Salaam

Yup I've got tiers of interconnected elements that make up all the things I'm trying to balance at the same time (because their all going on at the same time). Each element is foundational and compresses massive amounts of information into a single chain of inter-relations. There are 12 of those elements that are then connected to 5 larger meta elements that then form an axis with my personal code of 5 actions that then connects to the 3 foundational elements of reality (in my view). I can call it up like a visual superstructure anytime I want and move all over its rooms and floors. Accessing the abilities tied with each room that then filters through my code in how I act. So how I act protects the integrity and fidelity of the things most precious to me. /-/-/ #=#=#=#=# |~|~|~|~| $x$x$x$x$x$x$x$x$x$x$x$ i love compressing information into symbols and drawings because it gives you so much flexibility with meta organization. Plus it's kind of cool knowing your the only one who gets what's really behind all those symbols. My notebook looks like it's written in code.

No there definitely is stuff to be shit scared about. I've experienced both euphoria beyond imagination and insane level pain and stress that nothing in normal life can compare to and that's coming from someone who has been in prison and had guns pressed to their head, plus many, many other extremely stressful things. Shit, just connecting with my pituitary gland, gave me visions of horror beyond imagination, but I didn't mind that much at all. Not compared to the insane level scarcity environments I've touched. Luckily for normal people, their not capable enough to access either poles of that intensity. Well lucky isn't really the word, because those environments serve a purpose. I'm thankful for both sides of experience and that's knowing I'll eventually have to return to them.

@ChimpBrain Exactly, there is a huge difference between having an emotional "experience" and actually changing and improving who you are at a base level, that gives you an expansion of practical application. I can create bliss and euphoria all I want, but I don't use that to gauge progress. It's about how have you changed when your calm and back to base-line and is that change progressive? What's been added on to who you are? Has your sensitivity changed? Can you hold more dimensions within your focus? Has your pacing changed? How have the structures inside you shifted (once you're sensitive enough to even feel such things)? How has your resiliency improved? Changes in Health, Connection, Capability, Expression, and Choice. Not how "high" you're getting in a single moment.

