Keryo Koffa

My current understanding is that there might be a willing, which acts like a force of nature and creates its own identity through willing change and action somehow energetically affecting or morphing parts of reality and becomes an entity in the process of acquiring but I am still unsure how much control over reality this willing has. There might be lots of different wills, which each act like the force of gravity forming ever larger structures and generating momentum and action through incorporation and utilization of various aspects of reality but the core will moving through them yet also maintaining its distinctive nature of being a singular thing independent but manifested through what it acquires.

@LastThursday I love this model and the visualization of all possible combinations of causation and correlation. I'll be using it from now on as part of my toolset for understanding various things I wonder which one is actually the case. Of course I'm also open to not have considered alternatives or alternate rules or none of them being a complete understanding. But from all of this: CI -> HM | The whole process is tricky and I think my hand can only move if it's connected to my body and brain, when uninjured, when I have energy and am not too exhausted, I would say that I am in control of initiating a signal that leads in to move. Then again, I am thinking inside the material paradigm. Maybe I am just continuously creating it with the whole universe within self-imposed limitations. AI -> CI -> HM| I've experienced intuitive action taking on dissociatives, with more actions flowing from less intent but maybe conscious perception is just lowered in contrast to allow me great control over a narrow range of experience while all the automatic bodily functions are taken care of through intent I have put into the background and am unaware of but actually doing. I could also however say that I exist within automatic imagination as a conscious experience that can direct its intent into actions like hand movement. HM -> CI | Maybe conscious intent is just a feeling while everything is happening deterministically. I'd wonder why that would be, maybe the illusion of a self is an evolved quality. AI -> HM -> CI | Maybe its all consciousness and still there is no will and it happens automatically, the illusion of control created retroactively. AI -> HM & CI | Hmm, that's interesting, whatever is automatically imagined is simultaneously consciously intended/desired. Like a freely evolving system coming up with the desire to do something and an equally happening action. This would unite a lot of contradictions. AI | CI | HM | That one's just funny Alright, now I have to transcend and reframe each part of the trio and some non-duality. Imagination is a process, question is if its completely consciously intended (possibly limited by the extent that consciousness understands itself) and narrowed to partial perception to create a field of possible action through duality or if there's no intent, just an evolving conscious universe that somehow assumes forms which appear to have intent, from their self-understanding perspective or maybe they're reflecting a self-determining nature of the larger universe partially, there being less desire for action on higher levels and so there's room for ever complexifying forms. Let me shorten AI to reality, CI to will and HM to action Will and Action are within Reality. The question if will is merely an experience or an aspect of reality and if will causes action or is an illusion that justifies action retroactively. There's Consciousness having experiences. The question is if will is an aspect of consciousness which generates action or is will an experience within consciousness and if so, does it influence action, happen simultaneously or a retroactively respond without agency. Of course there could be multiple levels within capital C Consciousness, there could be paradigms in which there is a willing that translates energetically into action and then there's the question whether there is only the willing or a willer? Is a willer having a willing or willing creating a willer by forming an identity through will? Is will the connective tissue of identity grabbing onto things like gravity forming planets, growing, expanding and understanding itself in the process? A force of nature, an energy? It sure sounds like it. Anyway, I'll be occupied reading and integrating all of philosophy for a while..

