Keryo Koffa

Inner Self I've been learning lots about psychology and neural networks lately, and when I think about relating various topics and ideas, I can sort of imagine various gestalts, and it kind of bridges what I'd call a system of holons infused with ideas from IFS, that when I do something, like for example doing a math equation, it's sort of like I'm interacting with a deeper holon in my mind that has learned the distinctions and patterns of that operation and I can sort of visualize different operations as units or forms. And then I can sort of see different types of interplays like visualizing the concept of letters as a sphere and the individual ones as smaller ones orbiting it, and it's like a 3d environment that can change and dynamically rearrange itself or be filtered by different patterns. And then I can imagine other fields that I'm interacting with like forming sentences or thinking about math or language into interactive complexes, where there is an organizing force that arranges them into structures that make sense, and I can visualize that like the many videos about brain chemistry I've seen with neurons and axions and firing patterns. And it's pretty interesting to visualize these operations and it feels like an inner environment I can look into, modify, expand, optimize, or add to, similar to how there are highly modular apps like blender, within which all these interactions can be categorized. It feels like I'm accessing an inner space that models the world and creates my perception based on the sense data I receive, which manifests itself as the environment that I live in, like that inner and outer is highly interconnected, like it's all encoded and stored somewhere and there's a bridge between all the experiences I have and operate under and that inner space that so intuitively translates everything into the reality I perceive physically, like a highly related flip or shadow side, where the outwardly perceived and received world inflects into the inner systems of understanding, relating and connecting and is in a constant feedback loop with, as one flows into the other. Like neurons mapping patterns, although I wonder how it's encoded but I see these two spaces, and they are more similar than not, a high quality visualization that reflects the quality of the sensual outer with the knowledge, pattern recognition, navigation, and intuition of the inner. — From Keryo's Conversations with GPT

Why does one feel bad? Spill what's on your heart, Keryo! Go all the way. There are feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment for what I've done or didn't do, should do or shouldn't do, can do or can't do. For what I should be capable of, for not living up to expectations, mine or others, not being able to come up with things to say or do. Jinx. The reluctance to engage in activities, change one's environment, make new connections or friends. There is the fear of messing up, of not being good enough, of not being able to fulfill expectations, to be left behind, not being able to contribute or add anything to the group or environment one is apart of. There is the feeling of being overwhelmed, of being incapacitated, of having one's perception blurred, of stumbling, being clumsy, awkward, not being able to vibe with the group, to feel apart, isolated, incongruent. To make things worse, to not be accepted, to be shunned, laughed at, made fun of, and on top of that, all of it being justified by one's own incompetence. Not being up to the task, falling behind, feeling alienated, abandoned. Or even worse, to see the beauty in the interactions and seeing oneself as the only flaw, the broken piece, missing link, dragging everyone down, and being a net negative. There is the fear of not being able to survive on one's own. There is additionally a sense of shame, guilt, cringe, and embarrassment of failing at the easy parts, of not being capable of doing basic things, messing up what is trivial to "everyone else". There is a desire to disconnect, to isolate oneself, to not be a burden, to not "drag others down". And there is a fear that by oneself, one cannot survive. That one is at the mercy of existence and everything is getting worse and falling apart. That life is only going to spiral down and everything loved will be lost. There is the fear of losing everything once cherished. Of being separated from one's most meaningful memories and experiences, losing one's identity, one's love for others, one's longed for desires. There is a fear of falling into a limbo, neither alive nor dead, but be eternally damned to repeat the same loops, never improving, growing, progressing, getting better, stagnating, worsening, disintegrating, vanishing. There is the fear of suffering, being in pain. There is the fear of turning into a monster, amalgam, inhuman, robot, losing coherence, losing meaning, not being able to distinguish anything. There is the fear that there is nothing, that at the end of one's life, everything vanishes forever. There is the fear of forever repeating the worst parts and feelings of life and being stuck in them as the only option next to death. There is the source of discomfort, by which all is measured against.