@Fitness Model I want to take the time to answer you properly so I'll get to your questions soon but in the mean time, here's a little something I wrote for some other people relating to seduction. And also, just call me Salaam or David, the master stuff is for the bedroom we're equals here. ------------------------ On a fundamental level what makes a story? It has to have at least three parts right? What some would call a beginning, a middle, and an end, but for the purposes of pleasure we'll call them something different in a second. But, first an exercise. On the tip your finger there is a stretch of skin between your fingernail and the pad of your finger that feels softer and less "grippy" than the pad of your actual finger tip. Take that spot and trail it gently across the skin of the wrist of your inner arm. Draw slow looping lines with your finger up your inner arm, to your outer arm, and then back in again, cycling slowly from the feel of inner skin to outer as you make your way toward the crease in the pit of your elbow where it bends inward. As you get to that crease, slooooow down and draw out the sensation and tension that occurs as you trail along the edge of that crease, without actually breaking the crease and touching the center of that soft skin at the pit. Instead, slowly draw your finger down the edges of that crease to the soft skin past your elbow and along the inner arm towards your arm-pit. Notice how the feelings change as you cycle through the different kinds of skin and how they build upon each other like a story. How you can create an open-loop, that builds and builds if you loop back and run along the edges of the crease in your elbow pit, increasing tension. What this is about is learning to differentiate between the skins sensitivity types and how you can then stack those differences to create an experience. 1. Skin along the inner arms, thighs, etc. 2. skin along the outer arms, thighs, etc. 3. Skin along the folds and creases of the body like the back of the knees and elbows, crease of the neck, clitoris, nipples, penis, inside the vagina (g-spot), etc. (notice how the most sensitive parts of us are hidden in the creases and corners of our body. Like how the penis and clit actually have specialized ways of retracting and hiding) If those three types are the elements of pleasure, then: #1 introduces the pleasure (beginning of the story or chapter) #2 grounds and contrasts the initial pleasure (middle) #3 is the climax that you edge along, building tension and anticipation (climax or end) So if we made it like music or a rhyme scheme, the exercise above would have a rhythm of 1,2,1,2,1,2,threee,1,2,1,2,threeeeeeeee,1,2,1,2, 3 ad infinitum (HOWEVER, you can and should switch this up with different tempos and pacing. Make it yours!) What we did with the arm, you can do with many other parts of the body, like the neck or lips. The lips actually have 3 very subtly different kinds of skin as well, and as you kiss you can cycle between the different parts of the lips brushing against each other and build tension. Further, much like a book can cycle between characters as it goes from chapter to chapter, a seducer can cycle between different body parts, leaving open loops of pleasure and tension that increases each time you return back to the character/body part you had previously left on a cliffhanger. In effect, with the understanding above, you can leave every part of his or her body a tingling open-loop cliff-hanger of a story aching for that final tipping over the edge into climax. Plus, each area on the body has different intensities of sensation for their respective 1,2, and 3 parts. The difference between a woman's arm and her vagina for example. But, make no mistake playing with this pattern just on the arm can be enough to bring your partner amazing pleasure, especially when you add different things like a bit of pain to the mix (biting the inner wrist just as the pleasure edges, which adds a new dimension to the story, especially when it's unexpected). But, what I gave you above is just the bones of the story. The flavor and energy of the story comes from your intent to touch and the emotion behind it and the overall cohesion of the "story" depends on your ability to keep a rhythm. Think back on the emotional space you were in when you first tried my exercise. What happens if you slowly breathe and relax and fill yourself with feelings of sex and pleasure? How does that change the experience of the exercise? So, with the above, you've now got the bones of understanding, but authenticity, spirit, enjoyment, and rhythm will be the rest you need to really make your story sing. It's great to know the structure, but the emotions and meaning of what you're expressing will be your truest guide. Without it, this will come across as mechanical, and that's not fun. Make it juicy with how you feel and what it means to you. I hope this helps some of you all. It's a joy to have the freedom and ability so that every touch can have a story and an identity. It changes your touch from some one or two-dimensional thing, to something more that builds, which can help us all express the desires we wish to share. --------------------------- (These are some additional comments from me and and another guy that came up when I posted my touch thing on a seduction forum) (Ijji) Great! Exactly the type of post I wish there was more of!! These are just the type of details I too think in terms of, when it comes to kino. Sadly, most guys seem to lack similar level of mindfulness, so there was rarely much discussion following this type of posts in the past. But that wont be the case if I have a say! So here are my immediate 'argumentative' thoughts: -Why so liberal with your 3s? -Part about slowing down (tempo) is very important imo. I would emphasize it even a bit more than you did. -Rhythm is great in itself, but also because it facilitates 'breaking the pattern'. -The 'Weak 2 > Strong 2/3' insertion. (Its actually another type of 'slowing down' and it is amazing!) I will probably elaborate/ add more thoughts later. Hopefully others will chime in too! (Me) Nice and thanks ijji! I hope you do add more later, I wanted to introduce this as like looking at the bones or structure of how people approach kino on a basic level and then building and enhancing upon it with different styles and added dimensions. -The liberal 3 thing was an attempt to illustrate drawing out the 3. So threeeeeeee, instead of 3,3,3,3,3 if that's what you mean. -True, slowness increases signal/attention... fidelity -Yup, breaking the pattern like a "beat-drop" creates a vacuum/gap (restrain -> contrast -> vacuum). Lol, I can't believe I forgot to add that part. -Ah, nice man true. There are so many wrinkles a person can add to this to differentiate and inter-play the contrasting feels. Any more like that you can think of or elaborate on would be cool. Hidden vs Not, Weak vs Strong, Flow vs Gap, Pleasure vs Pain, etc. so many contrasts that really shine once you combine and layer them together. Often times a paradox only seems that way, because a person is looking to choose one over the other, rather than combine them. (Ijji) Sorry for delay! Had a micro flu or something. Defining a sacred taboo zone, and then TIPTOEING ON THE BORDER of that zone, is another way of verbalizing this in my opinion! You can define the zone to be anything you want. Even something like all her skin! Its all about