There's nothing obvious about that. Are bad trips good or resistance to the truth or a needless exploration of selfishness, are good trips bad because they're not hard, or is the lesson of accepting and realizing love a meaningful one? Does exercise upgrade the body or wear it down? Is stress positive or negative, does perspective change that? Is being scared of psychedelics a sign to stop or a barrier to surpass? Is being excited about psychedelics a trap or a sign one is ready to go beyond their comfort zone and challenge oneself. Is engaging in life a distraction or the point of living? Is being withdrawn a sign to self-actualize and change habits or simply cowardice, an overreaction, and coping mechanism. Is volunteering selfless or a distraction from one's own pain and coping. Is life purpose and actualized.org a meaningful spiritual endeavor, or a distraction from living in the present and transforming one's social environment like Sadhguru is doing? Is becoming a billionaire through the manipulation and exploitation of others a meaningful endeavor because one can then use these resources to transform the world or is it a trap that everyone falls into? Is there even a physical body that's being overwhelmed, or is it just one's psychology that is manifesting materially and can be relied on to tell what's healthy? And if so, is being overwhelmed a good thing because of growth like building muscles or a sign to rest, or a sign one went to far or a sign that one did the right thing and really pushed one's limits? There is NOTHING obvious about anything until one really engages and starts wondering. Maybe everything is true simultaneously and non-dually but that doesn't actually create a clear solution, that's its own endeavor based on ever evolving self-understanding.

@Oppositionless math is consciousness, more so an experience within it and I guess there's no reason why consciousness would be restricted by math as much creating it retroactively to understand and connect parts of itself, so math is like a sliver of consciousness, a subset of experience. Space is in consciousness, the structure and nature of space is a conscious experience, the capital U Universe by definition contains everything. Thoughts about a causational structure outside and beyond the possibilities of consciousness keep popping up though, I keep wondering how consciousness can go beyond itself or understand itself, it always expands in the process, infinitely, since you can always do Infinity + 1. But infinity is already infinite. Just like fractals, maybe there needn't be a structure and consciousness is simply self-encompassing omnidirectionally. I guess my old paradigm was focused on emergent properties resulting from lower phenomena, but if I think of consciousness like a fractal, then I can see how it continues indefinitely within the same medium and doesn't need such external dualities. Lower phenomena giving rise to higher ones is a duality and a direction but they're never explained, understanding always goes top-down, non-life doesn't become living and only life knows life.

There's only Now and Infinite-Term. Contentment, appreciation, love, meaning, purpose and whatever dualities separate oneself from happiness while expanding one's self-understanding through an externalized universe can only be experienced Now. There is no long term, grinding for 50 years to allow oneself to retire is foolish, that self won't be able to appreciate it even if it happens to live that long after so much built up karma and constant chasing, it'll just keep being miserable and point out more missed opportunities. There is the infinite term which is expanding one's experiences, skills and understanding in the Now in order to create more such interesting experiences and opportunities in the upcoming Now and create a healthy environment for oneself but that transformation is at every Now point inside the Infinite. The Infinite-Term axis is made of Now-Points, there are only now points. These now points contain actions, states of being, flowing directed energy morphing the present but there is no destination anywhere. All artificial future destinations are illusory and don't bring contentment in their fulfillment, as reality is an active process of living which each moment of awareness. By living in the present and fulfilling desires in the now, the future shifts very quickly and all those pointers and destinations will vanish and reset with every new understanding that recontextualizes the whole. Any skill learned is kept in the background of the mind and automatically transformed by the expanding understanding in all other areas being integrated into an emerging holistic framework of experience. A more healthy approach to goals is to focus on the process and simple steps in the present, simply taking action and expanding one's awareness will create massive changes in one's understanding of any skill, opening up new opportunities, ideas and greater goals in the process of past, present and future all simultaneously shifting. The future is an imagination of the informed present, the past is an echo materializing through imagination based on present karmic desires stored as energy in the body and mind. But there's only degrees of awareness, grinding often comes with massive repetition, resistance and dissociation, dialing back awareness and conditioning consciousness between various states to reduce the need to exist and experience certain situations, giving up life force, time and appreciation in the process. A good place to be is a state of contentment and acceptance and whatever actions will get one there and create the best continuous infinitely stretching Now. And let this whole framework evolve and be overridden in the process of learning to make the best of it as well

@Yimpa I am? I am. I am! I AM! But wait, which me is that again?