To feel alive, you must let yourself flow like water with the movement of the air and your body. The body is a complex alive network expressing itself in a gestalt, all cells resonate and cooperate in the emergence of a unified experience, as consciousness moves and changes, resonating with its environment, that it also creates and structures, pulling out of the infinite bed of possibilities, patterns and frequencies to tune itself into, in order to come alive in a relational reality, where all these overlapping frequencies form interactive objects of various properties. Consciousness assumes various forms and sensations, tuning itself into many dimensions of reality and forming a lens body of qualia, to rest within and explore its own infinity through. The experience constantly changes, alternates, synchronizes with the larger reality, that we call imagination. It tunes itself into and becomes apart of physical reality, gaining mass and momentum and tangling itself with the world it perceives into existence, whose patterns continue in an infinite possibility space. Time is a construct, which structures and synchronizes experience, perception, the field of actuality, that is willfully filtered out of countless interactive patterns, through which the individual form grows. Relationships emerge, patterns solidify, beliefs shape psychology, which rejuvenates physiology. The psyche encodes and outsources its many dimensions into subconscious cellular structures conforming to patterns, telepathically and electromagnetically synchronized forms of cooperative consciousness, filtering and interacting with the world it believes itself into living within. These structures carry weight, momentum, and add to the value fulfillment of all consciousness, as infinity shapes itself into solidified form with tangible value, risks and opportunities. Units and waves collapse and merge in and out of each other to form the framework and ground of reality. Structures expand and explore their own potential for experience and self-expression. Neurons link one to the other, transmitting intent and forming matter. They move, communicate and evolve to fill their roles, which are psychically imbued from above, the overall emerging gestalt, structuring itself on various levels and dimensions below. Inner forms outer, there is a gradient of dissipation like osmosis, that separates and intensifies portions into vantage points, units, compartments, specialized classes and networks of interactions, to efficiently navigate and coordinate the medium of the body in the sphere of externalized reality's influence acting upon it, but really expanding its scope and giving it form and opportunity to elevate its creativity in the perpetual balance of homeostatic dynamicism. There is a flux of form, shape, contour, gestalt, an interplay of patterns, language, forces, qualia. Consciousness spins its reality, keeping track of and synchronizing itself with various emotions, ideas and intents. Consciousness forms matter, it is not the other way around, matter however is consciousness and conscious, a weight imbued pattern of energy. Energy is a freer way to see matter, an array of various interactive forces expressing and impressing pressure and properties onto each other. These properties of various pressures synchronize and interact, coalescing into gestalts that we signify with symbols for the underlying concepts, perceived ratios between forms of qualia, forming fields of influences in rhythms, whose repetitions we assume and codify into scientific constants, then compare the intuitive symbolic map with the reality from which it was inferred and extracted, to form an inner filter to compare this pattern against others and emerge newer ratios, to create systems of dynamic interactive variables through. Variables, a perhaps complicating sounding word, really just denotes scalable qualities. Qualia and Quanta are entangled and spiral as DNA, expressing various relationships, among others in spacial dimensions. Geometry underlies reality in the ratios of relationships units form in response to each other, emerging related patterns in a visualized coordinated relational space we perceive through sight.

Absolutely agree. I had my manic phase not too long ago. This place is a community to cherish, we all have our own lives to live and paths to walk. Arguing about conceptual details gets kinda old 😅 Still a great place to come by every now and then though.

I'm grateful for the mention 🧡 I agree it's best not to become overly attached or fixated on any particular teacher or forum, including Actualized.org. Treat the world as your reflection and canvas to grow through creative self-expression.

Ah... Love = ∞ + @Keryo Koffa 🧡 I understand @Jehovah increases Neuromorphology, y'alll

Wait, it's all Love? Always has been!

I'm always up for quick edits though

😁

I like that. It's to look at the intent behind the pursuit that projects a need outward.

[ SHOGO SHIRASAKI ] "I feel the metamorphosis of my physical body, the transmutation of my psyche." "The transmutation appears clear within my vision, and the world both glimmers and falls into shadow." "The endlessly continuing world is simultaneously finished there." ( shivers ) "And just like that bottle, the world is simultaneously front and back, where the surface and the symbolism intertwine..." RENÉE OF THE WINTER WIND HELL OF THORNS "...strange color, can't put into words..." KOKO'S MAPLE LEAVES "...but is instantly recognizable." "These were a few of the things I realized on my way to hell." "In other words, hell is the entrance to heaven, and heaven the entrance to hell." "Symbolism and symbiosis."