that border tiptoeing, conveying to her where a 'barrier' has been met. The 'magic' happens when she starts to physically sense that barrier (something the brain does automatically, creating a slight sensory input for things it knows MUST be there, based on the sum of other inputs.) In terms of telling a story, what comes next is that you dont just cross that border. You make an EVENT out of it. I want to talk about how tempo and vector are the main signals for all this, but Im very sleepy now. (Me) Yea, that sacred taboo zone is another example of an Edge. Playing with the degrees between social propriety and taboo is a great way to be provocative and seen as having an edge without having to dip into black triangle traits (those traits are the extra stuff that shroud how to do provocative right. People get distracted by those traits cause not too many know how to be provocative with the attractiveness they naturally have). Playing with the edges of social propriety/taboo, like when it comes to proximity for instance, and of course touch and grip, and many other things... it's super dynamic. Another edge is Mystery. How much you will or won't tell about yourself, or places you will or won't allow a person, whether we're talking about a place inside yourself, or a place in your house for instance... if it's tantalizing, people will want to know what's around that bend that their being restrained from seeing. The "make an event out of it" is where I start thinking about IMPACT/Penetration. The level of Impact of that crossing of the border plays a big part in the level of impression or degree of internalization a person has of the experience (this is a wide topic however and for it's range to include an indelible impression on a person's memory the level of meaning involved with the Impact Event must also be considered). I feel like in a lot of ways... Sex is a vehicle for Imprinting or creating an Internalization in another person. From biologically speaking as far as having a baby, to emotional bonding, and other things like affecting the chemistry of pleasure between you and another person. Anyways, one thing I want to talk about is Restraint. I feel like Restraint is one of the key facets in tempo (degree of restraint plays a key part in what slows something down or creates a gap. It creates a space for more things to fill, which is why slowing down increases the coherency and richness of an experience... more space allows for more diversity and greater diversity enriches an experience if they connect and inter-relate in a stimulating way). But, also Restraint, is one of the key facets of Dominance. Restraint has an internal and an external facet, as well as edges of provocation. Self-restraint is it's internal manifestation of course and it's edge of provocation is the edge of change between self-restraint and suppression. In other words you want to lightly restrain yourself with sort of "soft" hands/strong base, rather than hold on too tightly and suppress yourself. Working on lightly restraining yourself at all times on all things is actually a really great way to learn where you hold yourself too tightly and where you let go too loosely, causing diffusion (cumming too early is an example of diffusion). So the internal spectrum is Diffusion <---> Restraint <---> Suppression and the sweet spot is playing along that middle ground or balance point and it's edges of provocation that are the tipping points into diffusion and suppression. Cutting loose... but not too much and buckling down... but not too much. It's pretty much the same with it's external manifestation. Too much external restraint is Oppressive and too little is... something... Formlessness? Lacking Leadership? So it could look like Formlessness <---> Restraint <---> Oppression. Even a hug for instance has an element of external restraint, as does a handshake, all the way to things like choking during sex or bondage type stuff. And it's not just about grip, but weight and pressure, like the pleasure a woman feels with the weight of her man on top of her (unless it's too heavy and becomes oppressive) but also the heaviness of a woman's breasts and how that can be attractive or not and how it signals things. So yea... Restraint is a much more deeper topic than people might realize, especially once they get past all the emotional hype or whatever that gets bundles up with the word Dominance. I use it on the dance floor to create muscle tension pleasures... what you call Body Syrup I think. Dancing slower than the music would initially have me do if I lacked self-restraint so the energy in my body doesn't diffuse, but instead builds creating that pleasurable tension that feels great on the inside and contrasts in an attractive way to those viewing me from the outside. Oh and another thing regarding barriers... did you know that there are certain feelings that only arise when there is a resistance to something? Just like there are only certain feelings that arise when you are risking something or being vulnerable? (Ijji) i promised a post about first touch vs my non escalation mantra. the edge concept here, could really help me explain it better. ill sleep on it though, cos its hard to explain, but will try. EDit: Transition from no to touch, is best done in a strong cause-effect chain. Like saying her jacket looks really soft. A more 'meaningful' touch should build up as an edge, before happening. This is what is meant by "Escalate the vibe, not the physical actions." ------------------------------------------- How to have a "Mona Lisa" Style Smile or Hidden Smile In my experience this manifests from containment and having things built within that containment. When a man's created things for himself, a way of understanding and viewing the world, lines of directions from varied pursuits, he knows what it's like to see and feel things that have personal meaning, primarily just for him. So you know what it's like to share a moment for yourself. You walk by and see a girl flash a bit of femininity that sparks a memory of past intimacy and you "hidden smile" to yourself and glow a bit. People can sometimes feel when a person is sharing something worthwhile with themselves and especially if it's somewhat related to them, they'll be curious and "want in" or be attracted to sharing in that feeling as well. It happens with my girl often. I'll look up from working on something and see her being all cute and adorable and smile to myself, and it'll catch her attention and she'll come "peek-in" or nuzzle up to me and we'll love on each other. It's awesome. It happens all the time with normal girls too, because I've got a lot going on inside me and sometimes the cool things I'm feeling or contemplating "leak out" and catch their attention. It's a small thing though. A little bit of sharing and minor captivation, I guess. (And add-on for the same topic by my friend Cosy [there is no one in the world who understands sexual tension like him. He writes articles and books himself as well http://www.girlschase.com/content/make-her-feel-woman Depends on the guy For example, Some shy guys have a wry smile naturally but its not the same And some bold guys do a cheek lift and it has the right kind of effect To develop is best like Sal said, inner nostalgia, and a sensing of something nice You could practice while savoring a coffee or anything nice, like while reading, or watching a comedy That kinda stuff Cats do it a looooot