There's the initial conscious experience itself and then there's trying to break it apart to understand it in terms of universal laws by looking at it more closely. I have an intuition that every now and then, the extent of possible experience opens us through some kind of new event. That consciousness expands top-down or inside-out and a unique new qualia gets added, like a color chroma or mystical awareness. And then it integrates into and changes reality retroactively to be incorporated into the established paradigm of geometry/physics/math/energy exchange. It's like a quantum physics wave function collapse, only reacting when there is an observer and a unique experience expanding into being integrated with the universe in every dimension it is observed. If one listens, one will know what sound it makes, if one zooms in, one sees smaller portions, if one touches it, one feels the texture, but none of these initially exist, it was a purely new experience introducing a new dimension of actuality and in the process of observation integrating itself into all previously established frameworks to be perfectly compatible with experienced reality. And thinking about such new alien experiences I wonder about the top-down nature of consciousness and it justifying/modelling/creating more in depth experience like a fractal. It seems like our material scientific disciplines go biology -> chemistry -> physics -> math and end with mathematics making up the rules of reality and living in the information age, math seems so fundamental to everything and I just wonder, can consciousness just ignore it, be alogical, I mean sure, logic is just hindsight consistency explaining the correlation between conscious phenomena, consciousness makes up reality, creates unique qualia out of nothing, doesn't have limits, but it just feels so powerful to think about it for me, if it can just ignore, make up that which we consider the foundational building blocks of the universe, then there's no limit on how alien an experience can get, which fills me with fear and immeasurable excitement! like holy fuck is that cool I think that's what I needed to think about to get out of the old paradigm, consciousness just makes new shit up and trying to make sense of it, we invent science that measures correlation between all the stuff, it's just that I was lost in bottom up causation like math but there is no bottom only middle-through top-down inside-out conscious expansion into new dimensions creating artifacts... and that is so damn cool

@Princess Arabia I guess he means that the universe is locked into a specific human experience even if it isn't the human per se since its equally all surroundings, others, the world and cosmos and independent of the human in question. But at the same time it is experiencing that human being self-aware and thoughts popping up. And then maaaaybe on top of that it has control over the human like a puppet so it also is the human and needs to take care of that fact... I don't really know

I might hate sports events but still invite a buddy to a football match because he's really into it and I want to make him happy and show some appreciation to his interests, even if I don't share them, same with other relationships and activities . There might also be some exceptions with neurotic individuals loving others when they cannot love themselves and learning self-compassion in the process. There's also punching someone in self defense of course or stealing food when starving, though one can easily empathize with others doing the same at a little cost of one's suffering if in their shoe. Maintaining law and sentencing others is an act of responsibility but actually aligns with this rule well and proves it, as much as a surgeon operating on someone being uncomfortable being operated on oneself if necessary but certainly also wanting their life saved. The starting examples are just a small sliver of exceptions though and the rule is extremely helpful and highly meaningful 99% of the time, so take this as "the exception proves the rule". This is really just contemplation, not critique and I like this Golden Rule a lot. What I do wanna criticize is just below. What about self defense, constructive feedback, making them aware if they're hurting others, any communication that tries to make them aware of shortsightedness or self-destructive tendencies, being honest about one's feelings when a relationship isn't working out, staying by their side when they're depressed, get angry and are pushing you away, balanced parenting that teaches children about negative experiences to prevent greater suffering later, fulfilling the role of a teacher or mentor that pushes them out of their comfort zone, having a tough conversation about dangerous life decisions, anything that is painful or difficult for the ego in the moment but leads to more freedom and appreciation later, setting boundaries even if it's uncomfortable for the other party or one's children and teaching them about the consequences of their actions, the police upholding the law, the court of justice punishing crimes, playing sports and winning while the other one loses, doing effective therapy, or simply expressing varying opinions I feel like I'm strawmanning with this one but the wording seems unfortunate to me, I'd replace "think and speak" for "advocate for and encourage", else it leads to the following: I guess we're just gonna give up on art and creativity then, exploring all sides of humanity including the darker ones and figuring out good, evil, morality, drama and meaningful conflicts. We're not going to empathize with people of varying opinions and have an open discourse, Education about the past will be quite stifled and a billion other things That sounds circular, if it includes self and others, then what is this statement in opposition of? Is it just saying not to stress oneself to death over the impossible, surrender to the truth and be at peace? What about the future? This is healthy life advice, though if it's absolute morality then that contradicts the voluntarity, if it is a guide then it makes perfect sense. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree, there's just the danger of drawing barriers and turning it into compulsion but that applies to everything and you did say voluntarily and gave good reasons.

