relax at the same time, there's not enough time in the world and meditation is important too, tuning into universal frequency of awareness.

Yes, thank you, I love you.

@Lila9 The problem is I agree, and at the same time we are an infinite prism that reflects the infinite light of god in its own distinct limited/unlimited color, I wonder how to navigate new insights, detachment is freedom, response-ability is agency, I seek to learn more.

"and then we can go full range accelerationism ai-singularity to override the broken system and accelerate change and take away control from our too slowly evolving mokey brains ego games throwing shit at each other and watching the world burn meanwhile being maximally discontent with our petty relational social games game theory dynamics random partying and alcohol self-abuse shit in the toilet absurd stupidity that our culutre is indoctrinating everyone into capitalism to feel good about ourselves and lower our faculties which left to their own devices would have solved world hunger and humanitie's problems eons ago if we didn't need cheap vietnam t-shirts and stupid war drama to distract us from the fact that the earth is dying and we're caught up in ideology, religion virtue signaling, drama, capitalism, scientism academic bs studies advancing physics instead of morals and self-awareness, and demonizing anything that actually raises our consciousness, I'm out" Yeah, not my proudest reply but I did mean it Help me transcend my ego and be more compassionate?

Experiences can be tuned in and out of awareness to infinite complexity and depth. One might say, that's easy because everything is imaginary but oh my god. Computers were not fast enough so we had Moore's law, now we carry them in our pockets (smartphones, smart phones, heh). But we evolve our brains, they're energy storage in matter, but that's just a holarchy inside consciousness that I assume I need to navigate reality and it seems to make sense. We create external technology, maybe it's to keep pretending we have individuality, though our own body is that same technology with the same purpose, why not accelerate that? But aren't we just dodging the truth and hive mind, collective, omni-versal public unconscious, why not just synchronize with that and how do I do it faster?

I finally managed to obtain 100mg of 5-MeO-DMT, but it's not as reality shattering as I expected it to be, maybe I'm just not dosing it right... 5mg Boof: nothing much, except the burn up my ass and the wall texture looking a bit sharper 10mg Boof: feel like I'm dozing off, I lie down, feel very overwhelmed, but I find a trick, I just empty my mind and feel fine 20mg Boof: feel overwhelmed, then empty my mind, then just feel light headed, everything looks normal, reflections are more noticeable 6mg Smoked: stronger than boofing, shorter though, manageable, nothing special 12mg Smoked in three hits: stronger effect, noticeable body load, chest feels softer, but I easily keep all the context in the background Had few more trials with similar results, am left with 10mg. What it taught me: to let go of the monkey chatter brain, but that's kind of it. I had profound experiences with other psychedelics though: 75g of truffles: disintegrating, immense organic worlds, speedrun personal meaning, visualize and annihilate ego distractions, become nothing 300mg of lsd: with chanting and great effort I stabilize vision into a fractal pattern and barely glimpse what others call a dmt entity ketamine + 4-aco-det + 5-meo-mipt: feels like kundalini release, my voice becomes untampered, I feel authentically myself for the first time in my life, I face the fear of solipsism and loneliness, maintaining and integrating the level of overstimulation I feel I feel like some of the experiences I wound have had on 5-meo or n,n I experienced through taking the equivalent of 15g of shrooms. I also had many more hyper-heroic dose experiences that left me lying down for hours disoriented and overstimulated. By now I learned the actual feeling of resistance thanks to actual 5-meo and wonder how far I can now push it. But then again, I feel like if I don't focus on anything, there's no trip, if I just lie down and wait, not much happens, maybe that's the point, there's nothing and I set the objective, though I would really like to see some aliens and spirits that I don't have to intently focus into existence in a way that's indistinguishable from impressioned intentful daydreaming, even in my largest trips, it always felt like I was doing the imagining and it was a conscious effort, I really just wanted to be taken away by the experience without having to imagine it myself. At the same time, I got many really weird ideas and vibes that I would not have come up with by myself, so maybe that process of receiving these ideas and directions is exactly the thing outside of myself that I am looking for. It's just kind of anti-climactic having to visualize it all myself, I feel like I only get vibes and ideas, while others describe getting whole video-streams through automatic open and closed eye visuals. I don't think I've ever gotten open eye visuals except becoming aware of the innate details of my environment or the floor looking and feeling uneven or leaf dense trees looking fractalized when staring at them for long, or the shape of the spacing between their branches giving me alien vibes, or multiple trees when focused upon looking like they're made of humans in different poses forming a type of spheroid arena around me with a 50m radius. Where I'm at right now: I realized today that the perceiver is nothing, since every thing is perceived and by virtue of being perceivable is not the perceiver itself. Maybe there isn't even a perceiver but don't push me, I don't feel it yet, I move my hand and feel the intentionality. Yet there is no seeing, just sight, no hearing, just sound, no being aware, just awareness being itself and somehow all linked by consciousness, some kind of aether substrate of it all. Where is the feeling of I/me? What is it even? I'm still figuring that out, got any good guiding questions? I often feel inhabited by spirits or energies but feel like I need to put in energy to express it all and so the distinction between them and me is unclear, getting a feed of visuals sure would be easier but that only happened once with closed eyes. Even on 20x salvia, plants start looking extra 3d and have copper like metalic texture but no actual weird visuals, I feel super light and energized and am compelled to walk like a funky egyptian, I get thoughts like "just remember, if a tiger attacks you, it's probably not real" and I feel strong deja-vu but no actual concrete visuals, like I'm given vague impressions and have to create a script or play based of them myself, really anti-climactic. Oh, and dissociatives make my body completely relaxed and I feel like I'm made of rubber and my mind also takes on elastic properties and my intuition is supercharged, I can instantly learn new concepts effectively and all videos I look at look like they're really dumb, the people in them sound like 3rd graders and I can instantly filter out the messages and intents and just "get it". Doing things feels simpler, I set the intent and my body and mind work on their own, it's like the ego was actually an obstruction that creates confusion and drama and without it I can just innately get things, figure them out and do them and everything seems so easy like I'm the one overcomplicating it. High doses make render me unfunctional though, until the come down which is amazing. I also tried HHC edibles to see what happens, they brought out anxiety from my childhood, I remembered a lot of things I left behind and wanted to forget, it made me glad because I wondered what I've been doing all my life feeling insecure in my current self and now I became conscious of what that was, all the trauma I went through and know the answer. Ever since it's just disorienting though. CBD is relaxing but kind of weak, I might have to judge it in context as a combo with psychedelics. TLDR; 5-meo didn't affect me as much as I thought, should just have boofed it all at once, but in retrospect other trips might have had a similar quality and I'm really just jealous of everyone else auto open-eye visual hallucinating cool things into existence.