@Lha Bho some pretty disappointing answers so far huh? Pretty much everyone's answer here was all focused on one narrow thing, usually revolving around some sort of comfort. I want to be happy, I want to feel bliss, I want to feel like everything is a game and I don't have to risk or feel any more stress. I wanted to be connected and consumed by some fantasy land collective being, so I don't have to worry about anything any more and just float along in cosmic bliss. It's like, everyone wants to go back to being coddled like a fucking baby. Ha, fuck that. The happiness and the bliss and not wanting to suffer anymore, I completely get that and I've achieved that. I can feel bliss and happiness whenever I want and I never suffer anymore, because I'm never a victim. Bliss is kind of boring to me by itself actually, but it's a useful feeling to add into myself when I'm resting. But, the real shit is in what you build and create and discover for yourself and then give to who you choose. Your presence, your core, your soul, whatever you want to call it grows. You get to choose what you add on to it while also gaining and expanding other abilities. You can feel more deeper things than anyone can imagine, your stronger and pain and stress isn't as big of a deal, so you can choose to reach and process depths of yourself that require very strenuous undertakings. Your reflexes are faster, you can slow down your perception of time, you understand the elements of learning and can learn whatever you choose. You gain way more capability with your body and have many more things besides the mind to interface with. You gain whole new sets of sensations and skills that you use in parallel with your emotions. Passion and motivation are yours to cultivate as you choose and you have the strength to build it from the scarcest of environments. You build you own world, own beliefs, manage your own ignorance and limitations. and every step you take shows you more and more of what the world really is and how it's all up to you, to build something worthwhile for yourself. No one will save you or do it for you, but you don't need them to, because you've grown into this titan of a person who can handle it and build an oasis in the wasteland. It's about getting good at life. Nature is both brutal and beautiful and the side of nature your on, comes down to how the quality of this you that you've built can handle the rigors of brutality and savor the mysterious nature of it's beauty. Bridging both extremes and everything in between, so you pick and choose how to create the best of all worlds. Fuck a passive life. Every single fiber of my being is involved in creation now. I get to evolve based on my own design and it's my favorite fucking thing to do.

Enlightenment is one-dimensional kiddie shit. The real stuff is much richer and multi-dynamic, where nuanced balanced can be found that synergizes and lifts the quality and depth of all healthy things. In other words, when you really grow, love becomes deeper and richer, because you can care for it more and help it flourish. You're not focused on this beats this or that, you understand how they work together. My growth helps me be more than I ever thought I could be, which helps me love more than I ever could have imagined, which adds that quality to my sex and deep rich sexuality, so my orgasms are more connective with my partner and also deeper and more meaningful than I could have ever dreamed of. "This is better than that" is the replacement game, that people play when they don't have the courage and care to slow down and understand that instead of replacing we can do better and build so everything works together.

@Natasha Lol, come on, many women are sex nerds. They talk about all the intimate details with their friends. That post of hers created an awesome discussion with many different people chiming in. Many of whom knew what it was like to go through similar things in their past and gained hope and inspiration from her successes. Maybe you should read up on how some women who have been abused go through periods of hiding their body with bulky and black clothes, disconnecting from their sexuality. It's a big thing for them to see a kindred spirit be able to bask again in their natural femininity and sexual expression. I get it, it is your opinion. I don't have a problem with that. What I don't like is how you tried to push that opinion onto my Wife's expression of something beautiful and self-empowering. You're similar to the baptists down south, trying to shame people into conformity. There are girls that have been molested by deacons and when they try to tell someone about it, they are shamed into silence and conformity as well, all for the sake of some ignorant, righteous view. I'm not going to allow anyone to shame my wife on some side-shit. And don't even try to tell me that wasn't your intention. See, on facebook they give you the option to choose who you share it with. It can be public, or some unique mixture of private. Why are you assuming it was a public post? It wasn't. You should have asked me about that first in a private message, before derailing this thread. Also, you talk about transcend? Do you even understand the role validation has in our bodies? Do you understand that humans will always have a self-referencing mechanism, because it is a system that learns through contrast and association with things outside (and inside) it's physical boundaries? Every single memory, belief, view, etc. is internalized and maintained and shifted along deeper or shallower degrees of internalization via validation. When you eat something good for you and get a healthy feeling from your body, that is a form of validation. You have a wide spectrum of internal and external flavors of validation. It is not validation itself that is ever the problem, it is the CONTEXT of what is being validated and consequently internalized. That is a physical reality, no matter what religion or philosophy you ascribe to. I know this because my awareness is faster, deeper, and more sensitive than any of your damn gurus. I can feel and track it in my body and if other people spent the time I have they'd be just as capable. Anyways, if you want to respond to this, please send me a private message. I don't want to clutter up this thread with an off-topic discussion.