I seek to find the core and source of consciousness that generates reality and figure out a way to let it transform me from the inside out. All meaningful change happens through this process, as the alternative is mechanistic repetition and unconscious continuation of pre-established ideas/patterns (I don't want to dismiss that approach of course, maybe building momentum and slowly integrating is necessary not to overstimulate the body and build a foundation but still). The body forms itself inside out, growing from a single undivided cell into the complex, intelligent, specialized, interdependent system that it is today. It continues to create structures and experiences, with conscious experience corresponding to various parts of the brain expanding and interconnecting. But what I seek is to access the process which makes it happen, and my psychedelic experiences point me towards consciousness retroactively upgrading the brain as its physical counterpart and sensory connector in order to account for and understand a greater portion of reality. You might say that Leo already made a video about this and it's the concept of going Meta and that is definitely a powerful way to do it. But I feel like there has to be even more to it or maybe that within the concept of going Meta, there is more room for expanding the understanding of that concept, of what it means to go Meta and understanding Meta² or Meta-Meta. How can I instead of transcending paradigms through Non-Duality as I currently do, access and utilize that experiential feeling inside of me which leads me to become aware and want to go Meta and integrate it into my awareness and make it a default action and state of operating. There are many limitations within that stop us from living our best lives by being stuck in paradigms, maybe there is a point to it, maybe self-deception is just ignorance, maybe its the natural process of evolution that propels us into greater self-understanding and a healthier way to engage in existence, maybe we specifically chose to be as limited as we are in order to experience and appreciate activities that would make no sense from a higher perspective. But low consciousness leads to a lot of suffering, as we see in the world and ourselves, and I realized how my very own ideas and desires lead me to suffer needlessly, chase never attainable pleasure and hedonism, get me stuck and at odds with people and slow my progress towards my passions and the things that I find meaningful. One might say, I'm supposed to learn through physical experience and learn through suffering, but Sadhguru himself says that this human machine is the most sophisticated thing on the planet and we haven't even bothered reading the user's manual, so that's exactly what I want to do. Of course gaining experience through action is a fundamental part of it, but why should I chase random societal desires and karmic tendencies that I don't even authentically want when I haven't even figured out the fundamentals of my human existence and am simply adopting a local paradigm of blind faith, perpetuating negative tendencies in the process of aping after others because that's all I'm exposed to. I've been so unhealthy in the past, the self-understanding I have now would have saved me a lot of trouble, mindless repetition, ego games and stubbornness. I have wondered what about psychedelics made me tune into the experiences they create, one thing being that I'm overflowing with love, another that my limitations dissolve, another that the need for external validation disappears, another being fearlessness, another being transcending shame through self-compassion and understanding, another being the peace of mind that spawns curiosity, another one being the release of trauma and energetic barriers, another one being authenticity, yet another taking responsibility, and at this point its basically just speedrunning the concepts from the titles of all of Leo's videos. But I don't wanna rely on Leo's videos, I want to find out how to get into the state of mind that generates these insights and figure out what its source is, the healthiest configuration, the source of creation and imagination, the peak of kundalini, the state of mind that lets me shed my skin and be reborn and transformed from new energy updating my body from the inside out. I want to access the link between the immaterial and perceived materiality, the feeling of conscious intent when moving a hand, formulating a thought, taking a cold plunge, presence, awareness, energy, transformation.