And wow right back at you. Project much? We're not a part of that weird "kill the ego" cult. Fuck that nonsense. My wife is a shaman, healer, counselor, ordained minister, and survivor of child hood sexual abuse and trauma. She's done A LOT of work on herself and with me to be able to enjoy her sexuality in ways she's never experienced before. She deserves to be able to share in that enjoyment and celebrate in whatever medium she chooses. Plus, it's clear that wasn't a "look at me" post about some shallow shit. But one of sharing and discussing energetic experiences, that is relevant to a lot of our other friends who happen to work on the same stuff. I mean jeez, the woman is sharing an experience where she felt like she got a piece of her soul back and the only thing you can come up with is this shit? Ha... funnily enough, Eckhart Tolle liked one of my Wife's pictures on instagram a couple weeks ago. It's kind of ironic, given your video selection.

Ugh, reading what he said to you while you were pregnant makes me want to punch him in the mouth. Your guy sounds like he has an immature and stunted sexuality. So many guys suck with handling sex. They don't know how to protect and cultivate it's health within them. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that shit, while in such a vulnerable state. He doesn't even realize that the baby feels those things just as much as you do. That pisses me off on so many levels.

Awww, you're a sweetheart. Thank you so much, it's a pleasure to be of whatever help I can for you. I know what it's like to re-connect and nurture sexuality back into it's vibrancy and fire, so I can empathize from both sides, the struggle and the success. Judging from the emotions I feel in your words, I have hope that you already carry the most precious piece needed to start healing this side of yourself and that's caring about it. Caring is a humble little thing, but in all the many challenges I've learned from and faced, it's served me as the best of foundations. Caring even when it sucks and it hurts and the feelings you want are scarce. So many people give up or settle when in that scarcity space or distract themselves with something new, but you're taking it on and trying to do something about it. In my experience, that care is the seed from which passion and motivation for all things, springs from... if we didn't care we wouldn't stay connected with it, we'd discard it or forget about it, you know? But some things are precious and worth the struggle. I wish you the best with this and hope your partner will be inspired by your efforts and share in this together with you. So, how does this all come about? Well, it's actually very much like your passion for fitness in a way. I'm sure you often have people asking you what's your secret or how did you get to where you are in fitness. The people who are asking those questions are sometimes looking for a quick fix, but some genuinely care about fitness and want to make it part of their lifestyle, like you do. In fact, not only is it an integral part of your lifestyle it is also something you seem to identify with, considering your forum name. Seduction is much the same, it is not just a set of techniques or abilities, but an integral part of a person's health and lifestyle. It's something a person eventually feels inside themselves and identifies with. It "leaks" out of you and colors communication when attraction is present. But, also like fitness, this life style isn't created in a single moment, it is built over time and there is a learning curve or adaptation process. Just like in physical fitness, there is a tensile fitness or tensile resiliency that develops with consistent exposure. And just like with working out, there is a process of developing that mind-muscle connection and building muscle memory as well as muscle maturity. All of these facets have mirrored principles in seduction. Do you know what it's like be in a "bubble" with another? Those moments where nothing else exists but you and the other person. That's what I mean by captivation. It's when something captivates to such a degree that for a brief moment or more, nothing else exists. It can happen with people, it can happen with music or with things in nature, like a beautiful sunrise, or even the smell of something precious to you, that fills you with nostalgia. In each of those moments, you are pulled from the drab, habitual cycle of thoughts, and focused on this vibrant experience, filling your senses with emotion and anticipation, while also connecting you in this sharing with so many details and energies. Tension is what creates that captivation and how a person handles that tension and expresses themselves within it, determines how long these moments last and whether or not they build and carry over into another moment and then another, till it simmers in the background, gathering in force. It is a thing of nature, so rather than control it, you work with it as it comes and goes, protecting it's spontaneity and natural or accidental involvement. Controlling yourself, rather than controlling it, so you can handle it's pull without indulging too soon and being patient as it builds. Learning a bit more then the time before, till after many years you can play with it like a violin, coaxing out the most of each note, building a song of an experience, laden with delicious chemistry and personal meaning. An endless well of pleasure and discovery. Anyways, what that all means is being opportunistic with tension and developing habits that create an inviting or fertile ground for tension to be present. This means connecting deeper with your own sexuality and the rest of your identity so you have more flavors and styles for tension to wrap around in those moments as you engage with another, but it also means seeing and savoring more of the flavors and styles of your partner. You ask, what exactly do I do when I seduce my wife? Well, as you can maybe feel from all I wrote above, it is an organic and spontaneous process, rather than a tactical or calculating one. As a man, my seduction is about communicating and sharing feelings I have for my wife that in turn makes her feel incredibly sexy, empowered, felt and seen for who she is, relaxing her and distracting her from hard or logical thoughts, softening her, and building trust and a sense of magic, while also giving her those "tingles" and ache in her body. She may have a new fingernail polish on and rather than just comment on it, I'll take her hand in mine and slowly slide my fingers over her skin as I talk about her nails, noticing how they go with her eyes or how it works with her dress. In between that I'll kiss her fingers, then her wrist softly, then bite her there. Mixing the softness with a little bit of the animal inside me, taking her by surprise. Giving her a cheeky smile and a little flash of the sexual hunger, coiled inside me. Then I'll switch to talking about something else and let that simmer, while pulling her into me and sharing a moment of closeness, maybe nuzzling against her every now and then and slowly savoring the smell of her hair, gently and slowly grazing her ear with my lips and breath. I have a deep voice and when my sex rises, there is a subtle vibration or purr that does something to her. Life is a mixture of different feelings and emotions, and when sex is about sharing and communicating, rather than "getting something" a man can relax a bit from his usual tunnel vision and add sexuality to a mixture of other emotions. It's like cooking something in a crock pot over time with a mix of ingredients and delicious richness, rather than broiling a thing, so it is but a single dry flavor. PUA guys call this fractionation, but for me it's about having an abundant and multi-faceted experience. You take your time and make the little things something more than it would be if you remained passive. When I kiss my wife for instance, it is never some perfunctory peck on the lips, but a deep kiss, drawn out, and added onto with my hands on her body. Pulling her closer, playing with her clothes, holding onto her hair, trailing my lips from hers, down her jaw to the softness of her throat. When I kiss my wife, she has visions of us in different times, it transports her, it leaves her breathless and off-balance, but safe in my arms. The mixture of all these different feelings, fires her senses and carries her aloft. Sometimes, we'll play with each other, just almost touching to kiss, so close to the cusp, and then we'll slowly undulate around each other, holding that cusp and anticipation, till eventually it pulls us together in a passionate embrace. She'll even do similar things while dancing for me, dancing so close to my body, I can feel the tingle of anticipation of my skin touching hers, spreading out all over me. Then she'll dance, slowly leading me to the bedroom, stopping every now and then to add a flourish of her sexual personality to her dance moves. Seduction is about viewing normal things as an opportunity to create something more. A touch, a gaze, a conversation, sex... building it and enhancing it, slowing it down, so each individual detail has it's own space to breathe and be felt. Injecting your personal style and meaning to the movements and what they communicate. This is how a relationship stays fresh and vibrant. At first you have the novelty and infatuation making things so compelling, but eventually we have to take that responsibility into our own hands and create, rather than passively being carried along by hormones. This is getting pretty long, so if you have any questions on things I may have missed answering please just let me know. I want to switch gears for a second and talk about staying attracted to my wife and the different sides of her. In seduction there are two important distinctions to be aware of when examining how we respond to another. There is the allure or hotness of a person and their presence/spirit/personality. Focusing on allure, just by itself is a high-end dead-end, in that it appears to create intense attraction, but never satisfies and is eventually seen to be immature in it's ability to leave an impact on our fulfillment. Most people only focus on the allure of a person, chasing it's high, one girl or guy after another, treating the people behind the allure as disposable, an object of fantasy rather than actual connection. But, also most people haven't taken the time to connect with and mature the depths of their sexuality. The best sex comes from the interplay of presence and personality, while allowing that inter-play to balance out, ground, and enhance the natural allure a person has. The interplay is where the chemistry and tension are, allure alone is masturbatory and disconnected from the sharing of an experience together. The combination of my wife's spirit, sexuality, and natural allure is so fucking attractive to me and so deeply satisfying that I feel little need to indulge in other women. We're actually in an open relationship so we can sleep with whoever we want, but rarely do. I still seduce other women in little moments, here and there, but it's more about my health and love for rich experiences, than it is about getting sex. I can play chemistry like a violin and read a woman's sexual personality and coax it out of her as a part of who I am, so I don't have those egoic or insecure pressures pushing me for validation like other guys do. My focus is instead on building deeper and richer moments with my partner, because the more it builds, the more it transports us into higher and higher flow or trance states, that allow us to tap into deeper and more primal parts of who we are. For instance, male orgasms are usually like a spark of an experience. A brief moment of build-up and release. But mine last for a long time and build and change me, so I am like this bull of a man, roaring and devouring my wife, triggering her primal and ancient, witchy sides to come to the surface from her subconscious depths. Those are the kinds of sides, deep within a woman, that not many men, ever truly get to see. Orgasms are great and all, but there is more, they can be a vehicle that allows us greater access to who we are, when they are a part of a more intimate and richer experience. Actually, here is something my wife posted on Facebook last week that kind of shows her side of it. "I'm curious...is there anyone that has seen sacred geometry, flowers, shapes, ...etc during sex? Yes, I have as of last night...i saw just a simple white 5-petaled flower with a big rosy center and today I saw the sacred geometry flower forming...Hmmm...my left ear started ringing during a simple kiss yesterday too. Something has changed inside me. There's a stronger feeling of calm, peace, being at ease entirely...grounded, and capable. More than I've witnessed before...a knowing and wisdom too...and again calmness around it. Oh and the passion and fire! I don't know what...but married sex!!! lol I've never experienced ANYTHING like what we've been experiencing. wooooooo David says that it feels very empowering. Both of us! Just mind blowing!!! Body expanding and exploding into a million stars, whilst forming again and grounding into what feels like a VERY ancient knowing. I want to say 'body' but it isn't my body that is ancient...it's my soul...ALL of it. I feel that I have found new pieces of my soul...new knowing, understanding...so much. Oh! And I have gotten way more vocal in terms of saying what I want...if you have known me in the past...you know I don't generally speak up. I kinda like it it's powerful. I've never been like that during sex... So...I was curious if anyone sees sacred geometry, flowers, shapes...etc during sex? Feel free to private message me if you don't want to say it publicly. But please don't be a creepy dope. I'll block you." Jeez, this was long. I hope this helps you and please let me know if I need to clear something up for you. I wanted to share with you the spirit of seduction and the feeling around it, more than some logical, step by step thing. But, now that I've gotten through with talking about how to cultivate tension, I can give you more specifics after you digest this piece.

@Ayla You can tell yourself that if you want, but it might be a good idea to allow a little space for the fact that you might not be skilled or developed enough just yet to see and understand all that's going on behind thoughts. Allow a little humility and ignorance to be in the mix before attaching to your conclusions about there being no core or no "I". That "stickiness" is a mechanism of tension, the attachment and fusion with a thought, causing immersion. However, abilities with Tension are more rooted in load-bearing, or balancing competing forces, rather than "thinking". So stuff like watching your thoughts and asking questions will not be the primary influence in mediating that "stickiness". That mediation comes from working with tension over consistent periods of time and creating adaptations within a person's tensile resilience. It's more like developing a muscle than organizing information and finding "answers".

@Fitness Model How long have you two been married? My Wife and I have been married for over 4 years now and the sex is more soul and mind blowing than ever before. The key for us has been maintaining and building Sexual Tension, plus continuing to grow sexually together. Seduction is a passion of mine, it's communication, and dancing with emotion and sensation. My wife often says that I seduce her everyday and she returns that seductive energy in kind. Captivating attention, drawing out feelings and holding them till the thirst becomes over-whelming. Sex is not just a pleasure to drink from, it needs to be given time to build, it is a part of our identity and has both pains and pleasures around it. It is as much about self-restraint as it is about passion, and more about self-expression and adding personality then mechanical release. Anyways, without proper seduction you lose tension, which means you lose detail that your and his emotions respond to, and less feeling means more autopilot/habitual behavior, leading to boredom and the killing of anticipation. First-taste novelty and infatuation will only go so far and the comfort found in a relationship is not enough to sustain richness alone. In fact, comfort can lead to even more degradation of tension and an auto-pilot relationship, slowly draining of color. We have to protect the sexual sides of our nature from the habitual normalcy of life, it is a slippery slope that must be balanced, so our partners are both our confidants and lovers. But, it's not just about protecting that side, it's about fostering it, growing it, adding depth. I still haven't touched the bottom or seen all the sides of my wife's sexuality, nor experienced the very bottom of my own. Our sex just explodes into new heights as we grow and process who we are as people. It's amazing and blows my mind when I see all the more sex can really be. That mystery or unknown, protects the anticipation we have, fuels it, so our bodies ache for each other and our emotions leap into fires at the touch, because we've built these sexual patterns, over and over again together, for the course of our relationship. Also, for your guy, does he watch a lot of porn or masturbate often? Compared to the sex I know, porn fucking suuuucks and what's more is it desensitizes you to all the details that go on when your in the presence of your woman. The pixelated visual stimulation on a tv screen or whatever can't compare to all the energies being exchanged and most of all the tension that occurs when in real life. Plus, it reinforces the frame of mind that sex is about release and not about personal expression. There is no undulating and arching of bodies, the sharing of breath, the dominance and shared primal sexual deliciousness... it's a waste of sexual energy in my opinion and something to look into. Personally, I try not to even masturbate and prefer to hold that sexual ache and share it with my wife. A man should have dominance over his sexual urges and nature. So it is a part of him that washes over and surges around him, like waves from the ocean... at least that's how it feels within me. A slow burn, that you feel in your bones and draw from, so it shines in your eyes and smile.

I've dealt with stuff like this before in my own life. In my view, it's a severance of the natural inter-relations that occur with our stimulus-response mechanisms. Something, whether medications or in my case an over-analyticism interrupts the natural chemical cascade that occurs during an emotionally stimulating experience, "contaminating" it's composition and shifting which parts of our body activate in relation to the experience. Over time, this chronic imbalance erodes and disconnects these delicate systems from it's "normal" roles and begins to automatically follow this new "unhealthy" heuristic, creating a blunting of our usual emotional response. You can get yourself back on track with time though. I did purely through self-development and emotional processing. One of the best ways to feel, is to risk yourself and be vulnerable. I don't mean risking your life, but risking validation, social censure, COMFORT. Risk your comfort zones by involving yourself, your whole body, not just your mind. Go out and dance, go to a club by yourself, tell a girl she's beautiful. Go box or spar at a dojo. Your body has a shit load of emotional connections that haven't been screwed up yet, multiple pathways for it to renew itself. Risk being off balance and not knowing what's going to happen next. Risk the change of losing something or being wrong. Savor things, slowly smell a flower or sip on a tea, noticing the nuance of flavors, texture, the rise and fall and shift of different ingredients expressing. The more passive the endeavor (like eating), the less the emotional response. Novelty, rich contexts, details, these things aid emotion. Also be very aware of how you're relating to things. Don't look at them with an organizational or intellectual rapport, treat things as alive, with all the considerations that entails. These are the things that helped me with my emotions and I feel shit on the daily now, stronger and more richly than most people will ever experience. I don't suffer from numbness anymore. In fact, I can make myself more sensitive to things on command. I know it's a little bit different of a response, than what you were asking, but I hope it helps.

That "resonation" is the chemistry a given internalization you already have inside you is having with an associative, external stimulus. In the case your using, it's an attractive chemistry, which causes that feeling of resonation. Like, responding to like. There are a range of attractive or accepting feelings that come from that spectrum of internalization chemistry, just like there are a range of repulsive or rejecting feelings that come from the other side of that spectrum of internalization chemistry. Resonance and dissonance. I have a lot of capability and connection with my internalization system, so I can add nuance and context-specific internalizations on top of previously held beliefs, regardless of the initial chemistry, which gives me the ability to choose what I internalize and the depth of inter-connective information it also codes into my automated systems.

Eh, your writing leads me to believe you don't really have that deep an understanding of what nuance means. In a previous post you said "nothing is it's own entity, there are no clear, defined lines in this reality" yet everything in reality has it's own core and a boundary of shape. Every cell and atom has a nucleus, the earth has a core, each organ in every kind of body has clear distinct lines of shape, that when breached cause a detriment to the overall organisms health. This is reality. A boundary creates a shape, and a shape creates both specificity and limitation, gain and loss. That statement you made and many of the rest were clear cases of lacking nuance and having a flawed or inaccurate understanding of reality. A keyboard jockey is a person who does not recognize or respect the limits of their own understandings and breaches those limits by parroting things that are not backed up by quality, first-hand experience. Jumping to conclusions and assumptions that people who do have those experiences, can recognize as inaccurate and yes ignorant. Although it may seem counter-intuitive, limitation is a very necessary element of capability. It adds nuance and grounds you. It teaches you how awareness, potential, ignorance, and mystery all inter-relate. People talk about wanting to have a limitless awareness, but they haven't even expanded their awareness far enough to realize, putting limitations on awareness is a necessary thing for protecting one's health. Awareness has a "weight" to it, which is probably why in quantum mechanics, observing a wave function causes particles to collapse, although scientists don't know that yet themselves, because they haven't sensitized their awareness to that degree either. But anyways, if people develop enough, they'll find that if awareness delves too deep, it disrupts the integrity of the structures that work behind your thoughts and awareness (it's not a big deal for most people though, because they can't even feel/see what's behind their thoughts. It takes a long time to be both that calm and that fast.) The point is even awareness needs a counter-balance. Awareness is just another sub-system of who we are. It's great at specific things, but when it over-extends it will cause problems when a person is as developed with it as I am. I know this because I have the hard-won experience of hurting myself with awareness and learning how to protect the integrity of shape and fidelity of expression, of the very fragile, but powerful structures that all sync up to make me who I am. Trust/Internalization is another sub-system with its own specific roles and limitations. Roles, few people show any real understanding of. Frankly, you guys come across as idiots with the way you talk about beliefs being an illusion (which is a belief/internalization and a stupid one). Every belief has an objective physical presence, that is a nuanced, context-specific chemical cascade, that our bodies INTERNALIZE into long-term memory and also automatically self-reference when it encounters outside stimulus that has an associative chemistry with this internalization. This association can be cooperative and synergistic, or it can be adversarial (attraction/acceptance or repulsion/rejection with all the different degrees in between such a spectrum). Just because it's internalized doesn't mean it's accurate, it just feels acceptable or attractive to that person, based on their current orientation and chemistry. Specificity means limitation, but synergy and cooperation among structures with specific roles, creates a development that makes those limitations avenues for cohesion and harmony. You find out that there are reasons for boundaries and beauty in fragility and the need for inter-relation and cooperation. But, you won't understand that with tunnel vision and this blind drive to JUST see everything as one thing. You don't understand the reality of nature if you look at it from a one-dimensional lens.