Just boof up a kilo of 5-Meo and inhale a campfire worth of DMT

@James123 Trying to follow. There's an arising non-dual capital E Experiencing. Within it shapes, ideas, thoughts, a monologue, an understanding, a connecting. A voice and text retroactively classifying, labeling and dividing parts of the Experiencing which is itself part of the Experiencing and a simultaneous arising of a feeling of understanding. A feeling of a self being and influencing aspects of the Experiencing, which is an experience within the Experiencing, "I am doing all this" is a feeling and text that is an arising. But there is only Experiencing and whatever is within it appears to take a shape, but it's always an experience of an automatic process with a sense of agency continuously evolving as part of the Experiencing which itself is nothing more than a non-dual Experiencing containing disconnected parts that appear to form a self-aware gestalt within itself, but it's essentially just Experiencing being. That means there is a self as an experience but no actual experiencer to which the Experiencing happens, right? The experiencing contains a sensation which the feeling of a self coupled with a feeling of identification and understanding relating to the illusion of another self typing and the sensation of a previous self understanding and continuing to read ends up ultimately feeling the sensation of imagining reading "Sorry, overthinking is fun lol" as an experience arising within Experiencing.

Maybe everyone has psychic powers and collective ignorance/gaslight is unconsciously being channeled into the very suppression of those abilities creating a global ceiling through the power of mass belief?

@Someone here All I know is consciousness for I can only know anything by being conscious of it and consciousness itself precedes any experience that arises inside it. The brain is an arising form and idea within consciousness that has a strong, very direct feedback loop with the rest of reality, which itself is another experience within consciousness. It's just that the link is so direct, as if the brain is consciousness self-reflecting, yet it is expanding, yet chemistry may be able to explain that expansion. I just really wonder if the brain changes as a result of conscious experience, with consciousness retroactively adjusting the brain, its physical counterpart, or the mechanical growth of that physical counterpart that is the brain results in the expansion of arising conscious experiences. It feels as if consciousness is inexplicably tied to the brain, if only I could verify conscious experiences existing independently of it, but that always brings me back to the potential of there existing a counterpart in some dimension that through mechanical deterministic laws manipulates the nature of conscious experience and consciousness being a hallucinatory experience not being able to account for such preceding structure. But of course consciousness could be completely immaterial and everything inside being intentfully imagined without needing a physical counterpart at all.

@Schizophonia I remember pretending to take psychedelics in a placebo visualization before sleep then becoming lucid in, closing my eyes still seeing the room, opening and closing them to confirm that I can see with my eyes closed, then closing one eye and seeing the inside of some apartment building through it walking around while I was still seeing my room from the other, then I woke up into another dream of the room with warping colors and then I woke up for real. I think we can actually train or convince ourselves into such experiences or maybe it is simply that we have the ability to control and direct our experiences consciously but since nobody talks about it we didn't know it's possible. I was in a forest on LSD once and chanted, focused and concentrated to the point that within my vision, the tree branches aligned into what looked like a fractal space, a three dimensional grid but that grid was made of weird alien forms like hollow hyper-concave geometry. I was able to replicate this somewhat even when sober by staring at the outlines of tree branches for extended periods of time and on psychedelics the effect is enhanced where it forms an overarching structure shaped like a dome made of connected humanoid poses. There sure is a lot to explore in this regard, but it really takes a lot of focus and dedication on my part so I've deviated away from it...

@Davino I am progressing in that direction, but I always seek to contextualize everything. Non-Duality is a great way to transcend a paradigm, I've also been deep into the Seth Material, but it is a lot. Still, it accounts for all possible contradictions and flashes out the nature of the universe in the most fundamental sense. I do actually have to really awaken to these insights however in my direct experience and to change my actual perception. That the difference between materiality and immateriality is imaginary and everything is consciousness. That my unconscious beliefs are responsible for shaping all aspects of my life. The fact that I identify it as life and me as myself, retroactively enforcing such dualities. But to just give up on that doesn't feel right, instead I'm getting to the root of it, interconnect reality, dissolve barriers, transcend paradigms and find understandings that eliminate contradictions. Maybe that process itself is a problem, but I am letting a lot of karma pass through me and let it go in the process, where there was always a pent up feeling before. Intuitively I know that everything is consciousness, but I'm figuring out what that means and how to navigate, understand and embody this insight.