Yup, I've been able to do that for years, it's no biggie. Thinking isn't that big of a deal when you can work directly with the chemical/energetic pattern it's derived from. The real trick is doing it in the right way, so your level of self-restraint isn't oppressive. Self-control shouldn't be like a hammer, you have to lead up to a softer touch. Every pattern has an integrity of shape and fidelity of expression that should be sheltered, for better health.

@khalifa Conatus (from wiki) "In early philosophies of psychology and metaphysics, conatus (/koʊˈneɪtəs/;[1] Latin for "effort; endeavor; impulse, inclination, tendency; undertaking; striving") is an innate inclination of a thing to continue to exist and enhance itself.[2] This "thing" may be mind, matter or a combination of both. Over the millennia, many different definitions and treatments have been formulated. Seventeenth-century philosophers René Descartes, Baruch Spinoza, Gottfried Leibniz, and Thomas Hobbes made important contributions.[3] The conatus may refer to the instinctive "will to live" of living organisms or to various metaphysical theories of motion and inertia." Enlightenment like vizual and other people describe is limited and ignorant, due to the false conclusions they ascribe to and internalize from that limitation. It lacks nuance and is steeped in fear, delusion, and ignorance. They talk about having this limitless awareness, but yet they are unaware of how internalization/belief works. They should be able to feel the objective/physical shifts that happen when we internalize a belief, but for all their self-aggrandizement are physically incapable of such a task. They should understand contrast and have a physical capability with it that would allow for nuance and clear thinking in emotionally charged situations, but they don't. They don't have any first-person experience with feeling the individual streams of emotion and experience that happen as we move through life and no regard for protecting their integrity and fidelity (integrity of shape/composition, fidelity of expression). It's keyboard jockey shit. Enlightenment is just a vague word and idea their attracted to and chase because their stressed by where they currently are. I get it, I'm not downing anyone for that. Beginner or developmental stress fucking sucks, but we can all do much, much better. The way you're seeing it is sad, but that's not the way it has to be. We grow and understand through connection/relation, building synergy, distinction, protecting the integrity of distinctions, and internalizing the feedback that comes from the success of these efforts. If you want to have an awareness that isn't limited by the self-contained system of your "thinking mind" then you have to connect and synergize with, diversify the distinctions of, and protect those distinctions within your somatosensory system and other parts of your different nervous systems. The feedback from such an endeavor fills your mind with experiences, internalizations, and consequent physical shifts that provides a contrast for your "thinking mind". This contrast provides balance and "fills" in the connections that lie outside what the thinking part of ourselves is capable of. Doing so gives you real world skills and abilities via the taking on of responsibilities that allows you to balance and bring nuance to all those shifting dynamics going on within your body. The more I grow, the more "I", I become, but also the more "We". Everything inside me is alive and has it's own conatus, it's own fidelity and integrity of shape, and I work with them to be who I am. I take care of them, connect, and have an intimate relationship with them that gives me deep understandings about myself and the world. Thinking is a self-contained system, but it is a sub-system, not the whole system, and we can expand it's capabilities by synergizing and contrasting it with our other sub-systems, so we are not caged. (Plus the boundaries of that self-containment are porous, it's not an absolute boundary [it's analogous to the blood-brain barrier]. After many years you eventually learn to protect that boundary and take care of it, rather than try to break it down.) We don't have to run away from this task, or give-up and delude ourselves with empty platitudes.

It seems the general narrative for most people is that "fear is the enemy" or whatever and it kind of gets a bad rap, but do you have any fears that are precious to you, that maybe you even love in the proper context? I've done a lot of work on myself and the biggest fear I've found is my fear of loss. It's kind of beautiful actually, that my biggest fear is also my most precious one. I'm afraid to lose what I have or could have, because I care about it. I'm invested and connected to it. That fear, when balanced with my deep capability becomes a mirror for me and a divining rod, helping me find what I care about, and show me in a more authentic way than I can sometimes muster, how deeply some things really mean to me. Fear is a helpful thing, when added into the mix in a balanced way. I love how fear makes me more sensitive to a thing, so I can see and process more. I love how it shakes loose rigidity, arrogance, and delusions of grandeur. It reminds me of limitation and fragility, and those are beautiful to, because limitation breeds creativity and fragility breeds beauty (in the right contexts). And all those together create a space for honesty and courage. I love this fragile, brutally beautiful world. Where even courage and fear can find a beautiful harmony dancing together.

Found a new favorite fear to love. It's the "fear of being off-balance". I love connecting with this fear and joining it with my courage, because it smooths out the split second reactions that would come from surprising things. Not just stressful things, but pleasant and euphoric things, so when the emotions breeze through, the initial off-balance feel doesn't choke out the full breath of the feeling... Objectively speaking, smoothing out those reactions consequently smooths out the chemical/hormonal composition of the actual emotional experience, making what is felt and also stored into long term memory much "cleaner/healthier" or more free of distortion. Ahh, nice I'm getting a way, WAY better understanding of what forgetfulness is. My memory retention and recall is going to be off the charts healthy over the next couple years. Anyways, the other cool thing about embracing this fear, is getting a better view on the width and breadth of the time spent off-balance contrasted with amount of time in balance, plus the degrees of differentiation and adaption those mixtures can contain, as well as how they've changed over the course of a particular history. It's pretty damn cool to see all the ways my voice can change, depending on the qualities of my body and how I respond to its environment. Why? Because when you know what your voice sounds like across such a wide spectrum, you also see where the center of that spectrum lies and how deep that center can go. The Goldilocks zone of my voice. Who I am is an ocean of shifting tides. To know all of my voices, is to know the core of my voice. The me I am, when I am taking the best care of the integrity of my shape, that holds this shifting expanse.