A person approaches the subject, light reflected off that person enters the subject's eye, turns to brain signals, creates an image, gets contextualized, elicits a reaction, sends brain signals to fascial muscles, makes a reaction face. But from the moment of having a reaction to it being shown through facial expressions, there is a time lag. The external reaction is a mirror of the internal reaction but it is just a manifestation, not the thing itself. The actual conscious emotional experience is not actually observed, just it's shadow. Thinking through that context, where is a person anyway? They're not their body, but their body is an expression of them, a feedback loop that creates their identity. But where's the person, between the eyes, when I look into a mirror, am I between my eyes? No, all I can see of myself is an equally arbitrary content of my experience, everything is inside consciousness. 360 degree, all covered. The observer (if there even is one) is nothing, for anything is an experience, and any experience is not experiencer so there is no room for the experiencer. The experiencer is the experience, but what is the consciousness that ties it all together? Is it nothing? But consciousness is not nothing, yet it is the experience and experiencer. I'm confused, help

@Yimpa Cringe lacks context, I cringe at the videos I recorded, but remembering the perspective and transformation, I understand, still can't bear to look at some of them, I released so much trauma, energy and emotion, that looking at it without context makes me look super crazy cringe. But when I do remember, I just smile.

God gives you autonomy like a good parent. You are also a part of God still unaware of the greater being There are many things that connect you but also separate and distract you, yet it is all parts of God you see What limits you from seeing god are limitations, fear and unconscious beliefs, but also a lack of perception You create your reality and shape your unconscious beliefs, you can only progress through authenticity Do what feels right in your heart, you may not see god but he might speak through you and show himself through signs and the world

I became directly aware of what's you're saying in my last trip, new reality constantly flowing out from inside of myself It seemed like I was transformed every second, acquiring new characteristics while I shed my old skin like a snake Also, God's must be pretty smart to be able to go outside of himself when he's already Infinite

Sadhguru is ecstatic, so it's not the age. Hippies looked pretty happy, so they were made illegal. Is there even a part responsible for that? Sounds like a cultural expression of an innately formless aggressive quality that can be channeled any kind of way, an outward thrusting characteristic that creates a positive momentum for extrinsic action and physical expression that can be channeled towards growth and creativity. It needn't be tied to violence, violence itself is an act of separation and bad faith all too easily propagated however, continuing through lineages like an eye for an eye turning the whole world blind until someone is ready to forgive, since from an understanding of Non-Duality everyone is you, if only everyone was aware of that.