Since this a self-improvement forum I thought it'd be cool to have a space where people could pop in and write down what they're currently working on with regard to self-improvement or self-actualization. A place to get support or bounce ideas off each other in a respectful, but authentic manner. I'd like to see this space with a focus on grounded objectives, rather than entitlements. If your working on what you believe is enlightenment, that's fine, but please be specific about your focus, like saying you're working on your sensitivity with bodily sensations to balance out an over-occupation with your mind's inner-narrative for example. What I'm currently working on is managing the chemical by-product that is created and builds with every initiation of emotion. I can feel the build-up and can let it process out through my kidneys and liver, before continuing on with my area of focus or direction of feeling. This allows me greater clarity, stability, and nuance as a person, which over time changes my characteristics and removes the product of waste build-up, including things like a proclivity for delusion, aggression, certainty, blindness, and myriad types of assholery. This gives me access to much a larger volume of contextual information, exponentially increasing the quality and coherency of my growth. I'm also working on holding in parallel my internal and external awareness, so they harmonize and work at the same time, much like how water moves up and over itself as the ocean tide. It creates a gravitational contrast allowing me to have the best of both worlds. So I can fully and deeply feel what I want, longer than ever before, while also thinking deeply about the feeling and processing the context around it, which makes my experiences that much more richer and viable for storage into long-term memory and and long-term skill retention. But, enough about me. What are you working on?

So the four things I'm working on this week are harmonizing the duality of courage and fear, allowing more light, to match and balance out my darkness, harmonizing diffusion/options with specificity/limitation, and balancing trust/automation with self-control/capability. Oh and there is also the connection with my sex. Connecting with those parts of me, not just when I want to have sex, but in the down times in between. So I'm not just connecting with my sex to "drink" from it, but because I want to have a relationship that includes that part of me in all facets of my life. My sex is about sharing, connection, and expression, not release. It's beautiful because it creates this slow burn of sexuality in my body that washes over me and can turn every bit of my communication at times into this feeling of sex. The air thickens around me and just looking into my wife's eyes feels like I'm slowly sliding into her wetness. Moving forward into her space, kissing her, pressing her body against mine, each touch a sensual penetration, her energy, hungrily wrapping around my presence and gyrating, pulsing, gently vibrating. It feels so fucking good being the man I am and seeing how this world can show me pleasures I never knew could exist.

You say transforming, but what do you mean by that? Emotions have distinct shapes and patterns that express in concert with other factors and structures that also have distinct shapes and patterns (and roles). They inter-relate and synergize to create larger shapes and patterns, some with harmonious chemistries and some with adversarial ones. It's a constant flow of shifting and building and inter-relating, all the while connected to other things constantly shifting and flowing and inter-relating. What I'm saying is think about what you mean by the word transform and how deeply you truly understand the physical composition and sheer number of inter-relative gyrations going on with any change. Anyways, I'm the source of this knowledge. I work with all of this stuff first hand. I don't know what the hell other people are doing with their meditations, but I used mine to enhance the sensitivities of my awareness so I can feel multiple things in parallel. So I can feel an emotion, plus the physical sensation of its shifts and changes, plus it's attractive/repulsive force. Being aware and sensitive to all three allowed me to learn all three together. Which means becoming sensitive to them, differentiating their nuances, tracking those nuances as they change and inter-relate, and deciphering how the different chemistries of those inter-relations play out as I focus on different things. This gives me a grounded, realistic way of understanding the fabric of reality. Basically I track movement and patterns of movement. Movements that occur behind thought in a fraction of a second, with it's own gravity and wave of electromagnetic influence across many, many different contexts. When you do that, you can then sensitize yourself to the structures behind thought, that generate those movements. Which creates a contrast between those structures and the self-contained limitations of your mind, creating a bridge of connection, that expands awareness, via populating your mind/perspective with context and experience from working with these different structures. Basically, I expand my mind by expanding my senses, because expanding my senses gives me more connections to gain information from, which then feeds my mind with an enhanced perspective or view about reality that I can then re-apply. Each different part, working hand in hand, to help the other expand in ways it could not do alone. Yea, sort of. That's some of it...

@Falk You're talking polymaths? Yea, you want to have the best of both worlds. So like an eye, you want to be able to zoom in and out with your focus, with multiple fields of depth. Having a large population of inter-connected information in just one field isn't enough, you need to have many so they can contrast and inter-relate and you can see the universal associative patterns, while also being able to isolate down into specificity. In my growth I have fields of depth including kinesiology, psychology, biology, seduction, fighting, engineering, chemistry, physics, music, art, and many others. The only limits are my own interest and inclinations. I can learn anything (I'm by no means a master at all of them, but I'm well on my way). In order to master mastery, you have to master being a beginner.

We can't make the mistake of thinking one replaces the other. They don't negate and replace, they mix together. Most people get tunnel-vision when they feel emotions (its a tensile resiliency issue) and think they're only feeling a single feeling, but there is always a mixture of emotions going on. Even if one emotion passes and another one get's a chance to "breathe" it's still having a chemistry with the chemical by-product left over from the previous emotion. When a person develops a nuanced sensitivity for emotions, they can feel these different mixtures and the different chemistries emotions can have when they're blended together. Internalizing this reality keeps you from lines of thought like "one is more essential than the other". It harmonizes your feelings towards all the emotions, so you don't treat any like an asshole and keep a space for all of them and focus on being creative to find the best mix, rather than running away or trying to "kill" them. People love comfort for instance, but comfort plus surrender, is the chemistry depression uses to kind of hustle people into accepting/internalizing it's energy pattern into their lives. Because, my mind is fast enough and sensitive enough to see this, I haven't felt surrender emotions in over 2 years and no depression for over 3 years. Another cool one is blending pain and pleasure. Because, I've connected with scarcity and darkness and deep, deep pain, I can connect all three of those with pleasure so that when I feel pain now, I also feel a small to large bit of pleasure/euphoria. The pleasure doesn't replace the pain, and I'm glad it doesn't, because then I wouldn't be able to tell if my efforts were damaging my internal systems. You want the best of both worlds for all chemistries, not continually replacing one world for another. If you want to build something, you have to add something. In order to add, you have to see, understand, connect, and care. Imagine building a house, and if every time you wanted to throw up a wood stud for the foundation, you had to replace the one before it. You'd only ever have one piece of wood just standing there, connected to nothing. You'll never build a house like that. That's why going from duality to one-ness/non-duality is so stupid. You don't replace a duality, you connect and add so you have a trinity/balance, which becomes a platform for multi-dimensionality.

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