Each month now, I look at the past one and find it insane how much I changed. Recently, I gave up on my greatest desire and neurosis, loneliness, to find someone who I can connect with on a deep emotional level and understanding. I was looking for it for as long as I can remember. I'm an only child and felt very isolated even when I was 5. Throughout my life, this made me very needy but also uniquely appreciative of friendships, but I've suffered each moment I was by myself and it seemed like something that could never be fulfilled, as I'd always seek more of it and would feel doubly terrible when disconnected. But now I let go of that external desire during my last trip, it was painful, sad, angry, I projected a part outside of myself into the world to be united with, I yearned to turn the suffering into ecstasy at the reunion, yearned for a soul mate. To integrate that part back into myself and surrender that massive energy felt like giving up, like sunk cost. But then I felt free, empty, content. It had been an endless desire I could continuously appreciate and suffer for eternity but would never fulfil since the mere presence of such a person would make me joyful, but any even temporary disconnection miserable. I realized the pattern of externalizing desires in form of projection and in the act of disconnection depriving oneself of joy. I realized the pattern of suppressing childhood trauma and looking for ways to cope with it. I realized the rigidness, stiffness, energy blocks that arose from creating a sense of separation. Inherently, I don't even see the action of projection and reflection as a negative, for a child it is the sense of play, throwing a boomerang, externalize a piece of oneself, observe it, modify it and reintegrate it into the whole. But the way one goes about this and the belief in the absoluteness and objectivity of such action not being an internal projection but an inherent separation and true reality is what creates massive suffering, that lets people project their desires onto reality and chase them outwardly all their life, becoming insecure, fearful, aggressive and addicted, discontent, miserable. Now that I identify it as the frontier of meaningful action, to recollect and reintegrate all parts of myself that I project outwards internally by becoming aware of the illusion of separation and arbitrariness of desire, I seek to surrender. Desires are arbitrary, I could imagine wanting to be an astronaut going to mars and I it's something I could act upon but in reality I may not be capable of it. I may want to grow wings and fly, but I don't see that happening. There are simply goals and desires too large to fulfil, or what if I wanna murder everyone, impulses that just aren't realistic enough or even desirable enough to be actualized externally. And because there is at least one thing that I can't do and one can be happy despite that, may as well expand that paradigm to include all desires and find contentment. This all of course is overcoming trauma and doing shadow work but I can already imagine finishing that process at some point and why not progress steadily to the next paradigm. What comes after surrender of all desires and the built up skill to dismiss them as they are? I would become nothing but unless that makes me dematerialize from this world, I'll still be existing here. If I change my paradigm from fearing unconscious separation and conditioning my happiness on external action, then what's next? Sure, I can become a monk, but that sounds kind of boring. Boringness might be a projection of unintegrated parts distracting me or maybe its a natural healthy state of a lack of trauma that leads one into a positive abundance paradigm of creating a life purpose. I do have a life purpose, but I want to free myself of the need of it and instead do it from a paradigm of boredom, passion and maximum present focus. But then I might be missing lots of insights, paradigms and spiritual concepts that limit my current perspective, so then that's what the post is about: Expand my mind

@r0ckyreed Contemplation is great but it's like combining various ideas, while meditation is opening yourself up to new ones and going beyond the mind into the realm of pure experience. Not to say that I have experience with that, I've been too impatient to even start, but now I will. I wonder if it can get you anywhere near psychedelics. Also a way to compare them is like chugging energy drinks to get things done vs receiving a massage.

@Ramanujan First of all, don't buy into the loser-winner paradigm, it doesn't serve anyone. Those who identify as losers don't take action and waste their energy complaining, self-sabotaging and creating an unpleasant limited life for themselves while those who identify as winners have to constantly stress themselves about maintaining status and becoming workaholic, narrowing their experience and appreciation of life in the process. Secondly, use books as guides, don't worship them like gods and do actively incorporate their lessons mindfully, but don't limit yourself to any single narrow perspective for too long. Whatever you do, go through feedback to make sure it works out. It's just concepts, you decide what makes sense and test if it does, identify diminishing returns and question everything. Thirdly, if coding is your passion, then why aren't you excited to start your life now? You should be exhilarated to have found something you find enjoyment in, most people waste 1/3 of their lives hating their job, 10 years even if overwhelming is still better in comparison to that. Especially since you can now enjoy it. Also, don't worry about the future, Singularity will hit us 2050 at the latest and then none of us will care about any jobs anymore. Last but not least, why do you want to be rich, can you visualize the things you would buy, cars you would drive, places you would travel, houses you would own, what is it you want to spend it on. Please tell me it's not solely to show off or prove yourself. If you can visualize all these things that money would get you and are enthusiastic about them, then you just start exercising your imagination and that will fuel you to start doing. Also, you don't have to be rich to do many of these things and oftentimes we create our own limitations when there are many opportunities. Be clear about what you want. Also, for every millionaire that makes it, there are 10.000 that don't. It's a pyramid scheme, you better have plans on transforming reality if you're aiming that high.

Regarding the nature of reality including objectivity and subjectivity, I find myself learning much from Seth and finding much confirmation in my psychedelic experiences. It doesn't contradict Leo either, and also feels like the kind of reality I would create if I tried to have the best of all worlds and go really into depth and create the most complete and limitless version of the universe and explain all that I know of. One might be able to claim confirmation bias, but all I read is mind expanding in its nature of potentiality and that bias can be applied to anyone and anything irregardless of circumstance, especially through the concept of unconscious beliefs. I'm still integrating insights from Seth. The idea there is that all of reality is made of units of consciousness scaling infinitely across all dimensions, coming together to form a reality. They form gestalts as you and me, there are alternate potential and probable selves also distinguished by frequency, intent, imagined past and choices but there is no real self, just seeming ever morphing gestalts operating in tendon to create coherent desired experiences forming consciously or unconsciously through desires and beliefs, ever expanding portions of reality that become coherent on their own and become their own gestalts, with every part its own holistic portion, never at risk of disappearance but ever freely morphing into new shapes and forms expressing and changing identity. According to Seth, consciousness seeking out actuality through its beliefs and self-knowledge alternates between different dimensions of actuality, there are multiple versions of ourselves and they all morph into congruent realities creating them in the process of merging with other conscious selves congruent with the identity of such actuality. Here's some quotes: "No objective reality exists but that which is created by consciousness, consciousness always creates form and not the other way around, so my environment is a reality of existence and created by myself and others like me and it represents the manifestation of our development [...] You think that objects exist independently of you, not realizing they are instead the manifestations of your own psychological and psychic selves [...] you usually don't realize that your physical body is created by you at each moment as a direct result of your inner conception of what you are or that it changes in important chemical and electromagnetic ways with the ever moving pace of your own thought [...] there are no real barriers to separate the systems of which I speak, the only separation is brought about by the varying abilities of personalities to perceive and manipulate, you exist in the midst of many other systems of reality for example but you do not perceive them" "There is no static god, when you say: 'this is god", then god is already something else, I'm using the term god for simplicity's sake, all portions of All That Is are constantly changing, unfolding. All That Is, seeking to know itself, constantly creates new versions of itself, for this seeking itself is a creative activity and the core of all creation. Entities being action always shift and change, there is nothing arbitrary about their boundaries. Some personalities can be apart of more than one entity, like fish, they can swim in other streams, within them is the knowledge of all their relationships. Any personality can become an entity on its own, this involves highly developed knowledge of the use of energy and its intensities. As atoms have mobility, so do psychological structures. Consciousness seeking to know itself therefore knows you. You, as a consciousness, seek to know yourself and become aware of yourself as a distinct individual portion of All That Is. You not only draw upon this overall energy but you do so automatically, since your existence is dependent upon it" "The responsibility for your life and your world is indeed yours, it has not been forced upon you by some outside agency, you form your dreams and you form your own physical reality. The world is what you are, it is the physical materialization of the inner selves that have formed it." TLDR; The idea is that there is an underlying Entity that gives rise to conscious entities within it that themselves form subjective realities through self-discovery and can tune themselves into communication with each others to give rise to a consensus space which only exists as a result of their interaction. There is an absolute reality giving rise to them, a subjective reality encompassing the entirety of their local experience and a consensus reality which is the result of overlapping subjective experiences but does not exist independently. That framework is very complex and I believe to have heard that everything is made from consciousness including the smallest particles, but the gist is that the world is transient and only exists while conscious agents actively create in within their (shared) consciousness, only our experience exists and the world disappears when we aren't tuned to it, at the same time it is an eternal idea we can always chose to tune ourselves into because everything is a mental construction, a vibration and space but also created in the process and everything potentially possible exists eternally as an idea or memory or imagination, so what reality really is, is conscious entities imagining a specific dimension of reality into existence or dreaming it up using their internal senses, to find/create/discover that part of themselves. It's a lot to take in, I know, there are dozens of hours of audiobooks on YouTube and I'm listening to all of them. It really accounts for all kinds of conscious phenomena and gives a comprehensive understanding of all of reality that unites every contradiction one could possibly conjure up, you really have to hear it for yourself.